


All Of Me

by TwilightCakes



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Action, F/M, Romance, imprint, vampire, wolf - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-31
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2017-11-23 03:16:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 37
Words: 159,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/617476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwilightCakes/pseuds/TwilightCakes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SEQUEL TO 'LOVE THIS 'PAIN'.  YOU DO NOT HAVE TO READ THAT STORY FIRST, BUT IT WILL HELP.<br/>Brady is the pack's most volatile wolf and loves to be one thing: an asshole. But when he meets and imprints on Lexi, his life is in for some major twists he didn't plan. Can he change who he is to be what she needs?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is the sequel to my other fic, 'Love This Pain'. It is considered Book II of the 'Love Vs. Misery' saga. You do not have to read LTP to understand this fic, but it will certainly help. Contains mature topics and language. Rated M for a reason. Well, several.

Chapter 1: What an Asshole Lives For

Brady

My name is Brady. And I am an asshole.

A self-aware asshole, as a matter of fact.

I knew what I was. You could say that I owned it.

The wood of the headboard creaked under my iron grip. The sheets were starting to get damp with our sweat, her cries were too shrieky and annoying, and my roommates probably wanted to kill me, but none of that mattered. Instead, I went faster, thrusting my hips against her until I heard the satisfying slapping noise of our bodes as they moved. She bit her lip and moaned, her nails digging into my ass as she came.

"Oh!...Brady...fuck yes!" she cried, her voice high-pitched and needy. "You're amazing!"

"I know," I grunted, pushing harder. It had only taken me an hour to get her into bed. That was all it took – I was just that good. As I watched the tan, big breasted brunette girl cry out beneath me, I was struck with a delightful thought.

I was such an asshole, but...it feels good to be me. Lifting up her leg, I slung it over my shoulder and gave her a wink, before changing the angle of my movements. She arched her back and mewled into the pillow, her body spasming with pleasure. Jesus, it feels so good to be me. Especially right now.

She twisted again, her mouth falling open and her eyes turning hazy as her orgasm overcame her body. "Say my name!"

Fuck.

Maybe it wasn't so good.

I groaned and pretended to be so lost in my euphoria that I couldn't speak. Instead, she wailed again and begged me to say her name. I felt myself begin to coil as my own release approached, taking over every thought in my mind.

"Brady...what's my name?" she panted, staring up at me. I growled and pummeled her faster, ignoring her icy glare.

"Ahhh!" I grunted, tumbling over the edge. My cock pulsed in pleasure as my body reeled, my breathing heavy and labored. Fuck, I definitely loved sex. I felt my own release calm my frazzled thoughts for a good five seconds before her high-pitched whiny voice broke through again.

"Um, hello?"

I glanced down at the stilled body beneath me, raising an eyebrow in question. "Yes?"

She fumed. "I asked you what's my name?"

I paused, debating my answer. "Um, Michelle?"

She gasped in disgust, pushing me off of her with a grunt. Standing up, she wiped her sweaty hair out of her face with a pouty noise. "My name is Kelly. Not Michelle. Not even close, and this is the third time we've hooked up!"

"I was drunk!" I protested, flopping down on my bed. I sighed, trying to catch my breath as I basked in the post-orgasmic feeling that had overtaken my body. I watched as she picked her clothes up off the floor, quickly dressing. It was true - I had managed to get drunk for a good half an hour. About a bottle and a half of Jameson had done the trick, and I had been determined to ride out the feeling before the searing heat of my body burned it off.

When you were a shape-shifting werewolf with a lava-esque body temperature, it was hard to enjoy the feeling of being drunk for long, and I had wanted to revel in it. We had fucked twice last night and once this morning, and well...an hour of drunken sweet talking to her bimbo ass had been worth it.

"Next time you try to pick me up after a night of drinking, I'll remind myself that your cock's not worth it, even if it's huge. I hope karma makes it fall off. Then what would you do?"

"Not gonna happen sweetheart. Don't let the door hit you on the way out," I chuckled.

You're an asshole," she spat, swinging the door open. She pulled it shut with a slam, disappearing.

"Yeah, well tell me something I don't know, bitch!" I bellowed after her. I couldn't even finish that sentence without laughing. I leaned against my headboard, pulling the used condom off and tossing it into the trash. I didn't care if she was angry with me, and I didn't really care if my roommates were pissed at me for fucking the shit out of her despite our paper thin walls. Pulling on a pair of boxers, I stumbled out of my bedroom and down the hall, finding one of my roommates at the kitchen table.

Embry looked up at me, his gaze reproachful as he crunched on his cereal. "Really?" he asked flatly. I barked out a laugh, slapping his shoulder as I sauntered past.

"Really," I confirmed, flinging the cabinet open. "Christ, are we already out of clean bowls? My mom did the dishes like a week ago!"

"Yes, Brady, we're out of bowls. Call mommy to have her do your dishes," Embry snapped. Shit, was he ever grouchy lately. I felt my skin crawl as he mentioned my mother.

"Hey," I growled, turning around. "My mom does my dishes because I'm busy."

"Yeah? Well, does she know her baby is busy fucking the whoriest girls in La Push?"

I grabbed a gigantic mixing bowl, placing it on the counter with a clatter. Embry looked up, obviously annoyed with my antics. "You're one to talk."

He rolled his eyes and grunted. Whatever. He could be pissed at me for all I cared. He was rarely home anyway, and I could give a shit if I was on his bad side. I had needed a good fuck anyway. I became antsy if I didn't get some every week or so.

"Last night you were loud, this morning you were just disgusting. Isn't it time to grow up a little?" he asked.

I laughed loudly again as I poured a mammoth sized portion of cereal into the too-big bowl, sloshing a generous portion of milk on top. "Spoken like a true imprinted pussy," I chuckled.

Embry frowned at me, his eyes turning down towards his breakfast. He had imprinted not long ago, and apparently it had been nothing but constant ups and downs for him since then. His imprint had major daddy issues, and had caused him nothing but trouble since she had come into his life. I didn't understand why people celebrated imprinting – it was nothing to celebrate.

It wasn't a blessing.

It was a death sentence.

Imprinting was a phenomenon that was supposed to be rare. Rare my ass. It was only a true blessing in extremely rare situations. In my opinion, two prerequisites need to be met for imprinting to provide any form of happiness.

One, the girl had to be single, the same age or only slightly younger. Two, she had to be open to the whole freaky supernatural part of our lifestyle.

The instances of that happening were slim. Very slim. Half the time when a wolf met his imprint, she was so unattainable it wasn't even funny. Besides, why would any girl want to spend the rest of her life with a shape-shifting werewolf, retired or not if she can help it.

"You're looking extra miserable today. Your imprint still with her boyfriend?"

Embry glanced up at me, his dark eyes burning into mine. I knew people were getting sick of my behavior; I could feel my pack brothers growing tired of me. But I couldn't help who I was.

Like I said. Asshole.

"Shut it Brady. Just shut it."

"Touchy touchy," I snorted, diving into my cereal. We ate the rest of breakfast in silence, both of us annoyed, but too preoccupied to care about commenting further. Like I said before; I knew people were getting tired of me. But honestly, it was the only way I knew how to be. Being loud, got me annoying, got me reactions.

Wasn't that what assholes lived for?

I ignored Embry some more, glancing out the kitchen window as the sun made a rare appearance in La Push. We lived with the cloudy weather ninety percent of the time, so seeing the sun emerging through the tree outside my window was surprising.

"You actually have to go to work today," Embry growled, tossing his dirty bowl in the sink in front of me. Water splashed up against my chest as he sauntered away, making me snarl over my shoulder at him. He moped away, uninterested in a fight.

Damn.

I could really use a good, rough brawl right now.

I had spent the last few days on edge, and I didn't know why. So far it wasn't anything a run, a bottle of whisky, and a girl could fix. That was usually what pacified me for the time being. But lately I felt off. Or different. I couldn't place it.

I arrived at work just as the sun was making it's way up into the sky. It was spring in Forks, and I was glad that the weather had finally improved enough for me to work. When you did construction and concreting for a living, it made it tough to make a lot of money when it rained the majority of the time. I couldn't complain though; my small house in La Push was split between myself, Embry, and a few other members of our pack, and it was paid for. I never got sick or seriously injured, so I had no need for insurance or benefits. My only cost was food and utilities – both of which I could mooch off my loving yet gullible mother if needed.

"Hey man, care to keep it down tonight? I can't go through one more day of work like this without a good night's sleep. Between your marathon fucking sessions and the double patrols Jake has me on, I'm running on like two hours," Astin whined, dropping a bag of mortar. I dropped my two bags next to his, smirking at him.

"Maybe if you got laid once in a while you'd sleep better."

"I'd have to have a girl to do that," he moped.

"Then why don't you take the shrink wrap off your balls and actually introduce them to your dick? I think you'll find you might like having them."

He sighed and rolled his eyes at my comment.

"Brady, I share a wall with your headboard. I put ear plugs in and I still couldn't sleep. Can't you give it a rest for like...one night?"

I chuckled to myself as my pack brother whined. I worked in construction with several members of my pack as that kind of schedule usually worked well for us. My father owned the construction company we were working for, but he wasn't in on our little wolfy secret. He just thought we were bulked up guys who enjoyed physical labor in lieu of a good workout. I had phased for the first time in front of my mother, so needless to say, she knew about my supernatural life. However, my father was still in the dark about everything, and I preferred to keep it that way.

As if on queue, I heard the door of the mobile trailer slam close. I knew my father was in there with the architect going over the plan for the day. Looking up, I braced myself for whatever wrath my father wanted to dole out today.

"Here we go," Astin muttered, walking away. I straightened up as my father marched up to me with another man in tow.

"Brady! Come meet Mr. Scott. Mr. Scott, this is my son, Brady."

I tried not to yawn as I shook the hand of the man in front of me. He didn't seem to mind that my hands were covered in dirt and concrete mix, instead giving me a bright smile.

"Brady, good to meet you. Your father was just raving about the team's work so far. I must say, I am impressed."

"We work hard. Get the job done...when the weather permits."

He nodded, looking back at my father. "Mr. Scott is the architect on the project. He's new to the area, and might have some side work for you," my father said politely, giving me a pointed look. That was so him – acting all polite and well-to-do in front of strangers. If we were alone, he'd be on my ass for not working enough or for something else he felt I had done wrong in life.

"Your father's right. I just bought a lovely house on the edge of town. One of the execs at the old mill lived there before it shut down. Only problem is, there isn't a garage. I'm looking to build something on the side of the house. I'm thinking a carriage-styled house might be suitable, maybe with a living area above it."

I nodded. Of course the last thing I wanted to do was get involved with any sort of guy my father knew, but the money would be nice. "Sure, sure. If you give me some sketches, I can get started on a proposal for the materials."

"That would be wonderful. Your father says you do good work."

I eyed my father and nodded. "I bet he did."

My sarcastic tone was lost on the smiling man, who was busy surveying our work so far. We were currently building a new library for the town since the old one had been there since it was founded, and was now looking dilapidated.

"Your mother reminded me to tell you to be home for dinner tonight. Mr. Scott, I'll get you Brady's contact info before you head out for the day. Now over here..."

Their voices drowned out as I rolled my eyes and stomped away. Such a typical move for my father. His favorite thing to do was put me up to something, judge me the entire time I worked on it, and then give some flippant, arrogant comment at the end when the work was finished. In his opinion, I never did anything right.

In a way, I had given up trying.

I coasted through the day with barely a hangover and a solid day of pay. My muscles were slightly sore from the vigorous framing work we did that day, but my stomach overruled it. I was starving for a home-cooked meal, and tonight was lasagna night at my family home.

Parking my old truck on the side of the road, I jogged across the lawn to the front door. Swinging it open, I was met with the smell of lasagna as it baked in the oven.

"Brady?"

I heard my mom call out before she rounded the corner with a wide grin. "There's my little boy," she laughed. "Did you have a good day?"

"Yeah ma, got lots of work done down at the job site."

"Yeah? You hungry?"

I nodded hungrily, following her into the kitchen. We were one of the luckier families in La Push. My dad was from the area, and was full-blooded Quileute. Wanting to make a better life for himself, he had started his construction business when he was barely out of high school. It had taken off since then, and I have had the privilege of growing up in one of the nicest houses in the entire reservation. He worked extremely hard and was rarely home as I grew up, leaving my mom to raise me. He had met her on the job a few years before I was born – she was an interior designer working on one of the houses he was building. She described it as love at first sight. I thought she was crazy.

"Dad home yet?"

"He's in the shower. Long day?"

I nodded. "Yah."

She handed me a cold beer and smiled as I cracked it open, the two of us enjoying a comfortable silence as she prepared the rest of dinner. I watched her take a long swig from her wine glass and refill it another three times. I smiled and turned the other cheek, too preoccupied with my own problems to bother opening that can of worms. Before long, I heard my dad make his way down the steps, and into the kitchen. He pecked my mother on the cheek before looking in my direction.

"Finish that sidewalk today?"

I shook my head. "Nah, we were short on mix. Ordered more though, should get it tomorrow."

His eyebrow twitched. "That puts us a day behind. You couldn't manage to get it finished?"

My blood boiled immediately. My father had a way of pissing me off without even saying ten words. "I just said we didn't get it finished. We were short on materials. Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that responsibility lie with the contractor?" I snapped.

His eyes narrowed. "A good foreman learns to get the job done no matter what. That's what your goal is, right? To be foreman?"

"Whatever," I growled, grabbing my can of beer. I squeezed the sides making it crack in protest against my hand as I made my way over to the table. My mom kept her eyes down as she put the large tray of pasta on the table. He followed, muttering under his breath about how ungrateful I was.

"Dinner's ready," she said quietly, pouring herself a rather large glass of wine. I watched as she sucked it down, not wasting any time as she reached for a refill. My father gave her a tight smile before cutting into our dinner.

"Did you have a good day?" my mom asked as we dug in. My father grunted at her in response, making my mother's brown eyes turn down towards her plate.

"Mr. Scott has graciously offered to allow Brady to build his carriage house," he finally said, glancing across the table at me. I put my fork down, balling my napkin in my hand. So he decided to bring it up, did he? Now all I had to do was wait for it.

"That sounds lovely. Has he drawn up plans for it yet?"

"I saw the rough sketches today. Has a very colonial feel to it – really nice. He's a talented man."

"That will be a lovely thing to add to your resume honey," my mom said happily, beaming across the table at me. I nodded, taking a large bite of food before I said something I would regret.

"She's right. Do a good job on this, and then maybe someday you can get a real job. You won't have to come home three times a week for a decent meal, and you get to make a good life for yourself."

I let my fork fall to the plate with a clatter. "Are you saying what I do isn't a real job?"

He shrugged, his dark eyes flashing. I swear, that man lived to fight with me. "Just saying...someday you might want to do more than just pour concrete and frame houses. That's all I'm saying son."

I growled deep in my chest, curling my lip up like I would in wolf form. I felt my mother tense across the table, gripping her wine glass as I turned my head up to look at him.

"That's all you're saying? Cuz I don't think it is. Why don't you just spit it out old man?"

He smirked in response, satisfied that he had gotten a rise out of me. "Don't read into this Brady. No one likes a drama queen. I just expect more from you as you are my only son. You can't live in that cabin all your life, partying it up and wasting everyone's time."

I threw my napkin down and stood up quickly, making my chair topple over into the china cabinet behind me. A dish fell off its stand and shattered, but I paid no attention as I pushed away from the table.

"Wasting time? You think that's what I do?"

"I see it every day son. Now sit down and eat. You're upsetting your mother."

"I bust my ass in ways you don't even know. You just...you wouldn't understand," I spat, glaring daggers at him. I met my mother's worried gaze and felt bad for scaring her, but I was too pissed off to care. My father was the only person who could really make my temper flare and make me truly angry, and he knew exactly how to push my buttons.

"Just saying you're turning out to be a little bit of a slacker. Might be good to buckle down and actually...do something," he said casually, placing a piece of lasagna calmly on his tongue. He chewed and stared up at me, waiting for me to explode.

"Fuck this," I muttered, turning away from the table. I was out the door and on the front lawn faster than my mother could even utter a word. I threw the truck into drive and sped away, feeling my rage pool in my spine as I headed towards my shared house.

Stay in control, Brady. Stay in control. I thought as I tried to calm myself down.

Thank God I was going back to an empty house. Everyone was out on patrol. I was itching to start a fight I didn't really even want in a mood like this. I tore into the empty house and growled loudly, my skin already crawling.

My father was the most fucking annoying human being on the planet. So why did he have to be my father? I didn't know anyone who couldn't stand their own dad. Everything I did, everything I said, everything – was wrong in his eyes. With an angry swipe of my arm, I cleared the kitchen table and everything on it, sending several dishes to the floor with a loud clatter.

"ARRRRRRGH!"

I stood panting in the kitchen, my chest rising and falling with the ire and contempt that shot through my veins. Still heaving, I stumbled to the couch as I fought the urge rip out of my clothes and phase.

No...I couldn't. As many times as I had tried, the wolf could not make all the demons of my life disappear. I had fought for my father's approval all of my natural life. For as long as I could remember, I had tried to do things I thought would please him. Then, when that would inevitably backfire, I would do everything in my power to piss him off. I could never win.

The one person I wanted to validate me had grown to hate me so much that we could barely be in the same room with one another. The self-hatred I felt for not being good enough for him made me long to jump out of my own skin and hop into another person's.

Why can't I become someone else. Anyone else. Just not me.

Frustrated, I let my head sink into my hands as I sat on the edge of the couch, fisting my hair. The pain felt good and brought me somewhat back to the present.

My problems were those that wouldn't go away, no matter how much distance I ran, how long I stayed phased, or how many vampires I killed.

Because as many times as I had tried, I knew I couldn't run away from myself.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Ugly Duckling...Kinda.

Lexi

Chanel sunglasses. Prada handbag. Gucci clutch. Dior scarf.

I gazed down at the contents of the box, somewhat mournful but overall unamused. I wouldn't need these things in Forks. The box screamed California - my old life. Washington was my new life, but I was utterly clueless about what I would need here. I closed the lid of the box, shoving it under my bed. Maybe I would use them here, maybe I wouldn't. Regardless, those were things my mother had bought me to help me fit in back home. The girls back there in my small beach town had been nothing but shallow materialistic queen bees. I had never been interested in any of it.

Sitting back on my knees, I surveyed my new bedroom with a satisfied sigh. Even though Washington was new to me, it already felt a lot better than home. Sure, I would miss the sun, the surf, the San Diego lifestyle and my tan, but when my dad offered a fresh start with a move to Washington, I knew this wasn't a chance I could pass up. I needed to leave California.

There was a knock on the slightly ajar door.

"You can come in," I said from the floor. I saw who it was and instantly smiled. "Hey Patrick."

"Hey you," he said softly, walking in. "Care if I join you?"

I shrugged, watching as he walked in and sat in the window seat. I gave him a knowing grin as he looked nervously at the door.

"Is Dad trying to decorate again?" I asked with a quiet giggle.

He nodded. "I think he thought just because I've been doing this whole...lifestyle longer than he had that I'm supposed to be good at it. You'd think at least one of us would be good at décor, wouldn't you?"

"You're good at the architecture, and that's all that matters. I love the details you put into your work." I said.

"So you're sure you want to do this?" he asked, gesturing to my new bedroom.

I looked around the room, giving him a happy nod. "Of course I do! What girl wouldn't?"

"It's a big step. Moving all the way from home to...to live with your dad instead of your mom."

"Is this really about that?" I asked.

He shrugged, following my gaze as I looked around the brand new bedroom that my dad had designed just for me - a perk of being an architect's daughter. The room was something I knew he had done especially for me and only me; high vaulted ceilings, a picture window with a window seat, a walk-in closet, and my own private bathroom. What seventeen year old girl wouldn't love that?

After purchasing the house several months ago and having it renovated especially for us, it was now a dream home. He had designed the house with both me and my brothers in mind, but I was the only one who had made the move to Washington with him.

"No. I guess what I'm asking is...are you sure you want to start afresh in a new town with...with two dads?"

I felt a sympathetic smile spread across my face as I watched Patrick squirm on the cushions. His kind eyes were pleading for an answer, and I wanted to give it to him. I didn't regret my choice to move.

"Of course I do," I said, popping up. I moved to sit beside the man I already considered my second father. "This isn't 1950. People don't think like that anymore."

"I know, I know...but we're from California. What if...what if kids in Forks aren't so nice about...well...this?"

"Don't worry. I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself."

He sighed, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. I laid my head on his arm, trying my best to appear calm for Patrick. He was nervous enough for the both of us as it was, so I didn't want to give away how terrified I was to start at a new school. I had gone to school with the same kids since I was in kindergarten; I had never been the new kid before in my life.

"Lexi, you're more mature than most adults I know."

"Patrick, I'm a total goofball. Most of the time my little brothers have to tell me to stop giggling at inappropriate times."

"Yeah, well...laughter is the best medicine."

"You should take your own advice," I said quietly. He snorted.

"I can't do that. Haven't you heard the word on the street? I'm a home wrecker."

I shrugged. "Mom knew Dad was...you can only hide who you are for so long. Dad deserves to be happy, and he's going to be happy with you. Mom needs to move on too, so she can have a chance to be happy. Shouldn't everyone get another chance?"

"You're a genius."

"I'm a simpleton," I argued back, laughing softly.

"I'm glad you're here kid. You've really made this whole thing a lot easier," he said softly, bumping his head with mine. I nodded and turned to look at him. His kind eyes stared back at me with an overwhelming sense of fear.

I guess starting over was scary no matter how old you were.

We talked for a few more minutes before he left me to myself to finish unpacking. Suddenly, it became quite clear to me why I had left California for Forks; I loved my dad.

My brothers were still too little to fully understand what had happened between he and my mom, and none of us had the heart to explain it to them. How do you tell a six and a nine year old their father fell in love with his business partner? And ever more - that he was another guy? But that he and mom were still best friends?

We lived in a small beach town, and news got around fast. People were accepting, but that didn't mean they talked less. Gay or straight, people loved to talk about any scandalous detail they could. Gossip was gossip and it was too much to bear.

The night of my father's tearful confession to me was still fresh in my mind. He sat across the coffee table from me, clutching my mother's hand. She was spaced out on Percocet and I'm sure a few too many glasses of wine, but I couldn't blame her. No one wanted to live a lie anymore and the truth needed to be said. Needless to say, it hadn't been a very Merry Christmas.

He had lived with Patrick after that. It had been six months of awkward dinners, quiet fights over the phone, and dealing with whispers everywhere I went. By the time, my dad had announced he was picking up his architecture business and moving back to his hometown, I was fed up and ready to leave as well.

I unwrapped a picture of my mother, placing it on my dresser with care. I swallowed back a lump in my throat, trying to remember that my dad needed me. He needed to know that his decision to finally be happy was an okay one. He needed love and support, and I knew he was worried about what I thought. I guess moving to another state with him was proof that I wasn't angry or disapproving of his new lifestyle.

Moving to Forks with him was the only way I knew how to tell him what I couldn't convey with words: I love you dad, and I'm happy that you're finally happy.

Walking over to my closet, I tried my best to unpack a few outfits that would be suitable for the Forks weather. It hadn't stopped drizzling since my arrival, and I was still saying goodbye to my fading California tan. Glancing at myself in the closet mirror, I wondered how I would fit in here. I was just ordinary in my eyes, but what would the other girls think of me? Was blonde hair not cool? Was it the 'in' thing to be pale? In California, I had basically blended into the scenery like a wallflower. I looked like almost every other girl there with my blonde, shoulder length hair and blue eyes. I had always been petite and had absolutely no chest or butt, which didn't really help me in a small beach town. I was nothing to look at in a bikini, so most of the male crowd there barely gave me more than one glance.

Eventually, I gave up trying to fit 'in' with the cool kids back home. I took up shopping for retro or vintage clothes instead of the latest fashion; added pink streaks to my hair when it was cool to be bleached blonde, and I never said or did what people thought I should. I was a free-spirit and I was okay with that - but what would Forks think of me?

Of course my personal pink streak fad soon grew out, and I was satisfied to merely mix in my retro or vintage clothing pieces with modern ones. For years, I had struggled with fitting in at school that now I just...didn't care anymore. Though I was a little different, I had learnt to accept myself for who I was.

But how would I fare in Forks?

I got ready for bed in a daze, still trying to calm my fears about being the new girl at school the next day. I had no idea what to expect from the kids here. It was the beginning of January, and everyone would be returning from winter break tomorrow. All I had to do was get through six months of school, and then I would be free for an entire summer. I hoped to at least make a friend or two before that, or I would be miserable.

Tucking myself in, I inhaled deeply and tried to look at the bright side; I was starting over. How many people got that chance?

"Here goes nothing," I muttered to myself before falling asleep.

"Yes. I left California for Forks voluntarily."

I watched as the girl from my English class leaned back in her library chair, her dark eyebrows still halfway up her forehead.

"Claire, relax. I left Arizona."

"Yes," she hissed to her friend. "Something I still can't figure out."

Regan turned to me and gave a shrug. "Sometimes you just need a change," she said casually. I nodded gratefully, giggling at Claire. Regan and Claire were both in my English class, and had thankfully offered to let me be a part of their group project with another boy. They were one person short anyway, and I was in no position to be picky about who was in my group. I was just happy someone had talked to me.

"These are all I could find. We might need to hit the library in Port Angeles," Zeke said, dropping a stack of heavy books on the table with a thump. I glanced up at the russet-skinned Native boy as he grinned down at me before plopping down in his chair.

"Easy Zeke, or you're gonna break the whole library," Claire quipped. I giggled and grabbed one of the thick volumes he had dug out of the shelves about Shakespeare. We had to propose a topic for a research paper by Friday, and it was going to total up to a fourth of our overall grade. The teacher had given us a bit of a break since I was new, so my group was more than happy to take me in.

"Hey. I'm a big boy - so what?" he laughed, tossing his head to brush the hair out of his eyes. I looked over at Regan, and caught her staring at him as he joked and annoyed Claire.

"These books are all his biography. We know where he was born and all that crap. We need to look at some of his actual work. Come on Tweedle Dee, let's go back to the right section," Claire said, grabbing his shirt. Zeke hoisted himself up once again and took off toward the books. I couldn't help but laugh at the group of people who had politely asked me to join them at lunch time.

Instead of an awkward first day eating by myself in a bathroom stall, they had allowed me to sit with them and gave me an animated lowdown on all of our teachers. Luckily, Forks High School was small and by some stroke of good luck, I was able to sit next to or near one of them in all my scheduled classes. We had spent lunch talking about teachers, the other students, and what there was to do in Forks. By now, I felt like I already had a small group of friends and had completely skipped the awkward new girl phase.

Regan immediately turned to me and smiled warmly. "So. How's the first day going?"

"Oh...lots of new stuff to remember. But Forks High is a lot smaller than what I'm used to, so it's not as bad as I thought it would be. It's nice to have people to sit with at lunch too."

"Oh sure!" she said happily. "I was the new girl not long ago, so I know how you feel. It's not a problem. Zeke will probably like having someone else in the group to take some of Claire's wrath off of him."

"Yeah," I laughed. "She gives him an awfully hard time. He seems so nice."

"He is. He's like our pet," she joked, twirling her pencil in her hand.

"Yeah, um...he's not bad to look at either."

She turned a little red as she bit her lip. "He's not the only one."

I leaned forward. "So...there's more where he came from?"

She nodded. "The guys from La Push are all...Native Quileute, tanned, muscular and gorgeous. You'd swear it was something in the water."

"Really?" I whispered quietly, quirking an eyebrow up. I grinned to myself as I flipped absently through a book. Maybe moving to Forks wouldn't be so bad after all.

"Yeah. Claire's best friend is Quil. He's older and I know she has a crush on him, she just won't admit it. Oh, you won't...tell her I told you, right?"

I shrugged. "Secret's safe with me. What about you? I saw you eyeing our friend Zeke here," I laughed.

She shook her head, turning a new shade of red. "No, um...not at all. He actually looks like a younger version of my friend Seth, and..." she trailed off, her cheeks positively burning by now. "Never mind."

"Hey, it's okay. I won't say anything. Back in California, I had a crush on every other surfer guy that passed my way. I folded polos and swim trunks after school in a surf shop, so believe me - I get it. The hot, older, unattainable guy...been there."

She looked at me incredulously. "But...you're blonde and gorgeous. Were they blind?"

I giggled. "So was every other girl in that state."

Regan nodded and gave me an impressed look. "You're a novelty in Washington!" she laughed. "Take advantage of it. At least Claire gets the same amazing skin as all the guys from La Push. She's Makah, another Native tribe from around here. I swear, between the perfect hair, and permanently flawless skin and eyes...it's difficult to be around so many pretty people," she laughed.

"I agree. So...this Seth guy...do you like him?"

She bit her lip and shrugged, playing with the eraser on her pencil. "I mean...he's my best friend. He's actually my uncle's step son. I'm not blood related to him," she assured me. "He's...a lot older though."

I nodded. "Ah. Well...you'll grow. Maybe you'll get lucky and he'll wait for you," I laughed. We continued to talk and share stories until Claire came stomping back with Zeke in tow. Dumping another pile of books on the table, she huffed and began delegating tasks to each one of us. As I worked, I couldn't help but feel like I had met my new best friends.

By Friday of that week, I knew Regan, Claire, and Zeke were definitely going to be my closest friends in Forks. We ate lunch together every day, sat by each other in classes, and had met almost every night that week to work on our project at the local diner. We weren't getting much work done, but we were becoming fast friends.

I peeked out the window as my mom talked on the other end of the line, wrinkling my nose as I realized it was still raining. Pressing my fingers onto my temple, I tried to pay attention to what my mom was saying without getting annoyed. I had only been gone a little over a week and she was already begging me to come home. As if supporting my dad wasn't enough, I now have a group of friends who were closer to me than any friend I had back home.

There wasn't a chance in hell I was going back to California.

"I just miss you. Grant and Dylan miss you. Grant even asked about you today."

"I...he did?"

"Yeah. He asked when sissy was coming home."

"Tell him I'll come home again sometime this summer."

My mother sighed heavily. I could tell that I hadn't given her the answer she wanted. "Lexi, Forks is not the place for you. Let dad be who he is and allow him to get settled in, and then maybe you can visit."

"Mom, I'm not visiting. I'm not leaving either. I live here now. I really wish you would...I don't know...be okay with that."

"Lex..."

"Mom, Dad needs me right now. Please?"

She sighed heavily into the receiver, pulling at my heart. "I just miss my little girl."

"Yeah, but you have two others at home," I jokingly pointed out. I hated it when things got sad and serious. I just wanted everyone to be happy and get along, but my mom was making my decision even harder than it already was.

"It doesn't work that way baby. Not with your kids," she sighed.

"I know," I offered. "But I want to be here. Can't you at least let me try it out?"

"Oh Lex. You always were my little daredevil. I guess I can. How's...Ian?"

I frowned as my mother referred to my dad by his name. She usually just called him 'Dad' or 'Pops'. "Um...he's...good. Fine. Eh...do you like totally hate him now?"

"No, of course I don't. This is hard on all of us, him included. This whole arrangement will just take some getting used to."

And so my life continued in Forks. I spent more and more time with Claire and Regan, and Zeke when his schedule would allow. He had a part-time job on the reservation that kept him pretty busy. He would always get calls at weird times and have had to leave, but we still enjoyed his company nonetheless.

Getting to know them was refreshing; I had known all of my friends back home since kindergarten, and it was the same old superficial drama all the time. I realized now that I didn't really know those girls at all. We talked, sure, but we didn't really get to know each other at a deeper level. Claire and Regan were different. I said things and they just listened. They didn't clamour for airtime like the Californian girls or care that I was a huge goofy dork who always said the wrong thing at the wrong time.

"Okay, now I get it," I said, exhaling loudly. Claire closed the front door of her house, looking over her shoulder with an evil grin.

"Get what?" she asked innocently.

I shared an incredulous look with Regan. "Um, the reason you drool over these local guys. Holy shit!" I giggled.

"You are such a screwball. Quil and I are just friends," Claire insisted as she brushed past us.

I snorted with Regan as we followed her into the kitchen. Quil had just left after giving us a ride home from our chick flick of choice. He had driven us to Port Angeles and even joined us for the movie. I couldn't help but sneak glances at him as he sat next to Claire, looking perfectly content. She mentioned that he was her babysitter. But I couldn't help but wonder...Who the hell had a babysitter that looked like that?

Quil was the definition of tall, dark, and handsome. He was also a saint to Claire, who I absolutely loved, but could definitely be a handful at times. Maybe that was why I liked her. Like me, she was free-spirited and honest, always speaking what was on her mind. Regan was a little different; she was quiet and a little more introspective, but just as silly as I was when it got down to it.

In short, the two of them were quickly becoming my best friends.

Claire ripped open the cookie dough she had pulled from the fridge and handed each of us a spoon. They dug in immediately and hey...if someone hands me a spoon and opens some cookie dough, I'm not going to ask questions.

"Cookie dough...this must be serious," Regan muttered, raising an eyebrow.

"Who said anything about Quil? I just wanted some sugar after all that salty popcorn. Regan looked at me and we both tried not to laugh too hard.

"Um, Claire...no one said anything about Quil."

"Whatever," she snapped, stabbing her spoon into the dough. "I just...he makes me so angry!"

"Why?"

"I just...I never know how to act around him. I mean, tonight was like a date, right?"

"Um, if I got a guy like that I wouldn't exactly bring friends along. I'd want him to myself in a dark alley," I laughed, taking a large bite.

She rolled her eyes and huffed to herself, taking another large bite of the sugary dough. We ate in silence for a few minutes before Regan finally spoke again.

"Claire, I know you like Quil. I know you have for a long time. I know because...you kinda look at him the same way I do Seth."

I listened carefully as Regan talked about her feelings for her older best friend Seth. Did I mention that he too was older, hotter, and completely charming and nice? I didn't know why these La Push boys were so hot, but to say I was chomping at the bit for my own was an understatement. How did these high school girls get these gorgeous older guys as best friends? And how did I obtain one?

"What are you worried will happen?" I asked curiously, glancing over at Claire.

She shrugged in response, trying her best not to look annoyed. "I just wish he would pay attention to me the way I want him to. Not like a kid he has to chaperone. He's been my friend since I was a kid and now...it's just weird to be around him. Suddenly he's not just Quil, you know?"

I nodded, trying my best to be understanding. I didn't understand what the problem was - he was her friend, he was always around, he was sweet and supportive. I guess she was worried that he'd find someone else his own age he would rather spend time with, but he didn't seem to want to be anywhere but by her side.

"I don't get it," I whispered to Regan when Claire went up to take a shower. I guessed she didn't really need a shower as much as she wanted a chance to clear her head. "Quil seems like he's totally into hanging out with her. What makes her think he's going to go out and adopt some horny twenty something to be his girlfriend? He seems happy right where he is. I don't get why she's doing all this freaking out...I mean...if it ain't broke, don't fix it."

Regan laughed, leaning across the counter to dip her spoon in the chocolate ice cream we had added to the mix. She topped it with some cookie dough and pondered my question as she ate. "Well...that's one thing you'll learn about Claire. She has to be in control or she kinda freaks. I mean, you know how OCD she is. Quil makes her feel sorta...I don't know...I guess like she isn't the one driving."

"I get it. I still go with my original thought though."

"Right," she chuckled. "I don't disagree with the 'if it ain't broke' theory. But Claire is Claire and she'll freak out if she wants to."

"What about you? Are you worried about the same thing with Seth?"

She shrugged. "He's my friend...nothing else. I'm not worried he'll..." she trailed off, getting a distant look in her eyes.

"Regs?"

"What?"

"You were saying?"

"I guess I kinda gave myself away there. Ulgh," she cringed. "I just...I shouldn't care if Seth wants to date. I shouldn't...but...I know I do."

"You can't control who you like...or love," I said firmly. "I would know that as well as anyone," I added, my thoughts drifting to my dad and his partner. The life they had chosen wasn't an easy one, but I knew it made them happy.

"Well...you'll have to come to the bonfire with us sometime and check out these La Push guys for yourself," she said, giving me a wink.

I giggled and took another bite of our sweet concoction. "I just might."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Doghouse

Brady

I kicked at a stone, watching with satisfaction as it flew in front of me nearly a hundred feet. Sometimes being supernatural brought simplistic joys along with it, and being good at almost anythingwas one of them.

"I hope Emily brought hot dogs...and chili...oh, and that mouth-watering melty cheese...I've been craving a chili-dog like crazy," Astin muttered beside me. I gave his arm a shove and watched him chuckle.

"You're always craving something. You're worse than me, Jesus," I grumbled, walking the short path to the beach.

"Yeah, but Emily knows the difference between good food and poor food," he argued, shaking his head at me.

"Poor food?"

"Yeah. You know, like the stuff you can afford to buy eighteen packages of even if you only have a dollar. Instant Ramen, Easy Mac, and all that rubbery tasting junk. Poor food."

I shook my head at my younger pack mate and felt a small pang of pity for him and his twin brother as we walked. Astin and his twin brother Aden were not known for being down on their luck and whining about their situation. It couldn't be easy to eat like a horse when you were as piss poor as they were, and that was one of the few things he had said that even came close to a complaint. The twins were good-natured for the most part and had decent heads on their shoulders for a couple of knuckleheads.

"Stop bitching," his brother muttered, mimicking my rock kicking behind me.

"I wasn't bitching. I was just sayin'," Astin laughed.

I hung my head as I walked with them to the beach. The two boys didn't have much of a home life; their mom died giving birth to them, and their father worked third shift at the local factory to make ends meet. He had rarely been around while they were growing up, so he had yet to notice that his two sixteen-year-old twin sons were gone most nights, doubling as werewolves for the last two years.

Feeling sorry for them, I had the twins hired as construction workers at my dad's company. It wasn't long before they started hanging around my house a lot, mooching food and companionship. You can't say I didn't feel bad for their lack of familial love though - I did. However, there wasn't anything more I could do for them other than what I already had. I knew they weren't ones to accept pity orcharity.

Honestly, they never had much to compare anything with. Their life had been food stamps and clothes from the goodwill since they were born. The good news was - neither of them were stupid; in fact, they were actually pretty witty guys that made me laugh sometimes, even when I didn't want to. They were annoying at times, however, as they tend to follow me around like lost puppies. Wolves my ass.

We walked the rest of the sandy path in amicable silence, all of us picturing Emily's famous campfire chili-dogs at that point. I hated to stereotype our pack mom of sorts into a simple pack cook, but...she was awesomeat it.

It was bonfire night; we had a major pack bonfire every spring, summer, and fall, and tonight was the first one we had thrown in a while. It had been a cold winter, and while we didn't mind the temperatures in the forties and fifties, some of the imprints certainly did. Luckily for us, this day in late March was almost perfect. The temperature had climbed up to almost seventy that day, which was uncharacteristic for La Push in the spring. The local high schools were also out for spring break this week, and I was hoping to take advantage of some of the local schoolgirls who might be attending the bonfire. My last tryst had been an entire month ago, and I was itching to find myself something warm and female to pursue tonight.

I'm such a dog, I thought with a laugh.

A couple of weeks had also passed since I last saw my parents. When I did go over to visit my mom, I made sure my dad was out of the house first. However, that was getting harder and harder to do, so I had just avoided the house altogether. I had laundry piled up to my ceiling, and I hadn't eaten a hot meal since the night I fought with my dad. I had seen him from afar a few times at work, but I wasn't about to cave and talk to him nicely first.

He had to come to me.

We made our way to the beach where the bonfire was just starting to take shape. I helped the twins unload a truckload of wooden pallets from the back of a truck before dousing it with lighter fluid. We laughed and jumped back as the flames erupted, lighting the beach up with its bright light.

"No matter what age you guys are, you all seem to be pyromaniacs," Emily quipped, carrying a cooler over to the picnic table. I smirked at her and went to grab the other one out of Sam's truck. "Oh, being nicetoday, Brady?" she asked with a bright smile.

"I'm never nice. I'm just less...mean. I may be an ass, but I do have a mother who taught me manners," I laughed, setting it down on the bench. "Besides...it's not the ladies I'm ever mean to. In fact...I'm known for being pretty nice to them," I added with a charming smirk and a wink.

"Such a charmer," she laughed, brushing the sand from her hands. "Don't let my husband see you flirting with me like that. You'll be grinning at me with a few less of those straight white teeth."

"Hey now," I joked, "I love you Emily, but I know you're spoken for."

"Good," she chuckled. I helped her set up the rest of the food, grinning at her when she rewarded me with a brownie. I stuffed it into my mouth and thanked her, wandering off to find myself a cold beer. I found one soon enough, cracking it open and taking a long sip. I wanted tonight to just be fun and relaxing. We usually had a good time at pack bonfires that weren't tribe meetings. None of the elders would show up until later, and on nights like tonight they wouldn't tell the long, serious stories. Instead, they would tell some of the lighter, funnier ones about our tribe and its history.

Nice and light. That was the theme of tonight. Forget about my arrogant father and just have fun.I sighed, crunching the already empty beer can against my palm. I would have to keep myself somewhat in check tonight; I was due to start the new side job my dad had lined up for me the next morning. As much as I wanted to flounce it just to piss him off, I knew that the money would be nice, and besides, Ian wasn't too bad. He was an architect that had just moved back here from California and was actually a pretty laid-back guy. He was the architect for the project we were working on full time, and he seemed to be alright - I figured doing some side work for him wouldn't be too bad of a deal. I had spent the last few months going over the cost of materials and sketches with him before we finally struck up an agreement on the construction of his new garage. He lived on the edge of Forks in what I'm sure was a nice house; I was just happy he had agreed to pay me the amount I had asked for on the first bid.

As darkness fell over First Beach, I watched as more and more of my pack brothers showed up, most of them with imprints in tow.

Suckers.

None of those imprinted fools belonged to themselves anymore. I bet they didn't even know why they were so happy. Something in their genes told them they were content to be in the company of some girl and bam! and so it was.

Walking over to get a fresh beer, I narrowly avoided Seth and his imprint, Regan. I had slept with her one night at a party, only to have Seth imprint on her hours later. That was my first mistake. Looking back, it had been an asinine thing to do. Honestly, she was a nice girl. Petite, curvy, long dark hair and amazing eyes...I'd be lying if I said she wasn't my type. Physically she was exactly the type of girl I normally went for so when she wandered into my party last year...I did. She had been a little wild when she first moved to Forks, and I admit I had taken advantage of her. When she showed up at my party last year, she was sweet and quiet and more than a little lost. I liked her immediately. However, I had inevitably allowed my asshole side to take over after more than my share of alcohol, and we ended up sleeping together an hour later. Then about five second after that, she left my room after I said something awful to her and Seth had imprinted on her.

Talk about an 'oh shit' moment.

Needless to say, Seth was not my biggest fan when he found out. Not that I blamed him - I deserved every ounce of wrath he threw my way. I was angry with myself for being such an ass to her, but of course, I took it out on her instead of myself. I had tried avoiding Regan like the plague for the last six months, but I knew I was bound to run into her sooner or later. Well, I did. And true to form...I behaved like an asshole to her. One snide comment directed her way that day had prompted Seth to attempt to rearrange my face with his fist. I wanted to keep all my teeth tonight, so I knew they would be the couple to avoid.

"Quit sulking," I chided Embry, who was slumped over the picnic table. He growled low in his chest, his dark eyes burning into mine with a menacing look.

"Touchy touchy," I grumbled, giving him a slap on the shoulder. I sat down next to him and grabbed a hot dog, jamming it onto a stick and holding it over the fire. "Want one?"

He shrugged in response, grunting something quietly. I shook my head and roasted my hot dog, pitying him. I hoped I would never look that miserable because of a girl.

"Starving yourself won't make her come back dude," I said to him.

He grumbled something incoherent and looked the other way.

Wrinkling my nose, I turned toward a strange new scent on the beach. I could pick up the scent of a variety of cologne and perfume worn by the attendees and even the heady scent of lighter fluid as it burned with the driftwood and pallets. However...this was quiet different. Like brown sugar mixed with...green apples?

Yes, definitely apples,I decided.

What on earth was that?

I stood up from the picnic bench, jamming the handle of the stick I was using to roast a hot dog into Embry's confused hand. I barely noticed anything else as I walked toward the scent, my eyes wide and my brain drawing a complete blank. It was a sweet smell, not like a vampire or anything - yet I had never smelled anything like it.

My ears listened carefully as I wove in and out of the crowd that was huddled around the bonfire, listening for anything that could be off. My pack brothers gave me some strange looks as I moved around them with wide eyes. A couple of the younger guys were staring at someone across the fire, but the large flames kept me from seeing what they were all gawking at.

I spied Quil's imprint, Claire, and we met eyes. "Incoming," she coughed under her breath. My heart sped up as I realized she was not just standing with Regan but also someone else. Someone small, blonde...and...laughing...and...

I felt like someone had pulled a rug out from underneath my feet. My heart stopped in my chest only to resume beating with a new purpose. The breaths that left and entered my chest were now not just for me...but also for her. I felt myself drawn toward her like I was a starving man, and she was a feast. A feast I had waited twenty-four years for.

My body moved toward her on its own accord. Turn around...turn around...turn around, I silently begged. Ignoring Claire and Regan's incredulous stares, I moved around to the front of her so that I could get a good look.

Bright blue eyes greeted my own. Walking closer and closer, I blew off the surprise that registered in them as I unwittingly moved too close to her, encroaching into her personal space. I was probably freaking her out, but...I just had to be near her. The draw was inexplicable, and nothing from my shared pack memories with the other wolves could have prepared me for how I finally felt after letting my eyes rest on her, just seconds before.

My imprint.

My...wait, what was her name?

The melodic tone coming from her mouth stopped mid-sentence as her eyes widened and her tan cheeks reddened slightly. Her small, pear-shaped face turned to shock and then confusion as I stood in front of her with my hand out.

Take my hand. Touch me. Just please...take my hand, and tell me your name.

"Um, hi?" she asked, her gaze curious.

I felt a dopey smile cover my face as she spoke, her first words directed at me. She was talking to me. I took a deep breath of her fresh, sugar-laced green apple scent.

"I'm Brady," I offered, sticking my hand closer to her. She looked down at it in surprise, her blue eyes a little shocked.

She was breathtaking. Her small, pixie-like features stayed a bit confused as she took my hand in hers and shook it. A warm jolt of pleasant shock ran up my arm, encasing my heart with it's steely cables. I felt everything melt away as her skin molded to mine; my hatred for who I was, my loyalty to my pack, and my frustration toward my father. Nothing else mattered.

Nothing but her.

Claire's harsh whisper broke through my trance, waking me up. "Is he on drugs or what?" she hissed to Regan. Regan shrugged, her eyes wide as she stared at me. But I didn't care.

Like I said...nothing else mattered now. I had imprinted. With an invisible hand, this girl...this blonde angel...reached out and put a stranglehold on my heart. Her sparkling blue eyes reached into my soul and put it into a vice grip that wouldn't budge. Ever. It was so strange...I had just met this girl, yet I knew I would do anything...be anything - for her. This feeling easily trumped any of the previous feelings I had chased in the past with just one simple blink of her long eyelashes - being high, being drunk, getting off - nothing compared to seeing her smile.

"I'm Lexi," the Goddess finally spoke. I felt my knees get a little wobbly as she released my hand and gave me a little nose wrinkle. "And you are...Brady?"

Perfection.

I felt myself nod as her eyes turned downward, flicking to Regan who was still standing there, dumbfounded.

"Um...nice to meet you. You're pretty nice...for a jerk," she replied, sitting back on her hip. Her arms crossed in a defiant motion. I felt my stomach plummet out of my ass as I stood there in shock.

Fuck.

My jaw dropped open as I took in her change of stance and demeanor. Her sweet, charming little voice had taken on a harsh tone and her eyes narrowed. She was pissed.

"I...I..."

Fuck!

I could barely form words as I stood in front of her, rooted to the ground. What the hell was I supposed to do now?Her eyebrow moved in another menacing mannerism before she opened her mouth to spew more poison at me.

"No, you listen here, jerk. I know who you are, and you're a pathetic excuse for a man. You mess with my friends, you mess with me. Like I wouldn't figure out which 'Brady' you are. Psh! Nice try. Now go back to the sewer you crawled out of, you atrocious rat!"

People stopped and stared, conversations halting and all eyes on us. I felt my face go slack as my imprint doled out what was surely a deserving, man-hating proverbial slap in the face. She had verbally handed my ass back to me and called me by what I was - a rat. I felt my heart shattering into pieces as I realized my imprint hated me to the core.

"Um...um..." I still couldn't speak. What do you say after someone says something like that to you, your imprint no less?

"That's right," she snapped quickly, giving me a stern looking once-over. "Get lost. No dogs allowed."  
That was all I could handle as my stomach started churning badly. I turned away, my face flushed with heat and embarrassment. My heart was pounding in my ears, but all I could hear were her final words as I stumbled away.

"No, Regan. You told me how he is. I wouldn't want anything to do with him. Ever!"

So that was it. She never wanted anything to do with me. My own stupid actions had alienated me from her before we had ever even met. This was irony at its worst. I felt sick to my stomach as I pushed past my pack brothers, who were now staring at me with concern etched on their faces. I felt my breathing increase as the conscious part of my brain tried to keep me from phasing right there on the beach. I stumbled up the dark path, my throbbing heart so utterly shattered that I was barely able to put one foot in front of the other.

Angry, vicious heat seared up my veins making my spine tremor and quake. I clenched my fists as I jogged up the path from the beach, my vision so red I could barely see straight. I was powerless now; rage was going to make the wolf burst forth without my consent, something that hadn't happened to me since I was past the stage of a young newly phased wolf. I burst into wolf form, feeling the change sinking into my bones. The feeling that usually soothed me did nothing this time. I was completely inconsolable and at the mercy of my tumultuous emotions.

My imprint hated me. I had done this to myself; the price of being an uncaring asshole was now staring in my face. And what's worse, I deserved it.

Of course she hates me, I thought bitterly.

My own selfish actions that had driven me to use Regan were now coming around to bite me in the ass - again. As if getting my face rearranged by Seth wasn't bad enough, I now had to live with the idea that my imprint hated me because of what I had done.

I couldn't blame her - she had every right to. I was a dog in every sense of the word. The irony didn't escape me as I ripped through the forest, seeing red at every turn. This anger was so different! I usually had someone to blame it on, someone else to point the finger at. But no...I could only be upset with myself. I had done this. I was the reason that beautiful girl despised me.

I slid to a halt at the cliffs spying the bonfire below, several miles down the beach. Taking a few deep breaths of the salty air, I tried my best to calm down and breathe. I would never be able to phase back at this point - I couldn't remember being so fucking pissed off.

Nothing sucks more than knowing you're the person who caused your own misery.

I take that back - wanting someone you just met so badly was horrible too. I didn't even know why I liked her so much. My genes told me that she was the one for me. They reminded me of that by making my chest ache badly with a gut-twisting pull back toward the beach.

No! I thought. I wouldn't give into it. I wouldn't do it.

But I wanted her.

Mine.

Growling, I slid to the ground with a thump. Jared was the wolf with the best eyesight, and I wished I had his gift right now. Squinting my wolf eyes, I tried my best to locate her on the sandy shore a few miles away. Fuck.I couldn't see a thing. Why couldn't I have just kept my cool and stayed put? At least then I could have watched her some more. Maybe learned some more about her. But no. I had to run away in a huff like the little pussy I was.

Fuck me.

I woke up the next morning on the forest floor. I had been so pissed off the night before that I couldn't calm down enough to phase back. Just that fact alone still had me reeling. This girl hated me like poison, yet she had complete control over me! I had lost all power over myself and I hated it.

Standing up, I slowly trudged the distance back to my house. The pre-dawn light illuminated the forest as I slid from the bushes into the unkempt yard. I phased back with a grunt, sliding onto two legs with ease. After a quick shower and a bowl of cereal that made me queasy, I was on my way to work.

Because no matter how fucking pissed I was, this architect still needed his fucking carriage house.

I drove over to the address that was scratched on yesterday's gas station coffee cup, navigating down the winding lane. I came across a charming colonial style home that sat on a large plot of land. The house looked like someone had picked it up and plopped it together with the yard into the dense Olympic forest. It was recently renovated judging by the stark white siding and black shutters that practically shined even in the foggy morning light. A makeshift carport had been set up on the side of the house, and I guessed this was where my work was going to start.

I jumped out of my old truck and rang the doorbell, faking a charming smile as Ian opened the door.

"Oh, Brady, good to see you," he greeted me. "I didn't expect you so early son. Well, why don't I show you where to start."

I followed him to the back of the yard where he wanted the building. With his help, I mapped out where the main building would lie, along with a sidewalk and an area on the side for additional parking. I made plans for concreting and retreated to my truck for more materials to start with the framing. I was on the side of the house surveying the lumber when I heard Ian talk again.

"Lexi, come back here and meet Brady. He'll be working on the carriage house," he said as the door opened.

Then it happened.

The breeze shifted, and suddenly, I was hit with the new yet hauntingly familiar scent of green apples and sweetness as it wafted out the door. My chest contracted as the invisible hold she already had on my heart tightened. My head jerked up and seconds later, my eyes met with the same blue eyes from the night before. My heart stopped beating for a second as I got over the shock of seeing her again.

My imprint.

"Dad, it's called a garage. What's the 'carriage house' thing about? We don't have a freaking carriage!"

I felt my face go slightly slack as she pranced out of the house in her pajama pants and tattered zip up sweatshirt, her golden hair tied up in a ponytail. She slid to a halt at the bottom of the steps only to slam into Ian's back as her eyes met mine again. I burst out laughing as she scrambled back, her blue eyes wide and expressive.

"Whoa, you alright?" he asked, wheeling around. She blushed and nodded, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"Yeah, um, fine. Sorry Dad," she offered. "Crap," she swore under her breath.

Fuck.This guy was her dad? Had she already told him everything - about how I was a dog, how I had wronged her friend, and how I had made an ass of myself at the party? I began to panic as I stopped laughing, realizing I could be in serious trouble.

I straightened up and gave him my best convincing grin as she got herself together. He gave her a cautious look before turning back to me. "This is my daughter, Alexandra," he said politely, gesturing to her.

"Lexi," she corrected, her eyes darting up to his. He nodded, shrugging at me helplessly.

"Lexi," he relented, rolling his eyes. "Anyhow, this is my daughter. If you see her poking around the house, she belongs here. Not a burglar or an axe murderer," he added, putting his arm around her and pulling her close.

"Dad," she growled under her breath.

"Oh relax pumpkin. People are nicer here - small town, remember?"

Lexi just rolled her eyes.

I smirked to myself with satisfaction. Such a feisty kitten she was.I swallowed and nodded, giving him another polite smile. I had to charm the socks off of this guy if he was going to let me anywhere near his daughter. Lexi seemed to read my thoughts. Her eyes darted up to mine as she glared at me from behind her father's shoulder. Okay, I take that back. I was going to have to charm the socks off of her if I wanted...well, anything.

"Brady will be building our carriage house for the next ten weeks," he explained over his shoulder, gesturing to the area I had already mapped out.

"It will take him that long?" she quipped, crossing her arms.

"Maybe longer," I chimed in, giving her a dazzling smile. She didn't look pleased.

"Lexi," he chided, "er, you can whip up a few sandwiches for Brady's lunch, right? Least we can do is feed the poor guy if he'll be hanging around here. Patrick and I will be in the city for the day looking at siding samples," he said. "Finding something that matches the house and can withstand all this rain and moisture at a reasonable cost will be such a chore."

The side door from what I assumed was the kitchen opened, and out came another man, this one taller with darker, wavy hair. He stopped by Lexi's father, giving him a warm smile. "Leave that to me. I have a way with dealers. We'll get that siding, and we'll get it at a fraction of the cost, you'll see."

Lexi's father rolled his eyes and turned back to me. "This is Patrick my erm...he also...lives here," he finished awkwardly. Patrick gave him a pat on the shoulder and a reassuring grin before making his way over to the small sport utility parked in the driveway.

"We'll be back before dinner, sweetie. Be good," Ian said, dropping a kiss on her temple. He patted her back before following the other man to the car. They got in, driving away with a happy wave.

"Fun place," I observed, unsure of what else to say. "Nice house, how long have you three lived here?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" she snapped, crossing her arms again. I chuckled at her fiery demeanor, already completely entertained by her sass. This girl could dish it out. I was, of course, impressed.

"Um, what's what supposed to mean? I just asked how the three of you have lived here. Not trying to get your panties in a twist."

She cocked her head and glared again, her gaze fierce. "The three of us have lived here since January, thank you. Do you have some sort of problem with our living arrangement? Because so far everyone here has been nice. Although it wouldn't surprise me if you turned out to be the first homophobic bigot."

"What? I..." Suddenly, it became clear what she meant. She lived there with those two men - one was her dad and the other was..."

"That's right," she said icily, watching as I pieced it together.

"Oh, I...I wasn't making a big deal of that. So you have two dads? That's...cool. No, I was just being...nosy, I guess. Trust me...I'm an equal opportunity asshole."

Her frown eased up, and I saw a glimmer of a smile grace her pink lips. "So you admit you're an asshole then?"

I felt my cheeks turn hot as my imprint once again put me in my place. "Uh, yeah. Shit...I...I guess. Yes, are you happy? I'm an asshole. I'm not a bigot. Especially not when it comes to...that," I said casually, picking up my shovel. Her eyes followed me as I walked over to the area we had sectioned off. I needed something to do before I talked more and really got myself into trouble.

"You can say it. Gay. My dad is gay. It's not a bad word."

"I never said it was," I laughed nervously, gripping the handle in my hands. "Like I said, I'm cool with whatever. I mean...love is love."

She rolled her eyes at my antics and shook her head, her ponytail bobbing slightly. "You don't have to be an overkill. Whatever. I'm going inside. Ring when you want lunch," she muttered, pointing to the doorbell on the side of the house. I nodded cockily, trying my best to appear cool and mysterious as she turned and went back into the house. The door slammed shut and I was left alone.

"Hmph," I grunted to myself, returning to work. My side job that had begun as a hassle had become a blessing in disguise. Now I was able to see where my imprint lived, meet and get to know her dad...dads...and most importantly, have an excuse to hang around and protect her.

I frowned at the foreign thought. I had never been possessive of a female before in my life. Wanting them was one thing - that was for sport. But needing one? The idea was completely new to me. I never needed girls. If they were around, great. But I had never been what you would call particularly 'loyal' to one - ever. Being loyal meant being open, and around, and...dependable. That was never something I was good at. Because once you opened yourself up to something like that, bad things always happened. I had seen it before - once you expose yourself to another human being...you're just that. Exposed. Open. Waiting to be hurt. Rejected.

I wanted no part of that.

I grunted as I speared the earth with my shovel, digging the hole for the footings. I didn't want an imprint, but now that I had one, I understood how the pull to her would be hard to resist. Did I even want to? If I gave into the imprint, I thereby gave that girl inside that house the right to practically own my body and soul. I couldn't deny her. I could, but I had witnessed firsthand the pain and utter discomfort that could cause a wolf.

Fuck me.I was dammed if I did and damned if I didn't.

If I rejected the imprint - and we all knew what a fucking joke that idea was - then I would suffer. A lot. On the other hand, if I threw myself at this girl and tried my best to woo her - which I would suck at because I'm a self-admitted asshole - she would ultimately reject me and break my heart. Then I would be hurt and exposed for all to see. Everything would be laid out. And I would be totally humiliated.

I didn't want either.

Turmoil raged inside my chest as I furiously dug at the ground before me. I didn't know what I wanted from this girl, but my genes told me I wanted her. Or was it my mind too? And my heart?

Before long, I had worked myself into a sweat. Without thinking, I tore my t-shirt off and threw it onto the ground. A few hours of work rolled past as I mulled the pros and cons around in my mind. I hadn't gone very far when I felt a pulling sensation in my chest. I paused, glancing up at the side of the house only to see a curtain fluttering on the second floor.

Aha! She was watching me. I fought back a smug grin as I stretched out my back, making sure that I was showing off my ripped ab muscles. Yeah, that's right, I thought, come to daddy.

Daddy.

Daddies.

Lexi had two dads.

I frowned at my own thoughts and shook my head, trying not to think too much into that. Her having two fathers didn't bother me; I had told her the truth when I said I was no homophobic bigot. I wasn't. The only thing that upset me was that I was usually better at charming women because well...I won't lie, I'm a good looking male. Moms usually took pretty well to me. I was intimidated by two dads. That was one more dad than usual to charm, sweet talk, and win over.

With a quiet growl to myself I turned my head up to the sky, momentarily cursing whatever magic had bound me to this girl. At least imprinting was living up to its name so far - it was final, it was binding, and of course - it was never easy.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Jell-O

Lexi

The only thing worse than a guy certified as an asshole, was a guy that was both an asshole and so good looking that it kinda made you want to lick him.

Yeah. That's where I was at with Brady.

I woke up the next morning to the sound of Brady, working diligently on my father's garage in the yard below. I was currently watching him as he worked, practically salivating as his tan body arched and stretched with his movements. I had opened my eyes that morning and felt a pull towards the window; it was strange really, but I just chalked it up to my ever dwindling sanity.

What was I thinking?

I was crushing on the bad boy.

The boy no girl should ever like.

The boy that was guaranteed to break a heart.

The boy that had already done so to my best friend.

But as I watched him work, I seemed to forget every bit of information I knew about Brady.

He had torn the sleeves off of his t-shirt, exposing the sinewy, should-be-illegal muscles of his side.

Mmmm, I muttered to myself, letting my bedroom curtain fall closed again. Brady was below, on the side of the house starting work on our garage. For a jerk like him, he was definitely not hard to look at. At all. These are times when I felt that life simply wasn't fair. Somepeople get all the luck.

"Bad, bad, bad," I grumbled, picking up my cell phone. I hit Regan's number and waited as the phone rang on the other end. It was Saturday morning, and last night had been my first bonfire in La Push. It was great; the shores, the smell of the ocean surf, all reminded me of the home I'd left behind. And of course, I was surrounded by the hot local guys.

Too bad the only one that caught my attention was Brady.

Brady.

Why couldn't it have been anyone else but him? I wrinkled my nose and covered my eyes with my hand in defeat. Brady was so off limits it wasn't even funny! Regan had trusted me and told me about him and...here I was, drooling over him as he worked shirtless in my driveway. The pull...no, the urgeto watch him work was magnetic and almost impossible to resist.

"Hello?"

"I have an emergency."

Regan groaned on the other end of the line, and there was a great rustling of bedding as she dragged herself upright. "It had better be an emergency. What time is it?"

"Like eight. Whatever, just...um, Brady is totally in my backyard right now digging a hole."

"Who did he kill?" Regan quipped groggily.

I rolled my eyes and huffed. "Regan!"

"Too early," she grumbled again. "What are you saying now?"

"Brady is in my backyard, digging a hole."

She grunted. "I heard you the first time, but it still doesn't make any sense. What the heck is he doing there though?"

"My fathers hired him to build our garage. Can you believe it? And then they left, and now...now I have to make him lunch! I'm alone with him," I groaned, walking back over to the window. My feet dragged against the fluffy carpet in protest, but I still found myself gripping the edge of the window and staring with an open mouth at the view below.

And there he was, hot as always. Damn it! If it wasn't tempting enough already.

"Just ignore him."

"What about lunch?"

"Toss him some dog food and lock the doors?" she suggested.

I giggled. "Nice. My dad would kill me if I was that rude."

"Yeah, good point."

I sighed into the phone and snuck another peek at the deliciousness in my driveway.

"Well...at least you made a hot mistake Regan. Sheesh, that guy is pure muscle!"

"I know. Ulgh. Trust me though...bad news. Unless..."

"No, no, he's...not my type," I lied, laughing nervously. Of course he wasn't my type. I didn't even have a type back home. Okay fine – invisible. There. That was my type. Compared to the tall, blonde California girls back home I was a nobody.

"Well, 'hot' doesn't have to fall into a type," she pointed out.

I laughed. "Although seeing him now, I can't say that I blame you for your lapse in judgment."

"I'd also had about eight beers in the time of one hour. Don't suggest trying that," she muttered.

"Right," I agreed. "But he must have been nice at some point though, wasn't he?"

"The whole night is fuzzy to be honest. Look Lex, just ignore him. Eventually, he'll go away, right?"

"Right. I just wish he wasn't standing shirtless in my backyard."

"Ulgh, he's a snake," Regan muttered.

"I believe you. Ulgh, why do snakes have to come in such appealing packages?"

Regan giggled. "It's like...guy law. Almost all the smoking hot ones are either gay or complete dicks."

I laughed at her words before bidding her goodbye. She wished me luck and probably went back to bed. Meanwhile, I was left with a huge dilemma on my hands. I wanted to avoid him...but for some reason I could not. I was torn. What on earth was I going to do now? Reaching up, I twisted the end of my ponytail.

With shaky hands, I walked over to the window once again and pulled the curtain back. He was still digging shirtless, and I couldn't help but drool over him. A streak of anger entered my thoughts. What was I thinking? Brady hurt my best friend, I can't keep letting myself do this.Feeling like I had betrayed Regan, I decided that was the last drool I would allow myself.

"Don't be a freak," I whispered, trying to get my wits about me again. Lifting my chin up in the air, I gave his back my best determined glare. I would not fall for 'Asshole Brady' as I had nicknamed him. So what if he was hot? That didn't mean a damn thing. He had treated my friend badly, and that, in my book, was the biggest character flaw a person could ever have. I needed to get control over myself and not be a blubbering little idiot like I usually was in front of a hot guy.

Reaching for the door to my bathroom, I considered showering and putting on decent clothes, maybe a bit of makeup. No!I decided. If I didn't care, then what was the use of getting dressed up? Or even applying deodorant for that matter? If I really didn't care then...well, I couldn't look like I did.

With my new outlook, I stared out the window one last time at him. Who the hell was he anyway? Certainly no one special. Just some guy. So this is me not caring one bit. Oh god, does he have a six pack or an eight pack? His muscles just go on forever, I thought. Just as I bit my lip with lust, he turned and looked upward in the direction of my window. Does he have telepathy now, too?I thought with horror as I squeaked and jumped away, letting it fall back into place. Seeing the curtain close gave me a false sense of security as I fought to slow my racing heart.

I needed to get control. Fast.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Several hours later, I was leaning on the kitchen counter trying to maintain my 'I don't give a shit who you are' facade. I was debating doing my chemistry homework, which I knew would be a joke anyway since I had already taken that subject at my old high school. I was just starting to think of something else besides Brady when there was a knock on the side door.

I jumped, the lead in my mechanical pencil grinding down to the plastic as I doodled in the margins of my notes. Gritting my teeth, I turned to look over my shoulder.

Brady stood at the door, giving me a sultry looking wave. Trying my best to appear put out, I made my way to the door and yanked it open, turning away before he even had a chance to speak.

"Turkey and ham in the fridge...here's the bread," I said, tossing the loaf onto the counter. I walked back to the other end of the kitchen counter and pretended to pore over my chemistry notes. You could cut the silence in the air with a knife after that.

"Uh...I wasn't going to make you feed me. I can grab food after," he said quietly, giving the door a soft push. It clicked closed and I felt my heart quicken.

We were alone. In myhouse.

"So what do you want?" I heard myself ask, glancing up at him. My stomach twisted nervously as a pleasant feeling settled over my limbs. His chocolate gaze pulled me in, and I found myself anticipating what his answer would be. One look from this boy and I was like Jell-O. NO! I needed to pretend like I didn't care!

Damn it.

My inner thoughts were a blur as he slipped off his work boots and ambled into the kitchen like he owned the place. He had such a smooth, arrogant manner about him that I could see why Regan had her lapse in judgment.

Brady froze, his eyes going a little hazy like they did last night. He opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out for a few seconds.

"Uh...I just..."

"Yes?" I prodded. For a smooth and cocky bastard, he was suddenly tongue tied.

"I just...wanted to say sorry about last night."

I frowned at him. "Sorry? I was the one who called you a jerk."

His face slackened a bit from the tense expression he held, and he looked somewhat relieved. "Well, that's alright. I'm used to being classified as one of those," he answered, giving me a charming smile. He leaned on the counter across from me, giving me a nonchalant shrug.

At least he knows what he is, I thought, sitting upright.

"I'm self-aware," he explained with a knowing smirk.

"Well...good," I dished back.

He grinned. I felt my blood boil suddenly as thoughts of Regan entered my mind. This guy wasn't sorry at all. He seemed smug.

"Hey, I didn't say I didn't mean it. Regan told me all about you. You're just what I said," I maintained, giving him another stern glare.

His shoulders slumped and the smug grin faded as he shifted on his feet. "Look, I never said what I did to Regan was right," he finally said. "I'm sure Regan told you the truth about me. And you should believe her. I'm a lot of things, but I'm not a liar. She's a good girl, and...I hate myself sometimes for what I did to her."

That threw me for a loop. He was admitting I was right? I had expected more of a fight.

"Wouldn't know it," I grumbled under my breath. He wasn't making me any less angry by agreeing with me. I almost wanted him to lie, fight back...anything. But he accepted it head on. "Have you ever even apologized to her?"

His face changed and his dark eyes flashed suddenly. "Hey now, it takes two to tango. What makes her so innocent? It's not like she wasn't all over me! Besides, she got her revenge when I ran my mouth, and her boyfriend rearranged my face."

I balked, picturing sweet, docile Seth Clearwater decking Brady in the face. Something told me he must have said something to provoke him – and if he did, then...he must have deserved it for Seth to do that. "Right, well...whatever. I never said she didn't partake, but you had to do something to have a guy like Seth practically give you a new face. Am I right?"

Brady grunted, his cheeks flushed and his jaw clenched. So he was beautiful angry too.

Great.

"When did people decide that Seth walked on water?" he hissed to himself. "She told you about that? Seth punching me?"

"Yeah, why?"

"So you asked about me," he smirked suddenly, cocking his head to the side. What was his deal? I found myselfwanting to deck him.

"She's one of my best friends. Of course she told me about that. What girls don't talk about guys who have screwed them over in the past? She warned me about you, fair and square."

He threw up his hands, obviously realizing he was backed into a corner. "I get it, okay? I was a dog to Regan. What do you want from me?"

"Nothing!" I gasped, my eyes going wide. I didn't want anything from him...did I? He was clearly a self-righteous, pompous asshole. My skin flushed as his eyes raked over me, still in my pajamas and zip up hoodie. He was checking me out! How dare this ass check me out while we were fighting! My heart sped up as feelings of loathing rolled off of me. It beat furiously in my chest as I came down from our argument.

Okay, so he was an asshole. That made my heart pump double time. Like I'm the first girl to fall for a hot guy who was also, incidentally, the biggest jerk.

Sue me.

He gave me another one of his smug grins that I was quickly growing tired of. "You're hot when you're angry."

My rage boiled over at his words. "Shut up!" I spat.

Anther silence as I stewed and he rallied.

He sighed heavily. "Look, I did Regan wrong. I'm sorry."

"I'm totally not the person you should be saying that to," I said quickly.

His eyes flashed again, a mixture of anger and surprise. Was he shocked that I was challenging him? He seemed to be caught off guard that I would fight him like this. I couldn't help it – I was stubborn to a fault, and I wasn't about to change that for anyone. Always had been, always would be. I watched as his face turned even redder, and he clenched the edge of the counter as he spat his words out at me.

"Look, would you just give me a damn chance?"

"At what?" I practically shouted, crossing my arms. Our voices echoed off the kitchen walls, and I was glad we didn't have neighbors close by. Surely they would have called the cops at our loud, heated exchange.

He sighed, shaking his head and running his hand through his inky hair. He had put his t-shirt back on to come inside, but as he raised his hand to touch his head, his shirt rode up. A tiny sliver of his tan abdomen was exposed, making me quiver where I stood.

I decided then and there that I loved to hate this cocky, arrogant, asshole standing in my kitchen. I felt my chest clench as I fought to hate him even more.

"I just want to start over. Will you at least tell me your name?"

"You know my name, we just met last night," I snapped. I walked over to the refrigerator, brushing past him so that our shoulders barely touched. Another pleasant wave of, well...something rushed through me as I opened the door to grab the lunch meat. Slapping it onto the counter, I took out a few condiments and some whole wheat bread as he sputtered to himself.

"I wanted to hear you say it," he said quietly, almost under his breath. I paused, my eyes flicking up to meet his dark ones. His expression was suddenly pleading. I felt my heart melt a little. This guy made me feel like a yo-yo, full of ups and downs.

"I was hoping," he continued in a calmer voice, "that we could maybe have a fresh start."

I swallowed. If I did this...there was no doubt in my mind that I would be a goner. I would fall for him even more than I already had.

"There's your stuff. Make what you want. I'll be upstairs," I muttered, shaking my head. I tried my best to ignore the nervous butterflies in my stomach as I brushed back past him. As fast as lightning, his hand shot out and grabbed my arm. Not hard, necessarily, but firm enough to make me stop in my tracks. Whipping around, I eyed his hand and let my eyes meet his.

That was my first mistake.

I was met with orbs of liquid brown chocolate, their darkness quickly encompassing my coherent thoughts...or what was left of them. I was unable to even think of my own name as his eyes stared into mine. His fiery hand seemed to pulsate where our skin met.

"Lexi...just...just wait. I'm sorry, okay? If it means that much to you, I'll go apologize to her today – now, even."

"Why do you care so much about what I think?" I asked, my voice a shaky whisper. The energy humming between our bodies was making me dizzy.

"What will it take for you to give me another chance?" he asked, blatantly ignoring my question.

"I don't think she cares, honestly. She has other things on her mind," I insisted quietly, jerking my arm away from his hand. My mind flashed to Seth and the way Regan turned a deep shade of pink whenever he was around. With a guy like Seth around, something told me Regan didn't give a rat's ass what Brady was doing. His shoulders relaxed a bit as he let go of my arm, letting his hand fall back down to his side.

"Well...could we at least just start over?"

"Why does it matter?" I prodded, turning my head to look at him. I quickly let my eyes look anywhere but at his when he gave me a look similar to a kicked puppy. A kicked golden retriever puppy. Oh shit, I was already turning to Jell-O again.

"Well...for starters, I'm going to be here every day over your spring break. Don't you think it would be nice, uh...to get to know the help?" he asked, jokingly. He seemed to wince slightly after speaking as if he knew what he'd just said was lame.

I shrugged, trying to appear indifferent. Of course I wanted to start over with him – he was trying to be nice. However, I knew I would have to tread carefully. He was not to be trusted, and I'd rather be safe than sorry. But in a way, it felt like letting Brady in would be betraying Regan. How could I play nice with the guy that had used her once and thrown her away like it was nothing?

"I'm not sure I can do that," I admitted, still standing next to him like a dummy.

"Why not? Give me one good reason," he argued.

I opened my mouth to give him a slew of them when he sensed this and held up his hands.

"Okay, bad thing to say. Just...I want to start over. I'm not asking you to move to Antarctica. Just tell me your name."

"You know my name. You've said it," I pointed out, taking a step back. He moved towards me, mirroring my actions. His dark gaze fixed mine as he stepped even closer. Before I knew it, I was backed up against the door of the pantry, and he was standing a foot in front of me. His tall frame towered over mine as I felt my heart start racing again.

Something made him smirk.

"I just want to hear you say it, I told you."

"Um," I stuttered, "L-Lexi."

"Lexi..." he repeated, almost reverently. "I'm Brady. It's nice to meet you."

I watched his lips move as he said my name firmly, as if he was hearing it spoken for the first time. A strange look appeared in his eyes – the same dopey look from the bonfire. He straightened up as it faded, nodding.

"You're such a creep," I laughed lamely, shaking my head.

He shrugged, ignoring my comment. "Short for anything?"

I glared at him. "Alexandria. But everyone calls me Lexi. Maybe someday I'll grow into the first one," I muttered.

"Well, you are short."

"That's not what I meant."

"I know."

We exchanged playful glares. I slid away from the door, huffing under my breath. I walked back over to the kitchen island where I had put the lunchmeat. I began to fiddle with it to try to look busy. This jerk was certainly making me so nervous!

He chuckled happily, the sound ringing against the walls of the white kitchen as he followed me to where the food was.

"I'm already under your skin," he announced smugly. I glared sideways at him before putting some extra distance between us. He laughed happily again as I busied myself with some food. If there was one thing I could always do, it was eat – no matter how nervous he made me.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, never mind. Ah, care if I make a turkey club?"

"I was going to make the same thing," I admitted, opening up the bread. It's just lunch, I told myself. Nothing more. There was nothing to get excited about – he just wanted some food and so did I. I realized that I had been on tenterhooks all morning to even think about eating, and I was actually starving.

"Same sandwich...must mean we're meant to be."

I rolled my eyes. "Or it just means we both like the same kind of sandwich that I'm sure a third of the country enjoys eating," I pointed out.

"Damn girl, cut me some slack. Just trying to talk to you."

"Then don't talk to me like I'm a piece of ass. Do you even know how to talk to a real girl?"

"Um-"

"For starters, don't call me 'girl'. You made such a show of asking for my name, well...I told you and you know it. Now use it," I snapped.

"Damn..." he laughed. "You're a pistol. You hide it well. Ah well, makes sense anyway."

"What makes sense?"

"Nothing. So um...Lexi," he said pointedly, "You're from California?" he asked, opening the fridge again. He moved around like he owned the place; helping himself with the fridge contents, digging out the lettuce and tomatoes and sliding the mayo over to me like he was a professional. I microwaved some turkey bacon and toasted our bread as I spoke.

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"Your dad told me. I've worked with him every day for three months, remember?"

"Oh, right," I replied, twisting the mayo open. I began to anxiously prepare my sandwich, watching as he did the same.

"Are you...from here?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said flatly, "born and raised, never getting out I'm sure."

"You could always move. Did you go to college?"

"No," he responded in the same tone. "My job kept me here, you could say."

"Washington is nice though, right?"

He gave me an incredulous look as he stacked up the items for his sandwich. "Seriously? It rains almost every day, and it's only warm four months out of the entire year. Most of the state is covered in moss. I dunno, doesn't seem like the most logical place for a California beach girl to be happy in."

I felt my blood boil for the second time that day. "Don't assume."

"Well?"

"For your information, I'm not a beach bum. Why does everyone who doesn't live in California think that all we do in that state is lie around on the beach all day, surfing and working on our tans? I've never even been surfing. I worked in a surf shop, but it was mainly for pretty boy wannabees to get their preppy clothes at. We only sold a surfboard once a month," I snapped, putting my hands on my hips.

Brady's eyebrows raised up to his forehead. "Well, you sure told me then," he teased.

My shoulders slumped as I realized how defensive I was. But I knew I needed to be – this guy was a known snake, and I had to show him that I wasn't just some weak little girl ready to fall at his feet.

"I loved California, and…I miss it. But I wanted to be here instead."

"So why did you move?" he asked.

His question made the tips of my ears turn red. I didn't want to get into my whole life story at the moment. I knew that he knew my dad was gay, but...the hurt the whole ordeal had caused my family was still too fresh to rehash. He was practically a stranger after all.

"Um...I just need a change I guess."

He nodded, seeming to understand. "Oh well...that's cool."

I paused, trying to think of something to break the awkward silence that had suddenly settled over the kitchen.

"I might go back to California to go to college. Spend summers with my dad; spend the rest of the year closer to my mom. I'm not sure yet."

He glanced up at me, his dark eyebrows knitting together. "So, you're already planning your escape from Forks then?

"No. Just keeping my options open," I answered, stacking my sandwich together. I took a big bite and chewed, avoiding his gaze.

"Ah," he said, putting the final slice of bread on his creation. I swallowed, standing up to move back toward the fridge.

"Soda?"

"Sure. Got Dr. Pepper?"

I froze with my hand on the handle, biting my lip. "You like that too?"

"It's just soda," he mocked me from earlier. "I'm sure a third of the country likes it," he added in a girlish voice.

I glared at him, taking two out.

"Give me a break. No one ever has it. It's just the first thing that comes out of my mouth when someone offers me soda. Relax."

I slid one over the counter toward him, cracking my own open as I made my way back to my seat – four bar stools down from his.

"Loud and clear," he chuckled under his breath before taking a bite of his food. We ate in awkward silence until I asked the only other question I could think of.

"So how long is this whole building project going to last?" I finally asked, taking another sip of my drink.

"Oh a year, maybe two," he replied nonchalantly, giving me a nod.

Choosing the wrong time to take a drink, I choked as the soda went down the wrong way. I felt my face turn red as Brady jumped up and patted me firmly on the back a few times.

"Are you okay? Breathe!" he commanded, crouching down to look in my tearing eyes. I coughed and hacked a few times, shaking my head as the soda finally stopped burning in my throat.

"I'm okay, I'm okay," I said, holding back a giggle as I wiped my mouth. "Sheesh, you think I was gonna die or something?"

"Remind me never to tell you a joke while you're drinking soda," he sighed. "I was kidding, actually. Just a month or two...don't choke yourself."

I glared at him as I took a quick sip of water at the sink. "Funny."

He leaned back in his chair, finishing the last of his food. He has practically inhaled his sandwich, and I took that as a hint. "Same time, same place tomorrow?"

I only rolled my eyes.

"I'd best get back to work. Don't choke on anything while I'm gone," he chuckled. I shot him a dirty look as he stood up, putting his paper plate in the trash and chugged the rest of his Dr. Pepper.

"Two months, Lex. It will take about two months," he finally said after securing his boots again.

"Great."

"Oh and Lex?" he asked, opening the door. I looked up expectantly, still humiliated from choking. I felt my heart speed up as he said my name again.

"You shoulda seen your face!" he cackled before slamming the door behind him.

I exhaled sharply, my shoulders slumping once again. This was going to be a long few weeks. It was barely noon, and I was already exhausted from the emotional roller coaster Brady has put me through, making me feel drained. One thing was for certain though.

I loved to hate him.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Rogue

Brady

I left Lexi's house at the end of the first day, casually glancing up at the window I had last seen her watching me out of. That must have been her room,I thought, unconsciously taking note of its location and surroundings. I waited to see if there was any indication of her presence. When there was no movement, I jumped into my truck and let it roar to life. I sped out of the driveway, making sure to press down extra hard on the gas to make it really sound against the trees. I wanted her to know that I was leaving for the day in some immature, self-obsessed kind of way. My loud truck was my pride and joy. I realize I'm not from the south, but...my loud truck made me happy and girls swoon. It usually didn't fail me when I wanted to get attention by peeling noisily out of a parking lot or driveway. Yeah, you could say I knew how to turn heads.

After I was a few miles down the road, I pulled down a dead end lane and killed the engine. Jumping out, I stripped down and quickly phased. This looked like a good spot to safely phase that was close to Lexi's house.

Pussy, I thought, chastising myself. I was already planning on how to best protect her. But why shouldn't I? She was mine, after all. As I unbuttoned my pants and let them fall to the grass, a strange realization settled over me.

Lexi was mine.

I was hers.

Or at least...that's the way I wanted things to be, anyway.

The entire idea of imprinting was new to me. To be honest, I never wanted to. But now that I had met her and touched her and been around her scent all day, it was...intoxicating. I wanted to fight it because that's who I was - a free, independent guy who relies on no one. And yet, try as I might, I simply couldn't fight the imprint because she was already taking hold of my cold heart and stubborn head. When she had fired back at me repeatedly and told me not to call her 'girl', I knew there and then she was for me right away. I was an asshole, after all. I needed a girl that could dish out as much as one that could handle me.

I was struck with a strange thought – could she handle me?

Sure, she seemed independent and fiery. And in some ways, her stubborn nature mirrored my own. But could I stay faithful to just her? My gut told me yes, but my past experience told me no. Imprinting was so strange. I wanted to be with her, but I was still myself. Or was I?

Shaking at the thought, I phased into wolf form so that I could run to her house. I'd piss on every tree in the perimeter to stake my claim if that's what it took. Even if she did seem to loath me, it was still in my blood to protect her.

Besides...the need to be close to her again was eating at me.

Today we had made progress. Sure, we had screamed at each other and fought, but...isn't that what people do? I had at least talked to her. Spent some time getting to know her. She had shared things. It was kinda like a date.

Or not.

Whatever.

I had talked to her. That was all that mattered. But we did eat together. That had to count for something, right?

I heard Astin groan inwardly as my paws hit the ground. He didn't want to patrol with me and put up with unwanted sharing of my thoughts. It was alright – I was used to being the asshole no one wants to partner with when patrolling. I was a self-aware asshole, don't forget.

I'm just going to see something. Relax, puss.

Nice to see you too, he greeted me. I need to concentrate though. Keep the X-rated stuff to yourself.

Touchy touchy! I teased, making my way back to Lexi's house.

I'm out here alone for the first time. Jake trusted me with the dinner shift to see how I'd do on my own. I can't be distracted.

I feigned hurt. Distracted? By what?

He sighed inwardly again, trying not to divulge more. I persisted in finding out exactly how I could be distracting him, begging and whining with all that I had.

Okay okay. I don't want to listen to or see images of your disgusting details about whatever street whore you banged the shit out of last night, okay?

Hey, I've never banged a street whore or a hooker as they are actually classified. All of my conquests have been at least eighteen and completely consensual, by the way.

Ulgh.

Well, they have. And actually, I paused, wondering whether or not to divulge this new information to him. I didn't bang anyone last night.

Um, what? This is a first. A dry spell for Brady.

No man. It's not that.

Up until now, the other guys still have no idea that I have imprinted. Having had years of practice sharing my headspace with a dozen other guys, I had gained the willpower to control what I share through our mental link and what I don't. For instance, my pack rarely sees the overflowing glasses of wine my mother drinks, or the times my dad had decided to get physical with his anger and taken it out on me. Those things I don't share. However, my pack mates can test the mental flavor of my mind when I leave the house, so I'm sure it's no mystery. I never wanted anyone to know much about the disgraceful things my family did or for people to feel sorry for me, so I always preferred to keep the gory details of my home life to myself. But as I was saying, I do have complete control over what I shared with him, so I shared the memory of imprinting on Lexi. And her hating me.

You...you imprinted? On her?

Yeah...why so shocked?

Well...she's so nice! Astin thought, quickly wincing as he realized how it sounded. He was shocked that such a nice, pretty, and normal girl was my imprint when I was clearly a raging lunatic. He felt sorry for the girl.

In a way, I did too.

I mean...she's...she's awesome man, I just...that's not who I expected...um...

Just stop thinking, I snapped, sliding to a halt near her backyard. Astin was patrolling miles away. I might have gone and kicked his hairy ass had I been closer, but tonight, I was distracted.

I was experiencing Lexi as a wolf for the first time. The scent of her home, her family, and her – everything was magnified as I stood in her backyard, concealed by the trees and the fading daylight. Her fathers were home, standing in the kitchen, speaking in soft voices. They were concerned about her; apparently, the phone had rung and Lexi's mother was on the other line. Stepping forward a little, I pricked my ears and listened carefully. Lexi was in her room, pacing as she held the phone to her ear. Did I feel like a stalker? Hell, yes. But I needed anything to help me understand this girl so that I could possibly relate to her and make her not hate me.

Astin gave me some space as he patrolled, turning his thoughts elsewhere. I silently thanked him and inched closer to the house to eavesdrop.

"No, Mom. I can't. Because I go back to school on Monday! It's not worth it to only fly home for a week. Besides...I'd just have to leave again. That would only upset him," Lexi reasoned emphatically.

Him? Him! Who was he? I felt myself start to panic. Did she have a boyfriend I didn't know about?

"I can't...keep doing this. I'll talk to him tomorrow. Yes, I'll call him. Maybe he could come and visit this summer?" Lexi offered, the sadness in her voice threatening to break through.

My ears strained to hear the voice on the other end of the line, but my superhuman hearing could only take me so far. I couldn't hear anything but mumbling through the phone. Obviously, her mother was telling her that some guy missed her. Maybe an old boyfriend? Or did she have a current one I would have to compete with? It had to be a boyfriend, there is no way she'd be this upset if not. She was beautiful…of course she had other guys in her life. Normally, I would enjoy a bit of competition, but now...now it just made me feel kinda sick.

"I...miss him too. But...he can't miss me as much as you say...no, Mom, I don't think you're lying," Lexi continued, her voice quivering.

I was openly pacing in her yard now. From her voice, Lexi was clearly upset and trying hard not to break down. Clearly this guy, whoever it was, was very important to her. The light was quickly fading, but it wasn't dark enough that human eyes would miss me, a giant black wolf practically wearing a track in the grass. But I didn't care.

She sighed. "Just tell him...tell him I still love him and I'll see him soon. I don't know, Mom, just...soon."

Obviously, I had competition.

I spent the night patrolling a circle around her house, marking every other tree in the area. Astin rolled his eyes at me more than once, and when we were joined by Quil, he couldn't help but laugh at me.

Would you assholes knock it the fuck off? I'm just doing my job.

Yeah, patrolling around the house of the girl who gave you a verbal bitch slap at the bonfire, Quil cackled.

I flattened my ears and tried my best to ignore Quil and his jibes. He could taunt me all he wanted, but I knew that it wasn't always smooth sailing with him and Claire. If Lexi was a pistol, then his imprint was a nuclear bomb.

I sat and listened as she hung up the phone and threw herself on the bed. I could hear the muffled sobs into the mattress as she cried herself to sleep after that. One thing was for sure – Lexi definitely had feelings for whoever this guy was. Girls didn't cry themselves to sleep over just any guy, right?

Quil and Astin were silent as I mournfully walked the already worn path by her house. I really did have competition, and it wasn't good. Lexi was very upset by whoever she had been talking about – she missed him. Would she go back to California to be with him? My chest panged painfully. I knew that I would be a goner if she left me now. Fuck, why did I have to meet her in the first place? Why couldn't she have stayed in California and spared me the agony of losing her? I had seen what happened when wolves were away from their imprints – it wasn't pretty. Case in point – Embry Call – the guy I had frequently teased for his imprint misery. And now, I might possibly share his fate.

I wished I had never even met her.

Things could have stayed the way they were, and I would be minus the pain of knowing my imprint was even out there, somewhere.

You can't forget her that easily. It doesn't work that way, Quil's internal voice rang out.

Shut the fuck up, I growled. The last thing I need is your input.

My pack mates backed off as I gave one last huff in the direction of Lexi's house. With that, I tore off into the woods to blow off some steam. I had no idea what to do now – usually, when I was upset about something, it was trivial for starters. But no matter what, I had my surefire ways to make things better; go on a drinking binge, fuck someone pretty, or do something to piss off my father. All of these options seemed to be useless at the moment.

I phased back around midnight, pulling on my clothes and stalking into La Push with my skin crawling. I was so jealous of this mystery guy Lexi was pining after that I could barely even see straight as I pushed through the heavy wooden door. Normally, the smell of the smoky little bar put me in a good mood. But tonight...tonight it just made my stomach turn and gave me something to prove.

I sat down at the end of the bar and flagged down Maggie, the weekend bartender.

"Whiskey, and keep it coming," I barked. She nodded, putting two double shot glasses up on the bar in front of me.

"What kind do you want?" she asked, glancing at the back bar.

"Any kind, Jesus, just get me a fucking drink!" I growled.

Her eyes widened a little, but she said nothing as she poured the two shot glasses full and slid them closer to me in the same way you would give food to a caged animal. I downed them instantly, not even wincing as the nasty brown liquid fueled my inner fire. "Just give me the bottle," I said, tossing a few twenties on the counter. Reaching across the bar, I yanked the brown bottle off the shelf and slammed it down on the counter in front of me.  
People stared in my direction. I didn't care about how they were looking at me, I just wanted my drink and it was coming too slowly for my comfort.

Maggie looked at me with wide eyes but knew better than to test me when I was in one of my moods. I had been short with her before, but my generous tips usually made me easier for her to deal with. She knew when to give me space.

Shot.

Shot.

Another shot.

The more you drink, the better whiskey tastes.

So I drank more.

And more.

And more.

Still more.

Another bottle purchased.

I was halfway through it before I noticed it was a different brand.

A girl sat down next to me, flipping her hair in my direction. She smelled good. Not as good as Lexi and her green apples, but...good.

"Drinkin' someone off your mind?" she asked saucily.

"No," I snapped, taking another drink. I was a bad liar.

"I see," she said. I turned my head in her direction, raising an eyebrow at her. She was pretty enough, in her early forties probably. A cougar, looking for a good time with a younger guy. Normally, I was all over that. Cougars could show you a good time – they were confident, they knew their bodies...and yours. They knew how to take what they wanted and usually didn't want more than a long night and a good fuck. They weren't clingy or whiny, and they could teach you things in bed.

In typical circumstances, I would be barricaded with her in the tiny bathroom by now, balls deep and loving it.

But all I could see were Lexi's blue eyes.

This woman smelled like flowers. And usually, I loved any kind of flowery scent.

Suddenly, I just wanted apples. Specifically, green apples.

I wanted Lexi.

Not this woman.

"I could help you forget her. Just for tonight," she purred, putting on her most seductive smile.

"You drinkin' someone off your mind too?" I shot back. I was being a cocky ass, but...it was what I did best.

"It's just an offer. Take it or leave it."

"Not tonight, sugar. Any other night, sure, but...not tonight."

"Fair enough. I like a man who doesn't beat around the bush. Some other time," she sighed, sliding down the bar to proposition someone else. The guy she picked looked even younger than me. I smiled bitterly to myself.

I had it bad for this girl.

Yeah, blue eyes and green apples. That was all I could think about.

And meanwhile, she was probably still in her room, crying in her sleep over some other guy.

I sat on my stool, downing a double shot every few minutes as I sat and stewed. How could she already have someone else? She didn't mention anyone in the kitchen today. She seemed fine. A little homesick, but fine. Or had I just been blind?

I did a mental rewind of the morning as I sat there, images of Lexi flashing through my mind. She was gorgeous, really. Silky blonde hair, pink cheeks, and traces of a tan still left. My usual targets were the paler brunette girls with green or hazel eyes – those were my type, hence my initial attraction to Regan. But Lexi was obviously my new type, I suppose. This was so confusing. Everything I thought I had known about myself had changed in the span of one day. No wonder I was on edge. Lexi's blue-eyed gaze seemed to have burned onto my eyeballs; everywhere I looked in the smoky bar...there she was. I shuddered and took another big gulp of the fiery brown whisky. If anything, it agitated me more.

I gulped down the rest of the bottle, hoping it would ease my pain and suffering like it usually did. Instead, it merely reacted with my stomach, making me feel queasy and agitated. With another growl, I heaved the empty bottle at the wall closest to me, watching it shatter in a flurry of glass. Everyone in the bar stopped talking and stared as I stood and shoved my bar stool away with a grunt.

"Maggie, I..." I stuttered, glancing at the mess. I tossed another twenty down and staggered out the back door that was closest to me. The cool night air hit my face and did little to sober me. As a wolf, my high body temperature burned off alcohol fairly quickly, however, when you chugged something with higher alcohol content, like whisky, the effects could last as much as half an hour.

I ambled through the streets of the tiny town, listless and still more agitated than I had ever been. My chest clenched with need, but a need for what, I didn't know. Drinking usually made things clearer somehow. Tonight's binge only made me feel more helpless. Exactly what I hated most. That feeling of helplessness and lack of control. Turns out half an hour of numbness didn't get me too far. Before I realized it, I was almost completely sober and wandering through La Push like a buffoon.

I felt lost.

Slightly buzzed and lost.

But mainly lost.

I walked and walked, probably for hours. When I ended up on Lexi's front lawn, I was hardly surprised. I crumpled to the ground, the twisting feeling in my sternum finally easing up. The pretty exterior lights that illuminated her house looked hazy from the dew that was settling over the green grass. I sat on the moist lawn, resting my arms across my knees as I stared up at her window. Then – I heard it.

The soft beat of her heart as she slept. The gentle, steady rhythm seemed to calm every frazzled nerve in my body as I stopped fighting it and let it into my head. It pulled me in, closer and closer, until everything else faded away.

My father's voice. Alcohol. Random faces of the girls I'd loved and left. My mother's pain. My own self-hatred.

The ugly things that were haunting me were suddenly a distant memory.

She had ensnared my heart without even trying. Lexi hadn't found me to challenge me and take away what I knew. This girl had been sent to me to give me a sense of peace.

And belonging.

I let the idea soothe me further, and I realized I hadn't been this serene since I was a kid. Long before the pack, the vampires, and the harsh reality of it all. For a few moments, I was just...me.

I don't know how long I stayed there before I heard footsteps behind me. Quil nudged me with his big toe.

"What are you doing, creep? I've been in the bushes for twenty minutes trying to get your attention. You do realize you can't be here when the sun comes up, right?"

I shrugged, looking up at him. The slackened look on my face must have clued him in to my blissfully comatose state.

"I get it now," I said quietly, nodding in the direction of her house. "The imprint thing. I get it."

"Great, well-"

He was just about to say something to mock me, I'm sure, when Astin's distant howl rang out through the woods. It was far away, but it was him.

"Knew I shouldn't have left the pup alone. Come on, let's go. You sobered up yet? I can smell it all over you."

"I'm phasing, not operating a vehicle," I snapped, climbing to my feet. We ran to the tree line and quickly phased. I let Astin's thoughts mold with mine, and I realized he had picked up a strange scent. His thoughts were panicky and warbled as he tried to follow it. His rational fear was holding him back. He needed backup.

We're coming! Quil assured him. Stay on it!

I followed on Quil's heels, still distracted. I knew Lexi had a hold on me – not even the scent of a rogue vampire could snap me out of the trance she had me under tonight.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Sour Grapes

Lexi

I opened my eyes a crack at the beeping noise. It sounded like my alarm clock, but that couldn't be right. It was still spring break. Sitting up in bed, I tossed the covers back and moved to the window that overlooked the driveway and Brady's work area. A large cement truck was backing down our driveway as he waved his arms and instructed it where to go. He looked up at the last second, catching my gaze.

He winked.

I glared.

How did he always seem to know that I was looking at him? I huffed internally. It was as if we were linked by some sort of weird telepathy. Or he just knew how to annoy me.

Shaking those thoughts away, I let the curtain fall back into place with a grunt. I quickly dressed in jeans and an old ratty sweatshirt, skipping a hair brush and deodorant again just to show how little I cared. Once I was down in the kitchen, I put on the coffee and waited. I knew he would come barging in soon, just like every other day of break, blatantly hinting for handouts. I wondered who would feed him once I went back to school.

Like clockwork, the door to the driveway swung open and Brady poked his head in. He made a point to keep his cement covered rubber boots on the top stair as he craned his neck to look inside.

"Coffee would be nice," he said with a high and mighty air.

I made a disgusted noise in my throat. "Get it yourself."

"I would, but I'm covered in cement. But you already know that," he laughed, giving me a wink.

My cheeks blushed deep crimson as I realized what he was referring to. I had been caught watching him from my window several times, which was humiliating enough. To have him bring it up was outright cringeworthy.

I got up with a grumble and poured a bit of the steaming hot liquid into a plastic cup and shoved it at him. He gave me an incredulous look and held up his hands. "Oh, I take it with cream and two sugars sweetheart."

I gritted my teeth as I added his requests and practically shoved it back at him.

"Woo…did you not sleep well? Someone is grumpy," he quipped. I rolled my eyes and tried not to give him too much of a reaction. He was just like the teenage boys from high school. They would playfully insult you just to get a reaction. Well, he certainly wasn't getting one from me.

"Yeah, well...I guess I didn't," I muttered, slamming the door. I heard him snort as I trudged back upstairs with my steaming cup. In all honestly, I had a tough night. My mom had called and put my eight year old brother, Dylan, on the phone to give me a tearful plea to come home. Just thinking of the phone call that, I'm certain, had been staged by my mother made me sick to my stomach. It wasn't right to use my brothers against me; I was still a teenager, and I knew that parents doing things like that wasn't fair.

Needless to say, it had been somewhat of a sleepless night.

I couldn't go back. My dad and Patrick needed me, and besides I had already settled into Forks and made some really good friends. In truth, my new friends were a whole lot better than the air-headed bunch back home. My brothers couldn't leave their school and make all new friends now – I had been lucky to be welcomed by Claire and Regan. No, things had to stay the way they were.

I moped around my room most of the morning, torturing myself further by flipping through the family photo albums with sorrow. I had managed to slip a few from the shelves of my former home knowing they would probably be destroyed anyway. My mother had accepted the fact that my dad was gay, but she certainly hadn't accepted that her husband had left her for someone else. Even though I felt sorry for her, I simply couldn't stay in California. My dad needed the support to start his new life.

I gazed over the pictures, trying to remember my life back when they were taken. I had been a happy child and had never wanted for anything; we lived a comfortable, happy life. At least my first sixteen years or so had been happy. I had to remind myself that very few kids get even that much. For that, I will always remember the sacrifices my father had made to give me that happy childhood.

With a sigh, I turned to a picture of our last family portrait session. Once a year we donned matching outfits and went to the beach or the park for a professional photographer to take some shots of the entire family. The picture of my mom and dad together on the beach looked so deceiving. You would never know. He had played straight so convincingly. Now I can see the emptiness in his eyes, the stiffness to his smile. Back then...he was more than convincing.

The doorbell chiming downstairs ripped me from my reverie. My dad and Patrick were gone again today, this time pricing special water resistant shingles or something for our new garage. Trudging to the door, I opened it to find a teenage boy in a red button down shirt standing there with a long box.

"Yes?"

"Delivery. Sign here," he mumbled, shoving the box at me. I frowned, but did as I was told.

"Who sent these?"

"Don't know. Have a nice day."

"Thanks," I muttered, slamming the door shut. The box was heavy in my arms. That was odd. It was addressed to me.

Ripping it open, I was immediately met with the scent of fresh flowers. Carefully removing the packaging, I realized someone had sent me a healthy sized bouquet of what looked like mini irises. The violet color was dazzling and the smell was heavenly. I quickly put them in the crystal vase that came with them and arranged them on the kitchen counter. I gazed at them dreamily for a few minutes, just admiring the delicate petals. No one had ever gotten me flowers before; well, minus my parents. Who on earth sent them?

My frown was quickly replaced by a smile as I leaned in and took a whiff. As if on cue, the kitchen door swung open and made me jump. Brady peeled off his boots before tromping into the kitchen in his bare feet.

"Care if I make a sub?"

I shook my head and sat back on the counter to gaze at my pretty flowers and ignore stupid Brady.

"Nice flowers. Who sent them?" he asked quizzically, loading up his arms with food from the fridge. I simply shrugged and shook my head, trying to pretend I didn't feel my cheeks heating up.

"I don't know," I admitted.

He snorted. "Right. You don't know? How can you not know who sent you flowers?"

"No card," I explained, leaning in and taking another long whiff. "They're pretty though."

Brady made a snorting sound through his nose. "Hasn't this joker ever heard of roses?"

"First of all, whoever sent them isn't a 'joker'. Secondly...roses are overdone. I like these better."

He snorted to himself and let the door to the fridge slam shut. "Whatever you say. This guy looks cheap. Someone from home sent them?"

I sighed. "Are you that thick? I said I didn't know."

"Touchy!" He snapped, holding up his hands. "Just wanted to know if there was like...a guy or something that could have sent them to you from home. Someone who like, misses you or whatever."

I frowned at his sentiment, trying not to read too much into it. Sure, Brady was still like a thorn in my side; however, he was still a very hot thorn in my side. I brushed my hair out of my eyes and sat at the counter, still gazing at my flowers with a perplexed expression.

"Nosy much?" I shot back.

Of course there was no one from home. Who was I kidding? The guys at home barely paid me any attention; much less miss me enough to send flowers three months after I'd moved away. So who were they from? My eyes shifted to Brady, who was unabashedly watching me out of the corner of his eye as he pretended to hunt for the lunchmeat in the fridge. Blushing, I looked away.

"So are we paying you in food, are you hoping to just break even?" I shot at him as he chewed.

His eyebrows shot clear up his forehead. "Seems like you should be happier, what with getting flowers and all!"

I balked. "I don't know who sent me flowers…could be…an axe murderer who's stalking me."

Brady snorted. "Trust me, I don't think that's the case. And if it is, well…then I'd say that's a pretty considerate axe murderer..stalker…thing you got going on."

I stared at him for a moment, watching him carefully. He avoided my eyes and the tips of his ears began to turn a little pink. What was going on? I looked back at the flowers, then him.

"Need something?"

"No, erm...I'll be upstairs," I quickly mumbled before darting up the back staircase.

x-x-x-x-x-x-xx-

"He's awful, Claire. Pompous, hoity, jerky, and awful. Just...ulgh," I answered, throwing up my hands the next day. Claire had invited me over to hang out with her and work on our group project, but so far, all we had done was sit around reading Cosmo and gossiping.

"So...how much longer will he be working at your house?" she asked flatly.

"Dad said it would take him most of the summer since he's working alone. They're even thinking of adding like a patio and maybe a deck or something. I don't know. All I know is that he's just there every day and all..." I trailed off, grumbling to myself.

She looked up over her magazine and snorted. "You seem to talk about him an awful lot for hating him so much."

My head jerked up to stare at her. "What?"

"I said," she giggled, sitting into an upright position, "that you talk about him an awful lot for supposedly hating him so much."

"Well...I do. Hate him, that is," I huffed, flipping the page of my magazine cover.

"Well, I'd stay steer clear. If he asks you for something, ignore it. He's nothing but trouble, Lex, trust me. I've known the guy since I was baby. I'm sure if Quil wasn't around, he'd be all trying to hit on me too. Guys like that have it like...programmed into them or something."

"Right," I agreed, chewing my lip as I listened to Claire. In all honesty, I had talked to him several times over the course of a few days. He wasn't that bad.

That was the part that angered me.

He wasn't bad at all.

That was the part that terrified me.

He had been on rain release from his full time job with my dad for the past week. I guess if it rained too much and they were on a certain aspect of the building, they couldn't work. Today he had gone back to work full time, and if I was really honest with myself, that was the reason I had accepted Claire's invitation to hang out.

I wouldn't have missed a second of Brady being at my house. As much as I hated to admit it...I was drawn to him.

It wasn't like I had fallen head over heels.

No.

I fought it.

Feebly.

But I had fought it. After some questioning glances from my dad and Patrick, the irises had been moved up to my room to endure a bit less scrutiny. I knew they wanted to give me my privacy and not ask, because I had made it clear that I didn't want to talk about it. However, they were gossipy old farts and I knew they were biting their tongues. So, the flowers sat on my dresser and mocked me.

"I talk about people who irk me too. Well, Regan says I whine and bitch about them."

"He just...rubs me the wrong way," I explained, ignoring her sentiment.

Claire snorted and raised a dark eyebrow at me. "As opposed to the right way?"

I felt myself blush before I could think to control it. "No. Um..."

She laughed. "It's okay. He's a hot piece of man meat, so I can't blame ya," she added with a wink.

I shrugged and brushed a piece of hair out of my eyes. "Right. I just wouldn't want Regan to...get the wrong idea."

"Oh Lex...that girl is so wrapped up in Sethy-kins, I hardly doubt she will notice even if you were to elope with him to Vegas right now."

"I'm...I wouldn't—"

"Well, I'd hope not," she giggled, cutting me off. "I'm just messing with ya, Lex. But Regan wouldn't...care, I mean...if you—"

"No! Oh my god, no. It's not like that. So I have some...girly crush on him. Whatever. He's nice to look at but he's bad news. I wouldn't dream of it."

"Oh...well...okay," she agreed, nodding. We flipped through our magazines a few more times before she jumped up.

"Regan will be working by now. Why don't we go harass her at the Piggly Wiggly?"

I giggled at the name of the grocery store and let Claire drag me to her car. A short time later we arrived at Regan's place of work only to find her elbows deep in floury dough.

"She's like a deranged Betty Crocker that one," Claire announced, making Regan look up from her work with a scowl as several nearby shoppers looked up at us. A few middle-aged women frowned and stepped a little further away from the pastry counter as Claire cackled to herself.

"What do you want?" she grumbled, wiping off her hands. "Stop coming to my work and embarrassing me, Claire, jeez. What will it take to get you out of here without publicly humiliating me or getting me fired?"

Claire gave Regan her best grin. "Cupcake."

Regan hissed something under her breath and slipped us both a vanilla cupcake with rainbow sprinkles.

"Silence ain't cheap," Claire laughed. "So how's work?"

Regan rolled her eyes. "Fine. Just would rather be, oh you know...anywhere but here."

"I getcha. You still want to come over after?"

"Yeah, just let me tell Seth, he was my ride. I'm off in twenty. Can you hang around till then?"

We nodded and headed to the town square to kill twenty minutes. Regan said she would meet us there when she was finished, so we took our time and strolled around.

As we passed a quaint looking store, I stopped walking and looked around us. "You know, Forks isn't really that bad. It's got a homey feel to it."

Claire looked at me like I was crazy as she swiped a bit of frosting off the top of her cupcake. "You're crazy. At least you have a place like California to go to on vacations. Are you going home at all this summer?"

"Yeah, prolly. I should go see my mom. I haven't seen her since Christmas, and...she was a little too drugged to remember." I said as we started walking again. "The valium fairy visited several times a day, if you know what I mean."

She shrugged. "No offense, but if my husband told me he was gay, I'd need a little blue pill too. Not the gay part, just….that he was leaving me. I can't imagine how bad that has to hurt. Especially since there wasn't much she could do to get him back, ya know? "

I laughed and nodded good-naturedly. "I guess you're right. People here have been cool about that."

"About what?"

"Exactly. You barely blinked when I told you I had two dads. Not the reaction I was expecting."

She shrugged. "Well….I'm good with weird, I guess."

We talked and enjoyed the spring air while we waited for Regan to get off work, making quick work of our cupcakes from Piggly Wiggly. We were strolling around the sidewalk admiring the daffodils that lined it when Claire nudged me.

"You have a shadow," she hissed.

Surprise washed over me. "Huh?"

Turning around, I saw who was walking behind us. It was Brady. That's strange, I thought. Isn't he supposed to be at work? He was still about a fifty yards back, but it was definitely him. I felt my stomach get nervous butterflies as he approached us quickly and with purpose. His eyes were dark and stormy, and I felt myself inhale. I had never seen him look so...serious.

"Stalk much?" Claire snapped, turning around. I grabbed her elbow and hissed for her to keep walking, but it didn't matter. Brady caught up to us in a matter of seconds.

"What are you guys doing out? It's...getting late," he said, shifting from one foot to the other. I noticed his ripped jeans, white shirt, and dirty work boots and figured he must be working nearby.

"Um, walking?"

"And I wasn't stalking," he added quietly, "we're working across the street and I saw you guys...just...Claire, it's almost dark out. You girls shouldn't be walking around like this."

"Like what?" Claire challenged.

I cringed slightly as Claire stepped closer to him in a challenging manner. She was so ballsy sometimes that I was envious of how little she cared of what people thought of her. Claire just didn't care. My eyes moved to Brady, was currently staring her down with his stormy gaze. I was confused. He was talking like...we were in danger. But that didn't make any sense. It was barely dusk on a Thursday afternoon, and we were in Forks. It was a sleepy little town. Bad things didn't happen in places like this, right?

"Just talk to Quil later, alright?" he snapped sharply. I gaped at him, astounded he would talk to Claire like that. People didn't usually just talk to her like that. She would verbally rip them a new asshole.

I watched as Claire and Brady had about a twenty second stare down before she finally nodded. "Okay, fine. But go back to work, you're creeping us out."

"I'm not either...am I?" He asked suddenly, his shoulders dropping. He went from a ferocious looking hulk to a cowering puppy. I was still tongue tied.

"Yes, you're a loser, now go. Leave us alone, we're waiting for Regan to get off work." Claire replied rudely.

"Maybe I should stay with you guys. Lexi doesn't mind, do you?" he asked, looking at me.

Something about the way he was acting all cocky rubbed me the wrong way. I frowned at him and felt an air of defiance rise up in my chest. I needed to squelch this attraction to him, and do it now before I fell.

Or fell harder.

"No, we're fine. Like she said...stop being a creep," I chimed in, Claire's laughter barely registering with me. The look on Brady's face suddenly had all my attention. Now he really did look like a cowering puppy. As he should though – I was publicly shooting him down and embarrassing him.

"I could walk you guys back to the car," he offered hopefully.

I looked at him squarely in the eye. "Brady, we don't need a babysitter. Claire said we're fine. Besides...it's not even dark out. Last time I checked, I'm old enough not to need a babysitter."

Suddenly something flared in his eyes; a rage I hadn't seen before. "Well, pardon me for caring. Or trying. Or whatever. Just...fuck this," he spat, turning around and stalking away. The breath left my chest as I watched him hurry off. Something twisted inside of me as if my body was protesting his hasty exit. I opened my mouth to say something but I couldn't find the words.

"Good riddance," Claire snapped. Her eyes shifted to me and she shook her head in disbelief. "Can you believe him? We're just in Forks and..." she trailed off, still shaking her head.

"Is he...always like that?" I asked.

"A hot headed asshole?"

"Well, I guess..."

"Yes. Brady's been a hothead ever since I was little," she said after a short pause.

I raised my eyebrows. "You've known him since you were little? How mean could he have been back then?"

Claire stopped, her dark eyes going a little wide as if she had just spilled someone's darkest secrets.

"Oh...erm...he's a few years older than me I think, why?"

"How old is he?" I asked, adding quickly, "Just out of curiosity."

"He's...like early twenties," Claire said after a moment. "I'm not sure to be honest. Older than us but um...not old."

"Oh."

"Well, he's always had a temper. Quil says he's always picking fights and being an overall nuisance with that hot attitude of his. He isn't giving your dad a hard time, is he?" she asked curiously.

"No," I admitted. "He's been off work all week because of the rain I think, so he's been at my house. It's just the two of us during the day, and..." I trailed off, thinking of how he acted the few times he had been in my kitchen, mooching lunch. He was charming – almost sweet. Cocky, but overall decent. If I didn't know anything about his past, I would actually think he was something perfectly reasonable to crush on. However, I knew things about him that were less than appealing.

"...he's different," I finally said, giving her a shrug. Claire gave me a look that said she clearly didn't buy it, but she didn't say anything else.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Before I knew it, spring break was over and we were back in school. A steady downpour of rain had kept Brady from working at my house all week. Each day, I would wake up for school and look out my window, pitifully hoping that he would be working below my window. I trudged to school on Friday and spent the day pissed at myself for caring. I felt like an awful friend to Regan for even thinking about Brady other than thinking of him as a total rat.

But I didn't think of him that way.

At all.

Maybe that's what startled and repulsed me so much.

Regan hadn't gone into too much detail about her short tryst with Brady shortly after arriving in Forks, but I had heard enough to get the jist. He used her like a cheap piece of meat and tossed her aside. He was a womanizer. A boozing, temper-fueled womanizer.

But did I even know him enough to label him that way? I wasn't sure. I decided to wait and find out. Little did I know, I wouldn't have to wait very long. I pulled up to my house that afternoon after school, and there he was. I climbed out of my car and gulped as he turned around. He was using some sort of gun to nail some of the studs in place. Our carriage house was coming along slowly, much to my delight. Or horror. Like I said, I wasn't sure.

"Hey," he called brightly, flashing his white teeth at me. I heaved my book bag over my shoulder and nodded.

"Hey."

"It's Friday. Shouldn't you look...peppier?"

I snorted. "You know how I should look now?"

It came out sharper than I had intended, but I didn't regret it. I needed to nip this little crush in the bud while I still could. Being nice to him and having him be nice and charming right back to me wasn't going to get us anywhere.

I couldn't afford to let this go on.

I was a loyal person. That was all there is to it. I dug my toe in the mud and fought the urge to remain where I was. What was it about him that drew me in? As if on cue, he gave me the kicked puppy look again and I felt my heart twist in my chest.

"I guess not, no," he muttered, his tan face going back to looking stern. He seemed to be fighting something on his side as well. It was like he didn't want me to see him laughing or sad or...feeling anything. Was he afraid to feel? Something told me he was. It seemed as though I either saw him on one end of the spectrum or the other – feelings versus no feelings.

But which was real? I wasn't sure anymore.

"If you um...want a snack or anything, I'll be in the kitchen doing homework," I offered finally, my resolve wavering.

He nodded, dropping his drill on the makeshift table as if it was on fire. "Alright, I could eat."

I raised my eyebrows in surprise, but couldn't think of much else as I let him into the side door. He stood at the counter as I rummaged through the pantry and fridge, seeking out something to eat. "String cheese, ok?"

"The best," he confirmed, walking over to me. I felt my heart stop as he neared, his arm brushing against mine as he ripped off three pieces of cheese. "Do you bite it or peel it?"

I snorted. "I peel it. I'm not an animal."

He burst into laughter, stepping away. "Right. You're not an animal. So uhm..how's high school treating ya?"

I thought for a moment before rolling my eyes at him. "Fine. It's high school. Same no matter what state you're in."

He thought a moment, ripping a chunk off his string cheese. I tried not to drool as his defined jaw moved, chewing thoughtfully. "You go to school with Zeke, right?"

"Right."

"Yeah...been meaning to chat with that little punk."

"Whys that?"

He raised his eyebrows before giving me a quick wink. "Oh you know...threaten him to look after certain people while he's there."

I frowned. First the square in Forks, now he wanted someone to look after me while I was in school? This was getting weird...and fast. "Excuse me? What's it with you wanting to keep tabs on me all the sudden?"

He was quiet then, chewing as he debated what to say back to me. "I'm just kidding. I like to give the kid a hard time."

"Well, ease up on him. Zeke is great. I'm working with him on a group project, and he's been really good. Besides...it's Forks. I don't need looking after," I added indignantly.

"Right," he quipped sarcastically.

"How do you know him, anyway? He's a high school kid."

"How old do you think I am?" He laughed. "I'm not that old and decrepit that I can't know a few high schoolers."

"Just weird, I duno."

"Listen, he's from the rez, I'm from the rez—"

"No he's not. He moved here," I retorted.

"Okay fine, well...he's got Quileute blood in him, so I consider him to be from the rez. We all look out for each other, ya know?"

"Right," I said slowly, walking back to the fridge. I pulled out the bag of grapes and popped one in my mouth as he watched. He seemed captivated watching me chew...and strangely, I liked it. However, my self-conscious side won out and I slowed, frowning at him. His eyes met mine and he jumped slightly, as if he just realized I had been watching him watch me chew the grape.

This is going from weird to weirder, I thought.

"What?" I asked rudely, giving him another glare.

"I should prolly head back out. Make it look like I'm actually working when your dads get home," he finally sighed, giving me a playful grin. I rolled my eyes and shook my head at him.

"Why do you always do that?"

"Do what?" I asked, my eyes following him to the door.

"Roll your eyes at me when I talk."

"You're just so...so…"

"So what?"

I rolled my eyes again, making him snort as he pulled on his boots. "You must really like me. I make you speechless," he replied with a cocky swagger. Before I could even process his words, he was out the door faster than a bolt of lightning.

I screeched out loud in a mixture of frustration and shock before taking off after him, grapes in tow. "I do not like you!" I called out haughtily as I hurried down the outside steps. He tossed me another cocky glance over his shoulder as he walked.

"Fine, fine. You hate me. You know, for hating me, you follow me around an awful lot."

"No, actually you follow me around," I shot back. "What was with that, anyway?"

He paused a moment, picking up a drill. "In the square? Nothing."

I frowned, replaying the concerned look on his face from that day in my mind. He had looked jumpy and agitated, like something was really really wrong. "It didn't seem like nothing. You looked really worried, that's all. Is something wrong with Forks? Is there like...a serial killer on the loose I don't know about?"

"Something like that, yeah."

"You're bluffing," I shot, crossing my arms. I glared at his back as he drilled, my frustration with him coming to a head. He was clearly lying to me about something – I just wasn't sure what.

"Am I now," he muttered, turning around. I uncrossed my arms and gave him another glare. He returned my glare and tried not to smile as I fought the same urge.

"Care to share those?" he asked, motioning to the grapes.

I huffed and untwisted the bag in my hand, pelting one of the green grapes at him as fast as I could. He lunged out, catching it in his mouth. My jaw dropped as he chewed.

"How on earth did you...how did you catch that?"

"It's a gift," he smirked, putting the drill down. He clapped his tanned hands together, stepping away from the construction site in our side yard and onto the grass. "Come on, I'll show you. Toss me another one."

I sighed and followed him into the yard, my bare feet sinking into the chilly, dewy grass. Brady nodded at me from twenty feet away.

"You're joking. Right? You're joking."

"Nah, nah, come on girl. I'll catch whatever you throw at me," he replied with a bright smile.

I narrowed my eyes before chucking another grape at him, which he effortlessly caught in his mouth. "What did we say about calling me 'girl'? My name is Lexi. Use it."

"Gladly," he chuckled, clapping again. I tossed another one, this time impossibly high and out of his reach. He lunged again, catching it before somersaulting on the ground and rolling into a standing position.

"Impressive, right?"

I tried not to roll my eyes and give him the satisfaction. "Fine, you can catch grapes."

"Do another one," he pleaded, nodding. "High."

I tossed another one high up in the air, my jaw dropping as he did a perfect backflip before catching the grape.

"You're kidding me with this right now, right?" I laughed.

He shook his head and joined me in laughter. "No, just something I learned. Do another one."

Before I realized what happened, Brady had me laughing and we were out of grapes. As it turned out, he could do an amazing array of flips and leaps before catching the fruit in his mouth, and he barely missed.

"Want me to do fifty push-ups?" he offered.

"What?"

"I missed that one. But I beg interference for the crappy throw," he teased.

I imagined him in his cut up t-shirt doing push-ups on my front lawn and tried not to blush. "Um, no," I giggled, turning back towards the house.

"Where are ya going?" he asked.

Turning my head to look at him, I said, "We're done. No more grapes."

"No, wait," he called, jogging after me. I paused on the bottom step of the side porch, tucking my hair behind my ears as I fidgeted. Something about him looking at me made me want to fidget.

"What?" I asked, feeling uncomfortable.

"You don't have to go yet," he said, turning up his puppy-dog eyes, "we were just starting to have some fun."

"Yeah, I do. I need to um...do some homework," I said.

"On a Saturday morning?" he asked, raising his eyebrow.

He was calling my bluff and I knew it. My shoulders slumped in defeat as he realized what I was doing. I was avoiding him. I was putting the brakes on our fun time together.

I had enjoyed being with him.

But I shouldn't have.

"Yeah, well...I should go inside. Things to do..." I trailed off, looking down.

"Right. I get it," He snapped bitterly, stalking back over to his work station. I could see his angry face as he picked up his drill and fiddled with it. A light mist had begun to fall around us, and suddenly, I felt very out of place. Minutes passed by, and I could tell he was still consumed by his anger, judging from his quick, jerky movements as he worked, but I didn't know what to say.

"Don't you have work to do, supposedly?" he snapped, glancing over his shoulder.

I reeled silently, amazed at his moods. He could go from hot to cold in two seconds! It was obvious he was like an emotional yo-yo.

"Yeah, I guess," I said softly, hugging my sides. How could he make me feel so amazing one second...and so awful the next? I gripped the white railing of the steps where I stood, suddenly unable to move. Why did he affect me so? I couldn't decide why I couldn't move...something in my chest twisted and ached at every single thought of leaving him.

"So...so that's it then?" he called, making me turn around.

"What?" I asked, beginning to feel irritated.

"That's it," he snapped, gripping the tool in his hand. "So you're just going to keep this distance, this...thing between us. Just because I screwed up and fucked your friend one drunken night? That's it for me, then?"

I balked at his brash words. Not many people said things the way he did, and I wasn't used to someone being so harsh with me.

"That's not, I mean...Brady, I can't just..." I fumbled over my words, trying to decide what to say. I wanted to be a good friend and be loyal to Regan, of course. What girl did that? Flirted with the guy who had hurt her friend?

A bad one.

I had friend back home – not a lot of close ones, but….I knew that much about girl code. You didn't date the guy that fucked your friend and then fucked her over. I didn't know what to say.

"What do you want from me?" I heard myself ask.

"The lack of words pretty much says it," he shot back.

"Why do you care?" I snapped. "What does it matter? You're out here in my yard, throwing a fit about why I should or shouldn't like you. What does it matter?" I repeated.

"I just...it bothers me, okay? That you hate me. I mean, you obviously hate me for what I did to her, right?"

I thought a moment, choosing my words. "I don't hate you, but I certainly don't like you anymore for what you did to her."

"That was so long ago."

"But...Brady, it says something about you, alright?"

My words did something to him. He paused, nodding almost to himself. "I'll apologize to her if it would make things right."

"It would be a start."

I had clearly called his bluff as he cringed, clenching his jaw. I obviously wasn't saying what he wanted me to say here.

"Fine. Consider it done. I'll apologize to Regan. Then…then will we be good?"

I crossed my arms and stared at him skeptically from the bottom step. My heart clenched in my chest as I watched him watch me, his chocolate gaze piercing.

"Maybe."

My words clearly weren't what he wanted to hear. I watched as he tossed his head and seemed to fume where he stood, his cheeks turning pink and his hands clenching the drill. Brady stared at me for a moment, his dark-eyed gaze making me feel on edge. I hated that he was so moody and unpredictable – I never knew what he was going to say next, and that scared me.

And exhilarated me.

Exhibit 'A' of this was what came out of his mouth next.

"Go out with me."

Time stopped in the misty yard for a second.

I exhaled sharply, the idea bouncing around inside my head. I fought to think clearly, but coherent thoughts didn't seem to want to come to me. He raised his eyebrows expectantly, waiting for my answer. Something in my head wanted me to say yes.

"Shit," he muttered, shaking his head at himself. I watched as he grimaced and looked away, kicking himself for his words.

"No," I answered. I cringed at how shaky and unsure I sounded.

"Give me a one good reason?" he pleaded.

I stood on the top step, biting my lip. He walked over to me, his eyes returning to mine. With his hand outstretched, he touched my own hand with his. "Please. Just one good reason and I'll leave you alone."

"There are plenty of reasons, Brady."

"Give me one," he repeated. "A good one, not a cop out. Not some wimpy excuse. I want a good reason why you and I shouldn't at least go on one date."

"You're not good for me," I blurted out, my eyes wide. My hands shook as they twisted the empty plastic bag. "I just...I can't be around you. You're not...good."

The silence loomed between us as I stood on the top step, out of words. I didn't know where to go from there. I knew I couldn't have him, but I didn't want to give him up

I was being selfish and I knew it.

"So that's it, then? You're just going to believe everything your stupid friends told you about me?"

"I can make a decision on my own," I argued back. "I don't think that's any of your business what I do or don't believe. I just know the facts, Brady. And I know that I shouldn't..."

I stopped before I said 'like you'. Because putting it out in the open would make it true somehow.

But it was true.

My stomach twisted as I watched him stand in the side yard, eyes wild and face hot.

I had never felt so torn in my life. I wanted liking this guy to be okay – but I couldn't ignore what people had told me. He was bad news, plain and simple.

"Just...just go out with me, once. Once. One date, that's all I'm asking."

His voice was hoarse and pleading, and it made my chest ache.

"What would Regan think of that?"

He growled and tossed the drill to the ground, the metal clanging in protest. He stalked over to his makeshift work table and slammed his palm down on the wood with a resounding smack.

"I think we both know that you're not good for me," I whispered to myself, turning and heading inside. I quickly opened the kitchen door and ducked inside, instantly relieved to be away from him...and from those eyes. His deep, almost black brown eyes seemed to cut right through me – it was unnerving. I felt like he could probably see right through me. Leaning back against the door, I fought the urge to open it again and apologize. Call me crazy, but I had actually had fun with him in the backyard, talking casually and tossing him grapes. He was nice when he wanted to be.

And charming.

And funny.

And witty.

And...

I inhaled sharply, brushing away the solitary tear that had managed to fall out of the corner of my eye.

I shouldn't be crying over him.

Crying over him meant that...

Well, it meant things I didn't want to admit.

Sniffling once, I wiped my eyes again and retreated upstairs to my bed. It was barely noon, not that you could tell from the weather. It was clouded and misty, a light rain having just fallen. I barely noticed the rain now – even when it wasn't raining here it seemed like a light mist was always falling. I glanced out the window in my room that overlooked the front lawn, noting how my surroundings had a dewy appearance. With a grunt, I flopped back on my bed and sighed. I stayed there until I heard the front door open. I heard Patrick whistling jovially as he moved around downstairs, his voice echoing up the stairs as he called to me.

"Lexi? You home?"

I slunk down the steps to the kitchen where he was, peeking out the window. Brady was still here although he was packing up his truck.

"Your dad and I are making homemade pizzas tonight. Got all the fixings...want to join us?"

"Um...I'm not really hungry," I answered, only halfway listening to him. Brady hopped in his truck, slamming the door. I tried my best to look nonchalant and casual as I spied on him. I watched as he sat in the cab for a moment, not moving. After a few more seconds, he let the truck roar to life and sped out of the driveway. Patrick looked up, watching as his truck turned onto the main road.

"Brady seems to be doing good work. Have you talked to him much? He seems...nice."

I slid into a seat at the counter and gave Patrick a skeptical look. "Really?"

He shrugged. "Well, he's nice to me. Polite, I duno."

"Yeah, I've talked to him a few times. He's um...nice."

I was battling with myself whether or not to confide in my dad's partner. Patrick was kind and understanding, and I usually found he was a good ear to talk to when I needed it. He wasn't my parent, so I felt like he didn't judge me as much as my mom or dad would have – or if he did, he would never say anything. No, he was simply a good listener and usually offered solid advice. I felt like I was going crazy not talking about this with anyone else, so I took a chance and decided to say something.

Patrick gave me another look with his kind eyes. "Is something wrong? You got all...glum, all of the sudden."

I pulled the ends of my sweatshirt over my hands and rested my chin on them. "No, nothing's wrong. Brady's nice enough, he's just…well, can I tell you something?"

Patrick nodded as he took everything out of the fridge to make pizzas. His soft gaze watched me as he began preparing the food. Patrick was a good listener, I reminded myself. Maybe he could offer me some advice that would at least keep me sane.

"I um...I know Brady from somewhere else, actually."

Patrick looked at me sideways as he adjusted the setting on the dough mixer. "I had a feeling. Go on."

"Well...he's got this...reputation."

That earned me another look.

"He um...slept with one of my friends...in her moment of weakness. It was a long time ago though."

"Okay."

"Well...he kinda did her wrong. He wasn't that nice about it. She made a mistake and wanted nothing to do with him, but I guess when he saw her and stuff, he would like...say bad things. He was kind of mean."

"That's never good," he mused sympathetically, turning the mixer on. "But you said that was a while ago."

"Right, well...now he's...kinda flirty with me."

Patrick thought a moment. "How does that make you feel?"

I shrugged. "Confused? I guess...I feel like I should...want to be meaner to him. I want to hate him for what he did to Regan, but...I guess I'm mad at myself because I don't."

"How do you feel about him?"

I looked away, unable to look Patrick in the eye. "I like him. I mean...not...oh...He's nice to me, and makes me laugh and stuff, but at the same time I can never forget what people told me about him. He's a temperamental womanizer according to everyone else."

Patrick thought a moment, his soft brown eyes looking down at the counter-top in front of us. "Well...true. But...a couple things."

"Right."

"First, you said that was a while ago. People do learn from their mistakes and change."

"I guess."

"And...it's not that I don't believe what he did with your friend, I mean, that sounds feasible, but you have to keep in mind that not everything said about someone is true. Especially when what is said is from someone else."

I nodded, listening closely as he continued.

"I mean...I'm sure people said some rather exaggerated things about me and your father before we left town. Not to be mean, necessarily, but...for the sake of the story, you know?"

"Right, I guess that could be a possibility." I said.

"I'm sure not everything said is true. But keep in mind that it might not be untrue. You've always been a good judge of character, sweets, why would that stop now?"

I thought for a bit. "I guess I just don't understand why I'm so drawn to him."

"I get it. Believe me, I get that," he added wryly, checking on his dough. "But you always have to trust your gut. If something feels wrong, then it probably is. But how do you feel when he's talking to you? Or...flirting?" he asked with a wince. I could tell this wasn't his choice of conversation topic, but he was doing his best to help me out here.

A smile appeared on my face before I could stop it. "Good, actually. He's very fun to be around, but he's so moody! Hot and cold I guess. That's part of what scares me about him. He exhilarates me and…I don't know why I like him Patrick, but I really do. It just frightens me."

"It should. Emotionally unstable people can be toxic for you. But...maybe he could change."

I leaned back in my chair, giving him a skeptical look. "But people rarely change, Patrick. You've always told me that. When people tell you how they are with their words and actions, you've always told me to believe them. He clearly has. I need to accept that that's the person he is. I can't expect him to change how he is."

He shrugged. "Maybe Brady has never been given a good enough reason to change. Maybe that reason could be you."

x-x-x-x-x-


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Concrete Bitch Slap

Brady

In all my years as a self-aware asshole, I had learned my most important lesson in my life, albeit in the hard way.

I learned that there was only one thing worse than being angry.

What is it, you ask?

Being angry with yourself.

Knowing that you and you alone had caused yourself whatever trouble you were in was like punishment from Satan himself.

I had found my imprint. I was falling in love with her – okay, maybe just the idea of her – and she hated me. She had turned me down repeatedly and reminded me exactly why she wouldn't have anything to do with me.

And that, my friends, was because of my own actions.

It had been ten days since Lexi had spoken to me.

Ten.

I was in complete misery, and every time I saw or felt my imprint ignoring me, it only served to make it worse, not better. The fact that I had to go to her house every few days to work didn't make things much easier.

Each day, I would go to work and ignore my father, then after work, weather permitting, I would go to Lexi's house and be ignored by her. On the nights I had patrol, I would have to constantly watch my pack mates thoughts replay like a video recorder, as they tried hard not to think about the fact that I was finally getting what I deserved.

I guess it really wasn't so good to be me anymore. Not at all.

It wasn't long before I found myself on my parents' doorstep. I had checked to make sure my dad wasn't home, of course, before knocking on the front door. My mom answered and immediately flung her arms around me in a tight hug on the front porch. I could feel the longing in her hug as her thin arms embraced me tightly.

"I miss my baby boy. You need to come see your old mother more than once a month," she murmured into my shoulder. I bit my lip and hugged her tighter. A mixture of loneliness and desperation had driven me to her doorstep, but I wasn't about to admit that within the first five minutes of being there.

"Everything going alright?" I asked.

She shrugged, pulling me inside. "So so. Your father misses you."

"No, he really doesn't," I answered honestly, following her into the house. She set to work opening the fridge, pulling out everything she could think of. "You don't have to feed me, Ma."

She gave me a tight smile and opened a cabinet, pulling out a plate. "You're my son; of course I need to feed you."

I noticed the half-full glass of wine and her shaky smile and chose not to argue with her. "Fine. What's on the menu?"

"I'm making eggplant parmesan for dinner."

"Mom, I'm not staying for dinner. Dad will be home. You and I both know that's not a good thing. It's never going to end well whenever we meet," I answered shortly.

She sighed, her shoulders slumping as I made my decision known. I wasn't about to hang around and let my father show up and tell me how things should be again. My father was one person I'd rather not deal with, especially right now. I had avoided him for months now, and that wasn't a trend I was willing to give up just yet.

But I had come here. I couldn't leave without giving her something. I wouldn't give her peace with my father, but I would at least give her one thing. One good thing.

"I met a girl."

She looked up in surprise, her wine glass halfway up to her lips, one of her dark eyebrows quirked in question. "You...you met a girl?"

"Yeah, well..."

"Don't you...meet a lot of girls?"

I tried unsuccessfully to hide my smirk. My mother loved me unconditionally with my flaws and all, and despite her spending most afternoons and nights in a wine-induced stupor, she was far from stupid.

"Yeah, well...this girl is different."

"How?"

"She wants nothing to do with me actually."

My mother's eyes studied me carefully for a few seconds before giving me a concluding look. "This girl must not know you well enough then."

I shifted in my seat, staring down at the empty white plate. "She knows me pretty well, I think. She just gets me without any effort. I think that's why she wants nothing to do with me."

Both her eyebrows quirked. "So you met a girl...and you're already giving up on her? Doesn't seem like she's important. Well, any more important than any of the others."

"No, mom, this one is different. Very different. She uh...she's made for me. And me for her."

The words sounded rehearsed and ridiculous as I said them, the tips of my ears burning as I avoided my mother's gaze. She nodded, sipping her wine.

"Does this have to do with—"

"—yes," I answered quickly, not wanting her to say 'wolf thing'. "If I don't get this girl then...there won't be any girl for me."

She kept her gaze controlled as she stared at me, her brown eyes searching. "Well, that's it then," she said with an air of finality.

"What's it?"

"You'd better get this girl, no matter what. She's made for you, just like you are for her."

I felt myself fight a smile. Bless my calm, reassuring mother. I didn't get my fire from her. No, my fire came from somewhere else. And I was reminded of that as I listened to my father's fancy truck pull into the driveway. My eyes flashed up to meet hers as she gripped the counter top and looked away, her free hand gripping her wine glass so hard, I almost thought it would break. Silence settled over us as my father sauntered in, his arrogant gaze dark before he even walked into the room.

"I see our son found his way back to us," he commented, pressing his lips to my mother's temple. She nodded, giving him a weak smile. I shouldn't be there; I only caused my mother stress and triggered my father's rage.

"I just came to see mom."

His lips moved, fighting a smirk. "And not your father? You had no wish to see me, I presume."

"I don't think we have much to say to each other." I answered defiantly.

He sighed. "Brady, you've always been bull headed. It's a gift and a curse."

"What's your point?" I challenged.

"I just want you to see your potential. You could be a powerful leader, an inspiring one...you could do so much with your drive."

"Like you did?" I implied rudely, feeling my temper flaring.

He glared at me across the counter. "Is that a sarcastic question?"

I stood, pushing the chair back from the counter. "No, Dad, it's not. I want to be just like you when I grow up. I want to have a big fancy house, fill it with meaningless shit...I want a wife who cowers when I walk through the door and plenty of little kids to bully. Yeah Dad, I want to be just like you."

The truth hung in the air as I walked out, my skin already crawling. Not wanting to deny the inevitable, I jogged down the street until I was far enough away before darting into the woods. I stripped and phased, my thoughts a blur as I made my way into the wilderness. I realized, with a pang of pain, that phasing no longer had a feeling of instant relief tied to it. I was still just as on edge and agitated as I was before, and now, I had no way to calm it. I tore through the forest, my paws shredding the mossy ground beneath my feet as I made my way towards whoever was on patrol. Maybe they could help.

Sean, one of our younger and feistier wolves sensed me coming. He laughed to himself with his irritating cocky demeanor as he tested the mental flavor of my mind as I neared.

Yeah, I'll fight ya, he chuckled. Best out of three?

You're on, I thought, drawing nearer. Jake didn't like it when we fought for fun, but he wasn't the type of Alpha Sam was back in the day. Jake put more emphasis on free will and rarely Alpha commanded us to obey him. Sam, well...he used to stop a fight before it even got good. Jake would at least let us hash it out to take out some stress. Sean met me head on in a clearing not far from the river, teeth bared and claws sinking into the rocky shore. I flew at him a lot harder than he had expected, and it caught him a bit off guard.

Fuck! He yelled mentally, shuddering as I sank my teeth into his shoulder. I didn't bite him hard enough to break the skin, just enough to give him a pinch.

Don't be a little bitch, I laughed manically, grabbing him by the scruff. He yelped out loud and braced himself as we began to roll down a ravine. Saplings snapped, leaves flew into the air, and ferns were shredded as we rolled down the hill, barking and snapping at each other. We hit the bottom and took a second to stand, lunging at each other again. This continued for a few minutes until suddenly the air changed. He paused and so did I.

What the hell—

Sean barely finished his thought before the smell hit my nostrils.

Vampire.

And...one I didn't know.

Game on, I thought to him. He gave me a nod before we quickly devised a game plan. Trotting over to some bushes, he quickly ducked down and let his sandy colored coat blend him in with the bark and dried leaves. I stood in the middle of the small clearing where we had landed, waiting. My nostrils burned, but I tried to look nonchalant as the smell came closer. Within seconds, he was there, standing not twenty yards away. I played it cool, pretending not to notice as I twitched my tail and waited. He took the bait.

He was fast.

Before I could execute my plan, his body was careening into mine. I bit back a yelp as the force of his steely body made my ribs crack as he slammed past me quickly. Baring my teeth and snarling, I was prepared for him the second time as he came back for me. I snarled and reeled, only to be hit squarely in the jaw. I heard him laugh menacingly as he flew by, his laugh grating against my last nerve. I jumped up and shook my head, trying to get it on straight before he struck again.

This was...different.

Most vampires figured out that I was not just a freakishly over-sized wolf and ran for their lives once they realized I was there to destroy them.

But this one was...playing with me.

Sean leaped out before he could strike me again, his jaws barely missing the bloodsucker's head. The vampire laughed again, cackling to himself before jumping over me, letting one of his steely feet crack me in the jaw. I snarled and ran after him, my body screaming in protest. It was as if he knew staying put for combat was a mistake; he was dancing around and fucking taunting me.

Holy shit…did you see that?

I did, I groaned, sliding to a halt. I was in too much pain to chase him just yet, and I figured he would be back soon anyway. He didn't seem like he had gotten his fill of thrill yet.

He's teasing you. He wants to fight. Weird, Sean thought.

But he didn't come back.

I tried to ignore the pain of my recovering body as we worked together mentally to catalogue the scent. No, this one was new. I couldn't place it, and I certainly hadn't seen enough of the vamp to see if he was someone I already knew. We waited for almost an hour, patrolling the perimeter of the clearing and sniffing around, but he didn't come back. Sean howled for Jake, and within seconds, our Alpha was joining us with Quil in tow. They took over, summoning some of the younger wolves to come and help track the scent. I ignored Jake's internal eye rolling as we replayed our play fight, but he said nothing. Anyone that patrolled with me these days knew I was not in the best emotional shape over Lexi, so he let it slide without comment.

I was now free to mope.

I turned and ran home, keeping my senses sharp before finally phasing back into human form in the empty front yard. I walked inside, grateful the house was quiet and empty. Sometimes, I just wasn't in the mood for my roommates, and today was one of those times. After a hot shower, I opened the freezer and was elated to find an ice pack, which I promptly held against my face. Collapsing on the couch, I held the ice to my aching jaw and let myself wallow.

I sighed. All I wanted to do right now was to go see Lexi, to feel her presence and hear her heartbeat. That would be like an extra band aid, especially in times such as these.

But she didn't want to see me, and that was that. The finality of her words hit me as I sat moping on my couch. Fate was cruel. My imprint turned out to be someone who hated me for my past actions. Talk about bad karma. It certainly isn't good to be me, especially right now.

I debated showing up on her doorstep, but how would I explain that? Her fathers would want to know what the hell I was doing there after dark, and there certainly wasn't anything I could even make up to do at her house after dark. I lay there on the couch, pressing the ice against my jaw as I fought to think of something pleasant. My mind immediately went to Lexi.

What was she doing right now?

I let my mind wander as I thought about her and tried to think of what she was doing. Maybe hanging out with her dad? Or Regan and Claire? I growled to myself. If she was with those two, then it definitely wasn't going to end up in my favor if my name came up. Not that I thought Regan was badmouthing me – she wouldn't have to make anything up if she wanted to do that. All she would have to do was tell the truth. Pushing the thought from my mind, I tried instead to think of Lexi.

Lexi.

Her soft blonde hair, falling in pretty layers just below her shoulders...her skin, smooth and still slightly tan from California. Her bright, expressive blue eyes that reminded me of the sky on a clear day. Her voice – smooth at times, scratchy when she got excited or heated about something. Her teeth, straight and white except for one on her top row that stuck out a little bit when she smiled really big.

I pictured her smiling, the few times I had seen it.

And why had I only seen her smiling so little?

I was a shitty imprint, that was why.

When Claire saw Quil, her cheeks would turn pink without her even knowing. When Regan saw Seth? My wolf hearing had to listen to her heart take off like a hummingbird. When Lexi saw me? Her guard went up. And rightfully so. I was bad news, and she should never want me even if I selfishly pined for her to. Even if Lexi could learn to love me, could she stand to be seen with me? Could she allow herself to stoop to the level that dating the pack man-slut would drop her to?

I shook my aching face.

No.

She deserved better than me.

Her face haunted me each time I closed my eyes. I could remember every detail about her that I had never known about any girl, and we had barely even touched. I could still taste the grapes she had tossed me that day in the yard. The electric shock I felt when I grabbed her arm, her skin on mine.

Fuck, it was wonderful.

I wanted more. I wanted to know what it was like to have her fingers in my hair, her hands linked through mine, her lips reaching for a kiss. I didn't even want to sleep with her.

Well...okay, that's a lie. I definitely wanted to eventually sleep with her.

But that wasn't important to me right now – right now, I just wanted her attention. A chance. Friendship, trust, and all the other mushy things that came with an imprint. I wanted my other half. I wanted her next to me at night, greeting me in the morning, and calming me when I thought about my father. I wanted to be there for her too. I wanted to punch guys for staring at her ass, eat dinner with her fathers, and take her for rides in my truck. I wanted to kiss her, hold her, touch her, fight with her, make up with her. I wanted her to feel the fire of my touch and tremble until I gave it to her, all the while knowing it was me and me alone who could make her feel that way. I wanted a chance.

I guess you could say I wanted a lot of things.

Things I couldn't have.

Things I didn't deserve.

My face throbbed as it healed, the blow from the rogue vampire still aching. My blood boiled to think that I had gotten a concrete bitch slap from a fucking bloodsucker. I had never felt like a bigger pussy in my life. Getting an ass kicking from a vampire and being ignored by my girl – could it get any worse?

I found out the next day when I went to the jobsite at Lexi's house. In case you're wondering, yes. It could get worse. Much worse.

Upon arriving at Lexi's house, I let my supernatural hearing pick up what was going on in the kitchen. Her real dad was at work; his partner was in his study. Lexi was in the kitchen, pacing around as she talked on the phone, sniffling to herself.

"I'll be there this summer, I promise. I'm coming home then. Just please...please...I know, I know. It'll just be a few weeks, I..."

My thoughts went to the flowers I had sent her a few weeks ago. I had hoped she would blurt out the name of the guy she was talking to on the phone, mistakenly giving me a clue. She had to be talking to a guy from home – she kept promising to come back. My chest tightened as I thought about her leaving Forks. If she moved back to California, what would I do with myself? I've already imprinted, so I know I can't go far from her. The questionable magic that drew and bound me to her would punish me forever should I do that. If she did leave, would I retire?

I gulped to myself as I thought about it. I went through the motions of preparing for a day of work on the carriage house, trying to look inconspicuous. I hadn't thought about that yet.

Retiring.

I had been phasing since I was fourteen. I had just technically turned twenty four, although I wasn't sure I looked that old. My body was frozen looking twenty three or four – no sign of grey hairs, wrinkles, or anything else that would be a sign of aging. I thought of Sam, my former Alpha. His temples were greying, his face had slight wrinkle lines, and his joints ached. He retired to age with Emily.

Would I retire in a few more years to age with Lexi?

I wasn't sure. Like I said, I hadn't thought about it much. The thought of living until I found my imprint had been fine. I would stay young. What was that quote? "I get older but the girls stay the same age" That's how I thought of myself. I would stay the same age, able to pursue and sleep with girls of the same age, physically. However, that was before Lexi. She was a junior in high school. How old had I been then? Maybe seventeen, soon to be eighteen? I had a few years before she caught up to me in appearance, but time flies by pretty quickly. I had already known her for two months, and my progress was at level zero. I began to panic as I went to my truck and unloaded some tools.

Eventually, Lexi hung up the phone and grabbed her purse, flying out the side door. I looked up, but she refused to meet my gaze. It was now or never, I thought with a gulp.

"Hey, Lexi. Lexi!" I called.

She ignored me, racing to her car. She fumbled with her keys for a few seconds before unlocking it.

"Hey, can we talk?" I asked, jogging over to the car.

She thought a moment, struggling with her answer. "Um...no, Regan and Claire are waiting for me to go prom dress shopping in Port Angeles, and...besides...I don't think we should talk, Brady."

I gaped at her as she opened her car door and slipped inside. Her gaze was apologetic but cold as she closed the door and backed out of the driveway. I stood there for a few moments, unable to believe it. She really wasn't even going to give me a chance. Agony consumed me, and I was barely able to walk back to my tools as I replayed her words over and over in my head. I had failed before I had even begun.

My jaw clenched as I tried to think of something, anything that would change her mind. I drew a blank as I worked. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't think of anything I could do to get her to give me a chance. I had tried – she didn't even want to be friends. I was so consumed by my misery and immersed myself in work, to numb the throbbing ache in my heart, that I barely heard her car return several hours later. It was nearly dark out, but I didn't have the heart to leave. I knew I must look strange out here, working with nearly no light, but my supernatural eyes were helping me along. I had to have an excuse to be here when she arrived.

I heard her car door slam and her shoes against the concrete driveway as she approached. I looked up, noticing a garment bag in her hands as she stared at me. "You're still here?"

I nodded. "Yup."

She sighed, twisting the bag in her hands. "Brady, look, I—"

"You got a dress," I cut her off. I nodded towards the bag, and she shrugged. "So, you're going?"

Lexi shifted her weight, avoiding my eyes as she sighed. "Yeah, Prom is next weekend. I had to get something."

Silence.

I knew I was making an ass of myself, but I couldn't stop the words from coming out.

"Do you have a date?"

"No, I'm...I'm going stag. Just with friends," she said softly, biting her lip. We stood a good twenty feet apart, but I could still smell her apple scented hair. I wanted to run to her, hug her, and beg her to take me instead. But I stood still.

"Take me."

She balked at me. "You're joking."

"No, please...just take me as your date. You won't have to go alone, and—"

"Brady, no. Look, I...we can't be friends. Or anything else," she said, holding up her hand. She opened her mouth to speak again, but no sound came out as we stared at one another. She stopped, pressing her lips together as she waited for me to reply.

I felt myself quake. It was as if my body was rejecting her words, not just my mind. I felt my heart break as she stared at me, her eyes guarded. "But...just give me a chance, I...I want to—"

"No!" she yelled suddenly, closing her eyes momentarily. She opened them, the bright blue orbs staring at me in the light of dusk. "Just...no. Brady, I've told you that I can't...I just can't."

"Lexi, please!" I called, racing over to her. I grabbed her arm gently and turned her around to face me. "Just please, listen!"

"Brady—"

"Please!" I groaned, gripping her harder.

She fought it, twisting away in protest. "No, I won't. Now leave me alone, you psycho stalker!"

I dropped her arm like it was a white hot poker that had burned me. Her words rang out in the driveway, and I panicked as I saw one of her fathers glance at me from the kitchen window. My eyes were wide as I stared at her, the term 'psycho stalker' sinking in.

"Fine...fine...I'll never bother you again," I muttered, suddenly unable to look at her. I barely heard her whimper and duck into the house as I jumped into my truck. I sped out of the driveway, the engine barely a soft purr against the throbbing in my ears.

Hot tears burned against my eyes as I drove, threatening to spill over. As I parked in my driveway, I finally let them fall. Freely.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Giving In

Lexi

The scene on my porch played over and over again in my head as I arranged my hair in the country club bathroom, where our prom was being held. I was disappointed – I thought prom would be so much more than what it was right now. I guess going stag and only being at Forks High for less than a semester had something to do with it, but still...I had built the night up in my mind and couldn't help but feel it was a total letdown. Something seemed to be missing as soon as I stepped into the country club. I stared at myself in the mirror, barely able to see my own reflection. Brady's face as he said he would never bother me again kept replaying in my mind.

Well, at least he was true to his word.

I hadn't heard a peep from him since that day. The constant rain had kept him from working on our carriage house, not that I was complaining. I stared at my reflection in the mirror, my own cruel words from that day coming back to me. I realized the truth – I'd be paralyzed if I ran into him. I wouldn't know what to say.

But the crazy part was...I wanted to. Badly.

Shaking the thought from my head, I checked my phone for the millionth time that night. What was I expecting? For him to call? He didn't even have my number, for heaven's sake. I was definitely losing what was left of my sanity. I had asked him to leave me alone, and he had obeyed my wishes. So why was I disappointed? I'd never felt dumber in my entire life. I had made a mistake telling him to stay away from me, and now I was forced to live with it.

Regan's words from earlier ran in my head. "Lex, if you wanted to bring Brady, I would have been totally fine with it. I couldn't care less."

Part of me envied my friend for being so forgiving. Sure, it took two to tango; however, I knew Brady had been less than chivalrous about the situation in the past. But Regan didn't seem to hold it against him anymore. I guess for her, the hope that Seth would someday return her feelings were enough. She denied up and down to liking him, but I wasn't blind. I saw the way she blushed when he walked into the room. But did that alone make my strange fascination with Brady okay?

Shaking my head to clear my niggling thoughts, I grabbed a few glasses of punch and headed back outside to the gazebo where my friends were. I honestly didn't know how to feel. Or how to even pretend to feel, really. I handed Claire and Regan each a drink before leaning on the railing of the gazebo and staring out into the rain. I hadn't imagined rain on a night like tonight, but somehow it seemed fitting. I wasn't really in a 'prom' sort of mood, so the rain didn't bother me as much as it should have on prom night. What really bothered me was the ongoing conversation that kept going back to Brady.

"Brady's a moody bitch, Lexi, you should at least throw the guy a bone and talk to him," Zeke offered, walking up beside me. I gave him a grimace as Claire shoved his shoulder with a scowl. Regan shrugged and gave me a look that clearly said 'Whatcha gonna do'.

I tried my best to play it off.

"Ulgh, gross. He's done nothing but stalk me since we met. Talk about weird," I said, forcing the words out. They stuck in my throat, but I wanted to pay off my strange obsession with the boy I couldn't have. "I mean, he just randomly shows up wherever I go. He follows me around like a lost puppy. Lame."

I watched the faces of my friends as I spoke, and I think Zeke bought it by the way he chuckled. Claire and Regan, I'm not so sure. They both gave me apologetic glances before turning their attention elsewhere. I took a sip of Regan's punch as she rubbed my shoulder. I shook my head at my own stupidity. I guess I kept believing that if I said the words often enough, my mind would accept them. Nothing could be further from the truth.

I wasn't fooling anyone.

"Well, then you're really about to freak out..." Claire muttered behind me. I looked up, craning my neck to see what she was looking at. In the doorway that led to the outside where we were standing, was Brady.

"Son of a bitch," Zeke muttered.

There he was.

My stomach dropped to the floor, my palms began to sweat, and my heart started to race in my chest as I stood there, gaping at him. He had showed up after all!

Brady stood in the doorway, staring straight at me, his hands tucked casually into his tuxedo. I felt my jaw drop open on its own accord, and I could barely snap it shut. He looked...stunning. It was as if he walked straight out of the pages of Vogue, and here he was – to see me. My stomach was suddenly full of nervous butterflies and my heart began slamming against my ribcage. What on earth was he doing here? Was he here to see me? Of course he was, but why? A million questions began flying through my mind as I stood, unable to move. He stared at me from the doorway, oblivious to everything else. It was as if I was the center of his universe, the only thing he saw.

I gulped.

He took a few purpose-filled strides, arriving to where we stood in a matter of seconds. The breath I'd been holding came sweeping out of my mouth as I fought to remain in control. "What are you doing here?" I heard myself stutter. I was so nervous that my voice sounded like it belonged to someone else. I could hear the waver in it and that made me clench my fists.  
I had to be strong. I couldn't show him that he was my weakness.

My kryptonite.

Stay in control, Lexi. Don't let him get to you, I thought furiously.

Brady quirked an eyebrow at me, clenching his own fists as he stood near me, his eyes flashing down to my dress. I wanted to cover myself from his prying eyes; how dare he size me up like a piece of meat! My emotions got the better of me as I huffed angrily.  
I could feel my stony exterior crumbling as I tried to hold it together.

"I um...thought you might need a date for the prom."

I felt my jaw go slack for the second time. A flash of anger suddenly surged through me as I stood in front of him, oblivious to our friends. "What part of me calling you a 'complete psycho stalker' did you not get? Was I not clear enough in that assessment?"  
I watched him clench his jaw in a defiant yet incredibly sexy manner. I felt my knees quake in response, but I refused to let it show. We had an audience. He ripped his hand through his black hair, practically shoving the white rose he held in his hand at me. I took it and tried not to let my jaw drop.

Was this guy insane?

How many times had I shot him down?

How many times would it take?

He was no good for me.

No good for me, no good for me, I chanted in my head.

As if that would change a damn thing about how I actually felt.

"I heard you were going stag...thought maybe you'd change your mind if I showed up."

His hopeful words hung in the air as I cringed. Zeke shifted uncomfortably next to Regan, and Claire elbowed him sharply to keep him from talking. My eyes darted to theirs for help, but the looks on their faces told me that they clearly had none.

"You're...insane," I finally spat out. There. I had said it. Maybe now he would believe it and leave me alone.

But, looking at him there in his tux, still misty from the rain, his tan jaw clenched and his hair sticking up in all directions...I could barely finish my thought. Did I really want him to leave me alone? I couldn't even convince myself anymore. He was too much for me to handle, clearly. He didn't even appear surprised that I had called him insane – in fact, he looked like he knew he deserved it.  
He sighed, eyeing Regan with a leery glance. It was clear, without a doubt, that he was suspicious of what she had said about me by the look they exchanged, but I tried my best to look away.

"Look, just give me a chance, Lexi, I...argh!" he growled, his face growing redder. The tips of his ears were practically purple from his outburst, and for a moment I was almost frightened.

More than anything though, I was completely overwhelmed.

Very overwhelmed.

I brushed past him, still holding the rose, and rushed down the brick sidewalk towards the back doors of the country club. I had to get away from him before I did or said something I would regret.

I was scared – my resolve was wavering. I tore across the dance floor, the faces of my classmates blurring past me. Surely they were wondering why I was tearing through the place like I was on fire, but I didn't care. All I could think about was getting away from him. I burst through a set of swinging doors that led to a quiet hallway, my angry breaths the only noise beside the muted music.  
Seconds later, Brady burst through after me just in time to see me smack the wall with the white rose angrily.

"I'm out on a limb here, Lex."

"My name's Lexi."

"Lexi, whatever...just...come on. Please? I'm begging..." he stopped, swallowing roughly. I could tell he wanted to eat his words, but I was going to let him finish.

He clenched his fists at his side, shaking his head at me as he leaned on the opposite wall of the tiny hallway. "I'm...I'm begging you to just please..."

"Brady..."

His head tilted up, his dark eyes pleading. "Please. Give me a chance. You won't regret it. I swear."

My words were caught in my throat. I wanted to believe him, but...could I? I had been hurt so much lately – even if it was by family members, it still hurt. Could I take it again? What if Brady did the same thing to me that he did to Regan? Was this a knockoff plot of some stupid teen movie where he was only trying to get me into bed in the first place? I wasn't sure if I could stand to be devastated like that.

This was no movie.

Apparently, my silence was enough for him. He sighed heavily, his face growing redder again before he tore off. I heard the loud clatter of glassware being thrown to the floor as he raced back through the kitchen in the same way we had come.

Shoulders slumped, I sighed. That wasn't how I wanted things to turn out – at all. I hadn't meant to hurt him, even if he did deserve it. But I had. Leaning back against the wall, I examined the white rose that I had used to smack the wall. Its petals were still sweet smelling, yet irreparably frayed and bruised. "You look like what I feel," I told it, letting my hand drop by my side.

I was alone, and Brady had left. I had gotten what I wanted. Tonight had obviously been the final straw with him, and I wouldn't be shocked if he never spoke to me again.

That was what I always wanted – for him to leave me alone. So why did I feel so bad?

The next day, my eyes flew open at the sound of a hammer. Brady. The first thing they landed on was on that damn rose sitting by my pillow.

Shit, I thought. If those weren't perfect examples of bad juju, I'm not sure what was. Was life trying to bitch slap me? Sitting up, my thoughts were confirmed as my head pounded and my chest felt concave. I imagined that this would be what a hangover felt like, not that I would ever know. I resisted the urge to run to the window to see him – actually see him – for about fifteen seconds. Before I knew it, my hand was pulling back the soft, gauzy material of my curtains and I was peeking down into the driveway below. Brady was pounding away at the frame of the carriage house with a hammer. Who the hell uses a hammer anymore. Before long, the board he was hammering groaned and splintered against his blows, cracking miserably in two.

The board felt just like my chest. Cracking.

I watched him carefully, a painful burn settling in my chest. It was unlike anything I had felt before – like a dull heartburn. But this twisted and bended, aching as I stood there. Was I going crazy? What would happen if I went out there and talked to him? If he was smart, he would pummel me like I deserved. Or at least I felt like I deserved it. I had jerked him around enough, so I deserved anything he threw at me, really.

With a grumble, I shuffled back into bed and flopped down. Maybe more sleep would make me feel better. I slept off and on, my mind playing tricks on me as it tortured me with cruel dreams. I dreamt of a field of white roses that soon became doused in blood every time I took a step. The image was horrifying, so naturally, I wanted to get away. With each attempt of escape, the roses became tattered with the weight of the heavy, rust smelling liquid.

I gave up on sleep around two in the afternoon. It was useless. I couldn't escape Brady any longer, even if I wanted to. The gnawing feeling in my gut wasn't going away, and neither was the empty, hollow feeling in my chest. A quick glance at the rain outside told me Brady was long gone – it was too wet for him to work. I knew I had to do something – I didn't want to feel like this forever.

Picking up my phone, I haphazardly typed in a message.

Can we meet somewhere and talk?

My phone buzzes almost instantly.

Sure. I kinda expected this after last night.

Thanks, I typed back. After arranging a meeting place, I jumped into my car and left. I took the wet roads cautiously, navigating my way into Forks. When I pulled into the sole coffee shop in town, I threw my coat over my head and dashed inside. Regan was already waiting.

"Is everything okay?" she asked quietly, her green eyes worried.

I plopped down and nodded. She pushed something steaming and covered in whipped cream and sprinkles my way, which I gladly accepted.

"I need to talk to you," I said firmly, "about Brady. I'm going to give him a chance."

I didn't need Regan to respond. The expression on her face said it all.

"You're sure about this?" she asked skeptically, pushing her spoon around in her drink. Her tone is questioning, but not judgmental. I was kinda glad Claire wasn't here – I had a feeling she would have a tad more to say about it than Regan would.

I nod. "I...I have to."

She remained quiet, waiting for me to continue. I shifted in my seat and tucked my hair behind my ears and prepared to talk. "I just...I feel like I should. He has tried so hard, and...he makes me crazy. He's just always around and driving me nuts, but I look forward...I guess I am going nuts, I can't even finish a sentence I—" I stutter, unable to even get my thoughts out. "The thought of not giving him a chance is making me a hell lot crazier than the idea of giving him one. Does that...make sense?"

She nodded slowly, stirring her drink again. I was grateful that the local coffee shop was quiet that day. I knew I sounded like a mental patient, rambling on about something I shouldn't be. Forks had one coffee place, and it was a cozy knock-off Starbucks that served better coffee for less money. Normally I would be enjoying the eclectic little shop, but today I could barely keep my thoughts straight. I felt completely rattled, like I had a hundred shots of the espresso. My thoughts and words were jumbled and messy, and I knew I sounded like a lunatic.

"Strangely...yes," she finally said. "I do understand."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Seth," I state, and she just shrugs as if to say, 'duh.'

"I'm at the point where I don't know what to do. I want to avoid him because he was such a jerk to you, but—"

"Let me...stop you right there, Lex. You've got to make your own decision about him. Don't forget what I said, but...people do change."

I slumped down in my seat and stared at the sugary sprinkles as they melted into my whipped cream. "That's what Patrick said too."

"And isn't he usually right?"

"But is that the point?"

"No, but...I can tell you want to talk to him, Lexi. You wouldn't be here if you didn't."

"True."

"So why do you need my approval? If that's what this is about, then I say yes. Go for it. Give the guy a chance."

"But how can you say that after everything?"

She gazed out the window, a far-off look in her eyes. "I guess people just...move on. They forgive and just...move on. And I have."

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure. You wouldn't offend me if you dated him. Or talked to him. I've got other things to worry about."

"Right. Well...I just wanted to make sure. Girls aren't supposed to give guys like Brady the time of day after he did what he did to you."

She sighed. "Well...I was young and dumb and drunk, and I said yes. I was a willing participant, which at that point in my life, is believable, right? I mean...he's hot as hell, and I sure wanted him. It wasn't like he forced himself on me or anything. I went after him and didn't change my mind until after."

"I guess."

"It wasn't all his fault; I guess is what I'm saying."

"But back to what you said...about people changing. Do you think people can change if they're motivated?"

She nodded. "Some people, yes. Others, no. Are you going to let Brady show you he can change?"

I leaned forward, taking another sip of my drink as I mulled it over. Regan did the same, shifting in her seat.

"Look, you obviously want to talk to him and give him a chance. So why don't you? You'd at least feel somewhat sane again. I'd hope."

I gave her a wry look. "But I can't just hope he's changed. What if I get all...well... more invested than I already am and he just does the same thing to me?"

Regan leaned forward, her green eyes blazing into mine. "Don't let him."

After talking to Regan, I wasn't sure what to do. I had officially given up on resisting him – I was going to give him a shot. But how was I going to do that? I drove home in the late afternoon drizzle, utterly confused, a thousand questions blazing through my mind. Regan was clearly not against me talking to Brady, and had given me her blessing. I felt like a good girlfriend by doing that – the last thing I wanted to do was hurt one of my best friends.

Now that it was okay to talk to him, I wasn't sure where to start.

A sudden 'crack' of my tire and a rough jostling tore my attention back to the road. I swerved slightly and slammed on the brakes, just barely making it to the side of the twisting road. I jammed the gear forward into 'park' and gasped.

"What the hell?" I asked myself. I scowled, unbuckled my seat belt and got out of the car to take a look. I groaned when I saw how deep the pothole I ran over was. If I had been paying attention, I would have easily missed it, however...thoughts of Brady had consumed me. Mentally kicking myself, I growled and kicked the flat tire with a grunt.

Crap. Now I'm in big trouble, I thought with a sigh.

I hurried back inside the car and picked up my cell phone, groaning when I saw the no cell signal sign. Well fuck, this wasn't my day.

"Come on...come on..." I urged, jumping back out of the car. I waved the phone around in the air while pressing 'send', but to no avail. I was officially stuck. Stuck at the mercy of whatever lunatic that came driving by to rescue me. But this was Forks. People were nice and normal here, right?

Right?

I bit my lip and glanced up the winding country road. Unfortunately, we lived kind of far away from town, so I was really out of luck. I waited for fifteen minutes – still nothing. It was getting darker and darker out, and I had to think of something fast. But what? I was miles away from home and town. I began to panic as a rumbling sound could be heard in the distance.

My stomach sank as I realized that noise belonged to one truck and one truck only.

Brady.

It looked like we were going to talk, no matter what. I only hoped that after the way I'd treated him, he would stop to help me. I gulped as it came into view. The huge truck rumbled past, and I felt my heart sinking. I deserved that.

The squeak of his brakes made me look up, and I almost cried with relief when he pulled over. I leaned against my car, arms crossed as he jumped out and stalked towards me. His face was dark as he walked right past me, bending down to examine my shattered tire. His knees cracked as he bent down to take a look, his arm reaching out to touch the wheel.

I took a deep breath and spoke, silently praying that this wouldn't be any harder than it already was. "What are you doing out here?"

His eyes flashed up to me, their dark color appearing to glow in the approaching twilight. "Stalking you, apparently," he spat.

I felt a pang in my chest as his words hit me. I deserved that too. He frowned and looked at the tire again. "How far did you drive it after you did this? Thing is shot."

"I don't know...a few yards?"

He snorted. "More like a few hundred. I can see the pothole from here, why did you drive over that? Jesus," he groaned, "you bent the axle. Why the hell were you driving like that? Don't you know it could be dangerous?"

My emotions were quickly getting the better of me, along with his cutting words. "I don't know! I don't know, okay? I was just thinking and driving, and...if all you're going to do is be like this, then...then just go."

He cocked his head and stared at me, his expression softening. I listened as he kicked at the pavement with his boot awkwardly, heaving a sigh. I could tell he felt bad for snapping at me. I guess that was something I'd have to get used to – Brady clearly had a temper that he constantly allowed to get the better of him. I was flipping his triggers and I knew it.

"I um...I was going to your house to talk to your dads, actually. Get their choices on siding. I can give you a ride. I can't fix this here, you did too much damage. We'll have to call a tow truck."

I bit my lip to keep from crying. "Oh."

"Do you want a ride?"

I glanced up the darkening road, scared of what might become of me if I stayed. Of course I wanted to go with him – I had given in, finally. But the stubborn part of me wanted to stay just to prove a point. What that point was, I wasn't sure.

He shifted on his feet for a second before glancing up the road with a worried look. Something in his gaze changed as he surveyed the area around us with a thoughtful yet calculating stare. There was something strange about the way he scanned the road several times.

"What is it?" I asked. "This isn't a dangerous area, is it?"

"No, just…"

I looked up and frowned. "Why do you look like that then? Like you're expecting something to jump out at us?"

"No, let's just go, we shouldn't…if you don't want to go with me, then-"

"Why?"

His dark eyes ignited with emotion as his head jerked up. "You want to stand out here in the cold? It's going to rain harder soon, and...if you want to stay, fine, then stay. It will be pitch black out here in twenty minutes. I don't care anymore. I know I disgust you, alright? I know. Fuck….I just don't give a shit, Lexi," he snapped.

I groaned. "No, I meant why shouldn't we stay out here?"

His face changed at my question, realizing he had misunderstood and flown off the handle. "Oh...um," he looked around nervously, licking his lips, "wild animals. Other crap like that. This is Washington, not Laguna Beach."

"There are bears and things in California, I'm not stupid," I retorted.

He cocked his head and glared at me. "Right, and things like that were just hanging out in your backyard?"

"Well...no, but..."

He looked at me weirdly, frowning. "Anywhere can be dangerous. We're out in the middle of the woods, out in the middle of nowhere. Not that would stop-" he cut himself off, shaking his head. "Nevermind."

I frowned. This was Forks, not some ghetto after midnight. Why did he suddenly look so nervous to be out on the side of the road? Not that I wanted to particularly stay there, but still…now he had me curious. He didn't seem like he was talking about wild animals all the sudden.

"Not that that would stop what?"

"Nothing. We can talk about it later, just-"

"-You're being weird. What are you talking about?" I demanded.

"We shouldn't stay out here. Come on, I'll take you home. Just get in the truck," he snapped.

After grabbing my purse, I followed behind him silently. He opened the door to his truck, and I ungracefully climbed inside, wincing as he slammed the door. He was angry and had every right to be. But I had seen softness in his eyes too. What did it all mean? I couldn't take his mood swings sometimes. I deserved it. He has every right to be angry with me. I've blown him off countless times, I reminded myself.

He jumped in the driver's seat and slammed his own door shut, casting yet another dark look in my direction.

Oh yeah. He was pissed.

Brady angry was quite the sight, I realized as he drove. His face turned a little darker, his eyes dilated until they were almost black, and a vein in his forehead popped out. If I didn't hate it so much it would be almost comical.

Turning the key in the ignition, his loud truck roared to life and we started down the road. It was getting darker now, and the light mist of rain that had been falling was quickly turning into a heavy downpour. I guess I was glad Brady had come by – as un-scared as I pretended to be, the side of the country road was not where I would spend my ideal evening. Leaning back against the seat, I tried to relax for the rest of the drive home. It didn't look like he was going to talk to me, and that was fine. Every time he did, he just snapped at me or went off. He was unbelievably blowing hot and cold all the time.

I was never sure which version I would get.

"I'll call a tow truck for you when we get back. My friend owns a shop."

His voice cut through the silence, startling me. I gaped at him, shocked that he was suddenly speaking to me in an oddly calm fashion. I felt like I was on the end of a yo-yo, and he was the one holding it.

"Oh um...okay. Thanks."

He nodded. "Not too much further. I know you don't want to be here."

I sighed. "Can you pull over?"

His head whipped around to stare at me. "What? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. I just want to talk to you," I snapped. "I don't want to do this in my driveway with my dads watching. Now pull over."

He grunted in response and pulled over to the road shoulder, slamming his truck into park. I sighed and clenched my hands, picking my words carefully.

"Well?" he snapped.

I turned my head to scowl at him. I reached up and smoothed down my frizzy hair. I normally straightened it or put it into loose curls, but the local weather didn't do much for it. I was suddenly very self-conscious as I tried to muster up my courage. "I don't want to stay away from you...anymore," I mumbled.

He was quiet for a few moments, and of course it felt like an eternity.

"What?"

"You heard me."

He leaned back against the seat, a tiny breath leaving his mouth. "What changed your mind?"

I shook my head in frustration and sighed. "Nothing, just...a lot of things. I don't want to date you, I just...we could be friends," I stammered. I took the chance to look at him and found his eyes wide in surprise.

"You mean that?" he asked in an incredulous tone.

"I said it."

"We could really be like...friends? You won't hate me?" he continued asking, looking at me like I had lost my mind. I had honestly expected him to hate the whole 'lets be friends' routine. Maybe he didn't actually want to get into my pants and really did want to be friends.

"No, I never hated you. I just….was trying to make it easier to avoid you by being…off-putting."

His eyebrows shot up his forehead as he stared out the front window of his truck. "I think that's putting it lightly."

"Well….it's easier to avoid people if you…I don't know. I don't know how to do this."

He smiled softly and gripped his steering wheel. "Friends," he said reverently, his voice soft.

My shoulders slumped. "You're like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, you know that? Yes, we can be friends. I never hated you. I just...didn't know how to handle your...attention."

He sighed. "I'm sorry. I have a tendency to be a little...to come on a little strong. I don't mean it. I just...I'm not good at relationships."

I shifted uncomfortably on the worn seat. "I said I don't want to date. I meant...whatever I meant. I just want whatever this is between us to stop and just...let's just be friends."

"What's between us?"

"We drive each other crazy!" I exclaimed. "We fight and bicker and pick on each other."

He smiled. "It's hot."

"Brady," I chided. "Friends."

That seemed to be enough for him. "You mean it?"

I nodded, looking forward again. His eyes were too much to handle right now, trapped in the truck with him. Him and his delicious, masculine scent. I inhaled the smell of pine and some kind of masculine soap, reveling in the way it lingered on my senses. I didn't trust myself to not say or do something even more stupid than I already had.

"Friends. Now can we go home?"

He nodded, pulling onto the road. He glanced in his rearview a few times, but I was too preoccupied to realize it. He seemed happy that we had agreed to not hate each other. By the time we pulled into my driveway, the silence between us was looming. Forgiveness seemed to linger in the air, but we were unsure about what to say about it. It was weird, really. I'd had the idea of pushing him away in my head for so long that I didn't know how to be friendly.

"I have to talk to your dads," he explained when he put the truck into park. I nodded and let myself out, following him up to the side door. He opened it and gestured for me to go first. I walked in to see Patrick and my dad standing at the kitchen counter, cooking dinner.

"Lex," my dad said brightly, his eyes darting behind me, "and Brady. Did you two...?"

"I hit a pot hole and bent something—"

"Her axel."

"Right, and...Brady happened to be on his way over, so he gave me a ride. That's all," I said quickly, avoiding Patrick's questioning gaze. My dad nodded, glancing over at Brady.

"Did you need something, son?"

Brady nodded, pulling out a heavy looking binder with a bunch of siding samples to show to my dad. I walked over to Patrick and gave him a smile. "What's cooking?"

"Vegetarian vegan lasagna...or something...your father is on a vegan kick."

I wrinkled my nose. "Is that a gay thing?"

He chuckled as he sliced up a tomato. "No, thank you, it's not. My favorite thing to do is to grill a piece of red meat and then gnaw it down to the bone. Your father...he's experimenting."

I bit back a laugh and watched as Brady explained the various differences in the samples to my dad. I'm surprised that he actually sounded quite knowledgeable and well-spoken – I'd never actually seen the business side of him before. Seeming to sense my eyes, he glanced up and caught me looking. I looked away quickly and mentally kicked myself. Only hours before, I'd agreed to let myself be friends with him – now here we were in my kitchen exchanging 'looks'. I picked up a piece of tomato and slipped it into my mouth, chewing it thoughtfully. What would being friends with Brady entail? He answered that question as I walked him to the door an hour later. We were getting ready to eat, and he had politely declined my dad's invitation to dinner.

I breathed a major sigh of relief on that one.

"Your dad is calling a tow. It's being taken to my buddy, Jake's shop. I'll take a look at it tomorrow."

I leaned against the door and frowned. "You do cars too?"

"Yeah, old hobby. We all kinda hang around the shop."

"We?"

He balked. "Oh, yeah...me and some of the guys from the rez. I think Jake bought the shop, hoping we would go there and play with cars instead of getting into trouble when we were teens."

"Oh," I said slowly. "Well...I'll see you around, I guess."

He gave me a strange, lingering look but nodded. "Yeah. Around. As friends."

I gave him a weak wave and let the door shut. "Right. Friends," I reminded myself. "Just friends."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: Starting Over

Lexi

Things between us were cordial after that. Another week passed where we would smile and say 'hey' to one another as we came and went. He would come inside and eat lunch on days I was home and not hanging out with Regan or Claire. As he packed up his tools one Saturday afternoon, I walked out to say goodbye.

"Finished?" I asked, digging my hands into the sleeves of my shirt. It was summer in Forks, but on rainy days, it still got down to the sixties. He nodded and wiped the sweat off his brow.

"Yeah, outta materials 'til Monday. Tell your dad, okay?"

"Sure."

I watched as he tucked a pencil behind his ear after scribbling something down in the binder he always carried. He was always jammed with samples, receipts, and bits of paper, and it all looked like an unholy mess.

"What?" he chuckled, noticing my stare. I curled my toes against the bottom step where I stood barefoot, the cold wood making my legs pebble with goose bumps.

"Just wondering...I bet your house is a mess."

"Is that a statement or a question?" he quipped, flashing his white teeth. I tried not to visibly shudder as his smile did things to me that I wasn't fully ready to acknowledge. I looked at my feet before I looked back at him.

"Just a statement," I laughed, "Why?"

"Care to see it for yourself?" he flirted.

I rolled my eyes and gave him a look that showed how disgusted I was at his blatant invitation.

"What? Friends get to see their friend's houses!"

"Brady, get a life," I quipped.

He howled with laughter at getting a rise out of me as he packed up the rest of his tools. I caught myself grinning at the sound of his laugh – I had heard it so rarely and it was a nice sound. I also found myself hoping to hear it more.

"What are you up to for the rest of the day?"

"Me? Oh...um...the theater in Forks is playing 'The Notebook'. Might go see it."

"Wasn't that in theaters like fifteen years ago?"

"Yeah, but the theater in Forks plays classic old movies if nothing new is out."

Brady guffawed loudly, loading his saw into his toolbox. "Classic? A classic is 'The Godfather' or 'Shawshank Redemption'. A classic is not Nicholas Sparks and whatever drabble he cranks out every fifteen minutes."

My jaw dropped. "'The Notebook' is one of the best love stories of all time!"

"Girly drabble," he sang, rooting around in the chest for something. He winked at me over his shoulder, which only infuriated me more.

"You wouldn't know a good movie if it slapped you in the face. That's a great love story; I don't care what you say."

"Are we really arguing over a movie?"

"The best movie of all time," I insisted.

He snorted. "Lame."

I laughed and cocked an eyebrow at him. "Oh, and like you're so cool? What are you going to do? Drink beer and play video games?"

He slammed the toolbox on the back of his truck shut and laughed. "That's a perfectly acceptable way to spend an afternoon. In fact," he quipped, looking at me with a bright eyed smile, "that's exactly what I'm going to go do. Have fun with your girly movie."

I was about to say something sarcastic that bordered on mean when my phone buzzed in my pocket. Whipping it out, I frowned when I saw my mother's number on the caller ID. Brady watched me as I answered and I turned away.

"You know friends also have each other's phone numbers!" he called out as he jumped into his truck. I angrily waved him away and darted into the side door.

"Mom?"

"Who was that?"

"Erm...no one. Just...nothing. What's up?" I asked, glancing nervously around the kitchen. I'm not sure why I felt that way – my dad was out and Patrick was at work. I always wanted to be alone to have a conversation with my mother as I knew they never went well.

"Tired of the rain yet?"

I sighed, holding my thumb and pointer finger to my temple and pulling the imaginary trigger before using it to rub the spot. I could already feel a headache coming on. "No, mom, I'm not."

She sighed. "Well, I'm tired of not having my baby here."

"You've got other things to keep you occupied, I thought."

"I know, but...we miss you. You have two little brothers that wonder where you are."

"Then you should tell them to Skype with me and gently remind them their sister has gone to live with their dad. Simple mom, don't make it...not simple."

"You promised them you would visit this summer, Lexi. You promised me. Is it so wrong for us to want you to visit once in a while?"

"No. I know I promised. It's just that things here got..." I trailed off, pulling the kitchen curtain back long enough to see Brady's taillights as he left the driveway. "Complicated," I spat.

My mother inhaled. "Is this about a boy?"

"No, mom, no. I just got settled in here and didn't want to leave. Forks is nice."

"But its Washington," she said with her voice laced in disgust. "How can you ever be happy there? It's dull, rainy and dank."

"I'm happy," I insisted, "I have great friends, I went to prom, and I'm one of five blonde girls in my grade. I'm not just another kid here, alright? The school is tiny, and the teachers are nice and...I like it. I miss home in California, but...this is my home now too."

She sighed. "Will you at least consider...a short visit?"

I nodded, knowing she had me there. I had promised my little brothers I would come home to visit sooner rather than later and now was as good a time as any. After she asked how my father and his 'friend' were doing, I asked her to purchase me a round trip ticket to California. After the mental anguish I've been through, blowing hot and cold, with Brady, this visit might be a good chance to finally clear my head.

Several hours later, I was halfway through a box of popcorn, and Noah was hanging by one hand off the Ferris wheel. I sighed and leaned my head back against the seat of the Forks theatre. I had paid my dollar to see 'The Notebook' for the fiftieth time, and it was still worth every penny. The place was practically deserted, save for a few couples in the back, and I doubt they were doing much watching anyway. I kind of had the place to myself.

That was, until the seat next to me moved. I was about to give an annoyed look to the person who would sit right next to me in an empty theater, until I realized who it was.

Brady grinned sheepishly at me, flashing his white teeth in the dark theatre.

"I thought you hated this movie," I whispered as my stomach did a nervous flop. He reached over, grabbing a handful of my popcorn and grinned again.

"I do hate this movie," he replied in a loud voice, earning him several urgent sounding "sshhhs". He just laughed and leaned back in the seat beside me.

"Why are you here?" I asked quietly. I wasn't whining or being mean – I really wanted to know. "I know you think this is cinema graphic garbage."

He shrugged. "You're here. Can't be that bad," and turned his attention back to the screen. And that was it. He watched the movie in silence, only snorting when Allie was a bitch.

"Looks familiar," he grumbled as they fought.

I gaped at him. "You're serious right now?"

He chuckled. "Sure. The similarities are uncanny! You even look like her when you scream at me and your voice gets all pitchy."

"I do not get pitchy. This isn't about me, so...Allie is a teenage girl, she can't always help who she yells at. Look at her, she's just...she wears her heart on her sleeve and Noah stomps on it," I whispered.

"He just wants to show the rich girl a good time. Who can blame the guy?"

"They fight like cats and dogs."

"Well yeah, but look at them...she's all hot and bothered when she runs into her house," he chuckled, glancing at the screen.

I grinned. "You have seen this movie then?"

Brady nods. "A few times."

"You like lovey dovey movies?" I whispered.

He snorts. "No. Just like a story where the scruffy guy gets the good girl."

"Right."

"He needs to not be such a puss and give in. Just let her yell and move on with it."

"He yells right back at her! At the end where they...I can't even talk about this," I giggle.

"Poor guy. Just wants to show her a good time, and she goes and gets her parents involved. Like he wants to go to this stuffy dinner..."

We laugh and whisper through the movie, arguing about Noah and Allie, and for the first time, I am completely relaxed around Brady.

"Well, Noah deserves it sometimes. He's such an ass to her!" I hiss.

"Well yeah, but she eggs him on and flips his triggers. She likes to get him angry," he says, turning to face me. Our faces are inches apart, and I can feel his warm breath on my cheeks. I take a deep breath and suddenly realize we're not talking about the movie anymore.

Or how lame it is.

He stares at me, his dark eyes blazing into mine. Every time the screen changes and the light flickers, I see more or less of the beautiful angles of his jawline and strong nose. Oh, get a grip of yourself, Lexi, I thought. I gulped and fired back, "But maybe she's just not sure how to take him. She's never...been in love before, and Noah seems like he's been around the block a few times. That's very intimidating."

Brady stared at me. "But he's never met anyone like Allie before. Maybe he's rough around the edges because he didn't have the best life, and...he's been looking in all the wrong places for the right girl."

"Then...then I guess it isn't his fault. But...he should be more patient with her. She's just a lot younger than him and...scared."

Brady swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing in the darkness. "Well, that's not his fault or hers. They just...met at the right time, and it was love at first sight. How can you argue about that?"

I stared at him again, trying to gauge what we were actually talking about. I wasn't even sure anymore. Goose bumps rose up on my skin as he stared back at me, my tongue caught in knots.

"I...I guess I can't," I whisper back, turning back to the screen. I slowly exhale, still shaking slightly. My heart is pounding against my ribcage, and I'm strangely afraid he can hear it. Brady leans back in his chair, chuckling to himself as it creaks. We sit in silence for the rest of the movie, the sappy love fest playing out on the screen. Brady snorts at the cheesy parts, and I elbow him, trying not to laugh.

Then the rain filled and the steamy sex scene at the end of the movie starts. I feel my eyes widen as I'm suddenly hyper aware of Brady's presence right next to me as the smut unfolds. Trying not to fidget, I bit my lip and stared straight forward, an awkward feeling settling over me. Brady is still as well, his breathing slow and even as he watches. The tension between us is tangible as Noah and Allie roll around on the bed together, moaning and ravishing one another.

I was actually relieved to get to the end of the movie this time, which I'm sure no one ever was.

The lights came on as the credits roll, and I exhale heavily, sneaking a glance at him. He's looking right at me, an expectant grin on his face. "You didn't cry."

I shrugged and stretched. Truth be told, I was too preoccupied with Brady to even think about crying – as bad as I felt watching Noah and Allie die as old people, I had barely been aware of what was going on. I was too worried about what Brady was doing or thinking to even pay much attention.

"Where to now?"

I snorted. "Um, home?"

"You do realize it's like seven, right?"

"Oh, um...no?" I squeaked. He followed me out into the lobby of the tiny theater, his eyes bright and his gaze hopeful. The electricity between us was practically tangible. I gulped back my fear.

"We could go down to the beach if you want. We'll have sun for another hour or so. It's not California, but..."

"It's okay. I left California, remember? I wasn't dragged by my ankles out of the state, I left willingly," I reminded him. He nods and claps his hands together excitedly.

"So you'll go? To the beach? With...me?"

I nod. "You're driving. I'll get my dad's car later. Deal?"

He laughed and motioned me to the parking lot.

We drive along the coastline in his big, rumbling truck, the wind racing through the open windows. I chew my lip and stare at the trees as the green whips by, trying to figure out what all of this means.

I like him. I'm giving him a chance.

I clench my hands in my lap and sigh. Oh hell. I'm falling for him and I have been since day one. That's why I've been such an asshole and I know it. Peering at his profile as he drives, I press my lips together and observe him as he speeds along. For the first time, Brady looks content. I can't help but hope I have something to do with that.

He pulls off on a dirt road that I instantly recognize – it's the same place we met. He watches my face to see if I remember, and I smile at him in response.

"Giving this place a second go, eh?"

He bobs his head as the truck bounces along the narrow dirt road. "Maybe this time you won't call me….what was it? A dog? How fitting," he chuckled under his breath.

He pulls through the trees and the air in the truck changes. Up until now it smelled like woods; cedar, leaves, rain. The smell of salt greets me and I'm already remembering that night. The first night I met him I knew he was something, someone important. I just didn't know how. I swallowed the lump of chagrin in my throat and hopped out when he parked. The air was salty and warm, the summer humidity cloaking around us.

"You're not a dog," I insist, giving his shoulder a light shove. He laughs and gives me a wide grin, showing off his white teeth and defined jawline. "You just….act like one sometimes."

"I definitely do," he admitted, "but at least I'm cute, right?"

"And so modest."

"Well of course."

I follow him to the familiar place where the bonfire had been that fateful night. I can still see the remains of where the fire had been. The ashes had been blown and scattered with the wind, but I could still remember the way the beach wood had burned bright blues and greens from the salt. I sat on a large fallen log that had been drug up to the spot and watched as Brady straddled it beside me. He was close; too close.

I sat there self consciously as he studied my side profile. "You're really beautiful. You know that though, don't you?" he stated.

I turned my head to frown at him. "You usually don't tell friends they're really beautiful."

Brady unsuccessfully bit back a grin. "Girls love to hear that shit."

"I'm not most girls," I teased. "But thank you. I mean….thanks."

He chuckled to himself. "Learn to take a compliment, shit….I'm being nice here."

"I know, I know. I…uh…now that we're here I guess I should apologize."

"Well don't do anything for my benefit," he laughed.

"No, I….I was mean before. I didn't have to be. I don't have a lot of…guys don't…erm…" I trailed off, unsure of my words. I wanted to say 'I don't have a ton of experience with aggressive guys', but I couldn't seem to find the right way to say it without sounding like such a virgin. Most of my experience with guys had been crushing after them relentlessly for months and hanging on their every word. Then when they inevitably asked out a girl that wasn't me, I would spend weeks on end beating myself up about it. It was a never-ending cycle. The fact that Brady was still around and interested in my quirky little self was still a mystery.

"Why do you like me?" I asked finally.

He balked, his eyebrows shooting up his forehead. "Um….what? I thought we were friends now. 'Just friends', as you put it."

"Right, but….."

"I get what you're saying. Um…I guess that's why I brought you down here. You don't have a curfew or anything, do you?"

I glanced at him skeptically. "Why? What are you doing to tell me? Must be one hell of a story."

He gave me a wry smile and nodded. "Yeah, something like that."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: Confessions

Brady

I thought for a few moments, trying to decide what to tell Lexi. I knew she wasn't ready to hear the whole wolfy story just yet, but...I knew I owed her somewhat of an explanation for my strange fascination with her. She had been witchy to me, and I had been an arrogant son of a bitch to her...I think it was safe to say we were both in the wrong. We needed to start over. Before we even started, if that makes sense. I just wanted things to finally be right between us, no matter how long it took.

"I um...I know my background is kinda...erm...bad."

She snorts. "We're not going to talk about this again, right?"

"What do you mean?"

Lexi stared at the ground in front of her, curling her toes inside her shoes. "I mean….I know about you, Brady. It's a small town and….I mean I know. It's not a secret at this point, you know?"

"I know that you know about me…and my ways. But…I hope that's all in my past."

She nodded. "I kinda do too. I want to be friends, Brady. I….I don't feel right when we're fighting and being horrible to each other. I know I said some things that I'm not proud of to you, and I'm sorry. But I want us to build a friendship off of this."

"Oh."

"We're just friends, right?"

"No. I just...well...sorta. I mean...I know right now we're...'just friends' or whatever you say, but I was hoping that maybe someday...you might want to be more. And I wanted to explain myself. Put all of my shit on the table. That way you can…I duno, make a better choice."

I watch her watch the tide rolling in. It was low tide, so the water was further out than normal and the view was certainly prettier. Above us, the sun was setting brightly and reflecting off some dark storm clouds in the distance. It somehow felt like a metaphor for my life. Sunlight sometimes, but with a danger of a storm lurking in the distance. Yup, that pretty much summed it up. Lexi sighed, chewing on her lip.

"I guess that's alright."

I smiled to myself. She didn't say no.

"I don't want to give you the wrong idea though. I still think we'd be better off as friends."

"Why?"

"Well, to be honest…you're so much older than me. I'm still in high school."

I scowled at the sand. "I'm not that old."

"Old enough for it to be illegal?"

"The age of consent is sixteen in the state of Washington," I spat lamely. Lexi bit back a snicker.

"Enough about age. You're older, that's a fact."

"Right, well...I guess I should start off by saying that I'm a spoiled brat – always have been, always probably will be."

"Fair enough," she chuckles, leaning forward to play with her shoelaces. She was wearing a beat up pair of pink converse today with her skinny blue jeans and cardigan, and she always managed to pull off the 'cute and quirky' thing without even trying. Before her, I didn't even know I liked cute, dorkish girls that wore sneakers and cardigans. I'd always been a miniskirt and hooker heels kinda guy myself, but I suppose there was a first time for everything. I sighed and tried to find the right words to tell my imprint why I was the asshole I was or have become over the years.

"I mean...my life was easy up until...things changed," I admitted, not wanting to go much deeper than that. "I never had to work for much – things just came easily to me, and I took it for granted. Sports were easy, school was easy, being popular...things just kinda came to me on a platter. Then...then everything changed."

"What happened?"

I shrugged. "Life."

What I really wanted to say was, I was sitting down at dinner with my mother, and I phased into a wolf because she teased me for eating so much. Suddenly I had been thrown into a world that I didn't think existed before then, and I no longer belonged to myself. I belonged to a pack. I no longer made my own decisions or thought about anything else – always the pack. My life was patrols, vampires, shape-shifting and battles...it was no longer about me. Call me crazy, but a change like that does something to you.

But then, something else had happened. With my changed body came more attention. Aggressive attention, in fact, from the opposite sex. I loved it. Hell, I thrived on it. It had always been there before, but now it came in overwhelming numbers. I had quickly become a man-whore.

"That'll happen," she offered, squinting out at the sunset. Her blonde curls blew in the breeze, making her fresh, green apple scent waft towards me. I bit my lip to keep from drooling. Even if this girl does sometimes make me want to drive my fist into a concrete wall, she was still my imprint, regardless.

She was still made for me and me for her.

"I just...nothing came easily anymore. Well, 'cept for girls. Girls still came easily," I snorted. "I guess I became somewhat of a man-whore."

"Somewhat," she muttered, picking up a stick.

I frowned at my own words as I said them out loud for the first time. This was something I had never admitted to anyone before. Hardly even myself.

"Hey, enough with the snide comments, I'm being candid here," I chuckled, giving her shoulder a light shove. She grinned, shoving me right back before returning to drawing circles and squiggles in the sand with her stick. "I'm coming clean. I was a whore. I would sleep with anything that had the right anatomy, okay?"

Lexi wrinkled her nose and bit back a comment.

"Thank you," I said, giving her a stern glare. "I was looking for something in life, and I didn't know what. So I filled it with booze and women. Things like that make you feel really good for a while, and...and they make the pain go away. But it always comes roaring back, ready to kick you in the ass. Every time I would party and drink and have sex with all these girls I'd feel like absolute shit the next day. Days, sometimes. And the only thing that would make me feel any better was to go out and do it all again. Each time the...the wound just kept getting bigger and bigger. I didn't even care. And for a while, all I wanted to do was just exist and figure shit out later. I guess...I guess I thought 'later' part would never come."

I watched as the tip of her stick paused in the sand, her gaze thoughtful. She wasn't saying anything, just listening. I hoped I wasn't scaring her off, but I needed to get this off my chest if we were ever going to have a fair shake at things. Even if it was just friendship. At this point, I would take anything.

"I guess I never thought my decisions would catch up to me."

"And did they?"

I could only nod.

"I was like a child. You know how kids are desperate for attention sometimes...just so desperate for it that they do anything to get it? Like even bad stuff?"

"They act out, yeah," she agreed.

"Well, that was me. Only there was no parent. No one really cared about me. I mean...that sounds bad. My mom loves me, my friends care about me, but...no one actually called me out on it. No one sat me down and told me that I was a fucking loser for being such a destructive dick. I'm not saying I'm one hundred percent cured, I still have my moments. But I'm a lot better than I was. I just...have never had anyone, really, to lay it all out for me till you came along," I chuckle.

"I guess I'm glad?" she laughed.

"Right, well...I was an ass. I was. But nothing mattered to me when I was on a roll like that. You know that saying, 'it takes ten times as long to put yourself back together than it does to fall apart?' Well...those words have been haunting me now for a long time. I should probably have them tattooed on my forehead to remind me. Deep down, I hated what I was doing and who I had become, but I always thought I would fix it later, like I said. The problem...the underlying issue would always be there for me to fix later. But I felt like I was frozen." Technically, I was. "I felt like…I could just keep pushing it all down, deeper and deeper. I never thought all of the things I did would come back and bite me. If you're frozen, nothing ever moves, so the shit just kept building up and never catching up with me. But eventually it did, because something I never thought would happen finally happened. When I met you..."

Lexi turned and looked at me, inching closer to me on the log. "But what if I never had come to Forks? Would you have stayed like that forever?"

Yes, probably, I thought with a sigh. That answer petrifies me.

I shook my head and shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe. But when I met you, something changed in me. I didn't want to be like that anymore."

"That's good. I mean...I'm happy I could help."

I sighed. "You gave me a reason to want to change...something. For the first time, I felt like I had something to look forward to. To work for...a reason to better myself."

Lexi sighed, her breath low and even. Slowly, she slid her hand across the distance between us and covered my hand with hers. I looked at her questioningly and she offered a sad smile. "I'm really honored that I could do that for you. I really am. That's...the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me."

"It's the truth."

"One question," she finally said, "why?"

"Why what?"

"Why me?"

I groaned internally and shrugged. I was not ready to tell her my wolfy secret or that she was my imprint. I needed more before I could do that. But how would I explain everything else?

"You just...you woke me up, I guess. I felt like I was in this self-destructive fog and...when I met you that night...I felt like I was finally waking up. That sounds crazy, but...that's why I've been acting like such a lunatic. I couldn't just forget the girl that finally made me feel something again."

I placed my other hand on top of hers and watched for her reaction. She would surprise me – she was the only girl who did. She never said or did what I thought she was going to, and I think that's part of why she was my imprint. Karma didn't want me to end up with someone vanilla and perfectly predictable.

I had been thrown a loop and I deserved it.

"Look, Lexi…I get that you're afraid of getting too close to me. You should be….I mean…I would be, if I was you. But the selfish side of me won't stay away. Truthfully, you could shoot me down a million times and I'd come crawling back because…even if all I feel if pain and rejection, at least it's something. I haven't felt anything in a long time."

She's quiet for a moment, mulling my words over as her hand squeezes mine. I hear her swallow bravely before she speaks again.

"I think...part of why you scare me so much is because...because you do the same to me."

My eyebrows shot up a little. "I do?"

She nodded. "Yeah, um...I mean before I came here I was just kinda...no one. You...in some weird way made me not feel that anymore. I felt like I was suddenly the center of your universe, and that scared me."

"Cocky," I laughed. She rolled her eyes.

"When you showed up at my house and at prom, I...I realized then, that this wasn't just some other thing for you. I thought you would have lost interest by now, to be honest."

"If it was any other girl I would have," I said quietly. Lexi turned her head to study me again.

"See what I mean? That scares the crap out of me. It doesn't give me a free pass to be a bitch, but...I guess I seemed to think so."

I chuckled and didn't disagree. "So...I scare you, huh?"

She nodded and squeezed my hand again. A jolt of pleasure raced up my arm at her touch, seeming to collide with my heart in my chest. A soft smile crept onto my face, and I could no longer hide it.

"Yes, you do. Your experience, your temper, your...fire," she added quietly. "You're an intimidating package when you want to be, but an alluring one all at the same time. It's….intoxicating, but terrifying."

I blinked and tried to put myself in her shoes. Honestly, I knew it would scare me to. I couldn't blame her – and she didn't even know that half of why she really should be afraid of me.

"Well, it's a good thing we're just friends for now then, right?"

She grinned at me. "Right."

We ended up staying on the beach until the sun had completely set. The conversation had gotten lighter after my confession, but that was alright. A weight had been lifted off of my shoulders, and I felt more comfortable to actually talk to her like a friend would. We talked movies, music, hobbies, and just about anything under the sun. Once she opened up, Lexi chattered away and barely let me get a word in.

"I bet you read a lot of those stupid gossip magazines, don't you?" I asked as I pulled into her driveway.

She giggled. "US Weekly is my life! I just love reading about other people's drama. That and trashy TV. It just...makes you forget about your own stupid crap, ya know?" she jabbered.

I rolled my eyes and killed the engine, watching as she unbuckled her seat belt but stayed put.

"I guess if you say so," I laughed. "Eh, I've ever gotten caught up in a few reality show marathons once or twice, so I guess I'm guilty."

Lexi snorted. "So what you're saying is, the next time there's a marathon on 'E!', I should call you and Claire?"

"No, I just...you know if it's on, and I'm too lazy to get the remote, then...maybe it stays on for a couple of hours."

Her head fell back against the seat as she guffawed loudly, her laughter loud against the interior of my truck. I grinned and shook my head, unable to believe I had just admitted to watching trashy television. Here I was, a big, strong shape-shifter who killed evil vampires, and yet...I couldn't resist a good marathon of pointless reality shows.

"You're funny," she said, finally settling down.

"You don't know that half of it," I admitted. We sat in the truck for a few minutes as the last fading light of the day finally disappeared.

"I should get inside," she said finally, turning to face me. "But...I'm glad we did this. I mean...today was fun. Really fun," she added genuinely. "I'm sorry about everything else."

I shrugged. "I'm sorry too. I'd tell you it won't happen again, but...I'm an asshole," I chuckled.

"I know. And I'm...moody and quirky, and probably really immature."

"Did you attend a self-awareness workshop while we weren't speaking? Because it sure sounds like you did. Hit the nail on the head there, Lex."

She snorted and rolled her eyes. "Something like that. Actually...a friend talked some sense into me."

I raised an eyebrow. "Someone I know?"

She sighed, giving me a little shrug. "Honestly? It was Regan. That girl is...pretty smart when she wants to be."

Regan? Was she kidding? I gaped at her for a second, unable to believe that the girl I had screwed over had actually helped Lexi decide to talk to me. "You're joking."

"No, I'm not. She told me that people change and...and that I should give you a chance. She knows that...it takes two. You weren't the only guilty one in that party, and she knows that."

"Wow," I muttered. "That was um...nice of her."

"Yeah. She's one of my best friends, Brady. She just wants me to be happy. And weirdly, for some reason...suddenly being happy means giving you a chance."

I barely had time to think of anything else before she scooted over on the seat and wrapped me into a hug. "I'm so sorry about everything. Can we just start over?" she whispered.

I nodded, wrapping my arms around her middle. I let my nose rest against her silky blonde curls, inhaling slightly. She melted against me, relaxing the same way I was. We were finally touching. I felt something in me shift. This was where I was supposed to be. This was the place I had been searching for all this time – in my imprint's firm, hopeful grasp.

"We can start over," I said quietly, nodding. She pulled away slightly and gave me a sad smile.

"Really?"

"Really."

And then...something happened.

The air in the truck shifted, and her eye caught mine. It was a split second, but it felt like a lifetime as I stared at her while she stared back at me.

Our faces slowly moved closer and closer. She's going to come to her senses and pull away. She's going to yell at me and tell me that friends don't kiss! My mind screamed.

But she didn't.

She exhaled softly as her eyelids fell closed, and I didn't hesitate any longer. My lips descended on hers slowly; tentatively. Once they touched, there was no going back. Our mouths melted together like nothing I'd ever felt before in my life. I was finally kissing my imprint. I moved my lips on hers, pressing into her again as if to seal the idea that we could be more than friends in her mind. We had to be after this. As if I didn't think the day could get any better, she kissed me again...and again...and again. I jumped as her hand wove its way into my hair, her fingernails scratching my scalp slightly as she grasped it with her palm. I groaned quietly as my body began to hum with a nervous but excited electricity with what we were doing.

I became aware of the person on the porch about a second too late. Patrick dropped the lid of the garbage can, the hard plastic bouncing off his foot and clanking all the way to the bottom of the steps. We broke apart to look at him, both of us gasping in surprise. He stood, wide eyed and slack jawed for about five seconds before jumping and hurrying into the house.

Lexi groaned and dropped her head into her hands. "Shit."

I was still trying to figure out how to get my mouth to move again as she cussed and searched for her purse. "It's dark...do you...do you think he could see that we were kissing? Ohmigod, I...of course he saw, that would be just my luck..."

She stopped talking to look at me. "Brady? Brady?"

Slowly, I turned my head back to look at her, and I could barely even force myself to blink. Blinking was useless anyway – I would miss a split second of the glorious female sitting beside me. I sighed and tried to get my mouth to work. Electricity seemed to fly through my veins, bouncing around and making every molecule in my body float with contentment. I had no idea that was what it was like be – really be – with an imprint.

I finally understood.

"What?"

"Are you alright? I um...should probably get inside."

"You have to go? Already?!" I asked, suddenly snapping to. The absolute last thing I wanted to do was leave her!

"Yeah...Patrick saw and...I'm not even sure I'm allowed to date to be honest, much less sit in some guy's truck and kiss."

But I'm not just some guy! You're my imprint! I'm your other half! I belong with you! My thoughts screamed as she reached for the lever on the door.

"I...guess I'll see you."

"Tomorrow?"

She watched me, her blue eyes wild and alive as her fingers gripped the door handle. "Maybe."

"Can I call you?"

She blushed, but nodded, handing me her phone. With lightning speed, I typed my number into it and hit send, my own phone vibrating in my pocket. I didn't even care if I typed so fast it looked inhuman. I handed it back to her, our fingers brushing slightly. I could tell by the way her heart jumped that she felt the sparks that flew when we touched.

It wasn't just me.

"Bye Brady."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: Distance

LEXI

I let the back door to the house swing shut before turning around to lean on it for support. I had kissed Brady. I had kissed Brady and I liked it.

A lot.

My entire body sang with electricity. Or was it relief? Or...perhaps something else? I didn't smoke, but I felt like I needed a cigarette. I felt relaxed, yet high strung at the same time. Giddy.

My head began to spin. What did this mean for us? I kissed him, sure. I liked it...no...I loved it. But now what?

Patrick's face peering around the corner caught my attention. He raised an eyebrow at me and I sighed, my shoulders slumping.

"Um, hi."

"Um, hi," he echoed back, giving me a strange look. He waked into the dim kitchen and padded towards me. "Your dad is asleep in front of the TV."

I gulped loudly and tucked my hair behind my ears, walking over to the counter. I grabbed an apple and sat down, absently picking at the stem. I twisted it twice before it popped off in my hand.

I only got to the letter 'B'.

I tried to hide my smile, but Patrick was too quick.

"You...want to talk about anything?"

I shook my head and stared at the stem in my hand. I could still taste him on my lips as I listened to his truck rumble away. "No."

He was silent a moment as he leaned on the opposite side of the granite countertop, his brown eyes now wide with question. "You sure? You can talk to me, you know."

"I know I can," I muttered.

He sighed. "Okay missy, spill."

I looked up with a panicked look. "What?"

Patrick rolled his eyes at me with mock indignation. "You were just kissing someone in our driveway. Not just anyone. Our contractor. You care to explain that?"

"No," I mumbled into the counter, my cheeks turning red hot. He didn't buy it.

"Lexi..."

"Fine. We're just friends. Happy?"

"No."

I made a 'hmph' sound and crossed my arms. Maybe I was being petulant about this, but I didn't care. I had only just admitted my feelings about Brady to myself. How would I even begin to explain them to Patrick?

"Lex, come on. Up until today, you acted like the kid was stalking you."

I let my eyes flick up to his as if to say, 'so?'

He sighed, pointing in the direction of the TV room where I could hear my father's snores. "You father is going to kill you. If you guys...have another tiff or whatever it is before that garage is finished and he loses his contractor without you telling him what's going on...hell will break loose missy. Hell."

I laughed. "Okay, well...we kissed. I don't know, Patrick. It's not a big deal, okay? We just...talked all day. He took me to the beach and—"

"Now he wants in, in your pants."

"It's not like that."

"How do you know?"

It was my turn to roll my eyes. "Trust me, I know. We had a heart to heart and I don't think that's what he's about. Well...at least not anymore. I explained how I am. Kinda...naive. Anyway...it's just a crush. He only thinks he likes me for some reason. We're just friends."

Patrick gave me a skeptical look. "That boy wants to be 'just friends' with you about as much as he wants to go over shingle styles with your father. In other words...not a whole lot. Why wouldn't he realize how great and utterly fabulous you are, Lexi?"

I gazed up at my pseudo step-father and sighed. "Because I'm just me. What would a guy like that want with me? He's hot, I'm not."

He shook his head and sighed. "Why wouldn't he want to be with a girl like you?"

"He'll get bored and move on. Just give it a few weeks."

Patrick gave me a look of disbelief. "Please! I knew from the first day I saw you talking to him that the boy had it bad. I know the signs."

"I told you, he's...well...he used to be a player. I told you all this."

"I know, and I know I also told you that people can change."

"If they're motivated."

He pursed his lips and gave me another look. "He seemed pretty motivated in that truck, kid."

"Whatever," I grumbled. "Like I said...he'll get bored and move on eventually."

"Lexi..." he began, "no one could get tired of you. People gravitate towards you. You're like the sun. Maybe he was just...lost until now. Maybe he needed a little sunshine in his life to convince him to change. He got to know you, and now he knows what he wants."

"Are you actually pushing me to date the hot contractor stalker?"

"Hey honey, if the work boot fits," he joked.

A smile worked its way onto my face, and before I knew it, Patrick had me grinning. "You're great, you know that, right? You always know what to say to me."

He shuffled around the counter and wrapped an arm around me, squeezing. "Anytime. You know that right, kid?"

I bobbed my head. "I know it. That's why I think of you as my second daddy. My pseudo daddy, if you will."

Patrick wheezed a little as he backed away. "You do?"

"Yes. Is that okay?"

He could only grin. "I wish...I wish things had gone differently. I really do. But I'm glad you've...been so open. You have a good heart, Lex."

I shrugged. "Whatever. You're awesome."

Patrick leaned on the counter again and gave me a weak smile. "I still wish things had been different."

"How so?"

He paused. "I wish I wouldn't have had to hurt your mother."

"Oh. Right. That...she deserves to be happy. Preferably with someone who favors her anatomy as well as her heart and mind. I try to think of it that way."

Patrick chuckled, nudging my shoulder with his. "You're a weird one, but I like you."

I wrinkled my nose as I thought of the promise I had made my mother. "Enough to loan me your credit card?"

He recoiled only slightly, his eyebrows rising up. "I thought you quit the designer thing when you moved to Forks?"

"No, I did, I just...I promised mom I would visit her this summer. I...I just want to make good on that. Just for a week?"

I watched as he walked to the counter by the door and picked up his wallet from its place on top of the microwave. Typical Patrick – so trusting and open. He had no secrets. He selected a black card from the array and slid it across the counter to me without a second thought. "My treat."

"Is this to help you get on my mom's good side?"

He thought a moment. "Consider it a peace offering. I don't want her to...just take it."

I rose up on the stool to kiss his cheek. "I love you, Patrick."

I watched my boarding pass print, the hum of the printer the only sound in my room. I had tried to play music while I bought my airline ticket, but nothing seemed to fit my mood. I was...confused. But...strangely satisfied.

Picking up my phone, I opened a text and stared at the blank screen. What do I say? I thought. I knew I owed it to him to at least tell him I was leaving. I'd be on a plane the next day! I had to give him some sort of explanation.

I'm gonna go visit my mom for a week, I typed simply.

I waited and waited, thinking his response would be instant, but nothing.

A watched pot never boils, I chided myself. Pulling my still damp hair into a knot on top of my head, I pulled out a bag and began to pack. I would only be gone for a week, so I knew I wouldn't need much. A trip home would be good – I could clear my head and think and also satisfy my mother. California would be good.

So why didn't I feel that way?

I glanced at my silent phone and ripped the boarding pass from the printer. I was going. I was doing this. No turning back now. Picking up the phone, I dialed Regan.

"Hey," he answered breathlessly. "Sorry, Seth was chasing me with a dead fish."

"I'm sorry?"

She laughed. "We were out back. Charlie and Seth took me fishing today."

"And how'd that go?"

"About as well as you'd think it would go. I hate worms, it turns out. And killing fish. And butchering fish," she mused. "So not well. How are you?"

I sighed. "Well, I'm gonna go visit my mom for the week. I just wanted to let you know."

"Something wrong?"

"No, no, not at all. She just hasn't seen me since January, and I miss my brothers. I just wanted to catch up before senior year starts."

"Yeah. I don't blame you. Well...have a good time," she offered. "We'll miss you. Forks will be...well, still here and just as boring as it ever was."

I laughed as I threw in a bathing suit, just in case. "I'll bet."

"Well, have a good time. Slumber party when you get back?"

"Sure," I said quietly. I was debating whether or not to fill her in about me kissing Brady. It made me look awfully eager that I had gone running into his arms as soon as I had gotten her stamp of approval. Regan didn't strike me as a person who would care either way, but I was still hesitant. Shaking my head, I decided to think about it for a week before saying anything.

"Regan, Charlie says t...minus two minutes for the grill. You want yours breaded or grilled?" I heard Seth ask in the background. Regan sighed.

"Hey, have fun in Cali, okay?" she asked hopefully.

"Yeah, will do. Have fun with Seth," I teased before hanging up. I dropped my phone on the bed beside my bag, but not before checking my messages again.

Nothing.

Not a word.

"Hmph," I grumbled, continuing my packing. I finished up and arranged a ride to the airport with Patrick the next morning before climbing into bed. It wasn't late and I wasn't particularly tired, but more just mentally exhausted. My hand reached up and let my fingers touch my lips lightly. They still seemed to tingle with a strange, nervous energy. Closing my eyes, I replayed the kiss again in my mind before I fell asleep.

I dreamt of beaches and deep green woods. And deep brown eyes...

As I boarded the plane next day, I realized I had a text. My heart leaped as I realized it was from him.

Don't let California keep you.

As soon as the California air hit my cheeks, I knew I had made the right decision. A visit home was just what I needed to clear my head and get organized. I knew Brady wouldn't wait forever, and to be honest...I didn't want to make him wait. I vowed to return to Forks with a game plan. The 'just friends' bit was a ruse, and I knew it. I was okay with that, actually. Up until the kiss, I thought I could pull it off.

After the kiss, I knew it wouldn't work.

"My baby," my mom gasped into my hair. She stroked my head a few times as she squeezed the life out of me, right there, in the terminal. I squeaked and wriggled from her grasp to collect my little brothers.

"How are the goober twins?" I laughed, grasping them tightly. Brock, the nine year old, punched my arm lightly as Braden, the six year old, hugged my leg.

"You're home! Can we play on my X-box all night?"

"Sure kid. I can't walk!" I gasped as Braden kept his vice grip on my ankle. He was sitting on my foot like a cement block to keep me from leaving. "Buddy, the plane doesn't go back to Forks for another week. Can I at least get to the car?"

"I'm so glad you're home! Braden, get off your sister. Brock, can you take her bag?"

"I got it, mom, its fine," I chided her. "Now, let's go home."

We loaded into my mother's SUV and left the airport, my brothers chattering away excitedly about what they had been up to that summer. Apparently, someone named 'Michael' had been taking them boating all summer and they couldn't shut up about it.

"Who's Michael?" I asked as we pulled onto our street. My mother immediately looked nervous in the front seat. "Who is he?" I repeated.

"He's her booooyfriend!" Braden trilled, his blue eyes shining. Brock snorted under his breath in the front seat as my mother ducked away from the rear view mirror. I gaped out the window in disbelief as we pulled into the driveway. She had a boyfriend already? Part of me was shocked, but I was mostly happy. Maybe if my mom had a boyfriend, she would stop hating my dad. Or at least stop holding a grudge. I sighed. If only it was that easy.

My parent's old house, which now belonged to my mother, was just a few miles from the beach and placed in the hills of Southern California. As I hopped out of the car, I felt like I was in a time warp.

Nothing had changed. I went up to my old, half emptied room, played a few video games with my brothers, and watched from the kitchen window as they enjoyed a pre-dinner swim in the pool. My mother busied herself with a glass of wine and making my favorite dinner – lasagna.

"So is this Michael person coming to dinner?"

She shook her head. "No. I wanted it to be just us."

I waited for her to explain more. "So...I get to meet him though, right?"

Her blonde head bobbed nervously. "Maybe. The boys like him, I...they needed someone around to be there with him. Michael has a son too, about Brock's age. He knows how boys are."

"Right, but...you like him too?"

"I do. It's new, but...he's a good guy," she assured me. I watched her take a nervous little sip of her wine. "So how's your father and what's his name?"

I felt my shoulders slump as the questioning began. "It's Patrick, mom, and they're fine. Things are really good. I...I really like Washington."

Her eyebrows rose up slightly. "You like a state where it rains more than half the year?"

"It's not about the weather. I like the people. I have friends there. Real friends."

"You had friends here."

I shook my head. "Not like this. Those were just acquaintances. Regan and Claire...they care about me. We share secrets and they give me advice, and...we have fun. I never did that with any of my old friends."

My mother sighed. "Lexi, you just gave up on this place. When your father left us—"

"Mom, he left town so that you could go on with your life without our neighbors being obsessed with your personal life. He left to ease the pain and make a separation. Can't you see that?"

She stopped mid-sentence to listen to me, her large eyes welling up with tears. The pan that simmered in front of her went untouched as she held her hand to her face to wipe her eyes. "I know that. I know all that, but I just...I can't forgive him Lexi. I just can't."

"Mom, you deserve someone who loves you. All of you. Dad could only do so much. He's hurting too, you just don't see if because you're not in the same state anymore. He knows he hurt you and he's sorry."

"But sorry won't give me my life back, will it?" she snapped, grabbing her wine glass. She took another little sip before shakily wiping her eyes. Grabbing the bamboo spoon, she hastily pushed the vegetables around in the pan to keep them from burning.

I didn't have anything else to say. I knew going home for the first time would be difficult, but I wasn't planning on it being this heart wrenching. What were their options? Stay married, even though they both liked men? I couldn't see that working out, at least not for the long term. Of course I was sad my parents weren't married anymore, but I was old enough to know that it wasn't my fault and there wasn't anything they could do to fix it. Pushing back from the counter, I shuffled outside to the deck. I watched as my brothers played in the backyard, the brilliant California sunset as their backdrop.

After eating a quiet, tense, and slightly burnt dinner, I retreated to my dad's old study. My brothers were worn out from the long day, and I was in no mood to talk to my mother. Judging by the way she had immediately reached for her meds after dinner, she was feeling the same way. I changed into my pajamas and let my feet take me to the opposite end of the house to the secluded little office. My dad had designed it himself; a spiral staircase leading up to a little alcove above the house that gave him a breathtaking view of the valley below. It was quiet, separated, and would give me a little serenity in the chaos that was my old life. I felt like I had never even left by the way my mother was acting. I had just gotten home and already, I wanted to get away.

The decision to leave California had been the right one.

I understood that my mom was hurting. But I wanted to be left out of it. Even as an adult, it was awkward to be trapped in the middle of their marriage. I knew he felt great sorrow for what had transpired between them, but how could he help it? Should he have to deny who he was forever? My short eighteen years told me no.

I settled into the little window seat overlooking the valley and pulled an old chenille throw around my shoulders. My forehead slumped forward against the glass window as I watched the last bit of sunlight disappear from view. Maybe tomorrow I would go to the beach – that always cheered me up a little. Even though I didn't consider myself a true 'beach bum', there was something appealing about the feel of sand and saltwater and the fresh scent of the surf. A trip to the beach might do me good.

The beach.

Just the word itself in my mind brought back the memory of a few days before when I had spent the day at the beach with Brady. Was it only two days ago? My head was still spinning just thinking about it. I picked at my nails as I thought about that day. He had opened up to me – so much. I felt like I could understand him so much better now that I got who he was. Of course, he still terrified me, but that was no surprise. I was crushing hard on a former man-whore that I had barely even kissed. It wasn't for lack of trying, that was for sure, but when you were a short, modestly boobed, quirky blonde girl with a weird sense of humor, that rarely gained you any attention from wannabe-could be models and surfer boys. They just didn't go for plain janes like me. Of course my tan and blonde hair and blue eyes were a novelty in a place like Forks. The shallow side of me loved it. For once in my life, I didn't blend into the scenery like a wallflower, and I had actually gained the attention of a really hot guy.

But did I want that attention?

I tried to bite back the smile that threatened to form on my lips just from thinking about Brady. He hadn't hesitated to press his lips against mine in his truck. I had been worried I would be a sucky kisser, but with someone like that, I knew I was in good hands.

Or lips.

His mouth had expertly commandeered mine, guiding and showing me what to do. I felt a warmth spread up my chest and neck and finally reach my cheeks. Kissing Brady had been amazing. I couldn't deny that, not by a long shot.

Leaning back against the pillows, I watched the lights of the Southern California town twinkle in the twilight. My eyes saw the night sky, but my mind was playing the kiss in my head like a movie reel; over and over and over.

I couldn't hold back my smile any longer.

"I'm falling for him," I grumbled, laughing at myself. "I'm falling for him, hard."

My phone suddenly buzzed in my pocket. Thinking it was Claire or Regan asking if I got in alright, I guiltily ignored it for a few minutes. I wasn't ready to face anyone just yet.

Slowly, I let my mind wander to Brady. What was he doing? Letting my eyes close, I tried to picture him. My mind conjured up a taunting image; one of him at a bar, surrounded by chesty, gorgeous women of all ages. He was laughing and talking about soaking up every ounce of their attention with a large grin. Angry with myself, I pulled out my phone and glanced at the screen. The text lit up and made me frown.

California sucks.

"What?" I muttered, sliding it open. The text was from Brady. My heart began to pound in my chest as my fingers hovered over the keys. What do I say to that? What does he mean? I thought feverishly. I swallowed nervously and typed a response.

California does not suck.

His response was almost instant.

Yes it does. Washington is much better.

I let a little laugh slip.

California is a nice place to visit. But Washington is home.

Really?

Yes, why do you ask? Or should I say, why do you argue?

I'm not. Just thinking you might change your mind and never come back.

Worried, are we?

No.

Whatever.

I leaned back against the glass window and sighed. My eyes fell close as I tried to contain the streak of excitement that flowed through me as Brady texted me. It was really something – I needed a friend right now, and his timing was impeccable. How did he know that I needed him?

What are you doing? He asked.

Sitting here. In my dad's old study. You?

Nothing.

I stared at his response. Was he actually doing nothing, or was he just claiming he was because he was doing something wrong? The scantily clad girls that my mind had conjured up suddenly leaned closer to Brady in my daydream, exposing more of their cleavage. I glanced down at my own B cups and frowned. Well, they were Bs on a good day, anyway. I needed assistance from Victoria's Secret on that one, who was I kidding? With a groan of defeat, I held up my phone when it buzzed again.

I'm sitting on the couch in my mom's basement watching reality TV. Our conversation the other day made me realize I hadn't had an E! marathon in quite some time.

I laughed out loud at his words as they appeared on my screen. You're joking, right?

No, flip on a TV. This Jersey girl is about to flip out. Her boyfriend is about to get a horrible haircut.

I shuffled over to the television in the corner and turned it on, my mouth dropping open as I realized he was telling the truth. And well...the guy was about to get a horrible haircut.

My phone's shrill ringtone going off made me almost drop it. I jumped and fumbled with it for a second before holding it up to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Told you."

I frowned, listening for sounds of a bar or a club or the slut squad in the background. Nothing.

"You're really on your mom's couch?"

"Yeah. My dad's out of town on business, so I told her I'd crash here."

"Oh?"

"She doesn't like to be home alone."

I laughed. "I don't either. You know there's bears in Washington? Holy crap!"

Brady snorted. "There's a lot worse than bears, trust me."

"What's worse than a bear?"

He laughed, turning the volume down on his television. "So how's California?"

I bit back a smile as I realized he had called me to actually talk. First texting, now this? I was taken aback, but I quickly realized I didn't really want to hang up the phone. I wanted to talk to Brady.

"Oh, you know. Same as I left it. Sunny. And icy all at the same time," I muttered, closing the study door. I flopped on the cushion of the window seat and sighed. "What are you up to?"

"Sounds bad," he said, ignoring my question. "Icy, huh?"

"Yeah well...mom's not exactly thrilled that I haven't come running home yet. She wants me here."

"And?"

"I don't want to be here. I made a life in Washington, and I'm going to stick with it."

He sighed into the phone. Was that a sigh of relief? I wondered. Sticking my toes into the edge of my pajama pants, I held my phone a little closer. Talking to Brady made me feel grounded.

Somehow.

"That's good. I mean...your dad and Patrick would be bummed if you left."

I smirked. "Would you?"

He grunted into the phone. "Please."

"Whatever. Now that we're friends...you'd be totally sad if I left suddenly. Admit it."

"Fine. Whatever. I'd miss you. Now can we get back to this guy's hair?"

I laughed and obliged. We spent the next hour on the phone together, talking randomly and laughing about the train wrecks on the television in front of us. It turned out Brady hadn't been fibbing – he knew most of the characters on the shows and had no qualms about giving me details about them. I was waiting to see if he would bring up the kiss in my driveway, but he never did. The first time I yawned, he made an awkward excuse about taking up my time and bade me a quick goodbye.

Putting the phone down, I pressed my lips together and thought. Brady and I were friends. I had talked to him like I would any other friend. Of course there were flirty undertones, but that was normal...right? He was a guy and I was a girl. The two couldn't exist as friends without a little flirtation.

Could they?

Sighing, I pulled my knees up to my chest and stared out the window. Now that he had agreed to be just friends and I had actually begun to trust him, it was just that much more complicated. I understood Brady now; his good and his bad. Maybe that's what frightened me the most.

I still wanted him.

Of course I did. Every girl wants at least one boy in her life that she can't possibly have. I had read enough books from the 'young adult' section at Borders to know that much.

Brady was my bad boy.

I also knew the endings of said books.

The bad boys were the ones that always broke hearts and left them shattered in the dust. Then, out of said dust would emerge the 'nice guy' or the guy who had been waiting in the wings the whole time, just casually bending into the background until page 342.

I frowned. There was no 'nice guy' in my equation.

"Shoot, where does that leave me?" I muttered, dropping my chin on top of my knees. I had never felt this conflicted in my entire life. Granted, I didn't get out much, but still. I was conflicted and I fucking hated it. California was supposed to clear my mind.

All I wanted to do was go home to Washington and talk to Brady.

Or at least be in the same zip code.

My phone buzzed again. I ignored the depleted battery that was red and flashing and begging for a charge to open his text.

I have a confession.

I snorted. You secretly have all seventeen seasons of 'Keeping up with the Kardashians' on DVD?

No. Haha. (sarcasm)

What is it then?

Nothing could have prepared me for what he typed next.

I can't stop thinking about that kiss.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: Coming Home

Brady

I hit 'send' on my phone and waited. I had just admitted to my imprint that I couldn't stop thinking about the kiss in her driveway.

And I couldn't.

I'd had a lot of rage inside of me for a long time. Like, a lot. Phasing had never been a problem – I would just think of my father and his behavior, and bam – the wolf took over. Just remembering the way he'd treated me and my mother was enough to generate plenty of heat and anger to last me a lifetime.

Lexi's kiss was like a strong breath to a flame. It made it all vanish.

I put the phone down on the couch beside me and sighed. I was home for the night with Embry. He had recently imprinted himself, and wasn't having that much luck with his own imprint. He had a completely different set of problems. I knew from patrolling with him and scanning his thoughts that his imprint, Sydney, was a complete head case herself. Sydney was complete with daddy issues, a deceased mother, and worst of all – a boyfriend she was head over heels for. Lexi was young and pig-headed, but she was at least available.

I pitied Embry.

He was currently in the kitchen potting around, the smell of a plate of nachos wafting through, making my stomach grumble. I would have offered to talk to him about his problems, but Embry was a bit more reserved than most of the other wolves in the pack. I'd been a complete asshole to him for a while now, so I was not expecting him to willingly open up easily. The more convenient route was to just give him space.

I checked my phone again and sighed. Still no messages from Lexi.

Fuck.

I had probably scared her shitless with that last text. Oh well – at least she knew how I really felt. We had already kissed. What was next? I wasn't sure, to be honest. In the past, I'd always made fun of my imprinted brothers and had rarely taken the time to observe other imprinted couples. I was just convinced it wouldn't happen to me. But then, it did. Imprinting was something I dreaded for so long, and honestly now that it happened, I felt relieved. Of course there was the possibility – alright, the strong possibility that Lexi would reject the imprint. She might even only want to be friends. But just the sliver of hope that she might someday return my feelings was definitely there.

She gave me hope.

She gave me a light in the dark, a tiny feeling of security. I might someday be able to rely on her the way my pack brothers did their imprints, and vice versa. That kind of love never went away; it could never be reversed. Once an imprint made the decision to love her wolf, she never went back on that choice. If I could just get Lexi to fall for me, there would be no turning back. I would make her the happiest girl in the world, and she would in turn make me complete. It seemed shallow and trite, sure. But I was selfishly hoping that our one kiss made her want more. I would definitely give it to her – one touch of her lips against mine, and all I wanted was to bring her the moon if she asked.

Falling for someone as good and pure and whole as Lexi didn't make me feel like my old self, and I liked that.

I didn't want to be that old version anymore. I wanted to lock it up and bury it in the ground and never think of that old person ever again.

A knock on the front door made me jerk out of my fantasies and back to reality. Embry shuffled to the door and let it open, the scent of a fellow wolf wafting through the air. Seth ducked his head to walk through the door and let his dark eyes dart around the dim living room where I sat.

"What's up?"

Embry glanced over at me on the couch, and then back to the nachos he was devouring and shrugged as if to say 'nothing'. He shuffled back to the kitchen and let his shoulders hang as he walked. Seth looked over at me from the doorway and I only shrugged.

"You guys up for some training?"

"Your imprint doing her homework tonight?" I shot at him. He smirked.

"It's still summer. Besides, if she was doing homework, your imprint would be there too since they're in the same class."

"Touché," I muttered, standing up. "Who we fightin?"

He shook his head and motioned to Embry. "No one. Remember that vamp that we found on the night of Prom? Fred?"

"Fucker has a name?" I snorted. "Yeah, I remember him. He ready to be turned to ashes yet or what?" I asked, the memory of that night rising up in my chest. Of course I knew his name. He was the vamp that had bested me in the woods that night. He claimed he had been looking for the Cullens so he would be able to learn and practice their 'vegetarian' lifestyle.

I still didn't like him.

Seth could feel my distaste as I stood up. "Hey, give him a chance. He hasn't slipped once since, and he just wants to be accepted. Carlisle assured me he was safe to have in the area, and he thinks Fred could teach us a lot about how to handle a vampire with a gift. What's more impossible than fighting someone we can't see or smell?"

"He has a point, you know," Embry muttered. "When does he want us?"

"Right now. We're meeting on the old battlefield to practice with him."

"He should have died with Riley and Victoria," I muttered.

Seth frowned at me as we left the house. "He didn't ask to be bitten, Brady. Give him a chance."

"Hey man, asked or not, this guy is still a fucking vampire. And most of them need to die in my book, alright?"

Seth and Embry met gazes and collectively rolled their eyes. We walked into the yard, the three of us already pulling off our clothes. Nakedness no longer bothered me – it used to make me feel weird, stripping down in front of a bunch of guys, but now I no longer thought anything of it. As the light faded from the sky, we shifted into wolf form and took off towards the field.

As we ran, I would occasionally let my nose skim the ground as my mind worked to keep my thoughts at a minimum. I was still looking for the scent of the vampire who had attacked me and Sean that day in the woods this spring. He had come out of nowhere and completely kicked our asses before leaving again. Nervousness crept into my mind as I thought about his fighting style. He didn't appear to have a gift of any sort, and I was grateful for that. He just seemed to be vicious.

As we ran, I concentrated my thoughts on vampires and their fighting styles so that I wouldn't accidentally slip and think about Lexi. My pack knew about the imprint, but I didn't want to let them in on any of the details surrounding our relationship – yet.

We need to pay special attention to Fred. His talent is hands down the toughest we've ever come across. We need to know how to defeat someone like him who has a gift we won't be able to expect, Seth coached.

I mentally rolled my eyes and tried to tune out his positive, go-get-em mental drabble. He was a good person to have on your side when times were tough; his friendship with a mind-reading vampire had given him multiple opportunities to play-spar. He knew how to fight a vampire in ways that most of us didn't. I know he was trying to help us, but I just wasn't in the mood.

I wanted Lexi to come home so we could talk about...well, a lot.

We arrived in the clearing where the battles of the past had been fought; the newborns, the Volturi...I shuddered. None of those were nights I would ever want to relive. Jasper stood in the center of the field, flanked by his creepy fortune teller wife, Carlisle, Emmett, and my personal favorite – Rosalie. The blonde vamp eyed us all with a look of disgust as we trotted onto the field with the rest of the pack. Every vampire made my skin crawl, but Rosalie made me want to run for the hills and never stop going. She was almost as lethal as her mind reading brother in a fight, and I wanted nothing to do with that. I'd happily take on her husband before I went head to head with her.

"Welcome. Thank you for joining us," Jasper welcomed, only to be met with silence. We stared at him in wolf form and waited for him to continue. "As you know, we have a new family member among us. His name is Fred, and he has made great strides as of late to adapt to our family's lifestyle."

I shuddered internally.

Even as a wolf, the scent of blood made my stomach churn. If I was deep enough in 'wolf mode', I could ignore it, but I was never that good with the particularly squeamish aspects of blood – human or animal. The thought of draining something of all its blood was downright disgusting to me. I didn't understand how vampires did it.

Pay attention, Jacob warned me. I growled to myself and turned my attention back to Jasper.

I listened as he spoke, explaining more about Fred's gift. The details of this new vampire's particular little talent made my insides bunch up and twist. This vampire could literally make himself seem so repulsive that it was easier to just forget he was there. They weren't sure whether it was a type of mind control or not; even Edward who could listen to thoughts had a difficult time with Fred sometimes. Great. Fucking great. Even the powerful vamps are afraid of him.

Seth seemed to echo my sentiment, but of course he had a different take on it. Well, at least he's on our side then, right?

Jasper kept talking about their new 'family member'.

"He was in college at the time, working on a biology project in a remote area. Like many that Riley turned that year, he was isolated and his absence wouldn't be particularly alarming. As a human, Fred spent most of his time alone, without the companionship of others," he said firmly. His voice suddenly quieted. "He was teased. Bullied, by those who didn't like him. He spent much of his time avoiding others, and we believe this is how he attained his particular gift. He wishes to no longer run, and more importantly, no longer claim the lives of humans for his nourishment. He mourns his human life, but looks forward to living as a vegetarian," Jasper added.

We muttered our agreement and watched as Jasper turned his attention back to the tree line. We all followed the vamp's gaze but saw nothing. Then, suddenly, he just appeared. Out of thin air.

"Fred was using his talent just now," Jasper explained. "You will notice that he can turn it off and on, much like a switch."

Calmly, the new vampire stepped forward. He was nothing special to look at, but I knew better. I shuddered internally as he put himself directly beside Jasper and gazed out at us with his startling amber eyes. They had tiny flecks of red in them still, but looked a lot better than they had the night of Lexi's prom. He was as tall as Emmett, yet built like Jasper – wiry, lean, and almost on the skinny side. He was dressed in typical Cullen attire – fancy looking clothes in muted colors. I didn't know why they made so much effort to wear designer labels if they were just going to be draining elk all damn day, but I guess that wasn't up to me.

The Cullens both annoyed and fascinated me. Firstly, they were so materialistic and snobby that it was rather annoying. They always had the fastest cars, the biggest houses, and the newest clothes. If my father knew about them, he would have tried to schmooze his way into being best buds with Carlisle; that was for sure. To me, they put a lot of emphasis on looking good and having all of the newest toys. Jacob insisted they only did that to appear normal and just snobby enough to be slightly unapproachable to most humans.

I just thought they had more money than God and wanted everyone to know. Typical old world wealthy people. On the other hand, they were quite interesting to me. Here they were, easily as powerful or more so that their competition – the Volturi, yet they blindly ignored their power. They were peaceful and not power hungry like most people would think they would be. I thought back to the wars fought several years ago when Bella was human and when Renesmee was born. We won one easily and could have won the other had it gone to fruition. Yet, they were complacent to live as they were - vegetarian, peaceful, and as a family.

I didn't get them.

I shifted and stared as Fred took turns fighting with each member of the Cullens. Of course, family members like Alice and Jasper, who were gifted fighters gave him the most trouble. But even then, he was practically invincible. He could disappear and reappear at will, flexing his talent to first taunt and then disappear on his challengers. Jacob was the first wolf to step forward, and so my night of training began.

I winced as I lowered myself down on the couch later that week. Five nights in a row of training with Freaky Fred as I called him, I was hurting. Fighting him (or trying to) was no easy task. It took learning an entirely new way of battle that I wasn't used to. Frankly, he had gotten the better of me every single time. A few of us had been able to master our sense of smell and use that against him, but it would take more time. I could see how the training would come in handy as a good learning experience, but that didn't make my aching body hurt any less.

"Fuck," I growled, picking up my ice pack. I threw it over my shoulder and clenched my teeth. After phasing back into human form, I had discovered that a majority of my body was either sprained, cut, or fucking purple from one giant bruise.

"Tell me about it. He came outta nowhere every single time," Embry moaned from the recliner. He held a bag of frozen peas to the side of his face. Of course it had just been training, but sometimes during the learning process, we had to take hits. Needless to say, we ended up having our asses handed to us.

My phone buzzed on the couch next to me. I tried not to smile as I picked it up and saw a text from Lexi. The past week had really dragged by with her gone, so I guess I should have been a little happy for the distraction of Fred.

Do friends come over for dinner?

My heart leaped into action, hammering against my chest. Lexi was back! I fist pumped the air and instantly texted her back, ignoring the curious 'you're clearly nutso' looks from Embry.

They can. Is this an invite?

Yes. My house at 6?

See you then, I responded. With a load groan, I jumped out of the recliner and hobbled to the bathroom to shower.

"Imprint calls, I see," Embry chuckled.

"Fuck off," I laughed, slamming the door behind me. After easing my aching body into the steamy water, I let out a sigh of relief. My body was instantly feeling better knowing that my imprint was back in the same town safely after her trip. I couldn't wait to see her. Pausing, I chewed my lip and realized just how happy I was to see her.

Not show her off. Or fuck her. Or play head games with her, which were usually the things I looked forward to doing with girls.

I was simply happy to be breathing the same air as her.

Lexi was different, and I knew that. She was my imprint. None of those other girls mattered a single bit anymore, and that was a sobering thought. Of course I was used to the idea of it all by now, but what did it mean?

It means she's the one for you. So don't fuck it up, my subconscious lectured. I rolled my eyes and began scrubbing the mud and dirt that seemed to be caked in every crevice of my body. Rolling around fighting a disgusting leech all week would do that to you.

I couldn't screw this up with Lexi. That kiss had been...well, it had been magnificent. A part of me that had been dormant for a long time was finally coming back to life – the good part of me. I had been the asshole for so long that it felt strange to not want to simply fuck this girl and toss her aside like I normally would. I couldn't screw this up, no matter what history had against me.

This was Lexi.

I couldn't wait to see her. Maybe she would let me hug her. Or maybe we could kiss again. Or maybe...

I raised an eyebrow and stared off into the steam. What would it be like to do something other than kiss her? I felt a stirring in my groin that had also been dormant for a while. I glanced down and welcomed my little sidekick with a grin. As much as I loved Lexi, I did miss my old libido and how much fun it used to bring me. I knew what others would think – what a whore. Well, I was. Sex to me was like booze to an alcoholic; it wasn't good for me, but I liked it in excess. It took a train wreck to get me to even stop or slow down when it came to womanizing. Or at least, used to.

I didn't know it for a fact, but I assumed Lexi was a virgin. And very much so. Unlike most guys, my ideal situation in the sack didn't start with someone with little to no experience. Those girls were always so shy and slow and just took forever to convince. As a general rule, I avoided them like the plague. I had always liked a girl who knew what she wanted and who also knew how to give me what I wanted.

Call me crazy, but virgins usually weren't able to provide it.

Experience aside, Lexi was definitely someone I was interested in 'getting to know'. Besides being the most utterly gorgeous girl I had ever met, she was of course, my imprint. I knew from our shared mind link that imprint sex was pretty much better than anything on the planet. That thought alone was appealing, as obsessed as I was with the act.

As I soaped my body, I paid generous attention to my nether regions as I thought about Lexi. Her hair, her eyes, her curvy little body...I tried to imagine how she would look beneath me, moaning my name. I gripped myself with one hand and used the other to prop myself against the shower wall. Embry would probably kill me for taking so long in here, but I was past caring. My fantasy encounter with my imprint played over and over in my mind like a sexy movie as I stroked myself. Just the mere thought of her sent me tumbling over the edge in a matter of seconds.

Afterwards, I opened my eyes and blinked in the steam. Holy shit. Just the thought of her had been the sexiest, hottest, and dirtiest fantasy of my life. If just thinking about her was like that, what would the real thing be like?


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 14: Out The Window

Lexi

The doorbell rung, making me jump. He was on time? That seemed so…un-Brady-ish. I snuck a look at my watch, it was six. He showed up right on time, not a second late. Was he suddenly taking this seriously? I was impressed but determined not to show it. I could tell that something between us had changed. I was nervous; my hands had been shaking since the plane touched down in Washington. Aside from biting all my fingernails off on the flight, I had almost forgotten my ticket on my mom's counter.

I was a wreck.

I didn't know how to act, what to say, or even how to begin to approach Brady right now. No clue. None.

I chewed the red stub that was once my thumbnail as I let the front door swing open. Brady stood on the front porch, freshly showered and smelling like rain.

That's because it's raining outside, dipshit, I chided myself. But as he brushed past me over the threshold, I snuck a little sniff and grinned to myself.

Nope. That was all him.

He snuck a smug glance at me over his shoulder that both enticed and pissed me off.

Damn.

"So," I started.

"Um...so Patrick knows you kissed me," he stated simply, hovering next to me in the entryway. My head spun slightly as I fought his new proximity. I could hear my dad and Patrick moving around in the kitchen, and I couldn't be sure how much privacy we would have.

"Wait, I...wait, you kissed me," I pointed out with a hiss, my mood suddenly ruined.

He smirked. "You kissed me. Don't lie," he laughed. Cocky.

I tilted my head and sized him up, instantly irritated. I hated how he made me feel so hot and cold all the time. I had hardly been able to control myself waiting for him to arrive, and here I was, ready to toss him back out onto the driveway for being such a cocky bastard. And just when I thought he was starting to show me a different side of himself, he went back to how he used to be. Some things just never change, I thought as I shot him my best glare .

"Fine. We kissed each other. Friends?" I hissed.

Brady's eyes narrowed playfully. "Friends," he said finally.

I spied a bruise on his cheek. "What happened to your face?"

"Bar fight."

"Really?"

"Lexi!" Patrick called.

"Coming!" I hollered back.

"No," Brady chuckled.

"Ass."

"You're right. I'm an ass. But we still have to talk later," he added as I dragged him into the kitchen. My dad looked up with surprise and Patrick abruptly stopped talking.

"Oh, Brady. Thank you for joining us," he welcomed.

Brady nodded. "Thanks for having me."

My dad looked at Brady curiously as if he was seeing him in a new light as Patrick chattered on.

"It's so nice to...meet some of Lexi's...friends."

Brady raised one eyebrow as the word 'friends' hung in the air. I glanced nervously at Patrick to try to get him to can it, but he continued to rattle about nothing in particular.

"And the carriage house is just...gorgeous so far," he said nervously, glancing out the window in the direction of the garage.

"We can erm...call it a 'garage' I think," my dad finally muttered as I placed four plates on the table. Brady sat at the kitchen counter and shifted nervously, trying to stay out of their debate. I met his gaze and gave him a slightly apologetic look.

"Well, either way..." Patrick trialed off, giving Brady a tight smile.

Brady bobbed his head and gripped the Coke can in his large hands. "Um...sure. The design is done really well," he offered meekly. "You did a great job with it. I was worried it wouldn't match the house, but..."

"How so?"

"Well….most people can't design a free standing structure that matches the true style of the original building. Sometimes it looks faked and forced and…just wrong. I've seen a lot of buildings that were an afterthought be disasters, but you really nailed it. Like I said, the design was what drew me to the project."

My dad looked up in surprise. "You know architecture?"

He shrugged. "A bit. My dad has a flair for the aesthetic even though he's a contractor. Most people just think he throws up buildings, but he's always had an eye for design. He taught me to not only build things but make things that people would want to keep around for years to come and…and maybe even someday preserve."

"And what about you?" my father asked.

There was a pause in the room as we awaited his answer. I shifted in my chair as Brady got the third degree.

"What about me?"

"Well, what do you have a flair for?" my dad asked, picking up a dish from the counter. He walked it over to the table, setting it down in the middle. Brady gave him a blank stare as though this was the first time anyone had even bothered to ask him.

"I just...figured I would go into the family business," he said. "I think that's what my dad wants."

"What do you want to do though?"

Patrick smirked and brushed past my father with a knowing smile. "He's asking what you want to be when you grow up."

Brady chuckled. "Um...I'd like to do what you do, actually. I love...designing things. That's why I took this job. I saw your plans and really got into it," he admitted slowly.

"Dad," I chided, finally breaking in. "Leave him alone, will you? Not everyone has to know their plans for when they grow up."

Brady gave me a questioning look before Patrick reached over and mussed my hair. I growled at him and darted out of reach, carefully tucking my already slightly frizzy curls back.

"Lexi is still undecided," he explained.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm in high school, I'm allowed," I snapped.

Brady didn't say anything else as we sat down to dinner. He surprised me with good table manners. I shot him a perplexed look as he ate, wondering where those came from. All the afternoons he had spent scarfing down sandwiches in our kitchen during his lunch break and I had never seen manners like that. He made polite conversation with Patrick and my father throughout, smiling politely when my dad brought up all the possibilities for careers in architecture. His smile was almost...sad...maybe...hopeful. I couldn't put a finger on the strange expression that danced across his features when my fathers pressed him about his future.

Strange.

After dinner, I was surprised when Patrick waved me away from the dishes and suggested we go down to the basement to hang out.

"Should you really be pushing me down to an unsupervised area with a man you hardly know?" I questioned him. Brady tromped down the steps, already letting out a whoop of excitement to see a pool table.

Patrick tilted his head to the side as he peered down the steps after him. "He seems nice. Too old for you, but nice. You're a good girl," he mused, patting me on the head. I rolled my eyes and followed Brady down the steps as Patrick shut the basement door. It was pathetic really – my stepfather of sorts was practically shoving me at a good looking, available guy like I was on an episode of The Bachelor. I knew my father was probably upstairs having a field day, but...I wasn't about to complain. I wanted to talk to Brady in private.

I padded down the steps in my socks and found him circling the pool table of our finished basement slash rec room. Patrick had insisted on finishing the basement so they could have a place to entertain should the occasion ever arise. However, two gay men weren't exactly having the best luck finding friends in a small town, so I wasn't sure when such a party would take place. Brady looked up and gave me an innocent little smile when he saw my frown.

"What?"

"Well...we...we need to talk," I stuttered, wincing slightly. I needed to sound like I was in charge and in control but damn it. I always lost my control around Brady and I hated it.

"Who are you, Dr. Phil?"

I frowned. "Wait, w-what?"

"Never mind," he chuckled, grabbing a triangular shaped object off the wall. "Pool?"

"Forget pool, I thought we were going to talk about this."

"About what?"

"Um, you know."

"Fine, then talk."

I crossed my arms in an effort to look a tad sterner and narrowed my eyes at him. "What you said in the entryway upstairs. You kissed me, not the other way around."

Brady snorted as he grabbed a pool cue. "Justify it however you want, Lex."

I stomped my foot like a petulant child before I could stop myself. "I...I did not, you were there, you know what happened. You kissed me, and then you blamed it on me to tick me off because that's what you love to do to me for some reason, Brady, and you know it!" I sputtered out. "You kissed me!"

He paused, leaning on the pool cue and looking at me expectantly.

"Well, say something!" I spat.

"Are you done?" he asked. I felt like I was in kindergarten, and the teacher was asking me if I was ready to come out of the time out corner. Truthfully, after my little outburst, I knew it was where I belonged, but I didn't care. I didn't want him to think I was the one throwing myself at him when that really wasn't the case.

Not at all.

"Yes," I said quietly.

"Fine," he said. "Now let's be honest. We kissed each other."

I suddenly couldn't look at him. "We...I guess we did, yeah."

He sighed, walking over to the other side of the pool table where I stood. "Friends kiss, Lex."

I inhaled lightly, getting a whiff of his fresh rain scent. He was a foot in front of me now, and I still couldn't look at him. He just made me so damn unnerved.

"They do?"

He shrugged. "They can do whatever they want. We didn't do anything wrong. We wanted to kiss...so we did. Did you want me to kiss you now?"

"No...yes...I mean...I don't know," I huffed. "This is all so confusing."

He shifted in front of me, his size suddenly a little daunting. I felt like a kid next to him in all his tan, burly godliness, and it was unsettling. I risked a glance upwards and immediately knew it was a mistake. One look into those pools of chocolate brown, and I was suddenly unable to look anywhere else.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, Lexi. That's not what I'm here for."

I sighed, my brain getting a little fuzzy. "Then what are you here for?"

I heard him sigh as his shoulders slumped slightly. "Whatever you need me for," he replied softly.

I blame the magnet thing this time.

The pull towards him was inescapable and any attempt I made to avoid his mouth against mine was feeble at best. He kissed me sweetly, his bottom lip wedged between my two lips, and I actually squeaked; it was so unexpected and new and nice.

Who knew that kissing an asshole could feel this nice?

As he pulled away with that smirk I loved too much, all I could think of was one thing.

I was falling for the bad boy.

Well, okay, two things.

Fuck friendship. I want the bad boy.

He stepped back to look at me like he would a painting on a wall that he didn't quite get. He was gauging my reaction, and I intended to play it cool. Despite what the stampede of butterflies in my stomach were doing, I said the only thing I could think of.

"Uh..."

Brady raised an eyebrow. "Uh?"

"What was that for?"

He shrugged. "To get it out of the way. You were obviously thinking about it, and so was I, remember?"

My mind flashed back to our conversation the other night when he had been thinking about the kiss. Coincidentally, I had been obsessing over it as well. And he was right – I did feel a tiny bit better now that we had just gotten it over with and kissed. I felt completely mind-fucked, but better nonetheless.

"Why were you thinking about us kissing?" I asked, trying not to sound accusatory.

"I told you," he said simply, walking back over to the pool table to pick up his cue. "I think we should be more than friends. But you don't, so..."

"So you just randomly kissed me instead?"

He shrugged. "I kinda do whatever I want," he explained, pulling his shoulder back. I saw him wince a little before rubbing his shoulder.

"Ass," I muttered under my breath. He looked up as if he had heard me.

"I only wanted us to be just friends because I...I don't always know how to handle you, Brady."

"There's nothing to handle, Lexi. If you were with me, it would be the easiest thing in the world. It would be like breathing," he said cockily. "But...I'll just let you figure that one out on your own."

I crossed my arms and watched him take a shot, sinking a ball right off the bat. I watched him play pool with himself for a few more minutes in silence before I noticed something.

"Why is the bridge of your nose bruised? And I saw you wince when you pulled your shoulder back...what's with you?"

"What do you mean?" he asked nonchalantly, setting up another shot. He pushed the cue forwards, cracking another ball into the corner pocket. I rolled my eyes and tried not to let his behavior irritate me as it usually did.

"Your cheek looks yellow...like there was a bruise there."

He eyed me curiously, raising a dark eyebrow in a sexy, saucy manner. "You gonna stare at me all night or are we gonna play pool?" he asked before sinking another ball.

I fiddled with the pool cue in my hand and licked my lips. They still tasted like him. Huh. I never thought I would want to have the taste of Brady's lips on mine. Honestly, I hadn't expected to feel so pleasantly surprised to discover that. I wanted to kiss him again.

"I just...did you like...get into a fight or something?"

He sighed exasperatedly, standing up straight. "Why do you always assume the worst with me?"

I bit back a laugh. "Is that bad?"

He shrugged, lining up his shot. "No, I guess not. You're probably right to assume...bad things."

"Asshole, remember?"

Brady grinned to himself as he made another shot. "You got it."

I laughed loudly, unable to control it. He was outright admitting what he was, and I guess that was a good thing. It was funny, that was for sure. Somehow his self-deprecating humor struck a chord with me.

"So..."

"So what?"

I sighed, scratching my head in frustration. "Well, are you going to tell me what happened?"

He looked over at me and smirked. "What do you want me to say, Lexi? Come on, you want me to lie? Fine, I walked into a door."

I couldn't hide my eye roll. "You need to be slapped."

This time it was Brady who burst out laughing. "What? So I had a little scuffle, is that what you want to hear?"

My eyes widened as I pictured it, or tried to. Was it in a bar? Had he been drinking? Was it over some other girl? I couldn't ignore the jealous surge that raced through me at the thought. I didn't know where we stood, and I didn't know if I wanted to know. It was all so complicated that it made my head spin, and this added information certainly didn't help me clear my mind. In California I had been a nobody; now I had a hot, older man kissing me in my basement. I had never had this particular problem before, and I wasn't sure how to deal with all of it.

"I want you to tell me the truth."

He sighed again, staring at the pool table. "Fine. A um...friend of a friend came to town, and he was showing me some fighting techniques."

"You expect me to actually believe that?"

"It's the truth!" he cried, holding up his hands. "He's a master in a style of fighting, and I wanted to learn more."

The whole thing sounded so ridiculous I was close to fuming. "So...why do you even need to know how to fight? You could get hurt!"

He snorted indignantly. "I won't get hurt."

"Yeah, well, your face tells a different story."

"I was learning! I asked him to teach me, and sometimes you get a few bumps and bruises along the way! What's the big deal?"

"You come to my house all beat up and ask what the big deal is? You asked some guy to teach you how to fight and it looks like he kicked the crap out of you!"

Brady sighed exasperatedly. "He did not beat the crap out of me. He got a few good hits, but that's okay. I know what to do next time to defend myself."

"What on earth do you need to defend yourself from? That's ridiculous!" I shot back.

"You don't know what could happen, Lexi. I'd rather be safe than sorry! There's some crazies out there, and I like to be prepared."

"You're an idiot."

I couldn't imagine who or what would want to attack Brady – ever. Besides being built like a brick house, he had the ability to look mean as fuck if he wanted to. The few times I had seen him angry had been enough for me, and it wasn't something I wanted to repeat. Ever.

"It was stupid, alright? I get it, you don't like it."

I sighed and leaned on the pool table opposite him. "If you knew it was a dumb thing to go and learn how to fight or fight this guy or whatever, then why did you do it? Brady..."

"Look Lexi, I have...friends that are into that. We like to horse around and be rough sometimes – that's just how we've been since we were kids. It's nothing personal, alright?"

His tone was clearly frustrated as he walked around to my side of the pool table. "Are you actually...worried about my well-being?"

I shrugged, entranced by his proximity for the second time that evening. "Maybe."

He grinned, his hands finding their way to my shoulders. "You shouldn't be. I can take care of myself."

"Doesn't look like it," I argued back. I lifted my head to look at him squarely. I could see the faint yellow skin where the bruises had been, and his bottom lip was still a little swollen like he had been jacked in the face. "Friends worry about each other."

His eyebrows rose a little as his hands slid down my arms, their warmth radiating all the way through my long sleeved shirt. I shivered internally, unable to control the reaction my body had to him. I cursed it silently, not wanting him to know how much I secretly craved his touch. I had missed him in California; there was no denying that. I missed our fights, our talks, and mostly the way he made me feel when he was around. He made me feel...awake, which was weird because I had always thought of myself as a very...well...'awake' person. Now, I sounded crazy. I shook my head and reached up to touch his cheek where it was still slightly yellowed.

"Don't fight," I said softly.

He leaned his face into my touch, the rare tender moment catching me off guard. His gaze suddenly turned trusting, and before I knew it, his forehead was resting against mine.

"I can't promise that. But I can try. That is, if you're worried about me."

My breath came out slow and shaky as he lowered his face closer to mine. I felt the heat of his lips before I actually felt them on my own, which was strange. But then, there they were, pressed up against mine like that was where they were meant to be. I leaned against the pool table as he kissed me, his lips strange but inviting against my own. This kiss was different from the other two; it felt like it had more purpose.

I should have stopped him.

I really should have.

But I didn't.

I couldn't.

I didn't want to.

So I didn't.

When his tongue slowly slid against my top lip asking for entrance, I didn't think twice about opening my mouth and letting it enter mine. It felt foreign and weird, but not entirely unwelcome. I touched my tongue to his, experimenting with the pressure. He smiled without breaking the kiss and flicked his tongue against mine.

Okay.

I had been kissed before, sure whatever. It was nothing special or meaningful or worth any fireworks, that was for damn sure.

Kissing Brady was different.

Very, very different.

I felt his arms slip around my waist and I mirrored his action, letting him press me harder against the pool table. My mouth opened further, far further than I would have ever thought was appropriate or non-gross, and soon our tongues were mingling like old friends. I was partly disgusted, partly mystified, and partly so enthralled with this new experience that I could barely see straight. I didn't want to stop and that should have frightened me.

It didn't.

Instead of pushing him away, my hands found their way behind his neck, pulling him closer.

Instead of rejecting his kiss, I think I kissed him harder.

Instead of stopping, I let it go further.

His hands slid down my hips, over the small of my back and over the curve of my non-existent butt. He groaned into my mouth, and it excited me. Like...sexually. It was all new and thrilling, and suddenly, I didn't know what to do with myself. He was there and hot and just so into me that it didn't seem real. I didn't want it to stop. My body began to tingle all over and then—

His mouth left mine and I panicked for a split second, the brief emptiness a shock. Then, there they were again – pressed against my neck, sliding over my jaw, over to my ear...

Oh God.

His tongue flicked my ear, and I heard myself make a noise I wasn't proud of.

We both laughed before his mouth crashed back to mine, greeting me like an old friend. Hot damn, we are good at this, I thought as we kissed. Our lips tangled and molded together like they had done it a million times. He pressed his body up against mine, the heat rolling off of it in waves. Brady felt like he was on fire as his almost hot body heat seared mine. I attributed it to our passionate kissing and shrugged off the strange feeling that he was abnormally warm. My fingers found themselves grasping at his short, inky black locks as he kissed me fiercely. I felt his hands slide from my ass around to the front of my shirt and lightly lift up the hem. His fingertips were blazing hot against the skin of my stomach. I could feel his calluses against the sensitive skin, and they tickled lightly as they moved up my stomach.

A sudden clanging noise from upstairs made us jump apart, wide eyed. I was panting in terror as I glanced at the stairway, worried that Patrick or even worse – my dad – had come downstairs suddenly.

"They're both in the kitchen, doing the dishes. Someone dropped a pan in the sink," Brady hissed, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. His face was red and flushed as he stood in front of me, panting slightly. I nodded, hoping my own face wasn't too red.

"We should um...um..."

"I know," he said breathlessly, nodding. "I'm sorry."

"No, I'm...I'm sorry, I just um...glad we didn't get caught," I said slowly. I smacked myself in the forehead and winced. "Brady, we shouldn't have been doing anything that we were afraid we would get caught doing. Shit, um..."

He nodded, his jaw tight. "You're right, I...I'm sorry. I got carried away. I can't lie, it...that was nice. Right?"

I gave him a weak smile and tried to ignore the way my heart was slamming against my ribcage. "Yeah, um...yeah."

Brady shifted in front of me, licking his lips. His gaze lingered on my lips for a split second before he lunged forward and kissed me – hard. He pulled away and gave me an apologetic stare.

"I'm sorry," he said, leaning his forehead against mine. "I'm so sorry."

My breath came out in another shaky pant, and I didn't know what to say. His warm hands cupped my cheeks and lingered there for a second, his thumbs reverently stroking my cheekbones.

"You're gonna kill me, you know that?"

I smiled. "Sorry," I added weakly.

Brady shook his head in defeat and let his hands drop. "I should probably go," he stated sheepishly. "Can we hang out tomorrow?"

I shrugged, speaking before I could think. "I was going to go to the mall that's a few towns over."

I expected him to wince, back out and make up other plans, but he simply nodded officially. "Great. I'll drive you. Pick you up around eleven?"

My jaw dropped open slightly. "Um...sure?"

"Good," he said softly. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to my forehead and let them linger for a second. "I'll be here to pick you up then. Sleep tight," he murmured, reaching down to squeeze my hand. I mumbled something intelligible in response and nodded, my head still cloudy from well...everything.

After he bounded up the steps, I listened to the sound of his truck roaring down the driveway. I walked upstairs in a daze, ignoring the curious looks of my dad and Patrick as I drifted up to my bedroom. I dressed in my rattiest t-shirt and pants and dove into my comfortable bed with my mind still spinning.

His words from earlier rang loudly in my head until the wee hours of the morning.

I'm here for whatever you need me for.

The whole 'just friends' thing had flown out the window tonight, and boy did I know it.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 15: Bad Boy

Lexi

"I need clothes," I argued to Claire the next day. I held my cell phone against my shoulder as I looked at the outfit I was currently wearing. Holding up a scarf, I heard her make a noise of disapproval in the back of her throat. "School starts Monday and I wanted to start off senior year looking more...senior-ish."

"Uh huh," she said. "So Brady just volunteered to drive you three towns away to go clothes shopping out of the blue? Just for fun?"

I gave my reflection in the mirror an annoyed glare and shook my head. "What are you getting at?"

Claire cleared her throat. "Nothing."

"What do you mean 'nothing'? I can tell by the tone in your voice that you don't mean it like you said it."

"Oh come on, Lexi, don't play coy with me. You like him. You don't go to the mall with a guy you don't like. Especially not all day. That's so a boyfriend thing to do."

I rolled my eyes and tossed another scarf down on the bed. "He's not my boyfriend, Claire, how many times do I have to say it?"

"Enough times that you'll believe it," she stated innocently.

"But that's—" I began formulating a rebuttal to Claire's matter of fact statement when the rumbling sound of Brady's truck entered my consciousness and my heart skipped a beat or two. As much as I hated to admit it, it did that a lot when he was around. Damn it.

"He's pulling into the driveway, I have to go. Good-bye Claire!"

She snickered and hung up. I tossed my cell phone into my purse and gave my reflection an exasperated sigh. Sometimes, I wish I was able to look a little older. Cuter. Hotter. Frowning, I realized that I was really nervous to see Brady again after last night. After that kiss...well, kisses...sleep had been difficult to come by. I wasn't sure how to take all of it, and he just really pissed me off with how calm and collected he was about it all.

Like he expected it to happen.

He wasn't expecting anything today, was he?

Brady had a certain effect on me and my dad and Patrick had definitely noticed. My father had poked his head in my bedroom before he left for the day to talk to me.

"Hey sleepyhead," he said softly, ducking his head around the door.

I sat up in bed and gave him an early-morning wince. "What time is it?"

"Still early, but we're going to leave soon to get a head start before traffic gets bad. Can you stay awake long enough to talk a minute?"

I moved over and let him sit on the edge of my bed. I gave him a look that meant he was going to have to talk first.

"So Brady was over here last night."

I nodded solemnly. "Fact."

His lips quirked like he was going to smile, but he waited. "Brady was over and…it seemed like you two have gotten close."

I shifted slightly on my sheets, shrugging. "We're friends."

My dad wasn't fooled. "Lexi…I can tell when a guy gives you a look that means he wants to be more than friends."

I snickered to myself and gave him a sideways look. "I know dad. I see that look every day and I'll give you a hint; it's not directed at me."

He snorted to himself, shaking his head. "I know you do. But this isn't about me. This is about you."

"What about me?"

"Brady is a nice boy..guy…man," he stuttered. "Should I be worried that you're spending time with him? I want to play the role of trusting, cool father here but my memories of my younger years keep me from doing that wholeheartedly."

I winced. "Ew. Um…no, you don't have to worry. We're just friends, and I think it will stay that way. Dad, I….yeah, trust me," I stammered, not wanting to go into a big discussion about my sex life. Or lack of one.

"He's just older, Lexi. I trust you, and I'd like to trust him, but I don't yet. Get what I'm saying? I'm trusting you to be the adult in this…even if a time comes when he doesn't act like the adult he is, I'd still like you to."

"Dad…" I whined. "Most of the guys at my old school forgot I was a girl most of the time. I was invisible. Did one guy ever call the house for me in all my teen years you lived with me in California? I was invisible," I repeated.

He sighed. "I know Lex, but can't help but notice Brady looks at you like you're the opposite. I don't think you're invisible to him. Not by a long shot," he explained.

I looked over at him and frowned. "What do you mean?"

My dad shrugged, shaking his head. "Ignore me, I just…think he's taking this a little more seriously than you are. He didn't seem like he was just at our house last night for the food, Lex."

"Dad…."

The topic of conversation was making me increasingly uncomfortable. I knew my dad wanted to bond with me and be close the way we used to be when I was a kid, but I was too old for that now. I didn't want to talk to him about this, especially when he was so on target. I knew Brady wanted more than friendship and that he wasn't to be trusted; but that wasn't something I wanted to share with my father of all people. Brady was the bad boy, and no father wanted his daughter to fall for the bad boy.

"Just try not to get too caught up in this alright? You're only in high school and he's…much older. I know you're the age where you can make your own decisions about things, I do. But please be careful honey."

"So I'm not grounded? Not allowed to see him? Locked in my room forever?" I teased.

He shook his head. "Your mother was always the disciplinarian. Not me," he shrugged as he stood. "I just love you Lexi. I want what's best for my little girl."

My father was right though; Brady didn't just look at me like he wanted to be friends. I knew that. I had seen enough romantic comedies and tragic love stories to know what 'look' my dad was talking about, even if I did play dumb. But that still left me with the fact that Brady was a bad boy and an experienced one at that. What had I gotten myself into with him? The events of the night before flashed in front of my mind as I picked up my coat and slipped into my Converse sneakers.

As I walked down the steps, I found myself wishing I was a tad more experienced. Luckily my father and Patrick weren't home today – they had taken the day to go to Seattle to look at samples for something or another. They wouldn't be back until late, so I didn't mind not having to spend the day at home by myself. I hopped into Brady's truck and slammed the door, looking at him cautiously.

"Hey," he said confidently, motioning to the center console. "I got you coffee."

I glanced down to see a whipped cream-covered drink beside another container I assumed was his. He picked up his own and sipped it as we pulled out onto the main road, and I grabbed the other and clinked the plastic against his.

"Cheers," I laughed, taking a pull of the icy coffee drink. "Oh wow, this is great. How did you know I like white chocolate mochas?"

He shrugged as he turned onto the highway. "You told me on the phone, remember? We were talking about how there isn't a Starbucks in town, but I told you there was a pretty good little coffee shop. You said you liked Starbucks' white chocolate mochas."

I was a little awestruck that he had remembered that part of our late night rambling session. "Oh, um...yeah, I did. Sorry, I remember now. Gosh, that feels like ages ago. This is really good though," I said, taking another pull. "Maybe even better than Starbucks."

He laughed. "Yeah, I told you."

I chewed on my straw and turned to look at his side profile as he drove down the highway towards one of the bigger suburbs. They had a pretty decent mall there that Claire had taken me to a few times last spring although I couldn't determine why in the world Brady would want to go there. Maybe my dad had a point.

"What are you looking at?" he teased, glancing over at me. He was actually really easy on the eyes; I understood how he had a successful run as a man whore in a town the size of Forks. Short, spiked black hair, creamy toffee colored skin, white, straight teeth, and an angled jaw that looked perfectly sculpted.

I played coy. "Nothing."

"What?!" he laughed.

I shook my head and looked forward.

"Thanks for driving me. I appreciate the ride; I mean...the mall is probably the last place you want to spend your Sunday."

He shrugged. "It's alright. I need some new clothes anyway, and I'm sick of having to buy them at Wal-Mart," he muttered. "I guess it works since I usually destroy all of my clothes what with...work and all, but...it would be nice to have some clothes again that aren't just ripped jeans and sweats."

We chatted easily the rest of the hour long drive to the mall, avoiding any mention of the night before. Although I was dying to casually bring it up, I didn't. I wanted to see what he would say about it first. He parked relatively close and walked right beside me as we strode inside, a nervous flutter settling over my stomach. Immediately people stopped or paused to look at Brady, their eyes raking over him appreciatively. As I glanced up at him, I thought – how could they not? He's gorgeous. A cocky, arrogant, self-destructive ass, but a pretty looking one at that. I chewed my lip and walked beside him, feeling a little out of place next to the Adonis-like creature I was walking next to. And I should have, I realized. I didn't belong with someone as good looking as Brady; I was a silly little high school girl and nothing else.

People probably thought he was my babysitter for shit's sake. I continued to watch him as he grew irritated with people's stares. His towering height and bulk didn't help him blend in any; he stuck out like a sore thumb. He looked like a movie star stranded in a small town mall.

"What?" he asked me defensively, pushing through the crowd. I trotted along after him, my short legs trying to keep up with the pace he had set to get away from the prying eyes.

"Nothing, I just...hey, slow down!"

"Sorry," he said, immediately slowing his gait. He walked beside me slowly, his dark eyebrows furrowed.

"What's eating you?"

He shook his head. "Nothing, just…sick of getting stared at like a freak."

"I…"

"What?"

I blushed. "I don't think they were staring at you because they think you're a freak Brady," I said quietly.

He rolled his eyes and pulled me gently out of the aisle where people were trying to walk. "Where did you want to go?"

I paused, suddenly a little shy. "Um, you don't have to come with me if you don't want. I'll probably just walk around for a bit. Macy's ok?"

He nodded, shrugging slightly. "I don't care. I don't have anywhere to be today. You're the one with school tomorrow. I'm here for you," he said pointedly.

I groaned, wrinkling my nose as we turned in the direction of the larger department store. "Ulgh, don't remind me. At least its senior year though, that much is nice. I'm just dreading it. Summer was nice," I laughed.

"Yeah, well….get that diploma then."

"I plan on it, I just…kinda sick of the high school thing. Ready to move on."

Brady's dark eyes flicked up to meet mine. They smoldered slightly as I stood there awkwardly, chewing my bottom lip.

"That so?"

"Yeah, well…anyway, we'd better get going. Macys still ok?"

His hard gaze softened slightly and he nodded. "Sure."

He followed me inside the store and waited patiently as I navigated through the racks of clothes and shoes. His mood started to lighten as he either shook his head in approval or made faces of disgust at my selections. Half the time I scooped things up specifically to irk him. His response would be to roll his eyes at my antics. He stopped in the shoe section and picked up a pair of dangerously high, black heels with an open toe. "Now these are hot."

My frown was instantaneous. "Do you normally scope out women's shoes?"

"No," he said defensively. "I just like women in high heels."

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "Good to know." I walked around the shoe department, looking fearfully at the rows of high heels. I hoped he didn't think I was ever going to wear anything like those! They just looked painful and...well, dangerous. I would fall off of those suckers in an instant! What was he thinking? Any woman that wore above a two inch heel was just asking for trouble or a broken ankle in my book. My eyes fell down to the worn out Converse sneakers on my feet. I suddenly felt very...inadequate. Brady's eyes followed my awkward gaze.

"I didn't mean anything by it," he chuckled. "Just that girls look good in them."

"Girls with a death wish," I laughed, picking up a pair of Converse. "Now these are more my style."

Brady shrugged. "I like a girl in Converse. But what about when you go out to town? You gotta wear something with an open toe. You have great feet."

I winced. "Um, ew? Stop looking at my feet, creep," I laughed, glancing down at my shoes. I had gotten a pedicure with my mother in California, so my toes were actually looking pretty cute. Normally though, I slapped on some pink polish and called it a day. I had never paid much attention to my feet before, and it was very weird that Brady had.

"I'm just saying. Sometimes it's nice to wear something a little...festive. Flirty, fun, I duno."

I laughed and tossed a high heel in his direction. He caught it and held it up to look at it with a sultry gaze.

"You're a bit metro, you know that?"

He shrugged. "I have a mom with good taste, that's all. A lot of times it was just the two of us when I was growing up, so I used to watch her get ready to go on dates with my dad. I used to like to watch her pick outfits and put on makeup."

"And you're a whore," I laughed.

"That too," he admitted.

We laughed our way through the shoe department before finally going our separate ways to find clothes. I claimed it was weird for a guy to help me shop and he insisted he didn't want to help me anyway. We exchanged a couple of frowns and split up. I had purchased a few new pair of jeans and a few tank tops that could be deemed school appropriate and dad-friendly when Brady came crawling back.

"Okay...I'm done."

"Why the long face?" I asked as the cashier handed me my receipt. I tucked it in my wallet and glanced at his frown.

"I realized I don't go anywhere fancy anymore."

"Where do you need to go?" I asked.

He sighed. "Anywhere, really. Anywhere nice or that could justify as nice."

"What does that mean?"

Brady snorted in amusement. "Um…a place where there are cloth napkins or…valet, or something like that."

I shrugged. "Well...go, then?"

Brady raised a dark eyebrow at me. "Want to come with me?"

"What? Someplace nice?"

He nodded.

I sputtered.

"Well...n-no, that's...where would we go?"

He shrugged. "Seattle. Port Angeles. Somewhere nice. I could wear a shirt with buttons and you could wear open toed shoes. We could make a night of it."

I paused. "Like...a date?"

His tanned face grew a little red. "It doesn't have to be. It can be two friends at dinner."

"Riiiight," I nodded. I was using humor to deflect this and I knew it. Brady was asking me out in his sneaky little way. "I think shirts with buttons and open toed shoes define a date, actually."

He shrugged. I was getting to him and I loved it - secretly, of course. I grinned to hide my nervousness.

"Just think about it," he pleaded casually. He was playing it cool, but I could see that he meant it. My stomach twisted nervously as I nodded.

"I can do that."

There was a nervous, flirty tension between us that was always there but it somehow seemed magnified as we walked around the mall. He excused himself to get something to drink from the food court as I perused a girly boutique looking shop with eclectic earrings and scarves. I lived in Washington now, I needed pretty scarves. I watched my reflection in the little mirror on the counter as I tried on accessories and tried to imagine wearing them in my daily life. Some of it seemed a little extravagant and silly, but I was still debating. A guy across the store caught my eye and gave me a small smile. Feeling stupid, I put down the scarf and tucked my hair behind my ears. I felt my face heat up as he walked closer.

"No, keep it on. That looked good on you."

I turned around and blushed brightly as he eyed the magenta colored material in my hands. He was tall, blonde and blue eyed and everything I would have instantly swooned over back in California. But as my location had changed so had my tastes. I now preferred something tall, dark and dangerous. I mentally swatted that thought away as I felt my cheeks grow hot. Was this guy seriously flirting with me? Guys didn't usually flirt with me; I was too awkward and weird for that normally. But I must have struck this guy's fancy because he definitely wasn't backing off.

"Oh, um...I was just trying them on."

He smiled charmingly. "Well it gets cold here in the winter – you could pull it off."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm sure," I laughed. "You look familiar."

He nodded. "I was a senior at Forks High last year. You were the new girl, right?"

"Oh! I remember. You were friends with Dylan and those guys. Yeah, I transferred here from California at the start of second semester so I didn't know too many people."

"Shame," he said brightly. "I go to school nearby; we just come here on the weekends for something to do."

"Oh, that's cool," I replied lamely. We made small talk for a few more minutes about high school and college and how we hated the rain when I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I didn't even have to turn around to know that Brady was quickly approaching.

Weird.

I brushed off my newfound sixth sense and turned around to find him glowering behind me. The boy's face grew a little pale as he took in the hulking Native American man behind him.

"You ready to go?" he asked quietly. I looked at him with a surprised look – I had expected more anger. Instead, he seemed to be keeping his cool even though he was still shooting random eye-daggers at the poor kid standing in front of me.

"W-who's this?" he asked stupidly.

I silently cursed his braveness and watched as Brady tensed up beside me. "Someone who thinks she should go."

Random kid lifted his chin. I could tell he was nervous but stupidly trying to be cool. This was going to get ugly, I just knew it. Shit.

"We were just talking. No need to get all weird and creepy about it. Is this guy your boyfriend or what?"

I opened my mouth to speak but Brady beat me to it. "Yeah, yeah I am her boyfriend. And I think we should go. Lex, come on," he said gruffly. He gently grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the store, leaving a bewildered random kid in our wake. I sputtered angrily as he led me through the crowded mall. I growled under my breath and saved it until we got into the parking garage.

"What the hell was that?" I snapped as soon as we were alone. My angry tones registered against the cement walls, echoing loudly. For a second, I was proud of myself for taking such a stand against Brady's arrogant, jerky behavior. "Where do you get off acting like that?"

"Like what?" he spat. He stopped walking and turned to face me. His dark eyes were almost black but I didn't care. He had no right to treat me like that; like I was his property or plaything or something dumb like that. I might be new and inexperienced when it came to guys, but I had seen enough shitty lifetime movies to know when a guy was being a possessive jerk.

"Like you're my boyfriend! Like you have some claim over me!"

"So?" he asked, throwing me a nonchalant glance.

"So?" I screeched. "So you have no right! Even if you were my boyfriend or something, that wouldn't give you any right to act like you are right now!"

"So I'm not your boyfriend, so what?"

"So...So..." I huffed.

Brady stepped closer to me, his body suddenly inches from mine. I could feel the strange heat rolling off of him in waves as his tanned body shook slightly. "So let me be."

I was floored. "What?"

His jaw clenched and his features softened. "I said so let me be. Let me be your boyfriend."

"Don't be ridiculous," I snapped. "And what, give you the license to be a possessive, caveman ass all the time? No thanks, we can just stick to that on the weekends," I added sarcastically as I brushed past him. I kept walking towards his truck as he groaned to himself behind me.

"Lexi, stop!"

"No, thank you," I called over my shoulder. "Just take me home."

I heard his feet hitting the floor of the parking garage as he trotted after me. He darted in front of me and reached his hands out to stop me in my tracks. His gentle touch floored me. How could he be so pissed and yet so controlled? The whole situation simply infuriated me.

I wanted to smack his smug look off his face.

"You mad?"

I sat on my hip and crossed my arms. "I just asked you to take me home, asshole."

"So, no date?"

I growled and tried to push past him. Instead, he grabbed my hands and squeezed them. "I know you're not really mad."

"You don't know much then, do you?"

He chuckled bitterly, something flashing in his dark eyes. He opened his mouth to say something, but stopped. Finally, he nodded to himself. "So small, and yet so much anger. You're more like me than you'd care to admit, Lexi."

"What the hell are you talking about?" I demanded.

"When I met you I didn't understand….now I do. You're a fireball when you want to be. Huh. I like it. You definitely belong with me," he replied smugly.

What the hell?!

I whirled around and whacked him square in the chest with my shopping bags. "You! You are an arrogant, self-serving, moody asshole, Brady. I want nothing to do with you! I don't belong with you!"

He gave another cocky laugh. "And what makes you so sure of that?"

I was so angry my bones shook beneath my skin. My neck tensed until my temples throbbed. "I can't stand you!"

He crossed his arms and lifted his chin. "I know that's a lie. You're drawn to me, admit it."

My feet moved me closer to him as I looked him square in his cocky gaze. I stopped inches from him and lifted my chin. I wasn't sure where this self-assured bitchiness was coming from, but I was gonna roll with it.

"The only reason I'm drawn to you is so that I can get close enough to smack you. An urge I am barely suppressing right now. Get me?" I hissed.

"Wooo," he hooted quietly, his eyebrows shooting up. "You promise?"

"I hate you."

His dark eyes ignited playfully. "Look at you. You're amazing, you know that?" he whispered. He lifted his hand to touch my face, and I carelessly smacked it away. He chuckled. "I definitely see it now. At first I wasn't sure, but...I get it now."

I let out another aggravated growl. "What are you talking about? You're not even making sense!"

He shook his head. "I'll explain it someday soon."

I spun on my heel and charged towards his truck. "Well, you'd better explain it fast. Because this is the last time you'll see me."


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15: Confessions of a Shape shifting Asshole

Brady

I knew I had messed up. I was an asshole, remember?

I shook my head as Lexi climbed into my truck and crossed her arms in an angry huff. I knew she didn't mean any of what she said; I could feel it. Instead of talking more, I simply started my truck and pulled out onto the road towards home. She stared out the window with her arms still crossed most of the way back to Forks in silence. I had crossed a line at the mall and acted like I was some crazy, possessive jerk, but I couldn't help it. It was as if my animalistic side had come raging out without my consent, and I felt the strong need to act on the compulsion to claim what was mine. That kid should just be happy I hadn't decided to rearrange his face.

I grinned to myself. She would have really loved that.

Her burst of sassy anger in the parking garage reminded me once again why she was destined to be mine.

Her fiery, hot little temper had sprung out of nowhere, enticing me even further. I was more convinced that she could handle my wolf side - she was made for me, after all. I had wondered more than once if she would be able to handle my temper; I now knew that whatever I dished out, she could give right back to me. I could never get mad enough to hurt her, so I wasn't worried about that. I might be an asshole, but I had control over it. I was more excited than anything. The girl of my dreams was beautiful, smart, and could fire right back at me with attitude of her own.

I liked it.

There was no question if she really belonged with me or not.

I knew she did - now I just had to convince her of it.

Lexi huffed beside me, taping her sneaker on the floor impatiently. Damn, she was hot when she was mad. Words like fireball and pistol came to mind as I remembered how beautifully agitated she had been in the parking garage while yelling at me. Wide blue eyes, blonde hair frizzed out with the moisture in the air, her tan cheeks red and hot...

One thing was for sure – we would fight, and I knew it. But I also knew we would have what would undoubtedly be the hottest makeup sex known to man. I just needed to get to a place where I could explain all of it. But how? The sooner I did this, the sooner we could get to fully know each other. I know I had been speaking in riddles and saying confusing things to her, but she would understand soon enough.

I was growing tired of the friends routine, even though I had agreed to respect it.

But in all honesty, we had one hell of a hot make out session last night and how could she even begin to deny that? Her 'friends only' façade was crumbling, and I knew it was unnerving her. This is all new to her, I reminded myself mentally. I knew we had to take it slow and also that she was afraid of her own feelings for me. Imprint feelings were intense, even for the imprint herself. Lexi had no clue why she was feeling the way she was towards me, and I knew I needed to tell her.

Maybe it would help her sort things out.

My mind made up, I drove the back way home. I needed to tell her the truth so that this could all stop; the confusion, the blurred lines, everything. I was going to come clean and let the truth be known. No more games.

My thoughts flashed back to Lexi yelling in my face, cussing and verbally handing me my ass like I deserved. Fuck, she was hot! I chuckled under my breath as I drove, earning me another dirty look from my imprint. She didn't get it, but she soon would.

I pulled off the winding, deserted road onto an old logging path. Lexi sat up with alarm. "Where are we going?"

"Out into the woods. I'm an axe murderer. Sorry I forgot to tell you," I deadpanned.

She sat back in her seat and blew out a breath. "Great. Icing on the shit cake that was today. Just make it quick, please," she spat. I burst out laughing as I put my truck into park.

Fuck, I loved this girl.

I put the truck in park once we were far enough away from the road and climbed out. "Want to get some air with me?"

She looked at me like I was crazy, but I could only chuckle. This was only the tip of the iceberg we were about to steer our sinking ship into. My feet crunched against the dewy undergrowth of the woods as I walked in front of the truck and sat down on a fallen tree. Lexi paused about ten feet in front of me, her arms crossed in that cute little defiant way I had grown to love.

She raised her eyebrows. "Well?" she demanded.

"I'm an ass. And I'm sorry."

She raised an eyebrow even further up her head but said nothing.

"There's a reason that I am like I am, Lexi."

She snorted. "There's a reason you're a self-absorbed, obnoxious, moody asshole?" she quipped.

I grinned. "Well, there's a reason I'm moody. I can blame moody on that reason, but the rest is just me."

"Don't forget to add possessive onto that list," she snapped, "thanks to your little outburst in the mall."

"Will you just let me explain? Damn, woman."

"Fine."

"I'm different."

"No shit."

I had to laugh.

"No, really. I'm different. How much stuff out of fairytales do you believe?"

"Certainly not the parts about prince charming," she added pointedly.

"Fair enough. But I'm talking about the bad stuff. Scary stuff."

"Oh, so this is a horror movie then? And you are an axe murderer? Great," she sighed, throwing up her hands. "Get it over with."

I chuckled and stood up, pulling my shirt over my head. "No, I'm not. But I am something out of a fairytale. A demented one, but a fairytale no doubt."

Lexi gave me a steely glare as I kicked off my shoes and pulled off my socks. "If this is your idea of propositioning me, you had it better last night. I'm not really an outdoorsy type of girl."

I reached for the button on my jeans and she took a step back. "Are you going to kill me when you're naked, or..."

"No," I said slowly, pulling off my pants. I figured I'd just leave the underwear for now; no use traumatizing the poor girl. I could buy new boxers. "Will you just bear with me? And...know that I'd never hurt you even though I'm an asshole."

Lexi nodded, still looking around like she was on an episode of Punk'd.

"Part of what draws me to you ensures I could never hurt you...but I might scare you. Just...promise me you won't run."

At this point, she could only give me a wide eyed stare. I think she could tell that something was going to happen; she just couldn't be sure what. A seriousness had settled over the air, cloaking us in a type of tension that couldn't be explained.

"What..." she trailed off.

I leaned over and phased with the precision that only a season shape shifter could have. My bones shifted and changed as the familiar heat went rushing up and down my spine. I had leaned over with my hands. By the time they hit the ground, they were paws. I did my best to flatten my ears and cover the razor sharp teeth behind my lips as my eyes found Lexi. She was backed against a tree, her hands scraping at the bark as she gaped at me.

I wagged my tail, hoping it would help. She blinked like she was seeing double. "B-Brady? What did you do with Brady?" she asked.

I let out a loud bark and wagged my tail again. I nodded in the most human way I could and leaned down in a submissive stance. She relaxed slightly, and I could see her mind piecing this together. That's right, I pleaded silently. The wolf didn't do anything with Brady, the wolf is Brady!

Having enough of this, I phased back and covered myself with my hands. Lexi let out a confused cough and tried to close her shocked mouth as I gave her a pointed look. "Believe me now?"

She let out a noise that resembled a squeak.

"Can you turn around? I just need a second to pull on my pants."

Slowly, she turned around and allowed me to pull on my jeans. Figuring the wolf was out of the bag anyway, I skipped the shirt and walked over to her. "There."

Lexi faced me again, her wide eyes raking down my still form in front of her. "So...so you're a wolf?"

I shrugged. "I prefer shape shifter, but yeah."

She gulped. "But you're...you're...you change into a..."

I nodded. "I told you it wouldn't seem real. I wasn't lying."

Lexi was quiet for a moment, her bright eyes scanning the mossy floor blankly as she came to grips with this. "What else is real?"

"We'll get to that later, ok?"

She could only bob her head slightly. I reached out and took her hand in mine to lead her back to the fallen tree. We sat down, and I chuckled when I noticed her scoot away from me slightly, dropping my hand from hers.

"Well, now that the wolf's out of the bag, what do you think of me?" I asked.

She gave me an uncomfortable look.

"I won't hurt you, if that's what you're afraid of. It doesn't just happen; I can control it like blinking or breathing."

"Always?"

I nodded. "Been doing it since I was thirteen."

"How...how long ago was that?"

I leaned forward and put my elbows on my knees. Here it was – the age question we had been dancing around for months now. I had dodged it several times, hoping I looked young enough to be seen with her. "I was twenty four when I met you, and now I'm technically twenty five."

Lexi let out a shaky breath. I could still see her hands trembling slightly as she sat next to me. "Technically, what does that mean? You're either twenty five or you're not."

"This...thing I do. I don't age. Not until I stop doing it. But the pack still needs me, so I kept on phasing."

"The pack? There's more?"

"A lot more. It's...something in our blood. It's a secret though Lexi – you can't tell anyone. I could be in danger if you ever did."

She looked up at me, shaking her head. "I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't tell," she insisted quickly. "This is weird, but...I wouldn't tell anyone."

"Well...some people know. Claire knows, because Quil, obviously...but Regan doesn't know yet. She will soon."

She gasped. "Seth?"

I nodded. "Yeah, Seth. And...anyone else who looks like I do," I chuckled. "Big, hulking Native guys. We can all do it."

"Okay, so...you said you need to do it. What does that mean?" she prodded.

"Questions questions," I laughed. "Um, we'll get to that later, ok? But I'm twenty five. I'm frozen looking like this until I stop phasing. So...that brings me to my next...issue," I forced out. Fuck, either way I put this, this was the part where it got...creepy and awkward. I had witness almost a dozen imprint 'confessions' as we called them over the years. Guys had a way of replaying them in their minds afterwards, often obsessing if the girl took it poorly.

"What?"

"This...thing I do. Makes me...lets me...I get to imprint."

"What's that?"

I sighed, my mind remembering the night on the beach she had called me a dog and put me in my place. The silence in the damp forest seemed to loom over us like a dark cloud that was threatening to pour rain. I could explain this several ways, but each way would most likely scare her off.

I had one thing to do before I did that.

"Will you do one thing for me?"

Lexi's blue eyes flashed back to mine. "What? Why?"

I grabbed her hand and pulled her up. "Just...one thing. I swear. Then if you want to run screaming through the hills, then...fine. But just do this one thing for me."

She stood and followed me, allowing me to tug her hand all the way through the woods back to my truck.

"Where are we going?"

"Just get in. If you do this for me, then I swear I'll tell you anything you want to know."

She obliged, carefully getting into the truck like it was made of dynamite. I started the engine and tossed my shirt onto the seat beside me. "I'm not going to burst into one right here. I told you; it's controlled," I promised.

She seemed to relax a little. I pulled back out onto the main road and sped off, flying down the winding roads. We drove in silence for another twenty minutes until we arrived at our destination. I glanced over at her as I pulled down the long, winding driveway of my parents' house. I knew my dad wasn't home, so I figured it was safe enough, at least for a little while.

Before Lexi ran, I wanted to introduce her to my mom, if only once. I jumped out of the truck and threw my shirt back on, hurrying around to her side. I flung open the door and practically had to peel her out of the truck, but she slowly came with me. I rang the doorbell to be polite and breathed a sigh of relief when my mother opened the door. She cried out in happiness at the sight of me and quickly pulled me inside.

"Honey," she said happily, "it's been too long. Your momma missed you," she cooed, hugging me to her like I was a little kid. I laughed against her sweet-smelling hair and hugged her back.

"Sorry ma, I got busy with pack stuff."

My mother pulled away with a worried look in her eyes. "Is everything okay? It's not like last time—"

I cut her off quickly, not wanting her to say anything I would have to explain just yet. My mother knew the legends of the Cold Ones, as did my dad. However, my mom was the only one who knew just how true they were.

"I have...someone for you to meet," I said quickly, stepping to the side. I pulled Lexi out from behind me and into the foyer where I stood. She peeked out meekly and I had to smile. So unlike the fierce creature I had witnessed in the parking deck a few hours ago.

My mom stepped back in surprise, ushering us further into the foyer. "Who is this?" she asked hopefully, her dark eyes bright. She knew about imprinting and had always hoped I would find my imprint someday; she wanted me to stop phasing and retire. I knew it was a dream of hers to someday have grandchildren.

I pulled Lexi forward, ignoring the way her palm was starting to sweat against mine. "This...is Lexi. Lexi, this is my mom," I said reverently, pushing her forward. Lexi gave my mother a crooked smile and reached her hand out. Even when pissed at me, the girl didn't forget her manners.

"Um...hi," she offered meekly. "You have a really beautiful home, I...Sorry I'm such...a mess," she said, picking up a piece of her damp, blonde hair and flicking it miserably. My mom just laughed and dropped her hand, rushing forward to hug her.

"I don't care about your hair, sweetie," she said, hugging my unexpecting imprint tightly. Lexi's panicky eyes met mine over my mom's shoulder, and I had to laugh. I knew my mom would be happy, but I couldn't have guessed she'd be quite this happy.

"Oh, um...well it's nice to meet you," Lexi offered.

My mother pulled her the rest of the way into the expansive house, grinning at me. "Can you guys stay for dinner? Your father is in Portland for the week, so it's just me," she said, her voice tinged with sadness.

I looked at Lexi, who could only shrug. "Um, sure."

"Great. I'll cook, you guys look hungry. Come into the kitchen and keep me company. You can tell me how you met."

I shook my head and laughed at my overzealous mother, hoping she wouldn't scare Lexi more than I already had that day.

Lexi excused herself to go to the restroom, so I took the time to talk to my mom about our situation.

"She knows the wolfy thing, not the imprint thing," I hissed quietly. "I haven't told her that yet."

My mom hugged me again, her eyes tearing up. "I'm so happy for you Brady. Good things," she said softly, holding my cheeks in her palms, "I always knew good things would come to you."

"Took long enough," I muttered, sitting down at the table. I didn't see any half-drained bottles of wine anywhere as I looked nervously around the kitchen, so that was good. Maybe my mom's drinking was getting a little better with my dad out of town.

"So how long is he gone for this time?" I asked.

She shrugged. "Til Tuesday. Some conference."

"I'll bet," I snapped.

She gave me a warning look and began chopping vegetables. "Let's not talk about your father, shall we?"

"Fine," I agreed. "Please don't scare Lexi off. I just phased in the woods and about gave her a heart attack, so I don't think she can handle much more today," I explained.

My mother nodded. "Fine, fine. So how are you two...doing?"

I shrugged. "Depends on what day you ask," I admitted wryly. "It's a bit...touch and go."

"The great romances always are," she sighed dreamily. "What's it like?"

"What's what like?"

She shrugged. "You know. I'm from Makah but I always heard the stories about...imprinting," she said softly, looking around cautiously. "What's it like to love someone like that when you just met?"

"Aggravating," I answered honestly. "Infuriating. Grating...confusing...amazing," I finally relented, cracking a bit of a smile. "She's my imprint, that's for sure. I didn't get it at first, but...now I do."

"She seems perfect, what do you mean?"

I grinned. "She fights with me. And calls me an ass. And...she sees me, mom."

"She sounds perfect."

We didn't have a chance to say much else; Lexi walked back into the kitchen, her eyes darting around my mother's pristine home. "This house is amazing. My dad would love all the lines," she smiled.

"Lexi's dad is an architect," I explained. "He's got an eye for it."

"He says you do too," Lexi admitted. "Or at least he thinks so."

"He said that?" I asked in surprise. She nodded as I stared at her. Slowly, she sat down at the kitchen counter next to me and fiddled with her fingernails.

"Can I help you cook?" she asked hopefully.

My mother nodded happily, pulling out an extra cutting board and paring knife for her. She slid over to give her room as Lexi shyly moved over to join her. I could tell my mom was nearly exploding with unasked questions, and she was barely restraining herself. I decided to intervene.

"Lexi is going to be a senior at Forks High this year. She moved with her dad and his partner from California last March," I offered.

My mom smiled. "Oh, a California girl. What do you want with rainy old Forks?"

Lexi shrugged bashfully. "Um...I guess I just needed a change. My parents got divorced and...my family went through some tough changes," she admitted. "But it's alright," she promised.

"Of course," my mom said softly. "My parents were divorced too; that can be so rough on a girl. Mine divorced my freshman year. I spent all of high school bouncing between here and Makah, the reservation where I grew up."

"Yeah, it's tough," she agreed.

I watched the two women in my life unexpectedly bond, and I felt like I was having an out of body experience. My mom and my imprint, sharing stories about life and loss and growing up...it was weird. But good weird. I had forgotten how truly wonderful and charming my mother could be when she wasn't being put down by my dad and drowning her sorrows in a bottle of wine.

As my mom went to work setting the table, I pulled Lexi aside. "Are you sure you're alright to stay?"

"I'm fine, I want to stay," she whispered, giving me an honest shrug. "But we're talking about the giant wolf in the room later, if you catch my drift," she growled fiercely. "Don't think I forgot about that for one second Brady. Ass," she added for good measure.

"Fine, fine. I'll tell you anything you want to know later. Deal?"

"I'm compiling a list of questions; you'd better believe it," she promised.

I grinned. "So are you still mad at me?"

I didn't miss the faint smile on her lips when she brushed past me to the kitchen. "Brady, I'm always mad at you."


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16: Ride

Lexi

My mind was reeling as I sat through dinner with Brady's mother. He'd said he had more to tell me but that he needed me to meet his mom first, and I could respect that. She obviously knew his big, fat, wolfy secret since she didn't appear to be alarmed sitting next to him at the dinner table, so why should I be?

In all honesty...I was fascinated.

Okay, it took me a minute to get over the fact that one of my most attractive crush could morph into a giant dog, fine whatever. But once I realized that the world I lived in really wasn't the world I thought I lived in, I could hardly contain my smile. Magical things did exist and were really just well hidden. Things that people wrote off as fairy tales, folklore or in some opinions – horror stories – were very real. How could I not be at least a little excited about that?

I looked across the table at Brady as we ate, sharing a look with him. He offered me a crooked grin that clearly told me he knew he was still skating on thin ice with me. I smiled back and speared another piece of zucchini off my plate. I wanted to start interrogating him right there at the table, but I figured I should probably wait until we had some privacy. Even though his mom knew, I wasn't sure how much she knew.

"Excited for school tomorrow?" his mother asked.

I shrugged. "I guess. I don't like waking up early, but I don't mind school. I'm not looking forward to all the tests I have to take, ACTs, SATs, all those to get ready for college. My dad already has me signed up for an ACT class this fall two nights a week."

"That's an exciting time though. I only went to a community college myself. Have you thought of where you want to go?"

"I've thought about California. Maybe somewhere closer to my mom since I've been here with my dad for almost a year."

Across the table, Brady sucked in a breath. "Wait, you're leaving?"

I glanced up at him in alarm. Was he about to snap? I tensed and glanced nervously over at his mother. She didn't seem too alarmed, but I was still worried. What if he shifted into a huge angry wolf at the table and killed us all? I swallowed nervously and tried to stay calm.

"I...I'm looking at schools in Washington and California. I haven't decided where I want to go yet."

He huffed quietly and glanced at his mom before looking back at me. "So you're just going to leave? Just now when we—"

"Just now when we what?"

"Brady," his mother said quietly, shaking her head. "Don't do this now."

"This is bullshit, Lexi. I just found you and now you're leaving?"

My rage boiled inside of me as I tried to remain calm in front of his mother. But his tone and words were all too much for me after the tumultuous day we'd had together. Just because he was a freaking werewolf didn't mean he got to tell me what to do.

"My father has dreamt of sending me to college since I was born. It's been my dream to go to college since before I can remember and I'll be….nothing is going to change that."

"Lexi, you can't just-"

"I need to get an education! Besides, it's none of your business," I said calmly. "Why do you care where I go to college?"

Brady stood up and threw his napkin down on his empty plate. I refused to look at him, instead calmly taking a sip of my water. I was beyond mortified that we were having this argument here in front of his mother, but I guessed she was used to his bratty fits and temper by now. I couldn't let the fact that his mother was sitting there stop me from speaking my mind and defending my choice to want to go to school. Who was he to even have anything to say about it?

"Brady, sit down. You're making a fool of yourself," she said quietly.

"So that's it then? Next year, you're just going to...to leave? You're going to go two states away for four years?"

I looked up at him and felt my pupils shake in my eye sockets. I was so unbelievably pissed. "Where I go and what I do is my business. You have no right to get upset with me over my college plans. We are friends, Brady. Why do you care?"

He shook his head and began pacing in front of the table. If he thought his little temper tantrum was going to affect me he was bound to be disappointed. If anything his huffing and pacing and baby fit only reminded me of the little boys I'd babysat while back in California. I didn't put up with it then, I wasn't putting up with it now.

"Brady, please sit down," his mother pleaded quietly.

"Mom, not now!" he snapped.

"That's nice," I practically growled. Humiliated, his mother stared at her lap and shook her head.

"I care because...because I do, alright?"

"It's none of your business."

Brady gave me an incredulous look. Disgusted, I turned to his mother. "Mrs Fuller, could I possibly be able to trouble you for a ride home?"

She looked up at me, then at Brady. He let out an irritated growl and stomped to the door nearby that led to a patio on the back of their house. I listened as the glass door slammed, the noise ricocheting off the walls.

"I can take you home, sure," she replied sadly. I gave her my best apologetic smile and followed her through the kitchen to the garage.

The ride was mostly silent; neither one of us knew what to say. I sat in the passenger seat of the plush SUV as she drove and stared out the window at the trees around us. It was almost dark, so I knew my dad and Patrick would be home soon. I silently prayed that we beat them to my house, for I was in no mood to explain my current predicament. Brady's mother dropping me off would surely raise a question or two with my dad and Patrick. I quietly told her where to turn, and soon, we were sitting in my driveway. Neither one of us had said a word the entire time, nor could I remember a situation that awkward.

She sighed and leaned on the steering wheel. "He'd never hurt you. You know that, right?"

I turned and looked at her curiously. "How do you know?"

She shook her head and stared out at the windshield. A light rain had begun to fall and was sliding down the glass in front of us. "He'd never forgive himself, that's why. He just wouldn't. He couldn't bear to hurt you. I know my son."

"Well...he has already hurt me, Mrs Fuller. I hate to break it to you, but your son is a bit of a...an..."

"He's an asshole. He's his father's son. No doubt about it. They're so different, yet...sadly, so much alike."

"He doesn't like to talk about his dad," I said slowly. "I'm guessing there's a reason for that?"

She nodded. "There is. Brady's father is...selfish, arrogant, and can be real hell to live with sometimes. But...he can also be passionate, caring, and can love me so hard it's hard to comprehend sometimes. There are times I want to smack him for the things he says, but then...then he can turn around or say or do something that makes me fall in love with him all over again. I...I never know what I'm going to get with his father."

I huffed in frustration. Was she crazy? How could she handle that all the time without going insane? I'd barely survived six months of his mood swings and fits, and I was ready to slap him a lot already.

"How do you handle it? I'm...I'm not sure I can. We're friends...good friends. He wants more from me, but I'm not sure that I can give it to him. Especially now..."

"Now that you know his secret?"

I nodded slowly.

She licked her lips and shrugged. "I know it's tough living with someone who had a secret like that. Like his. But I can say that I'm sure Brady would make it up to you in a heartbeat. He's a lot to handle at times, but he'll also love you so fiercely you'd never look back. I know because he's my son – I know his good sides and his bad sides. Lexi, I know that boy inside and out, and I know if you gave him a chance you wouldn't regret it."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and blinked back a few tears. "I don't doubt that. I just...it's a lot to handle. It's a lot to take in at once, and I feel like there's so much I don't know yet."

"Then give him a chance to tell you," she said gently. "Give him a shot to at least tell his side of things. Will you do that?"

"I don't know if I can."

I didn't see or hear from Brady for days after that, which was fine; he might have been upset with me, but I was pissed as hell at him too.

So there.

We were sitting at lunch on Friday, having just finished the first week of our senior year. Claire leaned over and frowned at me, her dark eyebrows knitted together in concern.

"Earth to Lexi?"

"Huh?" I asked, turning around. I had been staring out the window at the rain, thinking about what Brady was doing right now. It had been raining all week, so he wasn't able to work on the carriage house. I had to admit I was mildly horrified when he didn't immediately call me and beg me for forgiveness after our fight at his mother's house. What was up with that? He was so hot and cold sometimes, it made my head spin. I didn't like arguing with him or dealing with his mood swings, but…I didn't exactly like being without him either. I felt that same strange longing I had for him while he wasn't around.

"I said Quil is taking me to a movie tonight in Port Angeles. We'd adore having a third wheel if you'd like to come," she added sarcastically.

"Oh great, a pity invite?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "It's just Quil," she added in all seriousness. "He wouldn't care if you came along. Seriously, do you want to come?"

"Don't pity me," I laughed softly.

She shrugged as if to say 'I tried' and took a sip of her Diet Coke. Claire was the only person I knew who spoke her mind and drank soda out of a can with a straw. "I was trying to be nice and to hopefully snap you out of this self-pitying fog you're in," she stated matter-of-factly. "Did something happen that I haven't heard of yet?"

I shifted in my chair and shook my head. "No, I just...I had a fight with Brady Sunday night. He hasn't apologized...yet."

Claire made a snorting noise in the back of her throat. "Don't hold your breath. I think Regan is still waiting for her apology."

"I bet if I told him to do it he would."

Claire snorted again. "I bet he would too."

"Do you..." I was about to ask her about the wolfy secret, but the cafeteria was too crowded. Luckily she was busy on her cell phone at that point and didn't notice.

"So you don't want to come?"

"Nah. I have a date with some old movies in my basement."

"Suit yourself," she sighed. "I've got to get to AP Chem. Call me when you're done wallowing, alright, Blondie?" With that, she fluffed my hair and picked up her tray. I sat at the table alone and watched her prance away.

I let out a woeful sigh. I was most definitely not finished wallowing yet.

Later that night, I was sitting in my basement listening to the rain and going quote for quote with my 'Gone with the Wind' DVD. One thing was for sure: I knew I had something in common with Scarlett nowadays. We both apparently had a thing for mouthy assholes.

I sighed and sipped my Fanta miserably. An embarrassing amount of sugary junk food was on the coffee table in front of me, detailing my downward spiral into more self-pity and self-loathing. For the millionth time that week, I second guessed myself which I hated. I was a smart, confident girl - god damn it. Who was he to make me question a decision?

I guess I was angry that I'd admitted my plans for college so prematurely. I didn't know if I would go back to California – hell, I didn't even know if I'd go to a four year school. Maybe I'd take a year off. Maybe I'd travel. I didn't know. I didn't want to know. Wasn't that the beauty of having your entire life laid out in front of you? Wasn't that the best part of your teen years – the uncertainty?

Brady had lost his shit when I'd spilled the beans about going away to school. It was a little ridiculous though – what did he care? He and I both knew this thing we had together was a passing phase. He'd admitted himself that he was an asshole-ish man-whore. I was willing to bet that our little fling would keep him occupied another twenty minutes tops. So why was he flipping out about next year? It didn't make any sense at all.

I was just getting to the part in the movie where Scarlett begs Rhett to stay with her. It had never made me particularly angry before, but now it did.

"Fuck, Rhett," I growled at the screen. My hands searched for the bag of twizzlers beside me. "Fuck him. You don't need him. Let the asshole go. Ulgh...take your own advice, Lexi," I groaned to myself.

I was so engrossed in the final scenes of the movie and cussing out Rhett that I almost didn't hear the quiet taps on the sliding glass door that led out to the backyard. I peeled my eyes away from the large screen television long enough to realize Brady was standing at the door.

Shirtless.

And in the rain.

I jumped up and tried to keep my eyes from popping out of my head. "What are you doing here?!" I hissed quietly, more to myself than anything.

His mouth moved in answer, but I couldn't hear him through the rain and the sounds from the TV. Jumping up, I yanked the door open and pulled him inside. His bare skin was soaking wet and hot.

"I said I wanted to talk to you," he whispered.

"My dad and Patrick are upstairs. You have to be quiet...and...you heard me say that?"

He shrugged and shook his head a little, his inky short locks spraying water on me. I wiped my cheeks and glared up at him. He gave me an impish grin.

"Sorry. It's a dog thing."

"Right," I said quietly, chewing my lip. "Is Superman-eque hearing part of it too?"

He nodded. "I can hear, smell and see probably fifty times better than you."

"Nice," I said. "Why are your shirtless? In the rain? And at my house without a car?"

He eyed me as if to say 'duh'.

"Were you just...wolf-ed out?"

He smirked and brushed a bit of grass off his torso. My eyes lingered on his defined abs before ripping away to look him in the eye. "I phased, actually...is what we call it," he muttered, "and I ran over here. I have patrol in a few hours, so I just thought I'd come by to talk to you."

"Wait...you turned into a wolf and...ran to my house? From your house in La Push?"

He shrugged. "Takes me eight minutes to get here wolf style, twenty by truck. What would you have done?"

I couldn't contain my amused smile. "That's awesome," I laughed. "Hey wait...I'm mad at you. What are you even doing here?"

His shoulders slumped as he looked down at me with a miserable grimace. "I know you are. And I'm sorry."

I rolled my eyes and stomped back to my nest of blankets and empty junk food wrappers. I stopped in front of the couch and whirled around. He sounded sincere. And it seriously pissed me off that he got to get away with being so moody. "Jekyll and Hyde much?"

"What?"

"You! You, Mr Hot and Cold. What the hell was that about on Sunday? And then I don't hear from you for a week. I don't have any experience with this kinda stuff, but you'd make a shitty boyfriend mister. You suck at being nice to people."

Brady made a face and frowned. "So...you've seriously never had a boyfriend before?"

"No. And...I don't intend to start, either."

He sighed miserably again and reached out to touch me. I dodged his hand and glared at him. "Don't think that coming in here all wet and shirtless and...godly is going to do you any favors. I'm sick of your girly bitchfits about nothing, Brady."

His eyebrows shot up. "I think it takes one to know one. You happen to be the queen of girly bitchfits."

I put my hand on my hip and gave him my best glower. "Yeah? Well the difference between you and me is that I'm a teenage girl and you're a grown-ass man. Now which one of us is entitled to have a bitchfit more than the other?"

"You're more grownup than you give yourself credit for."

I rolled my eyes and walked to the bathroom nearby, grabbing a towel. I emerged and tossed it at him. "Don't get your dog stink all over my house."

"You love my dog stink. You love that I can phase...don't you?" he asked timidly. He'd started that sentence out in a cocky tone but that had tapered off. I looked over at him and gave him a wobbly smile. As arrogant and needy as Brady could be, the fact that he could turn into a giant wolf was something out of a Disney movie.

"Maybe. I like the fairytale part of you, not the bitchfit part."

He put his hands out and shrugged. "I'm a package deal, babe."

"Babe," I snorted, rolling my eyes. "But seriously though, you can't throw fits like that. Fits like that will earn you a one way ticket out the door, alright? I like having a wolfy friend and all, but...not if he's going to be moody as hell and freak out for no reason."

"I know, I know…my temper. I've heard the same thing my whole life."

"Well then aren't you getting tired of hearing it then? Grow up," I laughed.

"Lex," he said softly, stepping closer, "you know I'd never hurt you, right? I couldn't...I..." he trailed off, shaking his head.

"Well, guess what? You already did," I snapped. I turned around and grabbed a twizzler off the coffee table and bit into it angrily. Being upset made me crave sugar, and I was sure as hell upset with him right now. How did he get to be so moody, and I couldn't be? It wasn't fair.

"I know I did, alright? Why do you think it even took a week to work up the nerve to come and talk to you, huh?"

"Because you lack balls, I don't know!"

"Just...please don't be mad at me. Lexi, I...I got upset because I finally found you, and you're amazing and I panicked, okay? I panicked at the thought of you leaving me already."

"What do you mean you 'found me'? What were you looking for?"

He stepped even closer now, his musky, woodsy scent making my head spin a little. "My perfect match. That's you – don't you see that? We're perfect for each other. We're both so...us. We fit. Don't you feel it?"

"I...I don't know. I've never...done this...whatever it is we're doing. I don't know what it's supposed to feel like Brady. Honestly, I just...I'm barely treading water here. Can't you understand that?"

"Ignore that. How do you feel when you're with me?"

"Right," I admitted before thinking. I winced and closed my eyes, scratching my head. "I mean...I don't know."

"Don't you feel like we fit together? Do you feel the pull?"

"Pull?" I snapped. "What pull?"

He cocked his head to the side and eyed me, inching closer and closer. "I know you do. Don't lie."

"You're a creep," I muttered.

"Yeah, but you like me," he insisted. He was standing so close to me I was getting a little cross eyed. But as angry as I was and as much as I pretended to hate him, I loved it. He was right – I was drawn to him like a moth to a flame, and I loved it.

"I kinda do," I muttered before his mouth crashed into mine. I squeaked against his lips and tried not to panic as his mouth molded against mine. My mind was still screaming at me to be angry with him, but I couldn't get my body to agree as I wrapped my arms around his torso. I could feel the thick, muscled bands of his bare arms as he slid them around my waist, pulling me closer. I craned my neck back to kiss him deeper, but when I finally got my head on straight, I pushed the stupid idiot away.

"No," I insisted. "I'm still mad at you. Don't think that kissing me will work. Last Sunday was a hot mess, Brady. Admit it."

He shrugged. "I know it was. And I can't take it back – so at least let me fix it?"

"Kissing never fixed anything. Just ask Scarlett," I said, motioning to the TV. Brady's response was to dramatically roll his eyes and snort.

"Chick flicks don't know shit about us. Just...will you do something for me?"

"If it will make me want to forgive you, then no."

"It will make you hate me."

"Then fine."

"Come for a ride with me."

I frowned and wrinkled my nose, looking down at my ratty yoga pants and hoodie. I was in no condition to go anywhere, much less a ride. "A ride where? And on what?"

He took my hand and held his finger to his lips to urge me to be quiet. I shrugged and followed him out the basement door onto the back lawn. "Be quiet. Don't scream, okay? When I phase, get on my back and hold on. I can't talk when I am in wolf form, alright?"

I exhaled sharply and stared up at him in the dim light. A light rain was still falling, but it had almost turned to mist. Even in human form, he looked unearthly, standing in my backyard in only a pair of ripped khaki shorts. This was supernatural though, and I was tempted to get another taste of it. He didn't scare me; he fascinated me.

"Is that a yes?"

I could only nod. He grinned and kissed me quickly on the lips, a fast peck before I could protest. He then reached up and gently pulled the hair tie out of my hair.

"What—"

"Trust me – you'll enjoy it more like this. Come on Lex, let your hair down," he said with a wink. "Just get on my back. Don't you trust me?"

I crossed my arms and shook my head. "Actually...no."

He batted his deep brown eyes at me, and I felt my heart flutter in my chest. Brady's eyes flicked down to my chest, and I almost thought he was checking me out. But then I remembered what he'd said about his hearing.

"Did you..."

He gave me a tiny nod.

I smiled back at him, entranced. He'd just gone from asshole to magical, storybook asshole.

I was weirdly enchanted. "Yes."

"Yes what?"

"Yes, I trust you."

"Good," he smirked, turning around. His bare ass became visible in the dim light of the backyard as he pulled his pants down and tossed them into the bushes. I laughed and looked away, shaking my head.

I barely had time to mutter the word 'showoff' before there was a shimmering sound in the air and suddenly, I wasn't with human Brady anymore. A huge black wolf stared back at me, his eyes...expectant.

"Oh...right," I muttered. I reached my hand out experimentally, pausing. "Can I touch you?"

He nodded his huge head, blinking his dark brown eyes. His head lowered slightly as he leaned forward towards my outstretched hand. When my fingers made contact with his fur, I was surprised. I expected it to be terribly wiry and coarse, but it felt like a husky's fur. I ran my fingers through the downy fluff that covered his face, sliding my hand to scratch behind his ears. I laughed as his hind leg started twitching like a dog's would.

"Seriously?" I laughed.

He made a chuffing noise in the back of his throat and bobbed his head. I watched as he leaned down into a sitting position so that his stomach was against the grass, finally remembering that I was supposed to be getting on his back. Glancing over my shoulder in the direction of my house, I hoped my dad and Patrick wouldn't notice I was gone from the basement. Throwing my leg over his back, I held on tight as he stood up.

"This is amazing," I giggled, leaning forward to steady myself. Brady gave an excited growl before ducking into the woods with me on his back.

I think I could get used to this fairytale thing.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17: A Breakthrough

(Lexi)

I dug my hands into his fur and hunched over his churning shoulder blades as we flew through the forest.

It was unlike anything I'd ever experienced before and I tried to compare it with things in my head but failed to come up with comparisons that likened riding on Brady's back through the woods. The late summer sprinkles of rain hit my face as he darted through the woods, sailing dangerously close to trees and rock faces. I was scared at first that we'd hit them and I'd be transformed into a human pancake, but at the last second before careening into something Brady's wolf form would dart to the side and avoid it. It was exhilarating.

"Holy shit," I laughed, shaking my head. He kept running at top speed (or what I assumed was his top speed) and I held on as tight as my arms would allow. The leaves on the trees and soft ferns whipped by occasionally, touching my leg or arms as we flew through the dark forest and I couldn't help but laugh. This was amazing.

I suddenly yelped as Brady slid to an almost immediate halt, his muddy paws no longer sinking into the landscape. We were on something hard. I looked up from his shoulders and loosened my grip as he lowered himself back down onto his stomach. I slid off and realized we were on a cliff overlooking the ocean. The salt water smell mixed with the light rain and fog, coating my skin in a grimy mixture. I didn't mind it though; it felt weirdly nice. I felt positively wild and free and just unhinged in the best way. A little rain and dirt didn't bother me for once.

I didn't have shoes on, but that didn't matter. My tattered, damp yoga pants stuck to my heels as I stepped off his back and onto the hard ground below. He rose to his feet and only caught my eye as he began to blur around the edges.

"Brady?!" I began to panic, thinking something was horribly wrong until I realized he was transitioning from wolf to human form. He rose up on two legs instead of four and flashed a perfect white grin at me.

"Wow," I said suddenly, grinning back. It was pretty dark, but he still cupped his hands over his privates and gave me a bashful look.

"So what did you think?"

I snorted. "It's the only way to travel. Nice trick though. Got any more?"

Brady rolled his eyes and eyed my hoodie. "Care if I borrow that? I forgot my pants in the bushes at your house."

"You're lucky it's so warm out," I grumbled, shrugging out of it. I handed it to him and wrinkled my nose as he tied it around his waist with a grimace.

"It'll do. Just didn't think you wanted me walking around with my junk hanging out."

"No," I laughed, wrinkling my nose. "It's fine, really. Just...keep it. I'm just surprised that you are bashful, considering what a man-whore you were."

Brady chuckled and arranged my thin sweatshirt over his nether regions before turning and taking my hand. "Come on, the view is great up here."

"Where are we?" I asked, looking around. I rubbed my pebbled arms – the ocean air was slightly chillier than the dark forest, and I knew it wouldn't be long until I was freezing.

"La Push. The Cliffs. We come here a lot."

"For what?"

He gave me a cocky grin before gazing out to the dark water. "Swimming. Diving. You know the works."

"You dive from up here? No shit."

He shrugged. "It's hard to find something that gives you a rush when you're practically indestructible."

I snorted. "Cocky are we?"

Brady shook his head and stood beside me. "No, it's true. I can break bones, survive big falls, cuts heal in minutes, and I can even take a bullet. Wolves heal extra fast because of our genes."

"A bullet?" I asked skeptically, "Now you're just showing off and running your damn mouth."

"Swear," he promised. I gazed out at the dark ocean with the angry waves and shuddered. Inching my way to the edge of the cliff, I dared a look down and almost barfed. It was so high. Brady's hand suddenly shot out and caught my arm.

"Easy there. I'm indestructible, not you."

"Would you catch me if I fell?" I asked, inching forward again. "Would you rescue me?" I laughed. "It's from 'Pretty Woman', I duno..."

He rolled his eyes in the darkness and gently yanked me back from the edge. "Yes, but I'd like to not take a dip in the freezing cold ocean. I'd be fine but you would be less than toasty."

I inched closer to his bare arm, realizing what he meant. Even in the chilly night air and ocean breeze, Brady was positively roasting. He was always warm, but I'd never put much thought into it before. I just thought he was hot physically and figuratively.

"You're warm," I said, leaning against him. I molded effortlessly against his side as we stared into the darkness. I'm sure he could see a thousand times better than I could and appreciate the view, but I didn't care. Being out here on the cliffs in the late summer air was pretty, and I didn't want to complain.

"See that?"

"See what?"

He sighed. "I duno...we just like...fit."

"You're not so smooth wearing my hoodie as a sarong, are ya?"

Brady rolled his eyes at me and lightly elbowed my side. I feigned hurt and shook my head.

"Fit or no fit...or imprint or whatever...I'm still mad at you."

He stared at my profile and shrugged. He got really quiet for a moment and the only sound was the faint echoes of the waves below hitting the rocky cliff.

"So? You're always mad at me, Lex."

I looked at him sideways and frowned. "Since when can you call me Lex?"

Brady snorted and kicked at the rough ground with his foot as he tried not to smile. "Well, you're already mad at me. What difference does it make?"

"Fine," I laughed, shaking my head. "Why do you fly off the handle like that?" I asked him seriously.

He swallowed, leaning more weight on me and resting his head on mine. "Because I'm an asshole."

"We've been over that."

"I'm sorry. Is that worth anything to you?" he whispered.

"Yes. Sorry helps – but it doesn't fix it or take away the hurt."

"I know," he admitted.

"It...it weirdly like...hurts when you freak out like that. When you fly off the handle and become someone else, it really hurts me and don't blame the wolf thing, Brady, I know that's crap."

He snorted. "So you've known my wolfy secret for a whole week now and you think you know everything?"

"Well, correct me if I'm wrong—"

"You're not wrong! Okay? You're not. That's why I'm angry," he chuckled bitterly, shaking his head. He looked down at me and sighed. "I don't want to hurt you. I need you."

"Why?" I challenged. "And don't say because of that 'imprint' thing. Wolfy shit aside, why do you need me so much?"

His dark eyes scanned my face as we stood there, face to face on the side of the seaside cliff. Finally, he looked down and shook his head slightly. "Because you see me, Lexi. More than anyone ever has."

I didn't have time to answer. His lips were against mine and he was kissing me and just – oh. I couldn't argue with his mouth on mine, his tongue probing between my lips and curling against my tongue and...

I pushed him away and shook my head. "I see you, huh?"

He grinned and nodded, kissing me again. I kissed him back, my stomach in pleasant knots and my weight shifting up to stand on the balls of my feet to just get closer. He groaned against my mouth and I felt his hands at my waist. I didn't even realize he was on the ground until my weight shifted, and I ended up straddling him completely. Our kisses grew deeper and deeper until his hands started digging into my skin and he was shifting his pelvis up against my hips. I sighed into his lips and didn't even realize I was grinding against his lap until I felt how hard he was.

Shit.

My eyes flew open and I sat up quickly, wiping off my mouth and hopping off of him. My stomach was all in weird butterflies, and I wasn't sure if it was adrenaline or need or just...it felt weird. Different weird. Good different weird. I shook my head and stared out at the ocean as he stood up and made his way over to me.

"I'm gonna...assume I did something wrong?"

"No," I snapped quietly, refusing to look at him. "I just...think we should stop."

I saw him shake his head in the corner of my eye. "You take that whole 'virgin' thing pretty seriously then?"

And there we were again. Rage boiled up inside of me until I couldn't even see straight. "Why yes, man-slut extraordinaire, I do. I'm a virgin and proud of it."

"Prude," he jabbed.

"I prefer the term 'selective', but fine."

"I'm only giving you shit about it. That's nice."

I had to laugh. "Nice? My virginity is 'nice'? Smooth, Brady, real smooth."

He rolled his eyes and bumped his shoulders against mine in the darkness. "Okay, I put my foot in my mouth, give me a break."

"Just try not to be such an ass about it. I'm not sorry I'm a virgin. Virgins are...cool," I insisted, sticking my chin in the air.

"But you're seriously a senior in high school and you've never..."

"Um, no, not even close," I admitted with a little laugh. "I mean...earlier this year my dad and Patrick gave me this big long speech about how important it was to not give into the pressures of other kids and society and whatnot, and I just remember thinking...'I'd have to get off the couch first if I was ever going to have sex'," I laughed nervously.

"What do you mean? You never wanted to?"

"No, not particularly. Most of my nights back in California were hanging out with my parents and my little brothers. I wasn't one of those...those cool kids, ya know? Like the kids in the jean commercials who are always going to some epic party with all these other beautiful people?"

"I guess I know what you mean, yeah."

"Well, that was never me. I never did that, even back home in Cali. There were this group of really 'cool' kids that always went out and partied and drank and they all looked like they were twenty five, I swear. I always looked at them and wondered what that would be like, but...I mean...I had friends and all, but...we'd like go see a PG-13 movie and sneak our drug store candy in. That was our big thrill. I never went out and drank or partied or did anything bad. I spent most nights doing extra credit or watching 'I Love Lucy' marathons with my dad. If I stayed up until three in the morning, it was because I was in my pajamas looking up like...cat videos on YouTube or playing around on Tumblr. It's just...the situation never presented itself."

And it hadn't. While the kids around me looked like supermodels that spent weekends 'clubbing' and hooking up and partying...I never did any of that. My parents had rules about who I hung out with and what time I was to be home, and I didn't even have a curfew. I would have had to have gone somewhere to even need one in the first place.

"I could have used a bit more of that," he hummed softly. "Not that whole cat videos on YouTube thing, but I could have used a mom and dad who actually gave a shit what time I came home."

"Your mom seems like she cares a lot about you. I've...I've never met your dad."

"You don't' want to, I promise," he said quickly, shaking his head. "If you think I'm an asshole, well...I got my pointers from him growing up, we'll leave it at that."

"Bad, huh?"

"I'd rather not talk about it. Let's talk more about you."

I laughed and stared out at the dark waves. "More about how lame I am? Sure. I'm super cool."

"No, you are. Don't let anyone ever tell you you're not. Especially not from an asshole like me. You're perfect, Lex. Just the way you are."

"Right. Well...virgin and all?"

He sighed. "If I could take it all back and be one again, I would. In a heartbeat."

"Why?"

He shrugged. "Well...I guess I just thought it was cool to go out and just...be a dog. But looking back, it...it wasn't. I used sex as a way to get attention. And I guess in a weird way...affection."

As uncomfortable as our little conversation was, I was confused. "Well aren't...sex and affection kinda one and the same?"

He raised an eyebrow at me in the dim light. "Um...no. Not always. I mean if it is, I don't...no," he chuckled awkwardly. "What I did with those girls wasn't affection."

I shuddered slightly as his voice changed. It was quieter; raspier. Full of shame. "It's alright," I said, reaching out to touch his shoulder. He seemed to lean into my touch, his dark eyes a little sad. "It's not a big deal. Your number doesn't define you."

He gave me a sad look. "Good. Don't ever be sorry for being who you are, Lexi. You're amazing. I'm sorry I brought this whole thing up."

I shrugged. "It's alright. You wanna head back?"

Brady nodded. He handed me back my hoodie with a smirk, laughing when I hurriedly turned back around to avoid looking at him naked. He stepped back and phased again, and it took me another two or three minutes of staring and petting and smiling at his wolfy self before I remembered to climb on his back and hold on tight. We flew through the woods a little slower this time, both of us a little unwilling to completely say goodnight.

When he dropped me off at the back door again, I pulled on my hoodie and tried not to look down after he phased back.

"This is it then. Can we hang out tomorrow?"

I wrinkled my nose and shrugged. "I mean...I've kinda got homework to do and stuff."

His shoulders visibly slumped as he placed himself strategically behind a planter to cover his nether regions. I felt the permanent blush I'd been sporting quietly receding as he was finally covered. I was no prude, but it was just weird being around a six foot something, muscled older guy in the buff.

"That's alright. Can I at least text you?" he asked hopefully.

I sighed. "I guess."

Brady held up his hands and feigned hurt. "Don't do me any favors then."

"You can text me. You gave me a ride on your back and that was awesome, so yes you can text me."

He smirked. "Fine. Am I forgiven then?"

I crossed my arms as the nighttime air continued to grow chillier and chillier. "No. I'm not that easy."

Brady shifted on his feet and rolled his eyes at me. "I guess you wouldn't be you if you were." He looked at me sternly and made me stop in my tracks. "On a serious note though...you can't tell Regan about all this."

"Doesn't she know? Isn't Seth...?"

I hadn't mentioned anything to Claire or Regan about Brady and his wolfy-ness just in case; I wasn't sure exactly what the etiquette was when it came to things like that. Was it alright to talk about or not? I wasn't sure, so I'd kept quiet about it. Brady shook his head.

"He is, but...that's his secret to tell her. We can't say anything to her about it alright?"

"Fine. Fair enough. I wouldn't tell—"

"I didn't think you would," he said gently, "but I had to at least say something. Jake would want me to."

"What does Jake have to do with it?"

Brady crossed his arms tighter and shrugged. "He's the Alpha. Every pack has one, and he's ours. Keeping the secret is really important to him. It should be, but whatever. I just needed to tell you about Seth and Regan."

"So he's her best friend and she has no idea?"

Brady laughed. "There's no rule book on how to tell people what you are. There's no instruction manual with a step by step plan. You just have to figure it out as you go, I guess. Seth is still...trying to figure it out."

"I guess it did take you awhile to tell me," I sighed.

"Exactly. Everyone is different. He's just taking his time. Although it would be easier for him to just come out and tell her—"

"Why?" I asked. "Why does she have to know?"

Brady looked at me squarely as his dark eyes burned into mine. "Lex, it's never fun or easy to lie to the people closest to you. The people that care...I mean, no one likes to avoid telling the truth."

I nodded and looked at my feet. "I guess you're right. I'm glad you told me. That can't be an easy thing to live with."

"No," he snorted, "it's certainly not. So...just don't tell Regan yet, alright? Seth is going to figure out a way to tell her soon."

"Okay," I said simply, nodding. "I promise."

"Thanks." Brady looked up in surprise, his face going a little slack before I could realize what was happening. I turned around and saw Patrick approaching the basement sliding glass door with a frown on his face as he spotted me. Shit! I looked to where Brady was standing only to see he had vanished. I looked around the darkened backyard in question, completely thrown off as Patrick slid the door open.

"Lexi?"

"Yeah," I breathed, turning around. I gave him my best smile and waited to see if I was busted or not.

"What are you doing out here, honey?"

I glanced back into the woods at the edge of the lawn and shrugged. "Just...getting some air."


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your arms around me come undone  
> Makes my heart beat like a drum  
> See the panic in my eyes  
> Kiss me only when I cry  
> Cause you always want what you're running from  
> And you know this is more than you can take  
> Baby don't forget my name  
> When the morning breaks us  
> Baby please don't look away  
> When the morning breaks us  
> Oh your touch, so bittersweet
> 
> Ellie Goulding - Bittersweet

Chapter 18: Changing Tides

Brady

I could tell by the look on Lexi's face that keeping a secret from Regan wouldn't be easy for her. My imprint had grown close to Seth's imprint over the past eight months and were best friends, so keeping the wolfy secret would be no easy feat. I knew Lexi was trustworthy, so I didn't feel bad about telling her. I just hated how she had to keep it a secret from one of her best friends. Living the life I did, I knew that keeping secrets from those people close to you was never easy or fun. Part of me dreaded the idea of dragging someone as innocent to the ways of the world as Lexi into the web of white lies and fibs we would have to tell due to my lifestyle. Being in a relationship with a wolf was no easy feat –chances were that she would eventually have to tell someone a lie just to cover up my secret. I didn't like making her do that but what choice did I have?

I dug my toes into the cool, freshly cut grass and waited for her response. She was blushing as she tried not to look at my naked form, but that didn't bother me – I wanted her to see the goods if that would help her decide to be with me.

"So...just don't tell Regan yet, alright? Seth is going to figure out a way to tell her soon."

Lexi gave me her signature skeptical look but still nodded. "Okay...but why hasn't he told her again?"

"Who knows. Look….can you just promise?"

"I promise."

"Thanks," I said calmly. I was about to reconsider breaking my promise not to kiss her again as she stood before me, but another beating heart besides our own began approaching. Looking up, I quickly zeroed my talented ears inside the house where her stepfather Patrick was quickly approaching. Lexi turned around to follow my gaze with a panicked expression. I backed silently away while her head was turned and melted into the woods a millisecond before Patrick opened the basement sliding glass door. I bit back a quiet snicker as Lexi turned back around and searched the space behind her where I'd just been standing with a slightly bewildered look on her face. In the dark cover of the woods, I smiled.

I'd win her over yet. It would just be a bumpy ride.

I cowered behind a tree as Patrick walked out onto the brick patio. "Lexi?"

"Yeah?" she asked in a quaking voice. I'd clearly unsettled her with my stealthy retreat.

"What are you doing out here, honey?"

"Just...getting some air," she replied lamely. I rolled my eyes at her silly response. There wasn't a really 'logical' explanation per se for this situation, but Lexi would have to work on her fibbing skills if she was going to have a shape shifter for a best friend (and hopefully something more). I waited for her to return back inside with Patrick. She walked through the grass towards him, glancing behind her with a leery expression a few times before finally wiping her bare feet on the rug. Patrick ushered her inside and slid the door shut.

"Are you alright?"

"Um...yeah," she smiled. I peered out from behind the tree and focused my hearing so that I could hear what was going on through the glass.

"You've been acting a little different these past few weeks. Your dad and I are getting' kinda worried, kid. Everything alright?"

I heard my imprint sigh. "Yeah, I guess. I mean...things are just changing. Senior year, ya know."

"Right. Well...if you need to talk I'm here, okay?" Patrick's voice had taken on a soothing tone that he tended to use around her. Her father was a bit clipped and harsh at times, whereas his partner, Patrick was the one who preferred to coddle her a bit.

"I know. Thanks Patrick."

"You gonna stay down here? You want some company?"

"Um...you know what? Sure. I'm not ready to go to sleep yet."

"Too much on your mind?"

Lexi snorted. "That's putting it lightly."

I listened to them settle back down on the couch together, the fabric rustling slightly. I heard the opening tunes to The Notebook and had to smile to myself at the memory I had of watching that movie with Lexi. She was definitely a die-hard romantic at heart. Shaking my head, I pushed away from the tree and phased.

I kept the memory carefully guarded in the back of my mind as I ran back towards the west, the voices of my pack mates joining my head. They were all several miles over in a clearing for another training session with Freaky Fred.

You're late, Jake's un-approving voice boomed in my ears.

Imprint business, I explained without elaborating. I felt Seth's questioning thoughts as his mind invaded my own. He had been looking for answers on how to approach the imprint subject to Regan for a long time. His mind searched for what I'd told Lexi, but I wasn't going to help him out. I could tell he was looking for helpful hints on breaking the wolfy news.

Not so fast, I told him. I told Lexi on my own, so you can tell Regan without my help. You're a smart pup, I teased, racing through the woods. He snarled in response, clearly in no mood to deal with my antics tonight. I watched through Jacob's thoughts as the freaky nomadic vampire named Fred that the Cullen's had somewhat adopted stood in the middle of the clearing. My pack mates were taking turns sparring with him as he flexed his repulsive talent. I slid into the clearing and locked eyes with the pale blonde freak, my hackles standing up with the challenge of a fight.

He turned to me with his new ocher gaze and nodded. Fred, or Freaky Fred, as I called him was spending his time bouncing back and forth between the Cullen home in Forks and the Denali home in Alaska. He didn't trust himself around humans yet, and as a new vegetarian vampire, he greatly enjoyed the outdoors and what the openness of the olympic peninsula had to offer. I guess he'd been somewhat of a budding scientist when he was changed – he had been out in the woods collecting data for a college project when he was cut short and kidnapped by Riley for that red headed bitch Victoria to change. He escaped the newborn arm we'd annihilated because he could tell the due was up to no good and he wanted out. So, he'd been living as a nomad ever since then. He'd only found the Cullens earlier that spring after we had originally found him after prom. He'd been trying to be a vegetarian for almost a year with only sporadic success, so he knew he need to try to find others of his kind. I couldn't blame him for wanting to separate himself from temptation; in fact, I sort of respected him for it. From what Edward had described to Seth, being around humans without practice was like being in a steakhouse after not eating for days. The smells would eventually make you ravenous if you weren't careful.

As much as I hated him, I did realize that that evil fuck Riley had stolen his life away and it was not by his personal choice, unlike Bella Swan, a human girl who chose that life. The fewer humans he killed, the better.

However, he was still a fucking bloodsucker that I had to fight the urge to kill.

I surged forward through the dirt and mud, my paws gaining traction as I sped up. I leaped into the air at the last second, hoping to miss the arc of his disgusting talent as he projected the invisible force towards me. I thought I had him until my ass hit the ground, and I could taste mud and grass in my teeth.

Shit. So much for that.

I lowered myself to my belly the next day, my eyes peering through the trees. I listened intently as my father's truck fired up and rolled out of the driveway, leaving my mother alone in the house. Satisfied that I wouldn't be caught, I quickly phased back to human form and pulled on a dirty pair of ripped shorts. I crossed the lawn and gave a tired yawn before letting myself in through the front door.

"Hello?"

"Brady?"

My mother came from the kitchen, her long hair up in a messy knot on top of her head. She was in a pair of yoga pants and a zip up sweatshirt, the purple bags under her eyes apparent.

"You look awful," she sighed, her shoulder slumping. "You father just left."

"I know," I sighed. "What's wrong?"

She shrugged. "I was worried about you. Did you and Lexi make up?"

I nodded. "Of course we did."

My mother sighed in exasperation and shook her head at me. "I was worried she—"

"Look ma, I'm still getting the hang of this whole imprint situation myself, alright? But even if we fight, which we always do, we'll get over it. That's what this whole thing is about."

I followed her into the kitchen as she gave me a skeptical glare over her shoulder. "Right. Well, by the way you were acting the other night I wouldn't be shocked if the girl washed her hands of you. Who are you to tell her she can't go to college?"

I rolled my eyes and sat down at the kitchen counter. "Gee, where might I have seen a man stupidly trying to bully a woman into doing whatever he wanted?" I deadpanned.

She gave me an understanding look before shaking her head again and firing up the stove. "BLTs okay?"

I grinned and nodded. "Sounds perfect."

"Your father is just...stubborn. He think he knows what's best, it's not that he's trying to be mean to me. He just wants what's best."

"Sure he does."

"Brady...I had hoped you would inherit his other traits. Seriously, you need to remember that the next time you talk to Lexi. She's so young and impressionable. It's clear she doesn't have a lot of experience with boys, honey. Don't let her first experience be a horrible one, full of fights and guilt trips and all that."

I sighed. "Mom, I'm not trying to be an asshole. I'm trying to make her love me and want to be with me because we belong together."

My mother gave an exasperated sigh as she ripped open the bag of bacon. "Well Brady, if that's what you want, then you have to give her a reason to love you. You can't just expect to snap your fingers and get her to automatically fall in love with you, crazy imprint magic be damned. Love isn't like that. Especially not first love. That's not the way it works, I'm afraid."

I scrubbed my face with my hands and gave an exasperated growl. "Well, then how does it fucking work? I've done everything I can. I've been her friend. I've been there for her. I've tried being calm, funny, nice, cheerful...argh," I grunted. "I'm running out of ideas."

My mother shook her head at me. "She's a seventeen year old girl that has never had a boyfriend before – if that was you, how would you want to be treated?"

I watched the bacon snap and jump on the grill, the enticing aroma filling the large kitchen. My mother shook her head and reached for one of the wine glasses on the shelf next to her, her other hand going for the already open bottle of Pinot. My eyes followed her movements as she poured herself a glass to drink as she waited for the bacon to cook. I stood up and moved to put some bread in the toaster.

"Little early for that, don't you think?" I asked.

She tossed her head and gave me a meek smile. "I had a rough morning."

Figuring it was useless to argue, I loaded up the toaster and sat back down at the counter. "I'm just...she's not like other girls. None of my old charming tricks work on her and she's making me—"

"Work for it?" my mother interrupted. She smirked to herself and sipped her wine. "I knew I liked her for a reason."

I ate lunch with my mom and headed home after that, my emotions in a full tailspin after an afternoon of relationship pointers. My mother had spent the last twenty five years of her life in a marriage with a man who was my carbon copy, and that was the exact opposite of what I wanted to be in life. He treated her like dirt, and I didn't want to the cycle to continue. However, I knew boys sometimes had a tendency to turn out like their fathers. How could I stop it? My father was the last person I wanted to be.

I strode into the house past Embry, who was reading the newspaper at the kitchen table. He gave me a skeptical look as I plunked a handle of very expensive whiskey down on the table in front of him.

"I've been a dick roommate lately. Apologies," I offered.

He eyed me with his dark brown gaze for a moment and nodded. Apology accepted then. We'd torn into each other a few times in wolf form lately as a result of a tension filled living situation at home, but gnawing on each other in wolf form was hardly a sign that everything was okay between us. I knew I'd been more of a dick than usual for the past few months. I felt like my life had been turned upside down since I met Lexi in the spring, and now that it was late summer, I knew I was long overdue for an apology.

Embry held a grudge, but apparently I'd caught him on a good day. "Help me drink this sometime and we'll be all good," he said finally, giving me a brotherly nod. I grinned and slapped my palm against his. That I could definitely do.

August had slipped by and before we knew it, September was in full swing. While the weather had been a little colder than normal, it was actually sunny for a change, and I found myself immersed in construction work. I was putting the finishing details on Lexi's father's carriage house after work and on the weekends and was soon running out of excuses to hang around without looking like a complete creep. I think her father was on to me; every time she would bring me out water or lemonade and linger to chat for half an hour, I'd always sense him watching.

But that was okay. As long as I got to spend time with Lexi and build up our friendship, that was fine with me. We were steadily becoming best friends and even flirting a little. I'd backed off on the touching and kissing and all that to try to help my chances along, but I was quickly growing impatient. With any other girl, withholding the affection I so badly craved (not to mention the physical stuff), I would have gotten bored and been long gone by this point.

But Lexi...

She only intrigued me more. The more I learned about her and the more time I actually spent with her, the more I yearned to do even more of it. We talked for hours about the stupidest, most trivial things but somehow...somehow that helped us bond. She was now used to Forks and closer than ever to Regan and Claire, and she was clearly thriving during her senior year of high school. She'd stopped talking about going away to college even though I was sure she still thought about it. Any mention of next year brought a looming cloud over us, so we avoided the topic altogether. I was honestly trying to take my mother's advice and cross my fingers that Lexi would see the real me, instead of the me from the past.

My mother was right all along; I needed to be a worthy first love. For her, I would be.

Seth sat slumped over the table, a tumbler full of ice and whiskey gripped in his hands. I cringed and glanced at one of the few remaining glasses we had as it strained to stay in one piece despite his grip. We were sitting on our back deck at the tiny house I shared with Embry, the three of us doing our best to get drunk. I wasn't a huge drinker in that sense (drinking to get drunk), but I knew Seth could use it tonight.

"Easy on the glass. That's actually one of the nicer ones," Embry chided him, reading my mind. I smirked and took another drink. We all knew why Seth was a bit 'on edge'.

"She turns eighteen tomorrow," he muttered, rubbing his eyes with his hands. "Eighteen."

"Yeah. Legal. We get it," Embry sighed.

"Age of consent in the state of Washington is sixteen brother," I laughed.

Embry rolled his eyes and Seth growled. "You would know that Brady."

"I'm just sayin', it's legal now, it always has been. Just go for it. Tell her. Take her out to a nice dinner, or a picnic on the cliffs, or something cheesy like that and just come clean."

Both Seth and Embry glared at me. "Just because it's her birthday doesn't mean I'm racing to give her a big...wolfy present," he muttered, taking a long drink. My stomach actually churned a little bit at the amount he quickly consumed. The pricey whiskey I'd given Embry and Seth was smooth but still packed a punch if you drank it quickly. Although, I realized that was probably the point. Seth had been stressing for months about how to tell Regan his secret – both of them, actually. That he was a shape shifting wolf and that he had imprinted on her.

"Just be honest. Be straight up. Girl's gotta appreciate that. Then just...look her in the eye, tell her you love her and always will and bam...in her pants."

Embry groaned and Seth took another drink, shaking his head at me. "Some habits die hard I guess, Brady."

I snorted. I guess he was right. Although hanging out with Lexi changed me for the better, sometimes I still forgot my manners and let the asshole come shining through.

"What are you gonna do when Lexi turns eighteen, smartass? Will things change for you?"

I shook my head. "She knows I'm a wolf. She knows I imprinted on her. I don't think she quite gets what that means, but eh...she'll learn. We'll learn together. We have time," I shrugged. I leaned back in my chair and downed the rest of my whiskey with a grimace. "Lexi is just being a kid right now. I get that. She's seventeen and learning the ropes. Luckily we're good friends now, and I can be around to chaperone."

Embry raised an eyebrow. "You? Chaperone? As in be a good influence? Please do tell."

"Well," I started, reaching for the bottle in the middle of the table, "when I'm around, I can watch her. Make sure other guys don't hit on her. I can also kinda be this older, wiser guy. She knows about my past and how I've gotten around, and I'm able to show her what not to be."

"Good point," Seth growled, shaking his head. I knew he was still a little angry with me that I'd beaten him to the punch so to speak with Regan; however, he knew I regretted that. He'd seen my thoughts.

"I just...I'm around to make sure she's alright. I kinda get to hang around while she figures out life. I duno, she'll be eighteen...crap, I don't know when her birthday is."

Seth snorted. "Regan said it's this week. They're having a sleepover to celebrate. You'd better get on that, Mr Wonderful."

"Shit," I groaned. "I should have known that."

What was I going to do? What was an appropriate gift for your imprint when you were together but not really together?

"You're welcome," he chuckled. "Forgetting an imprint's birthday would have really put you in a shit storm."

"That it would have," I agreed. I downed the rest of my drink and grabbed my phone off the table as I stood up. "Looks like I get to give Quil's pain in the ass imprint a call. Excuse me," I muttered, walking off the porch. I scrolled through my contacts for the one person I knew who would give me some guidance on my birthday dilemma.

I groaned as the screen of my phone lit up with the name I absolutely didn't want to call. Claire picked up on the first ring.

"And what do you want?"

I didn't hide my moan of defeat. "Seth heard from Regan that Lexi's birthday is this week."

Claire snorted into the phone. "It is."

"Seriously? What day?"

"Shouldn't you know this about her? If you're so in love with her then—"

"CLAIRE."

"Fine. Yes, it's on Thursday."

"Do you know what kind of flowers she likes?"

"Again, I think you should know—"

"CLAIRE!"

"Jesus! She liked those irises you sent her earlier this summer."

"I...how did you know about that?"

"Please," Claire snorted, "Lexi gets random flowers like a month after you two meet. Coincidence? No. But she told me she liked them and that roses are overdone."

"Yeah, she told me that too. Well, I wanted to get her something for her birthday and flowers seem nice since she won't go out on a date with me. I'd actually take her someplace nice, but she like...refuses to go in public with me."

Claire made a noise in the back of her throat that made my blood boil because I didn't have to hear her talk to know what she was thinking.

"Just...can it. Thank you for telling me when her birthday is though, I do appreciate it."

"Fine," Claire sighed. "Just get it together before it's too late. And kick Quil in the ass while you're at it, alright?"

"What's wrong with his ass?"

"He just...sees me as a baby still. I don't need a bottle anymore."

I couldn't help myself. "Yeah? You looking for something else to suck on now, big girl."

I laughed out loud as Claire promptly hung up on me. No matter; she'd told me everything I needed to know.

Later that week, I pulled into Lexi's driveway and parked my truck on the side of the new garage. I was finishing up with the trim along the edges, doing touch ups, and cleaning up the mud that had spilled onto the new concrete. I was basically finished with my work there and dreading not having an excuse to come to her house every day. I had work all day up in the town square, so by the time I got to her house, she was already home from school.

Today was her eighteenth birthday and I'd arranged to have a ridiculously large bouquet of red roses delivered to her at school today. It was more to slightly embarrass her and show any of the other guys at school that she was taken. Red roses sent that message, right? Even though Zeke assured me she wasn't ever acting interested when other boys her age pursued her in the hallways, I still worried.

I knew she thought the red roses would be overrated, so I also arranged for another ridiculously large bouquet of yellow sunflowers and wildflowers to be waiting on her bedroom dresser when she got home. And by arranged, I mean I'd hidden in the woods until her dads left that morning before scaling the side of her house and breaking into her bedroom window. Whoops.

I smirked to myself as I heard the side door open and her apple flavored scent hit my nose. I continued painting the trim on the side of the garage as she walked over to me and crossed her arms.

"Can I help you?" I asked, giving her a flirty smile over my shoulder.

She scoffed and tried not to laugh. "What was all that about?"

"What?"

"You know," she growled playfully. "The roses."

"What roses?" I asked, turning around. "Some guy sent you roses?"

She rolled her eyes. "I know you know today is my birthday, Brady, and my dad and Patrick certainly didn't get me two dozen red roses sent to me in the lunchroom with no card."

I tried to hide my smile. "That was nice of someone."

"Yeah, well...needless to say, it drew quite the attention. You're so ridiculous," she chuckled. I heard her hair sway against her jacket as she shook her head at me. "Not to mention the flowers on my dresser. Those were ten times more beautiful, but isn't breaking and entering still against the law?"

I feigned surprise. "Is it breaking and entering if your bedroom window is unlocked?"

I looked over my shoulder to see her eyebrows rise up in surprise. "You climbed up the side of the house and into my window with a gigantic vase of sunflowers in your hand?"

I shrugged. "Who said it was me?"

"Brady..."

"Fine," I snorted. "But I'm supernatural, remember?"

She rolled her eyes again and stomped her foot. "What is it with you and trying to lay some big wolfy claim on me?" she laughed. "You should have seen the faces of the kids at school."

"Good," I laughed, shaking my head. I ran the paintbrush around the corner of the trim and shifted to start on the next piece. I'd paint the shutters next and then I would sadly be finished.

"Just...chill, alright? I'm not dating anyone else."

"I know. I mean obviously if you were dating someone, it would be the joker that sent you two dozen roses."

"Right," she laughed.

I put the brush down and turned around to look at her squarely. "So are you going to let that same joker take you out for a birthday dinner?"

Lexi balked slightly, her blue eyes wide. "Like...like on a date?"

I shrugged. "Not necessarily. Just a birthday dinner. You. Me. Eating. Just dinner."

"Oh, so it's not a date?" she stuttered, a hint of disappointment in her voice.

"Well...it can be whatever you want it to be. I swear. Just...can I take you out to celebrate?"

She twisted her mouth a little before nodding and jamming her hands in her coat pockets. "I suppose a birthday meal is in order."

"Good," I said. "Then it's a date."


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All along it was a fever  
> A cold sweat hot-headed believer  
> I threw my hands in the air, said, "Show me something,"  
> He said, "If you dare come a little closer."
> 
> Round and around and around and around we go  
> Oh now tell me now tell me now tell me now you know
> 
> Not really sure how to feel about it.  
> Something in the way you move  
> Makes me feel like I can't live without you.  
> It takes me all the way.  
> I want you to stay
> 
> Stay - Rihanna

Chapter 19: Round and Round

Lexi

I guess you could say I finally gave in. Fine, whatever.

While most girls would have been severely creeped out at the sight of a ginormous bouquet of sunflowers and wildflowers on their bedroom dresser that someone obviously broke into their house to deliver... I was strangely touched. This was a small part of the fairytale I'd never known I'd always wanted. Brady was so different from other guys – not because of his werewolf status but because he had stayed true to his word and actually gotten to know me. Over the past few weeks we'd grown so close that I almost considered him my best friend.

If you would have told me six months ago that the foxy guy standing in my muddy driveway was going to be my best friend, I wouldn't have believed it for a second. But he was.

Things had changed between us over the past few weeks. Instead of trying to get into my pants, Brady had finally listened to my begging and pleading for friendship and obliged. We were friends – there was no touching, no real flirting, no talk of sex or other dirty things of that nature. None. Which was fine.

At first.

At first I'd been glad to have a chance to get to know him and hang out with him as a friend. We didn't fight or cuss or yell at each other over stupid crap that used to be there before. There was no underlying sexual tension driving us both crazy. Before, Brady knew what he wanted and couldn't have it, and I didn't know what I wanted and didn't know how to ask for it. Now we were just... friends.

And it was nice.

At first.

He was my shape shifting best friend that I could text at all hours of the night and exchange cheeky dog jokes with. I thought it would anger him when I teasingly referred to him as a big dog, but it turned out he was one step ahead of me and knew every canine related joke that ever existed and could fire back at me every time. We had fun together; we laughed, we talked, and we got to know each other... we put all the other stupid stuff aside.

And now that we were just friends... it made me want him.

I missed the flirting, the kissing, and the 'imprint pull' talk. He had briefly described it to me, but I still didn't quite get how he was suddenly so certain that I was the one for him. He acted like he'd known it all along and realized it the second he'd met me on the beach that day. But did I believe in love at first sight?

From what he'd described, that was what he was talking about. Did I think that was possible? I'd hated him when I met him because of what he'd done to Regan, but I'd always been attracted to him. You'd have to be blind to not be attracted to Brady. He was one big, muscled, tan, white-toothed package with Bambi eyes when he wanted to be. And he was smart. And charming. And surprisingly witty.

The more I got to know him, the more I realized I wanted more from him than friendship. But I felt stupid.

I'd spent such a long time insisting we stay friends and that was all I wanted that it felt silly now to backtrack and admit I wanted what he did. Brady had respected my wishes and hadn't kissed me since the night at the cliffs over a month ago. He'd kept his distance like he'd promised he would do and as soon as I started to get used to it, I didn't like it.

I wanted more again, but I knew it wasn't fair to play yo-yo with his emotions. Asshole or not, he still had wormed his way into my heart, and I cared deeply for him. He might be an asshole, but he was all mine.

I hoped.

I sat at the kitchen counter for a few minutes after agreeing to go on a date with him. I was celebrating with Patrick and my dad tonight, but tomorrow night was dedicated to dinner with Brady.

Dinner with Brady.

I smiled. Friday night in Forks was always the night you went out with your friends and did whatever, but Saturday night – Saturday night was date night. He was taking me out to a public place to eat, and he was taking me on the well-known date night. I leaned my chin on my hands and gazed at the red roses that now decorated the kitchen counter. I knew red roses were overdone and cliché and blah blah blah... but these were so pretty. My father had sent me daisies before for my birthday, but that was a fatherly gesture that clearly said 'Daddy's little girl'.

But red roses? Those said something else entirely. The look on the faces of everyone in the cafeteria had been awestruck – getting flowers sent to you at school in such a tiny town was a rare occasion. It was even rarer that the bouquet was half your size and bursting with red, perfumed blossoms. I inhaled their luscious scent, dreamily touching the petals as I debated what to tell my dad. I knew he liked Brady but was also skeptical – a hulking, twenty something, Native construction worker and wannabe architect wasn't quite who my father pictured me taking a liking to. That just wasn't me. I was all about my pink Converse sneakers and leggings with funky skirts I found at the Goodwill. I had perfect vision but sometimes wished I could wear glasses just so I could pick a funky pair that would make me even quirkier than I already was. I wasn't the type of girl that went for people like Brady.

I was all... meh, and Brady was all... muscles with a penchant for shiny trucks, gelled hair and cologne that made you think bad (okay, naughty) thoughts. He wasn't the type of person someone like me went for. But... it was getting harder and harder to deny that attraction.

I gulped as my father and Patrick walked through the door, their arms full of ice cream cake and pizza from the place on the town square. Their faces were lit up and Patrick actually had a dory balloon that I secretly loved as they walked into the kitchen with my birthday supplies. I gave them a guilty smile as they eyed the ridiculous garden that sat on our kitchen counter with open mouths.

"Um... Happy Birthday?" Patrick sputtered.

My father's eyebrows shot up his forehead with surprising speed. I could practically hear him calculating in his head as Patrick set the pizza and cake down on the counter. He sheepishly handed me the balloon and smiled.

"Someone got you flowers?"

I nodded. "Um... Brady. For my birthday," I admitted.

Patrick nudged my father with his elbow, making him jump and give me a shaky smile. "That was... nice. Extravagant, but nice."

Shit, I hoped he didn't see the sunflower garden in my room. I shifted on my stool at the kitchen counter and gave him a bright smile. "He asked me out to dinner tomorrow night too."

My father gave me an 'oh really?' look. I nodded. "I'm eighteen, so I can go," I stated quickly.

Patrick backed away with his hands up and left my father to deal with my statement. "True, but I wasn't going to forbid you. I trust you honey. I know you'll make good choices," he said skeptically. "When's this dinner?"

"Tomorrow night."

"Where is he taking you?"

"It's a surprise," I said, mimicking Brady's words. "Probably Forks diner or something. Just for some food and milkshakes."

"Uh huh," he hummed. "You're sure?"

"Yes dad, why?"

"Nothing," he said, shaking his head. I watched him set down a few wrapped packages and pinch the bridge of his nose. "I need an aspirin."

Patrick came in to save me, snapping a birthday hat on my head with a flourish as my dad muttered something about 'not ready for this'. "Time to celebrate. I figured we could suck the helium out of that balloon after dinner while we watch Sixteen Candles. How's that for a date?"

"Sounds good," I grinned. "But first, are those my presents?"

I curled the ends of my hoodie around my hands and shuffled down the back steps to the kitchen the next morning. The three of us had stuffed ourselves with pizza and ice cream cake before vegging out with italian sodas and Cooler Ranch Doritos on the couch while watching Sixteen Candles. Patrick had been able to quote the entire movie with me while my dad just rolled his eyes and said he didn't know us. I woke to the scent of sunflowers by my bed and knew that I had celebrated my birthday in style.

But it wasn't over yet, I told myself. My first official date with Brady was tonight, and he was taking me somewhere special. Or at least that's what he claimed when I sent him text messages begging for answers. He wouldn't give them but instead claimed it would a birthday I wouldn't soon forget.

I shuffled over to the cabinets to make myself an extra-large bowl of Fruit Loops. Sloshing some milk over the top, I headed to the window seat to watch Brady as he began his work for the day. To my delight, Patrick had asked him to construct a concrete walkway all the way around the garage and up to the house. That would take him at least a week to complete and would give me a full seven or eight more days to drool at him as he did work around my house.

I took a bite of my cereal and chewed, surprised to see my father standing outside talking to Brady. They were close, their voices quiet and both of their faces serious. I slowed my chewing and tried to hear what they were saying, but they weren't speaking loud enough to even pick up a trace. Brady nodded solemnly several times, holding up his hands in an innocent gesture. I took another bite of cereal and continued my shameless eavesdropping.

By the time my father finally turned around and came back inside, I was chomping at the bit to know what they were talking about.

"What were you saying to him?" I asked, rinsing out my bowl in the sink. My father inhaled and pinched the bridge of his nose again.

"Just... setting some ground rules. Limitations, understandings. Things of that nature," he said quietly. I turned around to lean against the counter, my sweatshirt pulled around my body.

"Like what?"

"Just the fact that he's not taking you to Seattle on a Saturday night when you've just turned eighteen. And that you definitely cannot stay the night in a hotel with him."

My jaw fell open. "Wait... what?"

He shook his head and reached over to ruffle my messy ponytail. "Nothing, honey. He just had some plans that I didn't quite... like. I think he was trying to be nice but he's still a boy. Er," he paused, glancing out the window. "A man."

I sighed in defeat at my father's tone, knowing full well he wasn't messing around. While my heart continued to thump in my chest at the idea of spending a weekend in Seattle (a city I'd never been to) with Brady for my birthday, I was a little miffed that I wasn't allowed to go. I was eighteen, wasn't I?

I glanced out the kitchen window as Brady worked, watching as his muscles strained against his tight white t-shirt with the sleeves torn off. The weather was getting chillier, but the days were still sunny and warm enough to warrant his outfit. However, I knew that his wolf side kept him a lot warmer than normal people were. I hid a smile and slid my phone out of my hoodie's pocket to type him a message.

So what did you say to my dad to get him all hot and bothered?

I looked and the window and waited as Brady picked his phone out of his back pocket and instantly read my message. He quickly typed out a response, his long fingers flying over the screen.

He didn't approve of my birthday plans, birthday girl. Sorry.

We can still do something though... right?

Of course, he typed. It won't be as cool as what I had planned.

I smirked. He said you had a trip to Seattle and a hotel room planned.

Separate rooms, calm your shit. I wouldn't just get one room and be a creep like that.

Yes. You would.

Ok I would but I am trying here, okay? He just didn't like the idea of his little girl running off to the big city with her wolf charming.

Wolf charming? Gag me.

Hey now, I'm trying to be cute.

Whatever. I'm a big girl now whether he wants to admit it or not.

Yeah, but we're still not going. He just came out here and gave me 'the talk'.

The talk? Don't you already know where babies come from?

Not that talk. Dork. He told me that you're his baby and that I'm too old for you and blah blah blah. He just wants to scare me and make me too intimidated to date you.

Did it work?

Almost ; )

I laughed out loud and shook my head. Brady heard me, his head cocked towards the house.

Just be good today so that your daddy will let you out to play. I still want to take the birthday girl out.

But not to Seattle?

Not to Seattle, no. Sorry. And nowhere near as cool.

It's alright. We can go to the diner in town, I really don't care.

Nah, we'll do a little nicer than that. No worries, I have a backup plan. You just be ready at 7 when I pick you up, yah?

Yah. See u then. Or maybe before ; ). I look out my windows a lot when you're out there working...

I tucked my phone into my pocket and felt my face heat up. I was flirting with him and I knew it. Shit, what did that mean? I knew what it meant. It meant that I liked him more than a friend, and I was attracted to him and all that nonsense but... it didn't feel weird. It felt right.

I tugged at the hem of my black denim skirt, trying my best to not fidget. I was wearing the new cardigan Patrick had gotten me from a boutique in Seattle and the new black Toms and leopard print tights from my dad. They had completed my look with a studded black leather clutch that I now squeezed nervously in my hands as Brady parked the truck. I ran my hand through my blonde, straight hair, hoping it didn't frizz too much in the humid night air. I really wanted to look perfect for our first date.

"Stop it, you look great," he snapped. I was almost alarmed at his tone until I noticed he was actually grinning at me as he killed the truck's engine. He'd taken the time to clean and wash his big, obnoxious truck, and I was halfway impressed that he'd made such an effort. Brady had picked me up at seven sharp, dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a black button down shirt that made him look more like a bulky Calvin Klein model than a construction worker. I had smiled at him from the entryway, waving happily from the bottom of the steps as he walked into the house. I saw my dad eyeing the low cut tank top I had on under my cardigan, but he said nothing.

Try and keep me from Seattle then I'm going to wear what I want, I thought. To my horror, Brady had loudly promised them both to have me home before eleven.

"My curfew is twelve," I insisted. But he'd stuck to his guns and promised me home not at eleven but before. We'd made the hour-long drive to Port Angeles while I wondered why in the hell he'd done that.

"I'm surprised you take me so far away, what with me needing to be home at eleven," I chided him as I climbed out of the truck. Brady shook his head at me and walked closer, but was careful not to touch. My heart twisted in my chest a little as he noticeably avoided holding my hand by stuffing his hands in his pockets as we walked up to the little Italian restaurant.

Was he possibly as confused as I was about all of this? The changing feelings, the uncertainty, the newness of it all? I'd fought and fought to keep the 'friends' boundary for so long that now I wasn't sure if I could make the change from friends to something else. What if he'd gotten to know me these past few weeks and decided he didn't want to be more than that? What if he wanted to remain just friends and nothing else?

I felt like a fool for throwing such a fit about the 'friends' issue, after all it had been my idea all along. Now that he finally believed me, I decided I wanted more. I deserved my own misery and I knew it.

We walked up to the quaint little Italian restaurant, and I watched Brady roll his eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just... I wanted to take you someplace nice, not someplace I've been a million times."

"I've never been here," I said in a quiet voice, scanning the quaint scenery. The building sat next to the water, the lights of the nearby dock twinkling against the gently moving water. The smell of roasting garlic and pasta seeped from the open door as the host held it open for us. We walked inside and Brady grumbled to himself as he shook his head. We were seated at a cozy booth next to the windows that overlooked the water.

He frowned and let his eyes roam over the menu with a dark gaze. I could tell he was agitated about not being able to go to Seattle, but how was that my fault? If he was irritated at anyone, he needed to be irritated with my father for not letting me go.

"Would you stop?"

"Stop what?"

"Grumbling and growling like Oscar the Grouch. You're sitting there looking like you might swipe the face off the next person who comes to the table."

"I might," he growled. He shook his head and winced. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I just meant that I wanted tonight to be special. It's our first... like, official date or outing or whatever, and I wanted to like... really impress you. This place just isn't..."

"Brady, it's a nice place. I've never been here and the food smells amazing. Why can't you just get over it? You're ruining my first date."

I knew I'd gotten him when he looked up at me with a puppy face that could have melted ice. "What?"

"I said... you're ruining my first date. Now shape up and be happy. This is supposed to be fun, ya know?"

He nodded slowly, shrugging. "I'm sorry. God, I'm such an—"

"Asshole?" I finished for him. He held my gaze until we both burst out laughing. I shook my head and took a sip of my water. "Brady, relax. Just... this place is great. Does it really matter anyway?"

"Well yeah, kinda... I mean, I just wanted your first date with me to be awesome. I had planned for us to eat at the Space Needle and go to the coffee bar, then maybe down to this park by the water, then our hotel had rock climbing and all this awesome stuff—"

"Just... rain date, ok?" I said. That stuff all sounded amazingly fun and totally up my alley, but honestly I just wanted to spend time with him – not his credit card. What he had in his head for our first date just sounded like he wanted to show off. While I normally would have indulged him, I honestly did want to get to know him on more than just a 'friendly' basis. The setting we had tonight seemed like a perfect chance for me to do just that.

"Fine," he agreed. "You're sure you don't mind?"

"No," I said softly, "I don't mind as long as you're here and you decide to be nice to me."

He met my gaze over the menu I held in my hands and nodded. "Deal."


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need a saving grace  
> A hiding place  
> I don't have forever or time to waste  
> So don't let me be lonely  
> Well there's nothing to hide and nothing to prove  
> Give me all that you are  
> You've got nothing to lose  
> Just don't let me be lonely
> 
> Don't Let Me Be Lonely - The Band Perry

Chapter 20

Lexi

Brady kept his word after my outburst – he was nice to me.

Very nice.

This was my first, honest to goodness date. The first time I'd sat across from a boy wearing a button up shirt, I wasn't with a group of friends, and my mom and dad weren't secretly sitting on the other side of the restaurant 'just in case'. Brady even looked fidgety sitting across the table from me, his dark eyes going between nervous and smoldering.

No, this was a real date. He didn't get upset when I hadn't decided what I wanted when the waiter came, and he even gave me a sultry smile when he offered some of his food from his plate for me to sample. Off of his fork. It was strange really – I'd had his tongue in my mouth, but the idea of sharing a fork was ten times as intimate to me. What did that mean?

He sipped his water and frowned. "Are you alright?"

I looked up in surprise and nodded. "Yeah, why?"

"You're quiet."

Damn it, he'd caught me. "I um... I just don't know what to talk about I guess. I don't want to sound... weird. Is that dumb?"

He gave me a weird look. "You've never worried about talking to me before. Most of the time you can't shut up."

We both cracked a smile at that.

"I guess you're right," I smirked, taking a sip of my water. It cooled my throat and nerves, instantly making me settle down a bit. This was after all, just Brady. I glanced up at him as he gave me a slightly nervous, reassuring smile from the other side of the booth. He had the uncanny ability to make me feel both nervous and like I was with an old friend all at the same time. He calmed me but also excited me. The confusing dichotomy was always a part of my pull to him.

"I'm glad you asked me out," I blurted out. Shit.

His dark eyebrows shot up. "You are? I thought you still wanted to punch me for sending you flowers."

I laughed at his confession. "I still kinda do. I always kinda want to punch you Brady. But... sometimes less than others."

"Like right now? Do you want to punch me right now?"

I shook my head and twisted my napkin in my lap. "No."

He leaned back against the back of the booth and grinned. "Well good."

"This is a nice date," I admitted, looking around the restaurant. "What made you not like this place? You take a lot of other girls here?"

His smile faded a little. "Maybe."

"Ah," I hummed, my stomach clenching a little. The idea of Brady coming here with another girl made me strangely... jealous.

"We don't have to talk about this," he groaned, sipping his water. "In a small town we're limited on places to go. You realize that, right?"

"Of course. I'm just giving you shit," I laughed.

His shoulders shook with a quiet laugh as he looked up at me again, twisting his straw in the ice that remained in his glass. "So you don't feel weird being here with such an old man?"

"No," I shrugged. "I mean... I'm a little mature for my age and you're a little immature for your age, so I think we even out. We're only eight years apart. My mom and dad were almost ten."

"My parents are six years apart. My dad said he got some dirty looks when he dated her."

"How old were they? Um, when they started dating."

"Eighteen, almost nineteen and twenty four. But it wasn't from a lack of trying – my mom said dad had a crush on her ever since she was sixteen, but her father wouldn't let her out of the house."

I giggled. "Sounds about right."

"Yeah, well... he knew he wanted to marry her when he met her. She used to work at a grocery store up in Makah, and he would go in there all the time when he was working up there. He used to do construction, just like me. But only in the summers though. He would come back every summer to do work in her town and see her grow up. He had to leave in the fall to go back to college, but every summer he would go back to Makah and check up on her."

I watched as he affectionately spoke of his mother, his brown eyes focusing on the table as he talked. He had a special place for her – he was clearly a mama's boy, but I didn't' mind at all. It was one of the rare times I'd seen him talk so openly about his own life instead of badgering me for answers about my own.

"Finally, the summer she was about to turn nineteen... she told her dad she could do what she wanted. One day my dad came into the store and asked her out and she finally said yes. Or she said 'screw it', I'm not sure. He had just graduated with an architect's degree, and they got married the next summer."

"That's sweet," I sighed.

Brady shot me a dark look. "It used to be, sure."

"What do you mean?"

He straightened up, clamping his lips together. "I don't—"

I heaved a sigh and gave him an exasperated look. "So it's alright to talk about my screwed up family life but not yours? I've told you about my parents' divorce, my dad cheating on my mom with another guy, and then what it's like to have two dads and the whole town talking about it. Did I mention that all four of my grandparents disowned him for what he did? Well then... yeah, they did."

Brady's eyebrows rose again, but he remained quiet for a moment before finally speaking. "My dad... doesn't' know about what I do, for starters. And never will," he sighed. "I think he thinks all the legends are just stories. I mean... it's a gene, right?"

"Is it?" I asked, leaning forward. As irritated as I was that he was avoiding speaking about his family, my curiosity was instantly piqued as he began speaking of his shape shifting magic.

He nodded. "Well... There are a lot of theories, but I think everyone has it. There are a lot of stories about it or whatever, but I know he had the gene. He never shifted though, but I know he does. He's like me – fiery, hot-tempered, built. He just never changed I guess."

I frowned. "So if he's so much like you... why didn't he ever turn into..." I trailed off, not wanting to say what I was thinking out loud in a public place.

Brady gave me another look of trepidation, twisting his hands in his lap. The waiter walked up soon after, delivering our food and leaving us alone again. I ignored the tempting smells of my pasta dish and watched Brady unfold his napkin and place it on his lap.

"We'll get to that later."

The finality in his tone made me close my mouth and lean back in my chair. He looked up and noticed my change in demeanor, his eyes softening. "I... I'm sorry. I just don't want to worry you with all the details right now. This is our first date, and we're supposed to be having fun... not talking about my fucked up heritage."

Brady didn't seem like he wanted to talk about our current topic anymore, but I couldn't help but still wonder about so many things. How did he know he was a wolf? Could he really stop it, and retire? What was it like to not age? I realized that if he kept phasing he could actually live forever. The idea both intrigued and haunted me. What would it be like to have that looming over you? I had so many questions that he frustratingly didn't seem to want to answer.

I picked up my fork and frowned. "I don't think its 'fucked up', as you said," I said quietly. "I think it's interesting. It's magic. How can that not be exciting to you? There are billions of people on this earth, and you're one of the few that get to be different and special. I mean... I guess I don't get why you think that's not interesting to talk about. I'm just curious," I huffed, shaking my head at him.

He sighed and put his fork down. "Tell you what... some other night I'll go into great detail about everything you want to know. Every ugly detail," he added with a strange look. "Only because if we're going to do this... then... I want to be honest with you. I want you to know everything."

"Do what?"

He frowned slightly before giving me a confused smile. "Um... well... er, this. You and me."

My cheeks warmed slightly as I twirled my fork in my pasta. "You and me, huh?"

He nodded. "So... but you're not worried about our ages? I mean... the more time goes by, the less weird it will be."

I snorted. "You're pretty confident this is all going to work out between us. I've never even been on a date before, Brady."

I was greeted with a cocky smile. "I have a feeling it will work out."

I gave him a skeptical look as I chewed, the buttery Alfredo sauce melting on my tongue. "Seriously? With how much we fight? We're lucky if we go a day without one of us threatening to tear the other's head off in a fit of rage. Which you wouldn't do, right?"

His grin faded. "You know I could never hurt you, right?"

I nodded. Somehow I did. "I guess I do. Just... warn me if you get to that point. I've heard nothing good about werewolf temper tantrums."

He smiled but then looked away, his gaze suddenly serious again. "You're very right about that. But... no matter how angry I get or how stupid I'm being, I would never accidently... change," he said quietly, "and hurt you. I couldn't do that, and I'm very practiced with it. It could happen to a newer wolf but not me."

I nodded. "So watch the newbies, eh?"

He shook his head and speared a piece of pasta on his plate. "I wouldn't let any of them near you anyway. I... I know I give you a hard time and joke a lot, but... um... you're very precious to me," he stated awkwardly, staring down at the table. His dark eyes flashed up to mine before his face reddened, and he looked away again. "I wouldn't ever take the chance of one of them having an accident and doing that."

I felt my stomach twist at his words, my hands shaking a little. He'd never said anything so sweet and kind to me before. "You mean that?"

He nodded still looking down at his food. "Yeah. I mean... you're my imprint. If one of them hurt you, it's my right to beat the life out of them," he muttered. He sighed and leaned back against the booth. "Great first date conversation, by the way."

"Yeah," I breathed, shaking my head. "But... back to this whole... thing. How are you so sure this will work out? How do you know I don't want to date other people?"

A look of fleeting panic crossed his face. "Well... do you?"

"I don't know," I answered honestly.

And I didn't. As much as I liked Brady and felt an insane attraction to him, I didn't know if that was normal or... or what he was talking about - imprint magic. He'd referenced the pull we felt to each other several times; while I did feel it, I had nothing to reference or compare it to. I'd had crushed back in California and had certainly liked boys before, however, none of them had ever reciprocated my feelings. How did I know what I felt when I was with Brady wasn't just a normal thing to feel?

"What are you thinking?" he asked quietly.

I finished chewing and swallowed, shrugging. "I just... this is all new to me. I've never dated before, and I don't... I mean nothing against you... I just don't know how to feel, I guess. I feel the... the pull or whatever, but I have nothing to compare it to."

He smirked and took another bite of pasta. "You wanna go out on a date with another guy? Be my guest Lex, I mean... I won't hold you back. You're eighteen, so..."

I could tell he was bluffing before I even looked up. I crossed my arms and gave him a skeptical glare. "If I went on a date with another guy, you'd follow us the entire time and probably wait until he left my doorstep before cornering him with your werewolf posse. You'd scare the pants off of him and make him swear up and down to never so much as breathe in my direction again unless he wants to go through life sterile. Did I guess that one correctly?"

Brady gave me a smoldering smile, cocking his head to the side as he flashed his white teeth at me. "You know me so well, baby," he cooed.

I snorted and couldn't hide my giggle. "It's okay. I don't have any other dates planned for the moment, so you're in the clear. No need to wrangle up an intimidation posse just yet."

"Good, we're super booked this week anyhow. I hear some guy has been asking Claire to go Homecoming with her."

"He has. He's in our lab, a very strapping young fellow."

"Oh?"

I nodded. Some football player had been after Claire for weeks, asking to be her lab partner, trying to walk her to her locker after classes. The tall, gangly blonde kid didn't stand a chance against Quil though; not that it mattered. Claire was too completely wrapped up in Quil to even notice she was being flirted with. She brushed him off every chance she got, ignoring his advances and flirtatious looks.

"Yeah, but... I think she's got a thing for brunettes. Tan brunettes. Big. Muscles... older... you know," I laughed.

Brady rolled his eyes. "Boy, do I ever."

I shook my head. "Quil's got nothing to worry about. I know she really likes him. I'm not even sure if she realizes he was after her until he asked her to homecoming."

"What's she gonna do for a date?" Brady asked.

"Um... we're just gonna go stag. Like Prom," I admitted. I looked up to notice Brady's somber gaze as he watched me across the table.

He nodded. "You know... I know you're eighteen and it's fine for us to date or whatever, but I'd get kicked out of a high school homecoming faster than anything, you know that right?"

"Yes," I answered honestly, looking down at my plate. He was quiet for a moment. It wasn't like I hadn't thought about it and even considered asking Brady to go to the dance with me. While it was stupid, and cheesy, and totally high school... I couldn't name a single person I'd rather share the experience with. I couldn't deny that it hurt a little that he could never go to things like that with me.

"I'd take you if I could. I mean... Seth and Quil face the same dilemma. They want to go, just like I do. I saw their thoughts at your prom last spring and..."

I shrugged. "It's okay. I mean... going stag is fine. I can hang out with Regan and Claire. Like you said, they're... they're in the same boat, so it's all good. We dance together, and when they play a slow song, we just like... grab some punch or take silly pictures."

Brady shifted in the booth and looked down at his food. He twisted his napkin in his lap and finally looked up at me. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

He paused. "If you... if we decide to do this then... I mean there are a lot of drawbacks to it. I don't want to lie to you, Lexi. Dating someone like me... being with someone like me is never easy, but I know from what my brothers have experienced that it's... if you give it a chance, it's worth it. But... I wouldn't blame you one bit if you ran for the hills."

I watched his face turn sad, his normally cocky features sinking. It was true what he was saying; there were drawbacks. But there were also perks.

"I guess, I see what you're saying. Is that why… is that why when I refused to date you at the end of summer you just..."

"Left it alone for a few weeks? Yeah. I wanted to give you time to decide on your own without me hounding you... which I was definitely doing. I wanted it to be your choice to pursue this, Lex. Because there are a lot of things I won't be able to give you because of what I am."

I nodded, stabbing another glob of pasta. Instead of eating it, I twirled it around my plate as I contemplated his words. Sure he was a moody, unpredictable shape shifter, but didn't he also see the appeal?

"I suppose... but there are a lot of good things to dating you, Brady. I mean, if we decide to do this, there are a lot of good things from what you've said about this whole 'soul mates' deal. Besides," I laughed, "how many other girls can say that they ride their boyfriend?"

There was a pregnant pause between us as his brown eyes went wide. I cocked my head and looked at him. "What?"

As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I realized they had a double meaning. I burst out laughing at the same time he did, my cheeks flaring pink. "Oh my Lord..."

Brady chuckled loudly, earning us a few stares from the people around us as I slumped down in the booth and tried to hide my face. I was an idiot sometimes.

"I can't believe I said that. What... I mean to say that their boyfriends could give them rides... Oh my... I'm just going to stop talking now," I muttered.

Brady shook his head, his laughter still ringing in the small area. "Oh my God, Lex, that's why I love you. You're so you sometimes that it's hysterical. Shit, I haven't laughed like this in years," he snorted, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye.

I pretended to ignore his words as I took another frustrated bite of pasta. Wait, did he just say he loved me? I scanned through his words in my mind, my memory confirming it. He had just definitely said he loved me. Looking up as I chewed, I surmised he didn't realize what he'd said. He just took another bite of his food as his giggles subsided.

"I'm gonna... excuse me," I mumbled. "Where's the bathroom?"

He snickered and pointed to the back of the restaurant. Imaginary tail between my legs, I scurried off to the restroom to get away and recover for a second. I pushed through the door, sighing as the cool air of the empty bathroom hit my face. I used the restroom and washed my hands, staring at my red face in the mirror. Splashing a little cold water on my cheeks helped slightly, but I could still see them burning in the long pane of mirrors over the sinks. The door opened behind me, a girl a little older than me walking in. She watched me in the mirror as she walked over to the sink beside mine. I caught her gaze in the reflection and offered her a little smile. She washed her hands as I shakily reached into my purse and reapplied my Cherry Chapstick in the mirror. I turned to leave when she spoke.

"Are you here with that guy from La Push?" she asked suddenly. I stopped, meeting her gaze in the reflection for a second time. She was a little older than me, but not by a lot. Her dark brown hair was shiny in the bathroom light, her low cut top showcasing a chest I was instantly envious of. Her blue eyes watched me as I tossed the paper towel in my hands into the trash.

"What?"

"That guy you're here with. The one that was laughing. Is he your date?"

I felt my stomach sink a little as I took in her suddenly unfriendly gaze. "Um... yeah. We're here on a date," I stammered, chewing my lower lip. The skin pinched between my teeth as she stared at me. "Why?"

She gave me a smirk in the mirror. "Let's just say I've known Brady for a while now. Trust me," she said, shaking her head, "he's not worth whatever lies he's telling you."

I frowned. "I'm sorry... what?"

She turned around and leaned against the sink, crossing her arms over her chest. "I've been with him before. Trust me. He's saying the same things to you that he's said to a million other girls."

"How do you—"

"I just know. He's got a silver tongue, and you'll believe anything he says. I did."

"What?"

She gave me a coy smile. "He toyed with me for three months last year before I finally wised up. Asshole couldn't even remember my name after I let him into my pants."

Her stark words internally crushed me. Brady had slept with this girl that was standing five feet from me. He'd been intimate with this... supermodel looking girl, and he hadn't even remembered her name. I was flabbergasted.

"I'm only saying this to you because you seem young. Not like all the other girls he goes after. I know if he did to me what he's about to do to you, and I was your age, I'd want someone to tell me. But he's a dog – he'll take you out, wine and dine you, and once you give it up a few times... he's outta there. Just beware is all," she said, shaking her head.

I didn't know what to say. I opened my mouth to speak, but only a tiny squeak came out. She gave me a thin-lipped smile before clicking past me in her high heels and out the door. I gaped at my own reflection before walking back out to the table. Brady sat in front of an empty plate, twisting his napkin in his hands. I slid back into the booth and offered him a crooked smile.

"Was your food good?" I asked.

He ignored me. "Well, that was awkward."

I looked up at him before taking a sip of my water. "What was?"

Brady cocked his head to the side and gave me a skeptical look. "Supernatural hearing doesn't just work in the woods, Lexi. It works in restaurants too. I see you met Kelly."

I choked on the water as it lodged itself temporarily in my windpipe. "Oh... erm..."

"It's alright," he shrugged, glancing away. "She wasn't lying. I was a total dog to her."

"Does she know that you... I mean what you... are?"

He snorted. "No. Course not. But... like I said, she wasn't lying. I did exactly what she said I did, and then I dumped her."

I winced. "That's... honest."

A humiliated grimace flashed across his face. "I promised myself I would never lie to you about my past, alright? I meant it," he said quietly. "She was the last... person before you."

I nodded and tried to look anywhere but at Brady. An awkward air had settled over the booth, I wasn't sure how to get out of. I bit back every comment that graced my tongue as I tried to think of something to say. I wasn't mad that he had been with other girls before me – he was older, so I knew he was experienced, and he'd been very upfront about his man-whorish ways. But I couldn't deny the way I felt at the thought of him being with another girl like that. I realized guys were very much different about sex and love than girls were, but it still felt odd.

"Last?" I asked suddenly. "Have you... I mean I thought..."

"What?"

"How many girls have you dated since you met me?"

Brady gave me a blank look. "You're serious?"

I nodded.

"Um, none."

I shifted in my seat. "You mean you haven't..."

"No," he said quickly. "I... I can't. I can't even imagine trying to be with another girl now that you... since I found you. I can't and I don't want to."

"But what if I said no? What if tomorrow I decided I didn't want anything to do with you?"

His face paled slightly. "Is that what you want?"

"No, hypothetically. I don't mean to taunt you, but I'm just... for curiosity's sake."

He looked a little relieved. "Well... I mean I would be upset. I don't know. It's never good when an imprint doesn't want anything to do with her imprinter."

"Would you be able to date other girls?"

My question hung in the air for several minutes, the silence looming between us a he turned to stare out the window at the water. All around us people got on with their evening; talking, laughing, clanking their forks against their dishes. But we seemed to be in our own little world.

"No," he finally said, his voice quiet but firm. "I don't think I could. I wouldn't want to."

He was quiet after that. We both were, actually. The hour long drive back to Forks was spent with both of us in a quiet daze as we took in the events of our first date. He pulled into my driveway and killed the engine, staring forward with his jaw clenching and unclenching. I chewed my lip and sighed as a light rain began to fall again. The light pitter patters against the windshield were the only sound besides my heart slamming in my chest.

For once in my life, I didn't know what to say. It was clear he was both upset and humiliated by what had happened and the questions I'd asked, but I needed to know the answers. I couldn't be sorry for needing the truth.

He finally broke the silence. "If I would have known... back then... that I was going to meet you now... I would have done a lot of things differently."

I gnawed at the same spot on my lip and looked over at him. "But the past is the past. What can we do?"

He shrugged. "I should have known I'd meet you someday. We used to think finding imprints was rare, but... now, it's obviously not. In one way or another, the fucked up monstrosity known as the universe brought you to me. I should have..." he trailed off, shaking his head.

"But you couldn't have known. I mean... there's a lot I don't understand about this whole process, Brady, but... how could you have known you would someday meet me? And how do you already know that I'm... this person you're so invested in?"

He looked over at me, a faint smile registering on his perfect mouth. "How could I not? Look at you, Lex. You're perfect. Now... I should probably get you inside. I just heard Patrick in the house, and he's wondering where you are."

"What time is it?"

"Not quite ten. You're early but he's worried."

"Fine. But we're not done talking about this 'perfect thing'," I muttered, opening the door. I slumped my shoulders and dragged my feet up to the front door before turning and looking at Brady who was walking closely behind me.

"What's there to talk about?" he sighed.

I couldn't contain my snort of laughter. "You say that, but... I don't get it. I'm just me. Silly, clumsy, and not one tenth of the woman I saw in the bathroom. Legs up to here, boobs out to there," I said, motioning out in front of my chest. I rolled my eyes. "I guess... I just don't get what you see in me."

He nodded. "I plan to spend a very long time showing you." He looked over at me and smiled warmly, giving me a little shrug. "I know it doesn't seem like we fit, but... we do. I'll leave the rest up to you."

I winced. As confusing as all of it was, I was still certain about one thing; that was to show how much I still liked him. But how did we go from friends to flirty, back to friends, and to a romance? I decided to be honest. "I'm not sure where to go from here, Brady."

"We'll just take it day by day and... eventually if you can forgive my past and realize I'm an ignorant asshole who means well, and... we'll just go from there, and maybe one day we can—"

I shifted on the top step and shook my head. He thought I was talking about our relationship – I was just talking about how to maneuver the dreaded, cheesy, corny, and awkward first date kiss.

"No, not about that. I like you, and I appreciate your honesty. All the man-whoring honestly makes me a little nervous and - not gonna lie - kinda gives me the heebie jeebies, so if you could get tested, that would be great," I babbled nervously. "But I was talking about like... the goodbye part."

He frowned. "Wait, what?"

I felt my cheeks heat up in the darkness again, the damp air already making my hair frizz. "I mean like... the goodnight part," I stated awkwardly, giving him a tiny shrug. "Like... the kiss?"

He balked. "You... you mean you still want to?"

"I'm not saying we have to elope, I'm saying we can have just a goodnight kiss, Jesus," I snapped, rolling my eyes.

He chuckled and stepped closer to me, shaking his head. "Lexi... oh my God, you make me laugh."

I tucked my hair behind my ears and gripped the railing of the front porch as I leaned against it. Nervous butterflies temporarily swirled in my stomach as I watched him move closer. "You're sure you want me to kiss you? I don't want you to break your hand slugging me because you just want to be friends."

I smirked and tried to push away my nervousness. As tall and muscly, and beautiful as he was, he was after all, still Brady. The guy that had slowly become one of my best friends that I loved to argue with. He made me giddy, and happy, and nervous all at the same time.

"No, I... I think I want to be more than... f-friends," I admitted.

His answering grin let me know he approved of my answer as he leaned in closer. I prepared myself for his usual kisses; urgent, passionate, and deep, usually leaving me feeling like I needed a cigarette.

Instead, I got something totally different.

I closed my eyes as his lips touched mine, the softness of them surprising me. He'd never kissed me gently enough for me to actually feel what they were like before, I realized. The kiss was feather light and innocent, his mouth barely placing any pressure against my own. He let them linger there for a few seconds, my bottom lip lightly wedged perfectly between his. He broke away far too soon, his dark eyes opening slowly as he pulled away.

"Other girls can't do what you do to me," he whispered.

I gripped the damp rail behind my back, my fingers slipping on the fresh rain. I listened to the rain as it fell with muted splashes against the damp grass.

"You don't have to worry about them. I'm... Brady, I'm yours."

And just as the girl from the restaurant said I would, I believed him.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21:

Brady

My imprint was fiery and inquisitive, and didn't take any crap from me, but she was also far more forgiving than I ever deserved.

I think she knew the scene in the restaurant had humiliated me. She had sensed my shame as soon as she returned to the table. Yet Lexi did what Lexi constantly does; she surprised me. She surprised me by being more gracious and understanding, pushing aside her nervousness enough to let me kiss her when I had taken her home.

That kiss was... interesting.

Truth be told, I held back. I held back to show her I could handle myself - I could be a gentleman, and I could be all the things she needed if she would give me a chance. Even though I had a checkered past and a horrible number on my bedpost, I was capable of starting from scratch and treating her the way she deserved. And that was slow and steady. I wasn't going to win Lexi over with smooth words, overwhelming kisses, or by hurrying to get her into bed before she could think it through. That was the old me.

The new me was a man that was completely head over heels for the little blonde, virginal bombshell that had stumbled into my life on a beach one day last spring and called me an asshole to my face. The new me was a man trying to unlearn everything he thought he knew about relationships and women and start over from scratch. I wanted to learn with her and build our relationship slowly.

Something Lexi was making a little difficult at times.

I asked her out again the next weekend. This time we went to my parents' house (after carefully making sure my father was out of town) and watched movies in their theater room. Now, I was trying to be a gentleman. I was. But Lexi barely made it to the watermelon scene in Dirty Dancing before she shyly slid from her seat onto my lap. She gave me an innocent yet 'I dare you to' type of look and my reformed ways were history. She'd even grinded herself against my lap when I got hard – was this girl trying to kill me?

I sighed. Maybe she wasn't, maybe she was. I'd dropped her off at home an hour early to keep myself from doing something I would regret and phased for night patrol with Embry. I hadn't guarded my thoughts well enough, and before I realized it, I had shown him the entire night in a nutshell.

Rough night? he asked.

You could say that.

Never thought I'd see the day man, he snickered mentally. Is she seriously as inexperienced as you claim?

Yes, I answered. But she's perfect the way she is. She's selective and...

Yeah, so what's she doing with you? he laughed, growling in a taunting manner.

I swished my tail in annoyance and narrowed my eyes. Just forget about it, okay? I don't want to discuss how innocent or not innocent Lexi is. That's between us.

Fine, fine. I'll honor that wish because it's nice to see you actually being respectful about a girl for once, he sighed, moving to stand.

We'd been camped on a high lookout over the cliffs for a few minutes, scanning the shoreline for anything out of place. When nothing seemed out of order, we stood and made our way back towards the town.

Mind if we swing by Lexi's house? I just want to make sure she's alright.

It's cool, he agreed.

I felt bad for giving Embry the shit that I did sometimes. He was actually a nice guy for the most part – moody, sometimes a little too emo for me, but we got along for the most part. He didn't do anything that annoyed me, and my asshole antics usually rolled off his back like water on a duck. We loped back towards Lexi's house on the outskirts of Forks, our quiet footfalls on the muddy forest floor the only sound. Before long we were crouching in the bushes on the back of the carriage house. A rare pleasantly cool night meant Lexi's bedroom window facing the garage was open. I perked up my ears and started to listen for her rhythmic, sleepy heartbeat when I heard something else.

A moan.

What the—

The smell hit me about two seconds later. Embry burst out laughing and rose to his haunches, his internal laughter making me confused.

What was that? I listened closer, realizing I could hear her rapidly beating heart mixed in chorus with the sound of her breathy moans.

Oh.

Oh.

OH, I thought. Holy shit.

Holy shit is right, Embry snickered. Is she doing what I think she's doing?

Shut it, I snapped, turning to glare at him over my shoulder. It was obvious what she was doing – the moans, the breathing, the heartbeat, the smell...

Sometimes I cursed my extra gifts. Times like these made them feel more like strange and exotic torture. I wouldn't allow myself any part in getting her aroused like that, but I had to listen to it? No thanks. I had enough trouble keeping my hands off her as it was.

It's gonna be even tougher now... Embry echoed in a sing song voice.

I growled again and allowed myself one last inhale. The scent was faint but undoubtedly hers. It was her normal Lexi scent, green apples and flowers, but it was also mixed with another scent that I knew well thanks to my man-whoring days. I heard another breathy moan from the window and clenched my wolfy eyes.

Shit.

I shouldn't be listening, I shouldn't be listening...

Dude, Embry tried to reason with me. Let's just go. Stop the torture. Come on, he coaxed.

This is wrong, I agreed. I gave Lexi's window one last look before darting back into the dark woods. So much for taking things slow.

Lexi gave me a perplexed look from the passenger side of the truck. We were parked at the cliffs after another date, just watching the tide roll in through the darkness. It had been almost a week since I'd heard the uh... noises, and it was all I could do to not jump her right now. I was a man obsessed. I'd caught her in a private moment, and as sheepish as I felt to have done that, I still realized that she'd been getting herself off. How hot was that? I desperately wanted to know if she was thinking about me, or if I had any effect on something like that whatsoever. But how would I ask her that?

Say uh... what do you think about when you get off? Is it possibly me?

I swallowed roughly and looked at her sideways. She gave me an indignant stare.

"What?" she finally demanded. "You've been acting weird all night. Is something the matter?"

But I couldn't ask. That would humiliate her. And that was the last thing I wanted to do right now. She was becoming so comfortable around me, so confident. She confided in me and was really starting to trust me. Did I want to jeopardize that? Not particularly.

"Nothing, no. Just... had a weird few days at work is all. But it's nice to be here with you."

She leaned back in her seat, nodding. "Oh. Oh... okay."

I turned to her and gave her my best flirty smile. "So... Leah's wedding is coming up. I'm going to need a date, so..."

Lexi smirked at me. "I actually got my own invite," she quipped.

I pretended to balk. "Who is your plus one?"

She snickered. "No one. I'm just going with Regan and Claire. It's not like either of them can really take Quil and Seth as dates, so..."

"Well," I said haughtily, "that's the nice thing about me being several years younger than those goons. I can actually get away with being with you in public without it looking weird."

She laughed silently, shaking her head as she turned to look at me. "Listen, Brady... I already told the girls I would go with them and just... hang out and have fun. Dance, drink punch and have a good time with the girls. I'll see you there... but it wouldn't be nice to back out on them and spend the whole night... um..."

"Slow dancing with me in a dark corner?" I said hopefully.

Lexi smiled. "Exactly. I made a promise to them that we would just hang out. I'll save you a dance though," she confirmed softly, giving me a flirty look.

I grinned and leaned forward against the steering wheel. I didn't actually mind that she just wanted to hang out with her girlfriends. We had gotten so close lately that I knew things would work out between us. I mean we fought over stupid stuff and bickered and whatnot, but I knew for certain now that this girl was made for me. We'd have the rest of our lives together, and I didn't want her to grow up overnight. She was still eighteen, and I made a point to realize that. Her teen years would be gone before she knew it, and I didn't want her only memories to be with me. As much as I wanted to monopolize her time completely, I did admire the fact that she still wanted to make time to just be a kid with her girlfriends. She'd made them a promise, and she was faithfully sticking to that.

"You're a good person," I blurted out into the silent cab. "I admire you for that. You stick to your guns, Lex. Don't ever change."

She looked over at me in surprise. "You mean that?"

I nodded. "It's cool. You go hang with your girls, and I'll be there when you want a dance."

I knew I'd said the right thing when she beamed over at me, her brilliant smile practically glowing in the darkness. "Thank you."

I smiled back. "You're welcome. And I have to get you home soon, so we should probably head out."

Lexi sighed heavily from the seat next to mine, shaking her head. "I really need to get this curfew thing adjusted. I'm eighteen and I still have a curfew."

"You're still in high school," I laughed, "your dads just care about you. Take that as a compliment."

She rolled her eyes and snorted. "Okay Old Man River. When did you get so wise?"

"I'm older than you, so I'm just... passing along knowledge I was too stupid to realize at your age. That's all. I'm not... I mean take it how you want it, but I think they just care a lot about you and want to know that you're home safe and sound."

She clucked her tongue at me, shaking her head. Her hair was pulled into two funky looking messy braids tonight, and several waves had escaped from the rest, framing her delicate face. She looked so young and innocent to me sometimes, I felt even better about my decision to keep my hands to myself. On the other hand, she still looked amazing, and it was difficult not to pull her into my lap again like we'd done the other night. I shifted against the seat and tried to remain calm.

"So, you think they'd freak out if they knew who I was really out with? A shape shifting wolf?"

"Yeah, most likely. Most parents wouldn't approve of their daughter dating a monster."

Lexi's giggles halted. "So... but wait, you're not a monster. You're not serious are you?"

I shook my head and stared out the windshield. "Sometimes I feel like one."

She leaned over, covering my hand with her tiny one. "You're not a monster," she stated firmly.

I looked over at her. "But you've only seen me as me. I'm calm when I'm around you, wolf form or not. I'm myself. But when... when I have to do what I was made to do, I lose that part of myself. I become an animal that only wants to track its prey and kill it. I lose touch with reality and sometimes that's scary. It's easy to feel like a monster then, ya know?"

She looked over at me, her face a mixture of questions and seriousness. "Will you tell me what you hunt? Why you do this?"

I looked down at the steering wheel and swallowed. "Sometime, yes. But not tonight. I want to be a normal... guy with you for a while," I admitted, reaching across the space between us. I wound her hand with mine, warmth sneaking up my spine at her touch that was impossible to ignore. She sighed beside me and nodded.

"If not tonight, then... some night, right?"

"Some night."

"Why are you so hesitant to tell me?"

She asked the question I'd been dreading. I didn't want to keep secrets from her – it was uncomfortable to lie to your imprint (but you could do it), but I didn't want to lie to her. But she was so innocent. So sweet. How do I tell her I hunted vampires? What if that part of my life terrified her? I didn't want her dreams to be full of blood red eyes lurking in the forest. If I told her what was out there, to be afraid of, then there was no going back, and she would always know that her world really wasn't what she thought it was . She already knew some, but in my mind she knew what she needed to know and no more. I'd barely gotten her friendship and just recently her affection. Call me crazy and selfish, but I wasn't ready to give that up so fast.

So I gave her the best answer I knew how.

"Because it's something you can't unlearn."

She was silent a moment, her quick mind surely processing my words to come up with a rebuttal. But she shocked me and remained quiet.

"You tell me I don't need to be afraid of you, but do I?"

I shook my head. "It's not me you have to be afraid of. There are... other things out there that we... take care of. Monsters fighting monsters I guess," I replied bitterly.

She gave me a stern look and turned to lean her back against the door, stretching her jean-clad legs across the empty space between us. I rested my hand across her shins and took a deep breath. I didn't want to lie.

"Brady, I... have feelings for you."

I whipped my head to the side and gave her wide eyed look, my tongue suddenly wrapped in a knot.

She chewed her bottom lip for a moment, her eyes falling to her lap.

"But if I'm going to have feelings for you... then eventually I need to know everything. What you're up against. What... we're up against."

"Lexi—"

"Because," she cut me off, holding up her hand, "if I'm going to... be with you... then I need to know what happens every time you leave me to do whatever it is you do."

I shrugged. "But what if I tell you and you decide you don't want to know? I told you, it's not something you can just unlearn."

She bobbed her head and slowly licked her lips. "But If I'm going to do this...have feelings for you, that is, I want us to be honest. If we're meant to be like you say we are then I want to know you. All of you. Isn't that the best way to make this work?"

I agreed to that because Lexi was wise beyond her years and despite my frozen years of experience, she seemed to have a better head on her shoulders than most adults I'd met. I drove her home with the promise that I would tell her what I hunted – soon.

We pulled up to her driveway and I watched her eyebrows rise. "My dad and Patrick aren't home yet... weird," she muttered. Her fingers flew over the keyboard of her cell phone. "I just asked them where they were."

I put my truck in park and started to walk her to her door. She grabbed my hand and squeezed it. "Heavy night huh?"

I shrugged. "It's alright."

She gave me a wry smile as we stepped up on her porch. "Sorry to ask so many questions. This whole... supernatural thing is still new to me."

"You'll get used to it," I laughed. I turned to look at her as we stepped up to her door. She grinned up at me sheepishly as her phone made a noise.

"They're just leaving Port Angeles – their movie went long."

I raised an interested eyebrow out of habit. "Oh?"

She snorted. "My dad already said, 'No Boys are to walk through that front door young lady.'"

"No boys are to walk through the front door, huh?"

"Yup."

"Fine, fine. Well, then I guess this is goodnight. See ya," I flirted, giving her a peck on the cheek. Her jaw dropped in surprise – I knew she was expecting something along the lines of the long, languid goodnight makeouts we'd been sharing whenever we parted, but I had something else up my sleeve.

I chuckled as I heard her huff at me quietly before turning and letting herself inside. I fired up my truck and backed out of the drive, gunning it down the road. When I was safely far enough away, I threw it in park and killed the engine. Stripping down, I reached for my trusty pair of cut off sweatpants in the console of my truck and tied them to my ankle. I quickly phased, still laughing about the look on her face as I made my way back to her house. There weren't any new tire tracks on the damp driveway besides my own, so I knew I was still in the clear. I wasn't nearly ready to say goodnight just yet. I phased back to human form in the dark side yard, pulling on the sweats. It took little to no effort to take a running leap at a nearby tree, swing up into the branches, and lightly jump onto the roof beside her window. Her window was unlocked (as I expected it to be), allowing me a stealthy entrance into her bedroom. I looked around before plopping into her desk chair to wait as the water in the adjoining bathroom ran. I listened as she spit her toothpaste into the sink and rinsed, scrubbing her face with the soft fibers of her towel.

Lexi walked out of the bathroom rubbing her eyes, her hair already up in a messy ponytail and her pajamas on.

"That's what you sleep in?" I asked skeptically.

She jumped and gasped in surprise. "Oh my God! What are you doing here?"

I crossed my arms and eyed her up and down. She was wearing a ratty t-shirt and a pair of equally ratty shorts. She was cute as hell actually; I just wanted to get a rise out of her.

"We've talked about my sleep attire before," she chided me once her breathing had returned to normal. I grinned like the ass that I was and listened to her heart beating in her chest. "No normal girl sleeps in frilly lingerie. I have a hard enough time just getting my socks to match, much less my bras and panties," she sniffed. "And are you trying to get me grounded for life? Hello, my dad said no boys in the house."

"No," I interjected, holding up a finger, "he said no boys were to walk through the front door. I did not use the front door, I used the window."

"Freak," she deadpanned. "Since when are wolves like Spiderman?"

I glared at her playfully. "We have special abilities in human form too, lady. You want me to go?"

She broke her serious face to grin. "No."

She sat on her bed and gave me an expectant look. I rose from the desk chair and we shared a smirk as I sat on the bed next to her, already feeling her eyes roving over my bare chest.

"What?"

"It's not fair," she snorted, covering her face with her hands. "You look like... that and I...," she trailed off, motioning to her holey t-shirt. I chuckled and bumped my shoulder against hers.

"I got this body when I phased. Before that, I was a puny little kid that was dying to hit puberty so I wouldn't get my ass beat all the time."

She gave me a skeptical look. "Seriously?"

"Seriously. I was nothing. Besides I told you... you're beautiful."

And she was. I realized after meeting Lexi that girls actually looked better a tad on the natural side. I'd always been more attracted to the busty, teased hair, smoky eye makeup, tall in fuck me heels type of girl before. They were like a flashy car; pretty, exciting, and fast. You didn't know why you wanted it, but you knew that everyone would want to be you if you had it.

But Lexi...

I watched her give my arms and chest another embarrassed scan as she sat next to me on her bed. What little makeup she usually wore out on our dates had been scrubbed off, leaving her clean, fresh face shining. Her naturally light blonde hair was never quite perfect, but I'd decided I liked the feeling of silky strands instead of stiff hairspray. Lexi was stunning without any of that crap, and I really liked it.

More than that, I really liked her.

"What?" she asked quietly.

I shrugged. "I just... I think I love you," I blurted out.

Her eyes went a little wide. "What?"

I panicked as blood rushed to my head. I could hear the blood pounding in my ears as she stared at me, her jaw falling slightly open.

"I... I can't believe I just said that," I growled to myself, covering my face with my hands.

"What..."

"You don't have to say anything... oh God," I cringed. "I'm not like... I didn't mean to say that. I didn't mean it."

She gave me a weird look. "You didn't?"

"Yes. No. I don't... know," I stammered. FUCK! I'd never done that before; blurted out my feelings for a girl. Shit, I usually didn't even have feelings for a girl, let alone enough to let her know. I'd always been the love them and leave them type – love was for imprinted saps.

But you are an imprinted sap.

"Just... I... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to blurt that out like that. Fuck, I'm so... I've never said that to a girl, and I'm freaked out," I admitted, taking a deep breath. I chanced a sideways look at Lexi, who was a looking a little pale beside me.

"It's... alright," she finally spoke. "We can pretend it didn't happen."

I hung my head. "I finally get you to go out with me, and we get to know each other and things are going great until I opened my stupid ass mouth," I hissed, shaking my head at myself. I pushed up off her bed and began to pace in front of the window. I debated throwing myself out of it, but knowing the fall would only humiliate me further instead of killing me, was the only thing that stopped me.

Lexi sighed from her bed and looked at the carpet. "Fine then. It's... forgotten. It's cool, Brady, just..."

I stopped pacing at her pleading tone.

"Don't leave?" she asked quietly with hopeful eyes.

I stared at her, heaving a humiliated sigh. I knew it would be an immature, ass-like thing to do to leave, and for once I didn't want to do what my instinct told me to do – bail. I shuffled back across the carpet to her bed and sat down beside her. Her eyes gave me another appreciative scan.

"You ok?"

"Yes," she answered. "Are you?"

I snorted. "Yeah, but why do you keep looking at me like that?"

She glanced away quickly, shrugging a little. "Um... this is the first time I've had a guy sitting on my bed."

I guffawed loudly. "Seriously?"

She elbowed my side sharply, making me gasp. "Ow."

"Yes," she snapped. "I'm not one of your usual seasoned hussies, I don't have a revolving bedroom door," she shot back. I feigned hurt and poked her side where I knew she was ticklish.

"I know you aren't. I'm just giving you a hard time. It's what we do, Lex."

"I know," she admitted with another sheepish smile. Her pretty blue eyes flicked up to mine, locking them in an invisible vice grip that made it impossible to look away. Instead, she seemed to reel me in like a caught fish. "We fight all the time."

"I know."

"Doesn't that mean we're a bad match?"

I snorted. "No. It means we have fire. Passion. The stuff that other people – boring people – strive for."

"They strive to fight all the time?"

"No," I laughed. "They strive for a feeling like this."

I leaned forward, pressing my mouth against hers softly. The electricity that always seemed to sizzle in a palpable way was back. I always let her set the pace when things got started; I didn't want to misread her subtle signals if things suddenly got going too fast for her. I understood why she was slightly intimidated to be with me. I'd been with a lot of girls and she knew that. But none of those girls had mattered; what Lexi didn't understand was that I was as nervous as she was when we did things like this because she was the first girl that I actually gave a shit about.

She kissed me eagerly, her minty, toothpaste tasting tongue seeking out mine before I knew it. She reached up, placing a hand on my shoulder to pull me closer to her, and I realized that I truly do love the way her skin felt against mine. It was like a slow, pleasant burn that is welcoming to the touch and never wanes, I decided. Well shit, maybe I do love her, I thought.

Lexi leaned forward, breaking the kiss to push me backwards on her soft, girly, flower covered comforter. She straddled my hips and urgently pressed her tongue against mine, fighting for dominance. Perfect, I thought. But I knew this wasn't what she really wanted to do – we needed to slow it down. I laughed against her lips, breaking away to give her a coy look.

"Are you trying to seduce me?"

"Shut up," she rolled her eyes. She played like she knew what she was doing, but she really didn't. I gave her a reassuring smile that I'm sure she brushed off; she always acted tough like this, but I knew she was insecure. Sometimes, despite her stony, self-assured looks she would give me between kisses or innocent touches, I could sense her fear of the unknown. It wasn't hard to tell that her hormones were pushing her forward and towards me sometimes that it overwhelmed her.

"Here," I suggested, rolling onto my side. I pulled her to lay on the comforter so that she was facing me on her side as well, our legs still intertwined. She twisted her mouth into a little grimace she tried to hide before I pressed my lips to hers again.

It started off innocent.

I swear.

But then... she was winding her free hand in my hair and making these little sighs, and she just smelled so... I knew things were getting out of hand, but I didn't want to stop. And neither did she – I could feel it. The thought of stopping and leaving now was about as appealing as pulling off my own fingernails.

Soon her hands were pulling at my arm, and she was shifting onto her back and... I ended up on top of her. I tried to keep as much... skin off of her as I could, but that wasn't easy given the fact that I was wearing a torn up pair of sweatpants with nothing else on but my birthday suit. She shook slightly as we settled together in this new way, our bodies feeling new sensations with each other that they'd never felt before. I was on top of her, just like I would if we were... well, doing something besides making out.

"You okay?" I asked.

She bit her lip and nodded.

I reached over and flipped off the light beside her bed, leaving the only light in the room the white icicle lights that were strung above her desk. That seemed to calm her down, but I wanted to be sure. "Do you want me to go? Is this too much?"

She tried to ignore me and kiss me again, but I pulled my face away. "Answer me."

Lexi glared up at me. "No, it's fine... can we just..."

I chuckled at her impatience. "Can we what?"

"Well... what do you normally do with a girl when you're in this position?"

I snorted at her and shook my head. "Lexi, we are not doing that tonight. You aren't most girls, I've told you that."

She swallowed and shrugged. "Okay, fine. But we're here alone, and I just want to... experience things," she admitted sourly. I could see her cheeks redden in the dim light.

"Experience stuff, huh?" I grinned.

She nodded, flashing me a nervous look. "Okay, so I didn't want to do... everything, but... I just wanted to... maybe do more than kiss."

I was finally struck with how stupid I was. Of course she wanted more – she was an eighteen year old sexually frustrated virgin. Of course she wanted to experience things – hell, she'd clearly been practicing the art of getting off on her own and now she was eager for a partner. I understood. That didn't make me feel very in control of the situation, but I understood. An intense electricity seemed to buzz between us as I debated what to do.

Alright, I thought. She's old enough to fool around a bit. I won't do much, just... just leave her pants on, Brady. Whatever you do, leave her pants on. Everything stays safe when pants stay on.

I placed my lips on hers again, but this time only gave her a short, teasing kiss. She whimpered slightly as I lowered more weight down on top of her before breaking away from her mouth and trailing a few light kisses down her cheek and to her jaw. I lingered there for a moment before sliding my lips down to feather a few more kisses on her neck, just in front of her ear. I lingered there for a moment, lightly sucking and licking the sensitive skin as I silently panicked. What if she doesn't like this? Does it feel good? Normally girls are moaning by now.

Stop, the voice of reason interjected. Lexi isn't most girls. Stop comparing the two.

I slid my mouth down further, brushing my top two teeth lightly against her collarbone. I was starting to really worry she wasn't enjoying this until I heard a light, breathy moan escape her mouth. I knew that sound. That was an aroused sound. As soon as the thought entered my mind, the smell that was proof of how she was feeling hit my nostrils. It was stronger now that I was close, yet still muted by her clothing. I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up as I tried to focus and act like nothing was happening. I didn't want her to know I could smell it when she was turned on – talk about weird. That would just freak a teenaged girl out. Instead, I slid my hand up over her t-shirt and over the soft planes of her stomach. She inhaled softly and tilted her head back.

"Is this okay?"

She nodded quickly, bobbing her head. I had to laugh as she inched herself down on the mattress in an attempt to make my hand go higher on her chest. When I finally cupped one of her small breasts, I was rewarded with another soft moan of approval. Even for me, it was intense. I couldn't imagine how she felt right now, but I hoped it was the same way I did.

Her voice was so soft when she finally spoke that I almost missed it.

"More."

I smiled into the dim light and moved my mouth back up to hers. She greeted me warmly, kissing me with her lips turned upwards into a smile. Slowly, I slid my hand that was on her chest back down to the hem of her t-shirt, rising slightly to trace a pattern across her soft skin as it moved upwards. I'd tried to stay calm until that point, but the minute my hand touched her bare breast, I felt myself turn harder than a rock against the inside of her thigh. I didn't know if it was that or my hand or what, but she thrust her hips forward and oh sweet Jesus, it was nice. Between her thin sleep shorts, my horniness, and threadbare sweatpants, well... the moan that left her mouth that time was not quiet.

"Oh!" she gasped, ripping her mouth away from mine.

I stared down at her, watching her face as I lightly traced her hardening nipple with the tip of my finger, at the same time experimentally dipping my hips down again. I could feel myself rubbing against her, the impossible hardness rubbing against the front of her shorts. Her mouth fell open slightly, another faint smile appearing as her eyes closed completely. She seemed to be enjoying this immensely so who was I to stop?

Lexi seemed to have the same idea.

I felt her shift underneath me, her body wiggling and her arms flailing as she quickly ripped off her shirt and tossed it to the floor. I pulled away and quickly averted my eyes. Holy shit, I was becoming such a pussy for this girl but damn if I didn't want her to regret a thing with me.

"Lex—"

"Just... please? I... Brady, I just feel so... we kiss and touch and that's nice sometimes, but... shit," she panted, reaching up. I felt her warm fingers against my jaw, her hands gently coaxing me to look at her. "I just feel so crazy sometimes."

"You do?"

She nodded frantically, pulling at my arms. I reluctantly settled myself back on top of her. Her blue eyes stared up at me in question. "Are you okay?"

"If you're sure, then... I'm more than okay," I promised, nodding. I kissed her frantically after that, my lips molding against hers in a passionate lock. She grabbed my hand and placed it back on her now-bare chest, the skin there forming goose bumps. I could feel her skin harden with excitement as her breaths increased.

She seemed to be enjoying it, so….

I slid my mouth down her neck and chest, not stopping until my mouth was on her. Lexi twisted against me on the bed, another excited series of pants leaving her mouth. I was about to ask if it was alright when I felt one of her hands wrap itself in my hair. She pulled it and twisted her fingers in it and rubbed her hips against me - damn if it wasn't the hottest thing I'd ever experienced. When I broke away to switch my attention to her other breast, I thought she was going to yell at me. I met her gaze with a smirk and quickly started giving the other side of her chest the same attention. Her head fell back against the comforter with a soft wail, and I knew I was doing this to her satisfaction. Feeling confident, I increased my slow hip thrusts against the apex between her thighs, and I was rewarded.

"OH! Oh... Brady..." she trailed off after that, but she'd said it. My name. And not just how she normally did. This was all breathy and hot and... fuck. I rocked against her with new enthusiasm and watched as she enjoyed it.

Her heart was pounding against her ribcage, her soft breaths increasing in pace. She wasn't moaning or carrying on like most girls I'd been with, so I was actually a little nervous she wasn't going to get off, and wasn't that the point of all this? I caught myself smiling against her small chest as I dipped my hand down to the front of her soft shorts. One touch and she gasped for breath and went rigid for a moment.

"Oh!" she gasped again. I continued circling my fingers against the front of her shorts, the heat rolling off of her nearly maddening. Within seconds, she was red faced and starting to sweat beneath me. I rolled on my side and was content to simply watch her enjoy herself for the first time at the hands of someone else. Lexi squeezed her eyes closed and parted her lips, rolling her head from side to side. Her legs shook, and she let out a choppy exhale and a surge of warmth saturated the fabric near my fingers as she came.

I rubbed her until she came down, the familiar sated look gracing her features. She inhaled a deep breath and finally opened her eyes, turning to me with an apprehensive look.

I smiled, lifting my hand up to brush some of her sweaty hair out of her eyes.

"Don't say anything. You're perfect," I murmured before pressing my lips to hers. I kissed her deeply, lightly licking my way into her mouth and cupping her cheek in my hand. She groaned into my mouth and twisted her body towards mine just as my gifted ears picked up a car turning in the driveway. I knew she didn't hear it, so I gave her one last kiss before sitting up and untangling myself. I was at the window before she could blink, crouched on the sill with a grin. Her head whipped towards the front door downstairs as she heard it slam behind her father and Patrick. She gave me a panicked look, but I shook my head at her before silently catapulting off the sill and onto the ground below.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22: Treasure

Lexi

I gazed down at my kiddy cocktail, twirling the straw in the glass as I gave the doorway to the tent of Leah's wedding reception a worried glance. Claire and Quil had just blown up at each other, and this wasn't like their last fights. I knew she'd been stewing for a while over the fact that Quil treated her a bit like a baby, but this blowup had been unlike all the others before. She looked so angry.

I didn't really get what her problem was. It was clear to me and anyone really that Quil adored her. I could almost see cartoon love hearts reflecting in his eyes when he looked at her. It didn't take a genius to tell that they would eventually work everything out; all of their problems were age related. Claire would grow up and Quil...wouldn't. Brady had explained this process to me several times, and each time I was a little more captivated by how imprint magic worked. My sassy friend needed to cool her jets; she would eventually have her hunky wolf.

I looked around the dwindling party, scanning the room for Regan. She had gone outside with Seth after the big fight between Quil and Claire, and I hadn't seen her since. My mouth twitched as I thought about how perfect they looked together, even though he was so much older. I actually smiled full on when I realized he too was frozen in age, just like Brady was, although Regan didn't know it yet. I hoped Seth found a way to tell her his wolf secret – and soon. They were obviously crazy about each other. Part of me felt a bit smug to already have a grasp on the whole frozen from aging thing while my friends sometimes still struggled with it.

Speaking of crazy, I thought with a smirk, glancing up at the bar. Brady was sitting up at the bar, his side profile in my view as he sipped a drink and muttered something to Embry that sat beside him. His eyes were still dark and thunderous, but damn did he look sexy.

We were fighting... I guess.

He was irritated to begin with that I didn't let him be my official date to Leah's wedding – he was downright irate when his younger pack brothers had crowded around me introducing themselves. I'd brushed it off; Brady talked about me to them, I knew. I didn't see what the big deal was – his friends just wanted to talk to me, and I hadn't seen most of them since my first bonfire in La Push. I thought he was going to rip Zeke's head off when the good natured boy asked me to dance at the start of the night. The murderous glare he'd been giving anything male that had talked within ten feet of me had been enough to make my heart pound. He angered me with his possessiveness and distrust, but at the same time... like I said, he looked damn sexy.

I sighed and stirred the grenadine lingering in the bottom of my drink, glancing longingly at the people holding champagne flutes. The only alcohol I'd ever had in my entire life was at my parents' house on new year eve – dad had brought home a bottle of champagne for the occasion, and I'd gotten about two inches worth in the bottom of a flute when I was sixteen. It was delicious; cold, bubbly, and with a sweet and sour flavor that had lingered on my tongue. But, I wasn't twenty one yet, and I knew better than to push it. Instead I sat slumped at the pretty table, sipping my drink and checking Facebook on my phone. I'd taken down my relationship status – single – and left it blank a few days ago. To my secret delight, Brady had done the same thing.

We weren't confirming or denying anything to anyone.

Of course, we hadn't really discussed it in-person either. I hadn't seen much of him all week after he jumped out of my bedroom window that night. I'd pretended to be asleep when my dad checked on me, but I was still reeling from the experience Brady had just shared with me. And then there was the fact that he'd actually said he loved me – It was an accident, but still. I sighed and shook my head. We were such a mess.

I looked over at the bar, meeting his gaze from across the room. He looked away, coughing awkwardly. I knew him well enough to know that he felt bad for throwing a fit earlier when the younger boys were talking to me. I liked Brady – I really liked him. When he said he loved me, I'd almost said it back. But I still wanted to kill him for lashing out at what little attention I was getting from other guys. Their flirting had been friendly and harmless; whether Brady and I were confirmed or not, I was sure they knew I wasn't especially 'on the market'. That thought made me smile into my drink as I sipped it.

I glanced over at Brady again. A tall, handsome guy with bronze hair was standing behind him at the bar, talking to him in a hushed voice. Brady looked apprehensive, but Embry was smirking beside him as he listened to the conversation. I sighed and looked away, bored with this whole game already. I didn't want to play around with Brady – the piddly fights were one thing, but not even being able to talk to each other? It was silly.

A champagne flute brimming with the golden, shimmering liquid appeared in front of me, making me jump. I looked up as Brady placed his own glass on the table next to mine, slowly pulling out the chair beside me.

"This seat taken?" he asked quietly.

I shook my head. "Are you actually going to talk to me now, or just sit and ignore me here too?"

He gave me a look of chagrin. "I brought you some champagne... I erm... thought you might like some."

I shrugged, reaching out to touch the dainty crystal. "I did... how did you know?"

Brady glanced back towards the bar where Edward and Embry were still watching us with bemused expressions. They both looked away quickly as I turned to look over at them. "I just... you don't have to drink it."

"No," I said quickly, reaching for the glass. "I want it."

He licked his lips nervously; I could tell he didn't know where to start. I watched his long, tan fingers curl around the stem of his own glass as he chewed his lip and avoided my eyes.

"I... Um..." he started a few times, finally shaking his head. "I didn't mean to snap at you earlier. When those guys were talking to you."

I raised an eyebrow. "Well, that's a start."

"I just... I didn't like it."

I heaved an exasperated sigh. "Brady, they weren't acting like they were going to lose control. Didn't you tell me they have to be angry or agitated? We were all just laughing—"

"That's not it," he interrupted. "I wasn't worried about your safety, but I do commend you for watching their moods... they can be unpredictable little shits," he growled, shaking his head. "But it wasn't that... I was jealous."

I snorted. "Of what?'

"Them," he sighed. "They're younger and... I mean I could tell they thought you were gorgeous. I just got stupid and possessive and I'm sorry. I know you hate that."

"I do," I sighed. Picking up my glass, I held it up to him. "But bringing me champagne always helps."

He smiled, picking up his own and holding it up to clink with mine. "To assholes," he stated.

"To assholes," I added with a giggle. The bubbly drink slid down my throat easily, immediately making me smile. "This is really good."

"You like it? I figured."

"Are you sure it's alright?"

"Yeah. I'll drive you home. You rode with Claire, right?"

"Yeah, but I guess she's still fighting with Quil," I sighed. I looked over at him; it was hard to miss his hopeful gaze. "What?"

"I'm an asshole," he repeated for probably the hundredth time since I'd met him. "But will you forgive me if I dance with you?"

"Sure," I agreed, giving him a little smile. We both downed the rest of our glasses before standing and heading to the dance floor. The grand white tent that had been constructed for Leah's wedding was nothing short of a fairytale. Dripping in white fabrics and shiny crystals and vases, the entire tent seemed to be cloaked in white flowers of almost any variety. Even though it was almost the end of the night, people were still walking around, laughing, and having a good time. Vintage white chandeliers hung above the dance floor, casting a warm glow across the surface. I felt Brady's hand wrap around mine as we walked to the edge of the floor. My hand still in his, he placed my other one on his shoulder and automatically began swaying to the big band music that was playing. I balked awkwardly as I realized in shame that he had rhythm, and I definitely didn't.

He chuckled as I fumbled along. "You're clumsy," he laughed. "How did I not know that before?"

"I'm not clumsy," I snapped, "just... I don't dance really."

Brady pulled me a little closer, his masculine, fresh scent invading my senses. My head grew a little foggy as I let myself enjoy the close proximity that we hadn't had in a week. My feet struggled to keep up as I licked my lips and tried not to think too much about it – it was clear he didn't want to discuss it even though I was dying to. It had only been a week ago that he'd been in my bedroom, but I was so turned on from the mere memory that I'd gotten off to it at least a half a dozen times since then.

A slower song came on after, and instead of leaving, he shook his head and pulled me closer. I obliged, not ready to end our slow swaying.

"I'm... I'm sorry I wasn't around much this week. Work was crazy and... pack stuff," he mumbled."

I coughed. "I figured it was the whole incident in my bedroom last weekend," I sighed. "Was I wrong?"

He shifted his eyes to mine, his burning dark brown gaze making me shudder. "Not entirely," he admitted. "I... I'm trying to be respectful with you Lexi."

"I know."

He sighed. "It's just... that's very difficult to do considering we were made for each other and you just... make me insane."

"Brady, I know we need to fight less—"

"No, that's not it," he interjected. His gaze turned even fierier as we swayed to the music. "I worry about controlling myself that way when I'm with you. Last weekend was... so nice, and... I wanted to give in and just..." He trailed off, his voice a labored whisper. "But we can't, Lex."

"I'm sorry," I stammered. "I didn't mean..."

"No," he repeated. "It's nothing to be sorry for. You can't help it, you're just... perfect," he sighed. He tightened his arm around me, drawing me to his chest. "You're absolutely perfect, and I almost can't control myself around you. I want you so much, but at the same time, I'd do anything to keep you safe. It's weird," he admitted with a small chuckle. "Part of me wants to be your... bedroom companion," he laughed awkwardly, "and the other half just wants to be your protector and chaperone, and keep you pure and young forever."

I snorted. "Well... I can definitely tell you that I do not want to stay pure and young forever," I laughed. My mind betrayed me as I thought of that night again, the two of us, tangled together on my bed. The threat of my dad's coming home at any second, the way Brady smelled, the feeling of his weight settled on top of me, the satisfying feeling of him rubbing up against me—

He coughed awkwardly again, separating our bodies slightly.

"What?" I asked.

He gave me an amused look. "Your uh... your heartbeat speeds up sometimes."

I felt my face drain of some of its color. "It... it does?"

Brady nodded. "Yes. Were you thinking of something... exciting?" he asked casually, looking back up to meet my eyes. I stared at him in shock.

"Um... kinda."

He smirked. "I could hear your heartbeat from across the room earlier. Then too?"

I looked away and bit back my smile. The oddness of having a love interest that wasn't exactly human was something I was still getting used to. "Perhaps," I laughed. "So you can always hear my heart beating?"

"If you blindfolded me and put me in a room with a hundred people, I could pick out your heart," he sighed. "The sound of is strangely... comforting."

"That's weird," I giggled. He nodded.

"Agreed. But nice. Sometimes when I patrol by your house at night I... I stop and listen."

I felt myself smile. I knew Brady and the pack did patrols around the area – for what, I still didn't know. But it was weirdly sweet that he thought to keep my house protected with everything he did; it was oddly reassuring.

"So you run by my house at night and stop to listen to the sound of my heart beating, huh? Sap," I muttered.

Brady chuckled quietly as the song ended. We gave each other a matching smirk before he took his hand in mine again and led me back to the table. A mid-tempo, elegant waltz started playing, the pleasant yet challenging tones scaring most of the people from the dance floor. I flopped in my chair and let my eyes wander to the other side of the grand tent where another couple seemed more than happy to take the place of all of the other dancers. The music was pretty but strangely out of place; the night had brought big band music, modern day pop, and sappy love songs from the late nineties... but a waltz? I watched the pair gracefully float out onto the floor and take their stance, instantly falling in tempo with the music as they began to move. They looked like the epitome of elegance and class and I couldn't take my eyes off of them.

"Wow," I breathed, watching them move. The man was tall and burly, his chocolate colored curls slightly unruly and a stark contrast to his pale skin. His elegantly tailored tuxedo fitted him well, but it was no match for the outfit his partner donned. A gown of pale lavender adorned her slender frame; the muted color quietly complimenting the plum tones of Leah's wedding colors she'd chosen. Her long, pale blonde hair was curled in a way that reminded me of an old movie star; waved curls that hung down past her shoulders and bounced lightly with her graceful movements. Together, the pair was so achingly beautiful and coordinated, it made me stare unabashedly.

"They're fantastic," I breathed. The girl seemed to smile wider as her muscled date twirled her about.

"Yeah, they're somethin'," Brady sighed. "Listen... do you want to get out of here?" he asked, leaning forward.

I tore my gaze away from the swaying couple that was commandeering the dance floor and caught his eye. "What?"

"Do you want to leave with me," he stated slowly, enunciating each syllable.

I felt myself nod. "Sure... I uh... told my dads I was sleeping over at Claire's."

"I'll take you to Claire's," he said quietly, his dark gaze flicking up to mine. I could swear I saw his eyes smolder slightly as he spoke. "You want to go?"

I nodded blankly and stood. I watched him send a quick text to Quil, who was nowhere to be seen, and he nodded at Embry and the other guy that stood next to him at the bar.

"Who is that guy?" I asked once we were outside. "The one you were talking to earlier."

"Oh uh...Edward. He's Regan's... erm, well I guess cousin sorta. That's Bella's husband."

"Wow," I muttered. "He looks like a model."

Brady snorted. "And what am I?" he asked playfully, grabbing my hand. He pulled me in a little circle before crushing me against his chest. He leaned against the side of his truck, his dark brown eyes giving me a beckoning gaze. I felt my heart quicken; he smiled.

"You're... something else," I laughed, tilting my chin up. I wanted to kiss him again so badly - to feel his lips on mine, taking control and—

Brady seemed to read my mind, effectively rendering it useless as he pressed his mouth urgently against mine, cutting me off. He spun me around, pinning me against the truck as his lips molded against my mouth, kissing and nipping hungrily. I laughed against his lips, opening my mouth wider to accept his probing tongue. I met him with eagerness, already giddy for what was to come. I didn't even really know what that was, but I knew as long as I was with Brady like this, it would bound to be good. My body felt like a coil, ready to attack. Everything was tingling and burning, and I felt like he was my only hope for relief.

He pulled away with a pained grunt, his beautiful features twisted into a grimace. I stared up at him in question as he licked his lips and shook his head at me. "You're going to kill me," he sighed.

"Good," I whispered softly, biting my lip. He made a noise in the back of his throat and nodded to his truck. "Get in."

My hands shook from nervousness and excitement as I hurried to pull the door open. I scrambled across the seat just in time to sit as Brady went peeling out of the gravel parking lot of Leah's wedding reception, sending bits of dust and debris up in our wake. His truck flew down the narrow wooded lane and out onto the main road towards Forks.

"Where are we going?" I asked, still breathless from our kissing.

"Away," he muttered, glancing behind him. I felt my heart stutter in excitement as he sped down the winding roads; he wasn't speeding, but it felt like we were going a million miles an hour because my body was suddenly on fire.

He pulled off the road after a few minutes, his tires hitting the muddy path that led into the woods.

"What is this?"I asked curiously.

"Just a place we can hide our cars if we have to pull over and phase quickly," he said, cutting the engine. I looked around the little wooded area that was cloaked in darkness, my eyes straining to see if we were really alone. We appeared to be. Glancing over, I half expected him to pounce on me...

But he didn't.

Instead, he gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles went white and refused to look at me.

"Um... what's wrong?"

Brady licked his lips, shaking his head. "I... I just want to make sure you want this."

"This... This? You mean... we're going to like... do it? Like it it?" I gasped. My body thrummed with excitement and fear, and exhilaration all at one time. Did he mean we were going to actually... do it?

"No," he spat, a laugh slipping out of his mouth. "You can't... we can't, Lexi."

I frowned. I hated it when he talked to me like I was a child. "What? Why not?"

He snorted and shook his head. "Just... chill. Calm down. I mean... I want to yeah, but... isn't this your first time doing this stuff?"

I bit my lip and shrugged. I was nervous to do some of these things – taking my top off in front of him was a huge step for me, especially since I was self-conscious about my small chest and lack of a lot of womanly curves – but I was also excited to do them. I trusted Brady, oddly enough. He'd earned my affection, and I was more than ready to give it to him.

If only he'd let me.

I nodded. "Yes, but... I've read books and seen movies—"

"It's very different when it's you. Not a book or a movie, Lex. This is you. And your first time is something you don't ever get to do again. You're sure?"

I chewed my lip again in thought. He had a point, but what were we waiting for? I didn't understand his hesitation with all of this. For a man-whore he was very lacking in the 'action' department. I was a horny, physically capable teenage girl with more hormones than necessary and a hot, sculpted companion. I was ready. I think.

Suddenly, I saw his point. I wasn't quite there yet – not a hundred percent. But you had to practice before the big game... right?

"Just... well okay, we don't have to do that. We just... maybe we could do more of..." I trailed off, unsure of how to get my point across. I knew from too many after school specials and rambling sex ed teachers that there were other things we could do to each other that didn't involve real sex.

Yeah. Other things. Fun things, I thought.

Brady raised his eyebrows. "What you mean, like... fool around?"

I shifted in the seat, shivering slightly. I was chilled from being in a short dress from the wedding, but also at his words. Fool around. Brady and I were going to fool around. It sounded so dangerous and... fun.

"Maybe," I mumbled quietly, unable to look at him. I shifted on the seat again as he killed the truck's engine and slid across the seat. I could feel the heat of his leg against mine as his arm went around my bare shoulders.

"Are you cold?" he asked.

I felt myself tremble as his hot breath blew across my cheek. Turning my head to look at him, I could barely answer. "No."

I heard him snort softly. "Lexi... baby, we don't have to do anything."

My heart sank a little. Here I was, suddenly nervous. Some big talker I was. Had I secretly been hoping all along that he would call my bluff and realize I wasn't ready? I wasn't sure.

Brady watched closely as I turned my head to look at him. "I'm fine. I just..."

"It's alright," he said softly, his eyes filled with honesty. "I'm perfectly happy to slow things down. I've lived my entire life fast, Lex. I would love to do nothing more than take it slow with you because you matter to me. We can just kiss..." he trailed off, nuzzling his nose against my cheek. I inhaled his familiar musky scent and felt myself shudder as my body began to react to his simple touch. With one turn of my head, our mouths collided gently. This was another of those slow, languid kisses that made my insides melt and my heart speed up. He pulled away and licked his lips.

"I can't deny you anything you ask of me," he said softly, blinking slowly. "But please don't ask me to rush this. I just want to take it slow with you. I..." he stopped, shaking his head slightly.

I gulped. He looked like he was about to say he loved me again, but he held himself back. Instead, he gave me a timid smile and waited for me to react. His honesty and sincerity touched me deeply in that moment, and for once, I was glad that our imprint bond had a strange hold on him that I couldn't entire understand.

"Thank you," I finally managed to stutter. I wasn't ready for more just yet, but I would be soon.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 24: The Hunted

Brady

I scraped the last of the mud off the new cement, spraying it with the hose in an attempt to make it perfectly clear. I absolutely loved doing the finishing work on all of my projects – there was always something so satisfying about having every last detail in order, especially when the customer lays his eyes on the final product and having it look absolutely pristine. I'd been taught by my father to always appreciate a nice piece of finished work, and I had no problem admiring my own. Especially when it was at my imprint's house. I'd poured my heart and strength into making the garage her father had designed as perfect as I could. I guess in a way it was a bit of a monument to our beginning. I wrinkled my nose at my own thoughts – I'd become such a sap lately. I'd become the pussy that I'd always teased my pack brothers for being once they imprinted.

But who was I to argue? I liked it.

"Does that look good?" I asked Lexi, giving it one last glance.

She looked up from her place on the side door's steps, briefly letting her eyes flash to me before she went back to texting. "So good."

I frowned in mock annoyance. Today was officially my last day on the project at her house; I'd drug it out long enough in an effort to spend more time with her, but there was no avoiding the inevitable now – my work there was finished. I was annoyed enough at that fact alone.

"Care to elaborate?" I prodded. My ego needed a stroke.

She looked up and cocked her head to the side, flashing a grin. "It's beautiful."

I stood back and admired the garage slash 'carriage house' her father had designed. "Your dad does have good taste. He's talented."

"I love architecture," she sighed. "So much you can do with it."

"Oh yeah?" I asked. "Want me to teach you some stuff? That's a career you can have just about anywhere," I winked at her.

Lexi rolled her eyes. "My dad's already tried. Believe me, I suck at drawing."

"Hmm," I teased, "you suck at drawing, you can't open jars by yourself, and you're clumsy. Ladies and gentlemen, I think I have an adorkable klutz on my hands."

"Shut up," she rolled her eyes. "And don't call me adorkable. We can't all be supernatural freaks."

I snorted. "You have no idea."

She giggled at me and shook her head. "This is nice, but I like modern houses more. Smooth, sleek lines."

I observed my work as another very modern house crept into the back of my mind. The Cullen house was just that – all new, with straight, white lines and all angles. I'd never admit it, but the house was a piece of art. I'd give anything to be able to swallow my pride and have mommy vamp show me a thing or two. She'd probably had three or four lifetimes to perfect her talent of architecture, and I was secretly jealous.

"Lines are nice, but what about character?" I asked. Lexi was on her cell phone, annoyingly clacking away at the keyboard as all teenage girls seemed to know how to do.

"Who are you texting?" I demanded, my irritation showing.

Lexi looked up, quirking an eyebrow at me and my stupid, jealousy-riddled tone. She hated that tone and had no qualms about complaining when I used it. I mean, I deserved it, so I thought it was funny when she called me out on my shit. It made me love her more.

"You want to try that again?"

I smirked. "Lexi baby, what individual requires so much of your attention at the moment?" I asked in a sickly-sweet voice.

She smirked right back at me before stretching out her jean clad legs and slipping her phone into the pocket of her sweatshirt. The weather was steadily turning colder as fall set into Forks.

"Regan," she answered sweetly. "I'm worried about her."

"What happened now?"

Lexi shrugged. "She's freaking out. Seth finally talked to her and they're getting ice cream. She's panicked he's going to tell her he doesn't want to be friends anymore."

"Oh, right. The kiss. How could I forget?" I muttered, shaking my head. I tossed the hose down and took out my cell phone to snap a couple of pictures of the finished carriage house for my portfolio.

"Right. Well, ever since Leah's wedding when they kissed, things have been weird. She's really worried she scared him off."

"Trust me, she didn't," I chuckled. I'd patrolled only once with Seth since then, but his thoughts had been so obsessive with Lexi's best friend that I'd barely been able to stomach being within a two mile radius of him. He was more worried he'd scared her off by kissing her at his sister's wedding, certainly not the other way around. If I didn't sympathize with him so much for wanting a girl he kinda couldn't have yet, I would have thought the situation was quite comical.

"Well yeah, but she doesn't know that. Not every imprintee gets to know the entire scoop. Seth really needs to grow some man balls and just tell her already," Lexi groaned quietly. I laughed and shook my head at her as she casually tousled her light blonde hair and wrinkled her nose.

"Worry less about Seth's balls please," I quipped, sliding my phone back into my pocket. I walked over to sit next to her on the porch, my insides doing a flip as she scooted closer and casually laid her head on my shoulder. Patrick was in the kitchen behind us, but I knew he wasn't the one I needed to worry about witnessing her PDA. I could tell I annoyed her father to no end; it didn't take a genius to know that my manners and chivalrous acts in his presence were inspiring some eye rolling when I wasn't in the room. I couldn't help it though; I was head over heels in love with his daughter, and I would do anything to prove it – which brings me to my next point.

The past two weeks since Leah's wedding, I'd kept my word and been nothing but a gentleman to Lexi. We'd slowed down on the physical stuff and had tried to focus more on the 'hanging out without being handsy' stuff. Honestly… I enjoyed it. I knew part of Lexi's sassy demeanor the past couple days was definitely her way of showing her sexual frustration, so I didn't take it personally. I could tell that she respected me for keeping my hands off of her, but she was still a hormonal teenage girl whose emotions still got the better of her at times. But I stood by what I'd said; first times were just that – firsts. You never got a chance to repeat it. I had every opportunity to be this girl's prince charming if I put my mind to it, and I never thought I'd use those words to describe myself – ever. I wanted to prove that I wasn't a perpetual asshole with nothing on my brain but my dick.

Lexi made me want to change – hell, she was changing me. Sexual frustration aside, I was too busy enjoying myself as I actually got to know a girl before jumping into her bed.

Going slow was nice.

Fast was the old me.

I was enjoying this new phase.

Of course I was somewhat frustrated with things; I was still a man. But did I miss the binge drinking, awkward one night stands, and angry phone calls from girls I'd loved and left, screaming and ranting? No.

I did miss the calm sense of euphoria I felt after an amazing round of marathon sweaty sex, but I was willing to trade all of that for this – A rare sunny day in Forks with the sunlight streaming through the changing leaves, the smell of fall in the late afternoon air. Lexi laying her head on my shoulder and her clean, green apple scent that seemed to linger around us as we sat on her back porch together.

Who was I kidding? I wouldn't trade this for anything.

It was with some chagrin that Lexi's father, Ian invited me to stay for dinner that night after Patrick claimed we needed to 'celebrate' my project being finished. Like the imprinted pussy I now was, I happily stayed and enjoyed burgers on the back deck with the three of them while dodging Ian's fatherly glares. He wasn't a bad guy; he was overprotective and somewhat serious, but I understood that now.

Meeting the woman I hoped to spend the rest of my life with had, as I said, changed me. I pictured our lives together – the house, the kids, the dream. I even wanted a little blonde haired version of Lexi running around someday. To even think about some shape shifting wolf imprinting on my future imaginary daughter made my blood boil. So I understood his protective instincts and tried my best to respect him as much as I could.

Just because I was an asshole didn't mean I couldn't be a mannerly asshole.

"Good work on this. I really appreciate a job well done," Ian said to me as we gazed off the deck at the new garage. The smell of cooking burgers and corn on the cob wafted through the cool fall air as we waited for Patrick to finish grilling. Lexi was busy lighting the citronella candles on the table, whining to Patrick that all bugs were 'icky' and he was indulging her by agreeing.

I answered before I could think. "Oh, no problem. Pleasure to do it, sir."

Ian gave me a sideways glance that said really?

I balked and took a quick drink of my soda. Did I seriously just fucking call him sir? How much more could I make myself look like a pussy whipped kiss ass? I cringed and hoped he didn't notice my obvious humiliation.

Ian didn't miss much.

"Uh… did you just call me 'sir'?"

"Yeah," I winced, avoiding eye contact. "I…"

"Are you still dating my teenaged daughter?" he asked with a smug grin.

"Yes, s—" I stopped myself in time and grimaced.

He smirked. "Then go ahead and call me sir, Brady," he chuckled. It was the first smile he'd cracked around me in weeks. We both chuckled at my nervousness and stupidity as Patrick called us over to eat.

"Should I be worried?" Lexi asked, nudging my side with her elbow. I grabbed her plate from her hands in a chivalrous way and led her to the table.

"No. Just being my normal self."

"That's what I'm worried about," she hissed, giving me another famous Lexi-eye roll. We ate a pleasant meal on the back deck, the four of us enjoying what was most likely one of the last really nice days of the summer before fall really began. I managed not to humiliate myself again in front of her dads, so I was happy. It was a Saturday night, and I was covering half an early evening patrol shift for one of the younger guys that had a date, but I wasn't ready to say goodbye after dinner. As Patrick and Ian collected the plates and took them inside, I lingered at the bottom of the steps with Lexi.

"I have a short patrol shift, but can I come back at about ten?" I asked, batting my eyes at her in what I hoped was a sexy gaze.

Lexi wrinkled her nose. "I'll be in pajamas by then, is that alright?"

I sighed. "I want to show you something cool. You'll like it, I swear."

She smirked. "Is it in your pants?"

I pushed my laughter down as Patrick glanced out the window at us. "No, but you'll probably still like it," I winked. The Cullen vamps were out of town for a few weeks, testing Freaky Fred in a large city to chart his progress. I guess he'd done well lately with abstaining from his gruesome hunting habits, and they wanted to help him learn how to blend back into society as they had. When Lexi mentioned her love of sleek, modern houses, I knew their vampy crypt in the woods was something Lexi would want to see.

"Fine. I'll be ready," she laughed, shaking her head. "Even if it's not something in your pants."

I felt her fingers tighten in my fur as I made a beeline through the ferns. Her laughter echoed off the trees as I came up to the Cullen house shining through the trees. Seth was at home, drinking a few beers on the back deck while he commiserated with Quil and Embry about imprint problems – I had no problems hearing their monotone, pity-me-please voices as they bitched about their imprints. I stopped a ways back from the brightly lit house so Lexi could get the full effect, giving a high pitched yip to the trio on the back deck. Alerted to my presence, they stopped talking to raise their beers in greeting and kept moaning about imprint crap as Lexi shifted on my back and exhaled as her human eyes finally took in the view.

"Wow…" she sighed.

I gave a chuffing noise of agreement before phasing back to human form and catching her piggy back style before her feet could touch the ground. I grinned over my shoulder at her and she laughed.

"Show off," she muttered. I set her down on the ground and felt her eyes on me in the darkness as I pulled on my low-rise jeans. I was grateful her eyes were probably straining in the dim light; it felt weird to just have my innocent imprint ogle me the way she always did had this been daylight. After fastening my top button, I turned back to her and tried not to feel like a cocky ass as she gave me an appreciative glance. I'd gone to her house to pick her up in wolf form after my short patrol shift, and now here we were.

"It's not fair," she whined. "Why do you get to look like that? Flawless," she muttered in annoyance.

"Shut it, you're gorgeous. Would you look at the damn house instead of bitching about my genetic mutation?" I pretended to chide.

Lexi turned to the house, a happy sigh slipping from her lips. We were about a hundred yards away in the woods, but that was only so that we could get the full effect. The masterpiece of a home was shining brightly in the dark fall night, the lights bouncing off of every flat, white surface inside, giving it the appearance of glowing. The sleek lines and pale colors were a stark contrast to the dark, murky Washington forest that seemed to almost engulf it.

"You're a piece of work sometimes, you know that? I never know how to take you."

"I know. Makes two of us," she laughed, allowing me to slip my arm over her shoulders. She gazed forward through the trees, her eyes taking in the sleek lines and unique architecture of the home. "It's like it's out of a magazine. Reminds me of all those Frank Lloyd Wright houses my dad is always drooling over."

"The 'Falling Water' house? In Pennsylvania?" I asked.

She nodded. I smirked into the darkness, remembering one of the few conversations I'd had with the mommy vamp. She was, in my opinion, the least freaky of them all. When Jake mentioned her love of building, I'd approached her once years ago, unable to quell my curiosity about the house and the designer.

*** I sat at the pristine kitchen counter with Jake, inhaling a plate of lasagna. Turns out when you were hungry enough, vamp stink didn't bother you enough to overcome the urge to stuff your face.

Rosalie wrinkled her nose as she watched me eat. She was in the kitchen helping Esme cook for the pack – part of her mother's punishment for being rude to Jake earlier in the day. The two were constantly bickering with each other, and it was upsetting an already hormonal Renesmee. As penance, Esme had made them spend an entire week together or until they could get along.

"Try some manners, dog," she snapped at me.

I chuckled through a mouth full of food, exchanging a look with Jake. "I'm half animal, aren't I?"

"Something you never let us forget," she sniped.

"Rose," Esme prodded. She gave me a nod. "Does it taste okay?"

I nodded, shifting in my seat. Vegetarian or not, the vampy clan freaked me out.

"He'll take any excuse he can to hang around the house and take mental notes on your house, Esme," Jake chuckled, elbowing my side. I gave him an annoyed look. I liked the house true; it was an architect's dream, but I would never admit that willingly to the leech clan. She caught me off guard with a warm, human-like smile.

"I'm so happy you like it."

I fought the urge to puke and gave her a tight smile. "You have a nice home."

Jake snorted and smacked the counter. "I've heard your thoughts, pup. You can tell her you like it. Brady is a wannabe architect, Esme."

Her strange golden eyes seemed to light up as Rosalie snorted. Ignoring her witchy daughter, the matriarch was at my side in a creepy flash. "Do you really? Have you thought about where you want to go to school? I have some great contacts— "

I shook my head. "No, uhm… I can't. I can't leave the pack to go to school," I interrupted quietly. She paused mid sentence, giving me a saddened look with her stony face.

"I'm… I'm sorry. If you ever change your mind… or I could always help you put together a portfolio. I know what firms look for. Maybe something for the future. You never know."

I glanced up. "You… have you been an architect?"

She flashed a demure grin. "Twice."

I felt my face go slack as the urge to vomit at their vampy stench was suddenly overruled by my curiosity. "So… wait, did you design this house?"

Esme nodded and Rosalie snorted.

"Do I actually detect a sense of culture? An appreciation for the finer things, mutt?" Rosalie sniped. Esme playfully shoved her bitchy daughter aside and gave me another warm smile.

"Ignore her. Yes, I did design this house. We lived in a beautiful home once in Pennsylvania that inspired me for years. I wanted to create something with similar lines. I'd drawn this house practically a thousand times in my mind and on paper so many times over the years, and this seemed like the perfect setting for it."

I nodded. "It reminds me of a house from one of my dad's books…"

She cocked her head to the side. "Falling Water?"

"Yeah, that's it," I replied, giving her a smile without thinking. She bobbed her head.

"That's the one."

"Wait… you lived there?" I asked in awe. The famous Frank Lloyd Wright house was a feat in the art of architecture, and his work was the envy of practically anyone in the field. To think that the vampire family had lived in one of his houses was a bit monumental to wrap my head around.

Esme placed her cold hand on my warm one, making my skin break out in goose bumps. She smiled. "This life isn't always ideal, but it has given me the opportunity to experience some really extraordinary things, Brady." ***

Lexi's voice drew me out of my reverie from several years ago.

"It's so beautiful. Seth really lives here?"

I nodded, gazing up at the beautiful home. "Yes. But he's just watching it for some friends while they're gone, he doesn't own it."

"Oh," she sighed. "What kind of people live in a house like that?"

I smirked. "Rich ones."

She smiled up at me in the dim light, her white teeth and bright eyes glowing slightly in my enhanced vision. "Thank you for showing me this," she sighed.

I stared down at her with a smug look. "You're very welcome. I told you— "

I stopped mid sentence, my senses suddenly on high alert. Every hair on my body seemed to stand up as my nerve endings started to react. Lexi gazed up at me in question, but my attention was turned to whatever made me stand on end. I felt my spine shudder with the need to phase, and I knew.

Vampire.

It could have been one of the Cullens or even Freaky Fred, but none of those vampires had quite the reaction on my body that this one did. A chill shot through me as I realized that my very fragile, very important, very human imprint was standing right next to me.

"Brady? What is it? Is something wrong?'

"Shh," I shushed her. I glanced up at the balcony a hundred yards away where Seth, Quil, and Embry were still sitting talking. Taking a deep breath, I gave my best human impression of a warning yip, and my gifted eyes saw them immediately stop talking. A noise behind us made me sound it again. Lexi's fingers clutched at my sides as her fear increased.

"Brady…"

As I watched my three brothers go sailing over the tall railing and land on the ground, I was never so happy to have a supportive pack. None of them bothered to strip, instead bursting out of their clothes and into wolf form as they tore towards us. Lexi inhaled sharply and tensed, shrinking quickly into my side.

The three horse-sized wolves skidded to a stop in front of us. "I smelled it – no one familiar – head that way, I'm going to take her home and join you. Follow the scent and keep me posted on the location," I ordered. My brothers nodded in understanding, the ground shaking with their large paws as they barreled in the direction I'd pointed. There was definitely something amiss in the woods that night, and I didn't know what it was.

I turned to Lexi with a serious face and began peeling off my pants, ignoring her bewildered stares and panicked breaths.

"Brady… Brady what's wrong? What is it? I'm… I'm scared," she whimpered, reaching out to clutch my hand.

"I have to take you home. I'm going to phase. Hold on tight because I've got to run. Fuck, I'm sorry… just hold on and don't look up, okay? I have to get you home before it sees us."

"What Brady? Before what sees us?"

"Just don't let go of me, whatever you do, you understand?"

"But— "

My voice cut through the dark woods, making her jump. "DO YOU UNDERSTAND?" I shouted.

Her face went slack as she nodded. "What are we running from?" she asked in a shaky whisper as I prepared to phase. The hurt tremor in her voice made my iron resolve to get her immediately to safety waiver. I took two long strides and gripped her shoulders, lowering my face to hers.

"Vampires, Lexi. Vampires are out there. I need to get you home where you'll be safe."

Her jaw dropped as I stepped away and quickly phased. Once in wolf form, half my brain was busy worrying about getting Lexi to safety while the other half was busy trying to monitor the rest of the pack as they chased the scent. My wolf senses took over as I ran, Lexi cowering against my back, her fingers digging into my fur as she held on for dear life. I tore through the forest back towards Forks, trying to watch as they tracked whatever had been watching us in the woods. Realization finally hit me, and I remembered the scent as my pack brothers tossed it around in their minds.

I reeled with realization as I was finally able to focus on the scent.

The cloying, disgusting smell was one I'd smelled before in the past – It was tinged with the scent of human blood and my stomach lurched as I realized it was probably fresh from a meal. It was the vampire a younger wolf, Sean, and I had battled earlier that year. I'd been so down in the dumps last spring after Lexi rejected me that I'd almost forgotten our random fight earlier that year. Both Sean and I had gotten our asses handed to us by the taunting leech.

And he was back.

But why?

I'd learned a lot about the vampire world over the years. I was trained to kill them, yet I did spend some time training with the Cullens. Jake also shared any knowledge he had of them, as his imprint was half one herself. I was certain that after the almost Volturi war that most vampires knew about the Cullens and their reinforcements – a rogue vampire would have to be crazy to think it could stand against a clan like theirs. It would have to have a death wish. The Cullens were infamous in the vampire world now for having more allies than even the Volturi, with every other member possessing a more potentially lethal gift than the next. A vampire with no apparent ties was foolish to irritate a coven like theirs. Word of their bonds and talent had surely spread over the years.

So what did this strange vampire want? It was unusual for him to return to Forks with a gifted, miniature vampire army and a pack of shape shifting wolves – either of which could and would tear him apart.

But I admitted to myself – he had been a skilled fighter.

I remembered the way he danced and laughed about the forest, teasing and prodding us both. He didn't act or move like a newborn, or even a relatively young vampire. The red, seething glares he'd mocked us with were that of an experienced leech. So what did he want in Forks?


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24:The Reason

Brady

I decided I didn't give a flying fuck what this bloodsucker wanted - I just wanted him torn to pieces and turned into a pile of ash.

His concrete fist connected with my jaw, sending me flying back through the air and into a pine tree. The air was suddenly filled with the smell of pine and mud as I went careening through the branches and landed on the damp forest floor with a crash. I heard his laughter mocking me as I rose up and tore after him.

Brady! Jake commanded through our mind link. Wait for help!

I got this, I growled back at him. Jake hadn't Alpha ordered me to stop anything; I kept going. I needed to catch this motherfucker to keep Lexi safe.

After dropping Lexi back at her house in wolf form, I'd silently promised her I'd be back before tearing off into the darkness. I could smell the salt of her tears in the fall air as I charged away, my name falling from her lips as she watched me go. My heart clenched as I ran to catch up with my pack brothers as they honed in on the location of the nomadic vampire. The desire to fucking kill this leech had driven me to chase him with a frenzy I'd only imagined before. In no time, I caught up to the rest of them and was leading the chase like a man possessed. I could hear my pack brothers chasing after me, their thoughts all centered around the leech we'd caught watching us. All of them were wondering why he was back and what he wanted, but I was done asking questions. This vamp clearly didn't want to sit down to tea and chat; he wanted to fight. Well, if anyone in the pack was volatile enough to engage him, it was me.

You need help, Brady. Slow down and let us come in for backup! Jake pleaded. I could tell from the flavor of his thoughts that he was worried I'd bitten off more than I could chew with this one, but I didn't care. The stony bloodsucker had gotten too close to my imprint for my liking, and I wasn't having anything to do with that. A nomadic vampire was dangerous and had nothing to lose; I wasn't about to take a chance and let him walk away.

He could be peaceful, Seth reminded us.

Fuck that, Embry answered as they ran. That's the same vamp that kicked his ass this spring! The one that attacked Brady and Sean. This fucker wants a fight.

We should at least give him a chance to explain, Seth bargained.

If he talks, we'll listen. Maybe he knows Carlisle, Jake answered. I could feel him getting closer, but my angered legs churned twice as fast as anyone else right now. My rage spurred me further as my bones remembered the ache this leech had given them so many months ago. He'd kicked my ass then, and it was time I returned the favor.

What he wants is a fight, I argued. And he's gonna get it.

I spied him in my vision; he was flying through the ferns, the night doing little to hide his pale, marbled skin. He streaked through the green around us like a shot, pausing only occasionally to look over his shoulder. My eyes saw the red irises gleaming in the moonlight.

It's on, I thought.

I watched him clip a corner and try to flee up the mountainside, but he was momentarily too slow. My teeth caught his ankle, yanking him off the rock face with as much force as I could manage. I heard him hiss in pain, the noise sending a chill down my spine. I was made to fight them, but they still creeped me out every time I sunk my teeth into their stony flesh. We landed against the rocky cliffside in a tangle of fur and stone, both of us snarling and growling as we got our bearings. I cornered him against the rocks, lashing out as he scurried up the rocky ledge to stand a good thirty feet above me. My paws dug into the rock as I snapped my jaws and taunted him to just come closer.

I'll rip your throat out, I thought.

The rest of the pack slid into the small clearing by the mountainside, hackles raised and teeth bared.

What does he want? Jacob ordered.

I lashed forward again, snapping my teeth and clawing at the rock. If I knew Jake, I wouldn't be doing this.

Stop, he commanded. My feet stopped moving, and I felt myself slide down to the flat earth as my alpha turned to the rest of the pack. Embry, Seth, Quil… cover me, he asked. He looked over at me. You – behave yourself until we find out more, he warned.

I stood back as he locked eyes with the red eyed blood sucker above us, calmly shifting back into human form. Embry, Seth, and Quil closed in around his body, lips raised over their teeth in warning. If the vamp tried to attack Jake in human form, they wouldn't hesitate to rip him to shreds.

I watched as the vampire's face turned from mock indignance to delight as Jake stood up on two legs.

"What business do you have here?" he asked firmly, his firm voice ringing out over the mountainside.

The vampire crouched in interest, his red eyes glowing. "It speaks!"

Jake nodded. "I wanted to talk to you. This is the second time we've seen you here. What business do you have in the area?" he repeated.

The nomadic blood sucker was obviously delighted. "The dog makes demanding requests," he sneered. "I do not have to tell you anything, shape shifter."

I'd had enough. I didn't fight the phase, shifting back into human form to stand beside Jake. "Answer him, leech. Before we rip you to shreds and make a brightly colored bonfire out of your ass."

"Brady," Jake warned, his arm jerking out across my chest. "Stop. Think. Don't make it worse."

I heard the vampire chuckle in answer, cocking his head to the side as his blood red eyes stared down into mine from his perch.

"You," he sneered, "you are the one I fought with the last time. Tell me dog, does it anger you to have been bested twice in a row?"

I growled low in my chest, the noise a warning sound. Jake sighed, shaking his head.

"Enough. What brings you here? What do you want? Are you looking for someone?"

I wasn't sure why Jake bothered conversing with the stony monster. As much as I loved Renesmee, I couldn't deny that I had no sympathy for their kind. Most of them were content to be murderers their entire existences; taking one soul after another to feed an endless hunger that would never stop burning. While I respected the Cullen's for abstaining, I could never forgive the rest of them for the countless lives they'd destroyed just to feed their thirst.

The vampire watched Jake speak, his cold eyes calculating as he peered over the edge at us. I met his gaze and watched him smile wickedly down at me. What on earth did he want with us?

He spoke slowly, in a tongue I didn't recognize in my limited experience. The noise of his strange words made the hair on my arms stand on end as I listened.

"Il suo sangue canta ai miei sensi," he replied, his voice menacing and low.

I opened my mouth to protest and demand more answers, but he turned before we could speak again and scuttled up the rock face. My jaw dropped open slightly as I took in the speed of his climb, his limbs turning to a blur as he disappeared up the mountainside and out of our range. We were left with nothing but the fall breeze whipping around our faces as we stood at the base of the mountainside. I looked at Jake in question. What did that mean?

"What was that? Portuguese? Italian?" I asked.

Beside me, Seth phased back into human form and stared up at the rock face. "I don't think we've seen the last of him."

Embry joined us, standing up on two feet again. "Way to go Fuller. If he wasn't pissed off he sure as hell is now. Why did you goad him like that?"

I growled and inhaled the cold air, memorizing the scent. "Because. He was messing with me, that's why. Fucking leeches," I snarled.

"Hey," Jake hissed. "Take it easy."

I exhaled sharply, shaking my head. "Calm down, I'm not talking about your precious Cullens. I'm talking about low-life nomads like that. Couldn't you smell his last meal on his breath Jake? He could have just been in Forks or La Push draining someone we know."

My Alpha lowered his eyes in answer, shifting on his feet. "I could. He'd fed recently…"

"So that should be reason enough to rip him to fucking pieces."

"He was fast, Brady. We didn't catch him, so what do you want us to do?" Embry chimed in. "It wasn't like we weren't trying. He's obviously old and knows how to run. We'll get him."

I felt a strange feeling settle over my bones, washing over me. It was like dread, but worse. His red eyes had been unusually haunting; every time I blinked, I could see them staring back at me. I'd never been so unsettled by a vampire before, and I couldn't shake it.

"Fine. But next time, we have a bonfire with his ass," I muttered. Quil and Embry nodded in agreement, while Seth looked at Jake.

"What?" I asked, annoyed at their seemingly silent conversation.

Seth broke Jake's gaze, looking over at me. "Maybe… do you think we should call one of the Cullens?"

"What good would that do?"

Seth shrugged. "Maybe… maybe one of them might know him. Talk some sense into him, get him to go away. Maybe Carlisle could name drop the Volturi and scare him, or -"

"Seth, I'm not calling the fucking Cullens because we can't take care of business, alright? Why do you have to run to them every time there's the slightest sign of a fight?"

Seth shook his head and gave me a dirty look. "Edward is my friend, Brady. He's helped us out a lot, it never helps to have someone around who can hear their thoughts. Or see what their next move is. Or control their mood. Those are some handy gifts to have around when you're dealing with the unknown," he reminded me.

This was too much. My temper was still reeling from the failed chase, and now Jake and Seth wanted to bring even more leeches into the equation? I'd had enough.

"Whatever. If he comes back, call the fucking Cullens to swoop in and save the day. Perfect. Fucking perfect," I snarled, feeling my skin heat up. It took me less than a second to phase, my skin tearing away from my bones only to magically change into fur. The forest blurred past me as I ran back towards Forks.

I was unsettled.

I scanned the woods as I ran, checking to make sure nothing was following me. All seemed well, but that vampire had me completely spooked. Ditching the muddy forest floor, I took to the streams that led towards town, my feet splashing against water as I ran. The rocky stones felt good against my feet as I ran, calming me only slightly as Lexi's house got closer and closer.

Satisfied that I had covered my tracks, I loped through her backyard as I heard my other brothers phase back into wolf form to patrol some more. I felt like a pussy wussing out and throwing a hissy fit over this, but I couldn't control it. Or maybe I could, fuck it. I didn't know anything anymore. Well, I did know one thing.

I paced through the damp grass, my ears picking up the sound of the steady thrumming. It took a moment to pick up, but eventually my ears stopped humming with anger long enough for me to focus on the thump thump thump of Lexi's heart. There it is, I thought. Embarrassed that my pack brothers would catch me mooning over the simple sound of her heartbeat, I quickly phased back into human form on the damp grass.

"Shit," I muttered, realizing my sweats were nowhere to be found. I'd burst out of them when I'd phased, and I didn't have any nearby. I didn't exactly want to climb in her bedroom window to check on her naked, but I didn't want to just leave either. This really just wasn't my day. Glancing around, I realized it was late enough that the house was completely dark. The motion sensored lights were only in the front of the house, so I didn't need to worry about that. I needed to see my imprint to make sure she was safe and sound and where I knew she'd be alright. The steady beat of her heart was muffled by my not as talented human ears (compared to my wolf ones), and it seemed to beckon me. I heard it speed up slightly as if in response to being thought about.

"Fuck it."

Taking a few long strides, I gained enough speed to shoot up the dying rose trellis on the side of the house, the wood softly groaning under my weight. I probably looked ridiculous shimmying up the stupid thing naked, but I didn't care.

I just wanted to see Lexi.

Ever since the vampire had appeared behind in us in the woods, I'd felt like a failure. I'd been so focused on her and showing her that ridiculous house that I'd let my guard down and allowed a leech to get that close to the thing I now thought of as so important, it made it hard to breathe sometimes. The danger I'd put her in would never be justified, and I felt my feelings of self-loathing start to rise up in my chest as I gripped her windowsill.

I would need to do better.

I would need to do anything to protect her.

Even though the window was unlocked, I still tapped into the darkness. My eyes could make out her sleeping form in the bed across the room, and she stirred when I made the noise. Her eyes flashed open, and I knew she hadn't been in a very deep sleep.

Lexi had wedged her way into my cold, thoughtless heart and had somehow made me come alive.

She was the thing that was most precious to me.

I watched her frown with concern and pull the window quietly open, motioning for me to get inside. It was dark, so I climbed up and stepped through – the light in the room was too dim for her to be able to see much, not that it mattered a lot.

Her fresh scent washed over me, overpowering the reeking stench of vampire that seemed to linger in my nose. I expected to give her an explanation, but she surprised me again by throwing her arms around my torso and pressing herself to me in a tight hug.

"I was so worried," she whispered frantically. "Brady, I can't… I can't…"

She surprised me with her strength, pulling me closer and closer to her until we were completely flush against one another. I chuckled against the top of her head, lightly kissing her pale blonde hair as she hugged me closer.

"I'm fine… it's what we were made to do, Lex."

She pulled away, her bright eyes wide in the dim light of her bedroom. "I was so afraid you wouldn't come back and… Brady, I… I think I love you too."

I felt the breath leave my lungs as my mind suddenly struggled to comprehend her words. "You… you love me?"

She nodded, her eyes a little scared but honest. She meant it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone wondering what our vampy friend said, he said something along the lines of 'her blood sings to me' - however, I do not speak Italian so if what I have written is incorrect my apologies; but you get the idea.
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Thank you to NinkyBaby for beta-ing!


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25: The Dark Inside

A need I'd never felt before suddenly burst through my heart, flooding my entire being. My hands tightened around her shoulders as she stared up at me in question. Was she overthinking it? Doubting herself? There could be none of that. I lowered my face and attacked her lips with the most passionate kiss I could muster. She surprised me, answering back with a fiery vigor I'd only dreamt about.

But this was no dream; it was real. We were always going to be the pair that fought constantly, bickering over stupid shit and rolling our eyes at each other… but, this was real. This was the amazing feeling that the guys, those imprinted pussies had been gushing about all those years. They had been engulfed in what I was feeling right now, and it was incredible. I'd finally found the girl that was my other half; the girl that knew me and would love me no matter what. We were a firecracker pair, but damn if we didn't belong together. I knew it, she knew it, and there was no denying it anymore. We were made for each other and she finally got it.

My heart leapt with joy as she kissed me again and again, her lips taking charge and showing me who was boss. I laughed against her mouth as she pulled me backwards towards her bed, refusing to let our mouths break contact. I kissed her with everything I had as we tumbled back onto the soft mattress. Somewhere in the back of my mind I listened for her dad or Patrick to come stumbling down the hall and interrupt, but there was nothing.

There was nothing stopping us.

I opened my eyes as she kissed me, watching the sheer look of concentration on her face as she attacked my mouth with hers. Our bodies fit perfectly, mine pinning her against the soft blankets that smelled like her, and I just… I couldn't.

I couldn't take advantage of her fear and vulnerability right now. She was afraid and rightfully so, but I didn't think fear was a good reason to give yourself to someone physically. She needed to understand this so she wouldn't be so frightened. I was made to kill vampires – I wasn't afraid for my safety.

It was all about her now – worrying about her safety, her protection, her well being. I guess that's part of what this whole imprint thing was about. There was no 'me' anymore – there was 'us'. And I took that seriously. I'd never understood Jake or Seth or any of the other guys who had always been so willing and always ready to stare death in the face and tell it to bring it instead of their imprints ever getting hurt.

I pulled away, her lips suctioning off mine as I rolled off of her and onto my side. She didn't put up the fight I thought she would; instead, she looked up at me in the darkness with her bright, pretty eyes as she waited for an explanation.

"Why do you think you love me?"

She took in my question, her expression remaining calm and stoic. "Because I saw you today… you were… so calm and collected when you thought I might be in danger. You were ready to do whatever you had to do to protect me, and… I get it now. Why you are what you are."

I blinked at her in the darkness. My talented eyes could see every curve of her face in the dim light, but I doubted she could see me. "Are you afraid?"

Lexi watched me carefully. "Are you?"

I shrugged. "Each vampire is different. They're skilled, cunning, very smart and fast. I should be afraid, I guess, but… I'm not. It's what we're born to do. I can't be afraid of that."

"Really?"

"Really," I said firmly. "When it's time to phase and kick some ass, I don't even think twice about it. I guess it…it comes naturally."

"I can tell," she snorted softly. "I used to think you were a selfish ass."

"Used to think?"

"Well, you're still an ass, but you're certainly not selfish, Brady. Especially not when it comes to me for some reason."

"I've told you why that is," I reminded her. "I was made for you and you mean everything to me."

"You keep saying that though," she echoed, "But tonight I guess I just realized that you meant it. Actions speak louder than words… does that make sense?"

I nodded, a grin stretching across my face in the darkness. "It does."

She was quiet a moment, her body losing some of the stiffness that had taken over. "I've never done any of this before you," she sighed, "and I put you through the wringer."

"You should have," I agreed, "I'm an asshole."

"I didn't say I shouldn't have," she sassed back, ever the Lexi I had grown to adore. She never let me get away with anything, not for an ounce of a second. And that was why I loved her.

"Ouch," I teased."

"Right, well… I realized tonight that you'd do anything for me. Anything... including protecting me from a… a vampire," she sighed. "Do they really exist?"

"Swear to God," I grumbled, shifting off of her on the bed. I fell to my side, settling against her warm frame. Some of the sexual tension from a few minutes ago was gone, but I didn't want to leave her just yet. I wasn't ready.

"Well, the fact that you would protect me from one and risk your life to do it tells me I can trust you, Brady. A selfish person wouldn't throw himself in front of death if they didn't love you back."

"Clever girl," I chuckled, letting my head fall onto the pillow next to hers. She tilted her head to the side, clucking her tongue at me. She grew silent again, the weight of the evening making the little smile slip from her features.

"I do love you," she whispered, the heavy words sliding over my heart. "I thought I knew before, but… now I know. I do love you."

So Lexi loved me.

That part I knew for sure. What I didn't realize was how soon after that her love for me would be tested.

By… you guessed it, me being, well… myself.

After a thorough convincing on Ian's part and a lot of charming on Patrick's, I was allowed to take Lexi on another date to Port Angeles. It was innocent enough, I guess, but then again, her two dads were still blissfully unaware of my increasingly frequent patrols around their house, the marking I was doing on all the surrounding trees, and of course, my jaunts up the side of their lattice work to join Lexi in her room late at night. I couldn't help myself though… I'd finally won over the girl I loved, and I wasn't about to deny myself her company. My late night visits started out innocent enough, and while we had yet to 'go all the way', Lexi was growing more and more content to thoroughly test my boundaries.

I'd told her time and time again that there was plenty of time for that. We had the rest of our lives to screw like rabbits, but she would only be an innocent teenager for so long. Like I said, I was actually enjoying getting to know her well before jumping into all the physical stuff. Lexi had different ideas, however, but I knew I would only be able to handle so many more nights of dry humping on her bed late at night before I would lose all resolve and go all Magic Mike on her ass.

But that's not what tested Lexi's affections for me.

Nope. It was the fact that despite the way everything in our relationship was going perfectly – she loved me, I loved her, and the mysterious rogue creepy vamp had decided to leave Forks – the asshole in me seemed bound and determined to fuck it up.

Story of my fucking life, right?

Anyway, we were at the movie theater in Port Angeles about to see some sappy girlie shit that Lexi was hell bent on watching when my asshole side decided to rear its ugly head.

"You know the movie industry is seriously pushing it when it decides to market a movie about an alien romance to teenage girls."

Lexi gave me a quizzical look at we waited in line for popcorn. "As opposed to what? Mermaids?"

"No," I grumbled. "How about a good storyline about a girl falling in love with… I duno, a shape shifting werewolf?" I asked loudly.

She smacked my side as I guffawed loudly, oblivious to the annoyed looks of the people in line around us. Lexi gave me a panicked look that I promptly blew off. I mean, how would they know I was being serious? Come on. No one believed in shape shifting wolves any more than they believed in the idea that Peter Pan was going to fly through their bedroom window.

"Brady," she hissed, her eyes widening.

I laughed again, slapping her playfully on the back. "Babe, its fine. I'm totally joking. Werewolves aren't real," I said dramatically for the people around us. A few people rolled their eyes, but otherwise failed to give me much attention.

Lexi shifted uncomfortably beside me and rolled her eyes, but I could still hear her heart slamming in her chest. If I wasn't too busy being an annoying prick, I would have been flattered at the idea that my secret was so precious to her. She genuinely cared about keeping it. I was all about protecting her, but she was protecting me in a way as well.

"I'm sorry," I said softly after we'd bought some cokes and popcorn. "You aren't really mad, are you?"

"No," she spat, twisting her mouth uncomfortably. "I just… thought it was a big secret."

"It is," I assured her. "But honestly Lex, we're about to go see a movie about a girl falling in love with an alien or some shit."

"He falls in love with her, actually..."

"Right," I added flatly. "So do you really think the stupid kid in line behind us is going to run home tonight and tell the cops that he believes in werewolves? No. He probably just laughed it off. Come on, I was just having some fun."

"It's not funny," she insisted as we took our seats. She turned to me with eyes full of concern.

"It's a little funny."

"No, it's really not. I have nightmares about that all the time, Brady. I dream that horrible things happen to you if people found out about what you are."

"Lexi… you honestly don't have to worry," I insisted. If someone even caught wind of what I was, I'd phase in a heartbeat, and you'd see my happy ass in the Canadian wilderness for a few years until this was all forgotten. My cover was safe from ever being blown as far as I could tell.

"Well… you say that but how could you possibly know? I mean… Brady, what if someone found out about you? Honestly?"

I shrugged. "They won't."

"But what if?" she insisted. "I mean… I don't want some government agency to come and take you away and make you spend the rest of your life in a lab all hooked up to machines before they slice you apart to study you. That could happen, Brady."

I narrowed my eyes at her as I reclined in my seat. "First of all… no. I would normally never hurt anyone on purpose, but if someone was threatening to take me in and hold me hostage in some weird… forensic science lab thingy, I'd totally go all teen wolf on their ass and rip them to shreds. I'd protect you first, then me. I'd never let that happen. Second… it just won't happen. People don't believe in shit like that and the ones that really do are crazy. Everyone knows it."

Lexi studied me for a second, her bright eyes still full of emotional concern. She was just so… cute. I squeezed her shoulder and gave her my best reassuring grin.

"Relax. It'll all be fine. No one believes that things like me… or the other things… exist. They're happy living in their safe little worlds of rainbows and butterflies, and the last thing they want to do is have that altered. Besides… there are things in place to make sure our world is never exposed," I explained, my mind flitting to the daunting image of the Volturi.

"There is?"

"There is," confirmed, settling back in my seat again. "But that's another story for another day when we don't have a whole girlie movie to sit through. Don't worry Lex, okay? I won't enjoy this if you're not."

"That's such an 'imprint' line..." she snorted sarcastically. "You'll fall asleep in twenty minutes whether I'm enjoying myself or not. Don't even try to sell me that crap Brady, I ain't buyin' it."

"No, it's not an imprint line, I swear I'm only happy when you're happy… or some shit," I guffawed quietly, shaking my head at her. Lexi stuck out her tongue and made a face at me for teasing her. "Although I am touched that you're worried about me, so thank you," I laughed. I leaned back and stretched an arm around her shoulders. "Please relax?"

I felt her stiff body soften slightly, leaning against me as the previews started rolling. She nodded slowly, licking her lips before turning back to the screen. I could tell she was deep in thought, but I didn't want to push her. Instead, I moved my hand to her chin to gently tilt her face towards mine. Leaning forward, I brushed my mouth against hers ever so gently, drawing her thoughts away from scary science labs and people finding out my secret. I pulled away just as she was starting to respond, flashing her a boyish grin in the dim lights of the movie theater. If I'd learned anything about Lexi, it was not to push her.

Which was definitely something I should have apparently learned a little better.

After sitting through a hundred and twenty minutes of an angsty teenage love triangle riddled with shitty acting and an un-buyable storyline, I was in a surprisingly good mood. Lexi had relaxed not far into the movie, and she'd even granted me a few minutes of a movie-make-out during some low points in the storyline. I'd honestly blanked out within the first ten minutes – the chick wasn't hot and I couldn't keep track of who was supposedly 'good' and 'bad', so I gave up and instead thought about the patterns of my nomadic vampire friend.

What was it he wanted, exactly? I kept going back to that night in my mind, silently cursing the fact that one of the Cullen's hadn't been near – mark that day on the calendar. But had they been there, I wouldn't still be stumbling through my thoughts, searching endlessly for a meaning to the vampire's foreign words. A few Google translator searches from what little I could remember him saying told me he was speaking Italian, and he'd mentioned blood at least once, but what did that tell me really? He was European, and he was a vampire that talked about blood? I mean, big fucking deal, they all talked about blood. It was like my obsession for Chicago style pizza; when you're hungry, you think about it and talk about it. I couldn't' exactly begrudge any vampire of that. I would sing the praises of my favorite food to anyone that would listen. But to bring it up out there in the woods?

I was nervous. He'd caught Lexi's scent and then mentioned blood. I didn't need to understand Italian to understand that none of this was good. But what could I do? He'd already proven very hard to catch, and while I didn't want him running around Forks, I certainly didn't want to seek him out. Well, part of me did so that I could repay the thorough ass kicking he'd given me, but I digress. Jake had warned me about nomadic vampires, which this one appeared to be. He had lectured me more than once that nomads tended to be bored, testy, and unpredictable. They had no home, no ties, and sometimes didn't even have any vampire friends of acquaintances. They had nothing to lose.

That idea alone was pretty scary.

Some of the most reckless shit I'd done in my life was at the points when I thought I had nothing to lose.

I glanced over at Lexi as we tossed our empty popcorn containers in the trash bins outside the theater.

"You okay?" I asked, pulling her against me. I planted an annoyingly wet kiss on the side of her cheek that she didn't bother to wipe away as she shrugged.

"Getting there."

I nodded, noting that we still had quite a bit of time to kill before her curfew.

Curfew. I chuckled to myself. I was such a pussy whipped bastard if I was seriously considering the consequences of a curfew.

"Bathroom," she said quietly, slipping from my side. I nodded, opting to lean against the snack counter of the piddly little movie theater to wait for her. I spaced in an out as the small-town crowd moved and talked around me, everyone excited to see this or that movie. I couldn't stop thinking about that nomadic dick of a blood sucker and wondered what the hell he could have possibly wanted in Forks.

The only thing that brought me back to the present was the sound of Lexi's melodic laughter echoing off the tile floor. In hindsight, I probably should have realized that I was already irritated with the fact that I was no closer to tracking the stupid vampire or figuring out why he was in my town, but… eh, you know what they say about hindsight. So I was irritated, but what else was new, right? I was already pissed as fuck for something completely unrelated to the situation in front of me before I even registered what it was. Lexi is laughing at someone who isn't me. Glancing up, my blood immediately boiled as I realized she was laughing at something some fucking guy was saying as she made her way back to me. He laughed back at whatever she said in response, flirtatiously touching her arm. I couldn't hear what they were saying because my ears were automatically buzzing with the familiar rage I always felt at times like this.

To give the kid some credit, he took one look at my glowering face and bid her a hasty goodbye before running away with his tail between his legs. Yeah, run away little bitch, that's right, I mentally called after him. I was in attack mode already, so this was no major shift. He was flirting with what was mine, and I intended to defend it. I didn't even try to hide my gloat as I watched him blend back into the crowd. I was so pleased with myself that I didn't even sense Lexi's anger until she prissily slapped me across the chest with her small purse.

"Fucking ow," I growled playfully, snapping back to reality. "What was that for?"

"Do you always have to be such a Neanderthal? What the hell was that?" she demanded, her blue eyes instantly stormy.

"What were you laughing at?"

"Some stupid joke he made about our Bio teacher, Brady! What do you think he was doing? I come out of the bathroom and see my lab partner-"

"Wait, he's your lab partner?!"

"Yes, jerk. My lab partner," she practically screeched. We got a few looks from people nearby that I tried to diffuse with a half pleasing smile, but Lexi had other ideas. I guess that was part of what I loved about her – her anger made her so fiery, it was hot. I followed her like a moth to a flame as she spun on her heel and stomped out of the movie theater.

"Lex," I called out, following at a safe distance. "Come on, he was flirting with you. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't get jealous of some guy flirting with you, huh?"

"A normal one, Brady. A normal one. That's what you'd be," she said, spinning around when she got to my truck. I glanced around, making sure we were practically alone in the dark corner of the parking lot. I might as well let her scream it out in the outdoors rather than have her in the cab of my truck where it was just the two of us and my oversensitive hearing.

"But he was giving you this look like… like he was flirting with you. He touched you! Does he do that in class?" I asked.

"No, he's my freaking lab partner Brady! Ulgh, you just… you can't be like this, this makes me crazy!"

"What, that I'm protective of you? That I'm upset with guys flirt with you? Lex, you're so naïve and innocent, you don't even realize what flirting is!" I snapped before thinking.

Lexi crossed her arms and gave me a challenging look that stretched across the sudden silence looming between us.

"So now it's my fault that I'm innocent?"

"No, I never said that. I just meant that you're less… experienced than some, and maybe you don't realize when someone is… taking advantage of you."

She raised an eyebrow. "So that makes it okay to act like an idiot? When some guy I barely know acts flirty? Some teenage guy? Really? Brady… you make this so hard sometimes when it shouldn't be."

"What?"

"This," she sighed, motioning to the two of us. "Us. We talked about this. That time at the mall, at Leah's wedding… you fly off the handle at the tiniest little thing-"

"What… oh, don't even bring up that guy at the mall that one time. He was mentally undressing you with his eyes!" I exclaimed, scrubbing my face with my hands. "Ulgh, you don't even see… that guy was fucking you up here, you do realize that don't you? That's how guys are, Lex, they-"

"Well, at least he entertained the idea of it."

Her words stopped me cold. "What did you say?"

I must have given her a threatening look, for her shoulders immediately slumped, and her eyes went wide. "I mean… he… other guys want me. Why don't you?"

I felt my jaw come unhinged. That's what she thought? That because I wouldn't have meaningless sex with her that I didn't want her? Fuck me. The one time I actually tried to take things slow with a girl and build a relationship with her, she thinks I don't want her. The one time I valued a person and cared about their needs more than my own, I'm being a horrible human being.

"Get in the truck," I growled, reaching behind her. My hand shot out and yanked the passenger side door open, making her jump. "Get in."

Lexi slowly pulled herself up into the cab, looking away as I slammed the door shut. The irony of the situation felt like it was kicking me in the fucking head at that point. I felt the doorframe creak in protest as I slammed my own door close to sit in the cab in silence. Lexi didn't say anything, and neither did I for a few minutes. After letting myself calm down, I reached up to grip the steering wheel. I couldn't look at her.

"You think that because we haven't… done that yet… that I don't want you?"

She licked her lips, shrugging. "I don't… I mean I know you care about me… love me, or whatever, but… I'm confused. You're my… boyfriend, soul mate, imprint or whatever… why don't we act like it?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, avoiding the question. "I told you I loved you. I meant it, Lexi."

She let out a desperate huff of air, shaking her head. "Then prove it. I thought that being with you, and… and accepting this, whatever it is… that I would get to experience that. But instead, all you seem to want to do is hold off and value my… purity or whatever. You act like I'm this vulnerable little high school girl that will never grow up to be a woman."

"I know you're a woman, Lexi, Jesus. You flaunt it in front of me every time we're alone."

"Right, well… what good does it do me?" she questioned. "What good does it do me when all you do is refuse to go further and… and… and leave? You're my boyfriend, Brady. I want to do things that boyfriends and girlfriends… imprints… do. I want to experience that with you. You're not some villain anymore, okay? I've accepted you, and I want you to do the same to me."

I swallowed the lump in my throat, knowing she was right. I just knew myself – far better than anyone else – and I didn't want her to regret giving up that part of herself to someone like me. She would never be able to take that back, and was I so wrong for wanting her to be sure?

"You love me, so… prove it," she said softly, staring at her lap.

"Fine," I sighed, turning my keys over in my hand. "I'll prove it. We're going to my place – no one's home right now."

Lexi looked over at me with a stunned look. "You mean it? Now?"

I would call her bluff. "Now."


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26: Before the Luck Runs Out

Lexi

I couldn't believe it.

This was finally happening.

Brady had been slipping into my bedroom window, for weeks now, taunting and teasing me with taste after taste of what it would be like to really be with him in that way, and now finally – it was going to happen.

His truck roared as we barreled down the interstate back towards Forks. But we weren't going to Forks, I realized. We were going to his house. In La Push. Alone. For him to prove the way he felt about me.

My heart started to pound in my chest as I gripped the door handle and licked my lips. Glancing sideways, I briefly met Brady's eyes in the darkened cab of the truck as he drove. They were wild and bright as they caught mine for a split second before flashing back to the road. My heart felt like it was pounding against my ribcage, about to burst completely out of my chest. I felt like I was on fire and ready to explode at any moment and we weren't even to his house yet. I couldn't hide my smile as my heart rate increased, slamming against the skin of my chest so hard I thought it might wear a hole.

"Can you hear that?" I asked a little breathlessly.

"Yes," he nodded, acknowledging the frantic beating sound in my ears. I could feel the blood pulsing through my veins as he sped down the road, twisting and turning along the yellow lines towards La Push. I'd never been to his house before, or seen his room, or his bed. I'd never done so much with him, but that would soon end.

Tonight, I thought.

Was I ready? I thought I was. I loved Brady – all of him. The silly parts, the sweet parts, and tonight I realized I loved even the stupid, jealous, angry parts of him. Was that what love was? Knowing all sides of someone and still wanting them in the end? Did knowing someone completely and still sticking around for the ending, whatever it may be, translate to loving all of someone?

I might be young, and in love for the first time, but I thought so. I'd seen so many parts of him in such a short amount of time, yet I still yearned for him. I wanted his touch, his company, his friendship, his hands, his voice… yes, I thought, I definitely still wanted all of him for myself.

To me, that was love.

Before long, we pulled off the winding road, turning onto a dirt drive that wound back through the trees. After a few seconds, submerged in the mossy tree trunks and dying ferns, we came to a clearing with a sprawling yard. In the middle, I could just make out the outline of a small, outdated ranch house with wood siding and a few outbuildings.

"Home sweet home," he sighed, killing the truck's engine. I glanced forward, unsure of what I'd been expecting. I knew Brady's life away from me was far from glamorous, but the house honestly looked a little like a dump. He seemed to read my expression in the darkness.

"Before you get all 'Lexi' on me… don't. It's a dump, I know. But with a merry-go-round of bachelors moving in and out over the years, it's taken quite a beating."

I bit back a snarky comment. "I didn't… say anything. Yet."

Brady shot me a knowing look. "Come on, I'll show you inside. It's not bad."

I slid out of the cab of his truck, the slamming door seemingly muted against the thick fog that had settled over the clearing where his house sat. It felt late, but a quick glance at my cell phone assured me I was well within my curfew. Good. I wanted plenty of time to savor what was about to happen. I followed him through the dim light, my eyes settling on the spot between his shoulders. I could see the muscles of his taut back moving through his shirt, showing off the broad expanse of his body. Sometimes he was just Brady to me. Like, my friend. The goofy asshole that hung around my house and bent over backwards to get me to like him and make me laugh. He had an almost toothy smile and childlike eyes that shone when he laughed, I mean really laughed. Then there were times like these; times that I realized he was a tall, dark, dangerous shape shifter with a body to kill. And a body that had probably killed. He was magical, handsome and older, and wouldn't normally want anything to do with a scrawny high schooler like myself that had next to no experience with guys. But then I remembered that whatever mystical force made him turn into something out of the norm was the same force that somehow drew us to each other. We belonged together.

Would he want me as much as I wanted him?

I gulped nervously. Together, I thought.

The wooden screen door creaked in protest as he pried it open, twisting the doorknob without unlocking it.

"You don't - "

He grinned over his shoulder at me, flashing his white teeth. "Nah. People know better."

I caught myself shivering slightly as his teeth caught the light. In that moment, the shadows made him look almost… predatory. Could people sense that he was a monster even without knowing? Did most humans know enough to listen to that sixth sense that told them something was off about a supernatural creature, I wondered? I wasn't sure.

We walked into the house, and as he promised, it was a little better on the inside. To the right was a sprawling, outdated kitchen, littered with dirty dishes but basically clean. The long Formica countertops glowed under the low lamp hanging over the island in the middle. To the left was a living room with a low ceiling and some worn out couches. A large LCD screen TV hung on the wall, but a large dent in the corner told me it wasn't the most ideal viewing apparatus. Sweatpants, socks, and boots were scattered around the floor, and it smelled faintly like beer, but it wasn't too bad. I'm not saying I'd walk around there barefoot, but it wasn't horrible.

Brady paused on his silent tour, turning around to give me a skeptical look.

"You're sure about this?"

I opened my mouth in surprise, then shut it. "Yes. I told you… I wanted to have sex. Tonight. With you. Will you stop worrying, Brady? I'm not a little girl. I'm a woman. Now…" I gulped, mustering my courage, "show me your room so we can… erm, fuck?"

Now I knew that my words were a little intense and overboard, but he needed to realize I wasn't a little girl anymore. Well, I wasn't ever a little girl when he knew me, but I wanted him stop picturing me as a child. Innocent. Someone he needed to protect. I remembered the curves of the girl who'd cornered me in the Italian restaurant the night of our first date; she'd been all slopes and curves and womanly. It wasn't just her body, it was her attitude. She was confident and assertive; she had no qualms about coming up to me and demanding answers. Maybe that was what Brady liked.

Brady's face didn't react to my tawdry words. Instead, he studied me until a slow grin parted his lips and he gave me a quick eye roll to let me know he wasn't impressed.

"Come on, I'll show you my room. Unless you'd like for me to mount and take you out on the front lawn, Miss Saucy Mouth?"

I frowned at him as his mouth turned upwards into a little smirk, lightly smacking his arm as he chuckled.

"Forget I said that. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to… swear," I apologized awkwardly. "I don't know why I said that."

I crossed my arms in front of my chest, feeling stupid. Which was how I usually felt when I tried to be somewhat assertive and cool, I realized. I should just hold back on that permanently.

He gently kicked open a wooden door at the end of the hallway, still chuckling under his breath at me as we walked. I found myself in a cramped room with a queen sized bed, a meager dresser, and a closet that was halfway open and spewing out dirty clothes. He had a few knick knacks here and there, but it was basically plain. An old beer sign glowed from the corner, but the room was otherwise dark. He plopped onto the rumpled bed, patting the surface next to him.

"Sit."

I dropped my purse in the middle of the floor and shuffled over to sit next to him. My mouth went a little dry. I was with Brady, alone, in his room, with a bed. A huge bed. I said the first thing that popped into my head.

"Nice… sheets."

I avoided his eyes as he coughed uncomfortably. "Well… I take my bedding seriously."

My head snapped sideways to give him an incredulous look. "What the hell?"

"No!" he laughed, holding up his hand. "I mean… I mean I like nice sheets? I washed them a few days ago so they're not…"

I winced, glancing over my shoulder at the flat surface behind me. How many girls had he…screwed in this bed? I felt a little sick at the thought. While I loved Brady and trusted him with my life, I was well aware of his man-whorish past. I was not naïve enough to think that I was the first female to step foot in this room.

"Um… not what you're thinking. I mean I washed them so they don't stink like ass. I mean, my ass. Ulgh, I'm screwing this up. Lexi, I bought… I bought a new bed when I met you."

I glanced at him sideways, surprise registering on my face.

"What?"

"Well… the other had some bad memories. Not bad, I guess… just… old. It was an old bed from my old days of slutting around, and I got rid of it. I burned it out back, actually. I got a new bed when we met, and I'm the only person who's ever slept in it. I swear, Lex -"

"No, its fine," I said, cutting him off. "I know who you are, Brady. I know what you've done… well, most of it."

He gave me a sheepish little smile. "Most of it, yeah."

"- And I'm willing to accept it as part of who you are. I mean… those circumstances led you to me, so who am I to blame you?"

He smirked at me and gave another sheepish nod. "I know. I just want you to know that we don't have to do this," he sighed, standing up. He stretched for a moment before opening one of his dresser drawers. I watched him pull out a few candles, his eyes leaving mine as he walked around the small bedroom, placing one on his dresser and one on the bedside table.

He scraped a match against the side of the dresser, the iron-like muscles in his arm flexing ever so slightly against the armband of his black t-shirt. His already perfect tanned skin took on a honey glow in the light of the match, and the old beer sign that it almost wasn't fair. He was so beautiful.

And soon I'd get to see all of him.

The flame of the match flickered for a moment before swelling with light and heat, growing with each passing second.

I suddenly felt like the match; ready to be struck, erupting into heat and fire.

I swallowed the saliva that had pooled on my tongue and tried to keep my cool.

"Candles?"

He shrugged with an impish smile. "I'm trying here."

"Why?"

He gave me a little exasperated sigh. "Lexi… I'm not this guy. The candles, the charming behavior, the knight in shining armor that every girl wants to be her first. Her boyfriend. That guy she always dreamed of having. Come on, I've seen chick flicks, enough to know that it's the truth."

I dug the toe of my shoe into the rug. "So?"

"So. What I'm saying is… I'm not this guy. But for you… I'm trying to be, okay? I'm trying. I'm the asshole, remember? Well, this is an asshole trying to take every crappy, shitty, assholey thing he's ever done and make it right by doing this for you."

"Brady…"

"No, don't do that. Don't tell me I'm not."

"I wasn't going to," I laughed, folding my arms around myself.

"Good," he chuckled. "Cuz you won't get too far. But I'm trying to be better for you because you deserve it. And if that means having candles and clean sheets then… so be it."

He was trying here, I had to give it to him. He was really stretching to be everything I absolutely should want in a boyfriend. But he had to know that he didn't have to do that – I wanted him as he was. I'd come to terms with his past. As difficult as it had been to accept that my boyfriend was a reformed manwhore, I didn't have it in me to hold it against him. I'd seen parts of him I'm sure he'd never shown anyone before, and I didn't want to reject him. I couldn't – I'd fallen in love with him instead. Brady didn't have to tell me that the ways of his past were a heavy burden on his shoulders - I knew it. Call me crazy, or maybe all the imprint stuff he was constantly spewing to me about soul mates were really true. I don't know. But what I did know was that I could see how much he regretted his wilder past. He wanted to be perfect for me, but he didn't need to be. I wanted him – all of him. If anything, he cemented my decision a hundred times over. I glanced around the room at the candles and rolled my eyes.

"You already had them," I pointed out. "You planned this?"

"No," he said quickly, flicking his wrist a few times. "I'd hoped for it. I didn't want the moment to come and to be unprepared. So I planned, yes. You caught me. Happy?"

Now it was my turn to smirk. "Maybe. So…" I trailed off, unsure of how to actually get things started. I didn't want to just jump him my first time out – what if what I knew about sex from movies and stolen glances at trashy romance novels was incorrect? I'd have to let him lead eventually. He was after all, the experienced one.

I reached for my purse on the floor, opening it to shakily pull out one of the condoms they'd handed out a few weeks ago in health class. I stood, shrugging out of my cardigan to reveal the plain white tank top. Tossing it to the floor, I turned the foil packet over in my hand, letting the perforated edges scrape my palm. He didn't move. Instead, he gave me an unreadable look as he eyed the condom in my fingers. I held it out in front of me, watching as his perfect jaw clenched slightly. I felt my nipples tighten in anticipation. Then, there was a rush of horror as I realized I was wearing only a white tank top with a flimsy polka dot bra, and he could probably see my polka dots and my nipples. He's going to see them anyway, I chided myself. You have to be naked to have sex, Lex. Idiot.

I gulped again, trying to summon my courage. "I maybe… planned a little too."

Brady's jaw clenched again as he reached forward. He snatched the little foil packet up between two fingers, his cocky smirk endearing only until he spoke.

"That's not gonna work for me, doll face."

I shot him a dark look. "What?"

"That's not gonna work. Won't fit," he replied smugly, raising one eyebrow. I felt the heat rush up to my cheeks in a surge of embarrassment and slight horror. Did he mean… I felt myself wince internally as I realized my poor planning. I had a huge, tanned, mature man who was apparently hung at my disposal, and I was a miserable, little, inexperienced high schooler who was a b-cup virgin.

Great.

Of course he would be large in the pants, I realized. We'd dry humped under my comforter enough times for me to realize he wasn't exactly lacking in that area. I felt the blush in my cheeks spread to my chest. Suddenly my entire body felt hot with embarrassment and nervous energy.

His face went from cocky and teasing to serious. "I… part of my condition. When I grew to be like this, well… everything grew. Including that," he stated awkwardly. He gave me a helpless shrug.

"How convenient," I snapped, rolling my eyes. "Did you wake up this morning and roll out of a romance novel or something? All tall, dark and hung?"

"Well, you know…" he shrugged, giving me a grin.

I turned around, tossing by cardigan further back on the bed and out of the way. Kicking off my shoes, I tilted my head and gave him an expectant look. "So where does that leave us now?"

He walked over to the bed, taking a seat beside him. He was still full dressed in a black t-shirt and blue jeans, but I could feel the heat rolling off of him. It was familiar and comforting.

"Wherever you want it to leave us."

I watched him carefully in the dim light, my eyes raking up and down his face. Leaning in, I did the only thing I felt truly confident doing in that moment – I kissed him. While I expected him to throw me back on the bed and have his way with me, he seemed content to take things torturously slow. Normally I would be fine with that, but in this instance, I really just wanted to get the unpleasant, awkward, first-timeness over with.

I kissed him, but with only half of my attention. The other half was busy pawing at the hem of his shirt, inching it up his torso. He pulled away, chuckling as he shook his head.

"Will you just wait?"

I gave an impatient huff before grabbing the hem of my tank top and ripping it over my head. "No."

Brady chuckled, shaking his head at me. I huffed.

"You know… when I pictured this night, I pictured a lot less chuckling, head shaking and eye rolling at me than is currently going on right now, just a FYI," I snapped, twisting my hands in my lap.

Brady's eyebrows shot up. "Lex… what's the rush? We have another three hours before your curfew. I don't want you to think that I'm going to…"

"What?" I prodded.

He shrugged as the tips of his ears turned pink. "I haven't….been with anyone since you…since you and I met, so I might like…"

I chewed my lower lip and tired not to laugh. "You worried you might suck at this too?"

He gave me a dark, slightly exasperated look to let me know that he did not appreciate my playful jibes about his manhood.

"I'm just saying I am out of practice and….and I'm nervous too. But we have over three hours to get this accomplished and I don't want you to think it will last more than ten minutes. Shit, at the rate we're going it won't last two."

"You're not propositioning me very well," I joked, twisting my mouth. "I thought guys like you went all night?"

"No, that's just in romance novels," he rolled his eyes. "What I'm getting at is that I think we have enough time to do this. Would you just stop hurrying?"

I gave him a challenging look. "You'd think you'd put the next three hours to good use then."

He rolled his eyes before standing up and pulling his shirt over his head. His jeans hit the floor next, followed by his shoes and socks. He stood in front of me in black boxer briefs. Tented black boxer briefs. I gave an approving nod as my mouth went dry.

"Uh… good."

He sauntered the few feet back to the bed, leaping over me to land on the mattress with a hearty bounce. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Okay, that's a start."

"Good," he quipped. "Now where were we?"

He leaned over me, capturing my mouth in a soft kiss. I felt myself sigh a girly sigh as his mouth coaxed me into forgetting everything around me. Leaning back on the bed, I let his hot, nearly bare body cover mine like a heavy blanket. I was still in my jeans and bra and feeling overdressed, and Brady seemed to know. Breaking away, he leaned back on his heels and slowly peeled my stretchy jeans off before tossing them to the floor. He shot me a seductive look before resuming our kissing. Brady had kissed me hundreds of times, or maybe it was just dozens. Every time we kissed I felt like my head went fuzzy, and I lost focus, so I wasn't sure.

He had a way of making me feel like time was standing still - like my body weighed a thousand pounds, and I couldn't move. I wouldn't want to move. He had a way of taking everything insignificant thing I'd ever worried about and tossing it away. I'd dreamed about what true love was like before in my girlish daydreams, but it was never quite like this.

This was better.

As he kissed down my jaw and over my neck, I felt his fingers reach behind my back and unhook my bra. He pulled it away, never pausing his lips against my skin as he tossed it down to the floor. My hands shook slightly as I wove them into his inky locks and felt myself start to ache in an all too familiar way. I wanted this, but I was also slightly anxious of what to expect. To be honest, I was a little afraid of doing this. I knew sex wasn't something to be taken lightly, at least not to me. I wasn't like the other girls where I came from back in California. I didn't make light of it, and I'm glad I didn't. But I was also excited to share this experience with Brady and no one else, and a huge part of me felt safe knowing he would be the only person that would know this side of me. He was the only one who would see me this exposed and inexperienced.

His lips were hot against my navel, bringing me back to the present. My mouth dropped open slightly as I felt his tongue dart out and taste my skin. We'd fooled around before, but things had never gone this far, this naked, or this fast. My heart was hammering as I gasped for air. His breath was deliciously hot against my skin. I lifted my head off the bed and looked down at him.

"Can I take these off?" he asked, motioning to my underwear. The sight of him crouched between my legs, his tanned skin against my lighter skin, and the darkness of his eyes made my head spin a little - his hungry look staring back at me.

My knees knocked together awkwardly as my underwear came off, Brady's hot arms immediately anchoring me to the bed.

"You okay?"

I glance down at him again, cringing internally as I realized his face was like close to me down there. I gulped and nodded.

"Good," he muttered, dropping a wet kiss on the inside of my thigh. My cheeks flamed, and I was glad the room was dim. "You'll enjoy this. I hope."

I didn't have time to argue. His mouth was on me, tentative at first. I gasped, my eyes flying open. Holy shit. My eyes struggled to focus on the rough boards of his bedroom ceiling, but I was having trouble. If I thought his skin was warm, then his mouth was ten times hotter – especially there. I bit back a shriek of surprise as he used his fingers to part my folds and expose my sensitive bundle of nerves. His lips covered it a millisecond later, sending me into a quivering, tightlipped mass on top of his bed.

"We're alone," he rasped between attacks. I gasped for air. "You don't have to worry."

A choked, warbled noise left my lips as he continued his welcomed assault. I felt myself choke on some spit as I gasped again, finishing it with an embarrassingly loud cough. Great. I'd never felt more vulnerable and exposed- ever. However, the feelings he was causing me to feel couldn't be ignored. I both hated and loved what he was doing to me. His iron-like forearm kept me still as he drove me further and further towards the release I knew I'd been craving since he'd shown up at my house that night. He held me down against the bed as I came undone with a strangled wail and quivering insides. My hand found its way to his hair and pulled it without my full realization, and I wasn't prepared for his groan of approval. The vibration sent an aftershock of pleasure ricocheting through my body unlike anything I'd ever felt. My body was teetering on the edge of being self-conscious and hyper aware and just not giving a damn. Release wouldn't come if I was worrying about what he was doing and what we would soon be doing.

I let go. I lost myself in the pleasure, in the moment, and in the desperation I felt to have him. I'd wanted to have Brady so badly - I wasn't going to waste this night feeling self-conscious. And letting go was the most glorious feeling ever, by the way.

My body was still humming as his mouth closed back over mine. I felt myself quiver slightly, every nerve ending in me suddenly felt like a livewire. Brady smiled against my open mouth as I gasped for breath between kisses. It took me a moment to come down from my blissed out high, but once I did I tried to relax and answer his kiss with my own. It was hard to concentrate on much of anything after he'd just taken control and done that to me, but so it wasn't any surprise that I didn't hear him ripping open a condom. Before I could even catch my breath, he was pulling the blankets out from underneath my butt and covering us from the waist down. I shot him an appreciative glance. Even though I loved him and we were about to do one of the most intimate naked acts two people could do, it still gave me some false sense of modesty and security to be halfway under a blanket. He lined himself up with me, and I thought I felt his hand shake a little. His eyes flashed up to mine to ask a silent question.

Are you absolutely sure?

I answered him back with this one: absolutely yes.

I won't say I was surprised to say that it hurt. Like it really hurt. But I knew it would. I mean, I knew what he was packing in his pants. Well, I'd felt it. Seen it through boxers. Rubbed up against it. Whatever. But I knew it would hurt. And well… ouch.

"I'm sorry," he said through gritted teeth, his eyes focused on the pillow behind my head.

"Just… keep going… ah! Ow, uh… "

I bit my lip and tried to remember why on earth this had seemed like such a brilliant idea ten minutes ago as Brady's gigantic piece of man meat made my girly parts want to cry a little. Shit, why did women all think a mammoth sized man was a good idea again? I tasted blood from biting my lip so hard and tried to instead focus on the way Brady's muscled chest looked hovering above me.

When the worst of it seemed to be over, I sighed into his shoulder and let my legs fall a little further apart. He groaned above me, lowering his face to my chest. One scrape of his teeth against my sensitive skin had me reeling enough to finally relax a little bit. Brady's hand came down and hitched one of my legs around his hip as he increased the pace. I winced a few times, trying my best to forget everything and to enjoy this. Eventually things started feeling less scrape-y and painful and started to feel good. Really good.

Brady thrust his hips a little harder, making me cry out as he seemed to touch something deep inside my walls that made my toes curl. He stopped abruptly, the toe-curling feeling going promptly away.

"What? What happened?"

"Ulgh, don't stop," I whined, tossing my head back against the pillow.

He chuckled a little breathlessly, shaking his head at me. "God I love you," he laughed, resuming his movements. I felt his forehead against my shoulder as his hand dropped to grip my hip.

"So… different," he breathed his voice low and scratchy. His face looked suddenly boyish and surprised as he stared down at me.

I felt a tingling chill of something erotic slide down my spine at his words.

"What is?"

"This," he groaned, capturing my lips with his. He kissed me deeply, stilling his movements below the blanket. I felt my insides quiver as he pulled away and gave me a look and some words that I hope I'll never forget.

"Lex...don't ever let me go."


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27: Transference

Lexi

I stood in front of the mirror, wrinkling my nose at myself. I'd expected to look different… I guess. My night with Brady had altered so much of how I perceived things, myself included. I felt… older, wiser, and… more womanly. I suppose it was stupid, but after a night with Brady - one that put most romance novels to shame - I'd expected to grow myself some womanly curves, voluminous hair and a sex kitten pout overnight. I felt like a vixen on the inside, but I still looked like a hopeless eighteen year old girl who wore a padded bra and tripped in anything higher than a one inch heel.

Okay, maybe the night I kissed my V-card buh bye wasn't something out of a romance novel.

Or any novel.

It wasn't perfect, but… it was mine.

Ours.

Sure, there was a little discomfort… okay, a lot. Brady was huge, and I was hoping sometime that wouldn't be a horrifying thing. It was two days later and the thought of a repeat before getting time to uh, heal… wasn't too appealing yet. Countless Google searches reassured me that I would eventually be fine, but I was sore. Soreness and first-time awkwardness aside, the bottom line was that it wasn't like the movies. There was no sappy music, I didn't orgasm eight million times, and we didn't wake up in each other's arms the next morning. When I was finally able to walk again, I'd gotten dressed, he drove me home, we argued about the weather for a minute, and then he'd kissed me goodbye on my front porch. Of course the kiss had been nothing short of magnificent, but that was the extent of my evening. I'd had a curfew to respect and Brady had patrol. Reality set in quickly after the temporary bliss lifted.

But I was okay with that. We'd had more than one trying moment in our relationship, and the other night was definitely a highlight on the positive side of the spectrum – I wasn't going to write that off anytime soon.

I sighed to my reflection in the mirror. I might not feel any different on the outside, but on the inside I couldn't help but feel almost complete.

I bounced down to the kitchen as the aroma of Patrick's special baked tortellini started to invade my nose. I was startled to see them both looking serious and somber as they both stood on opposite sides of the kitchen island. My heart leapt up into my throat – did they know what I'd done with Brady? Were they disappointed in me? How did they know?

Calm down, Lexi. Taking a deep breath, I tried to look exactly opposite of how I felt.

"What's wrong?"

My dad glanced at Patrick, who only reached across the counter and grasped my father's hand.

"Honey… grandma died last night. In her sleep."

The words hung in the air. I hung my head and swallowed the lump that was suddenly there. My grandmother, or my mom's mother, had been in a nursing home for the past three years after losing herself to Alzheimer's. She wasn't the same and hadn't been for years. I'd said my goodbye to her on a rare lucid day before leaving for Forks last year. I was sad, but I was glad she wasn't suffering anymore.

"Oh," I sputtered. I wrung my hands together, unsure of what to say. 'Oh' didn't sound very good, but I was too shocked to say anything more.

"I'm going down for the funeral… it's this weekend. Your mother just called and… I guess they're making all the arrangements."

I looked up in surprise. My grandmother was his former mother-in-law and he'd left California with his tail between his legs after his affair with Patrick. I didn't think anything would get my father to step foot in that state again.

"We're all going?"

I watched him exchange a look with Patrick, who shook his head sadly. "I'm going to have to sit this one out, kid."

"Oh," I mumbled again. Leaning on the counter, the three of us just looked at each other for a moment as the news set in. Finally, my dad turned to put the phone back on the receiver.

"I want to pay my respects. She was a good woman, and she was always a wonderful mother-in-law. I just… want to go."

I nodded, giving Patrick an apologetic look. "I'm sorry."

He shrugged. "Used to it. I'll hold down the fort while you guys go."

We sat down to dinner, each of us lost in what I'm sure were our own deep thoughts. Nothing seemed appropriate to say when someone has died. I don't know why, but everything sounds trite and meaningless after someone leaves this earth and goes into the unknown. Maybe there was something else after, maybe there wasn't. We weren't a particularly religious family, but I can't say I'd never thought about death or an afterlife before. I had, but when you're eighteen with your entire life ahead of you it just seems… silly. Believe it or not, I thought of myself as being invincible, like death just wouldn't ever happen to me.

Thoughts of death seemed to hang over the table as we picked at our food and mumbled awkward things.

"Can Brady come?" I blurted out.

My father looked up from his tortellini. "What?

"Can Brady come," repeated, slower this time. "I… I want him to go to the funeral with me. And meet mom. And the boys," I said, thinking of my little brothers.

He shot Patrick a questioning look. My eyes darted between them. I think all three of us were surprised at my question, actually – not just me. It wasn't like me to ask to bring a boy to a funeral.

My dad coughed uncomfortably, like he was trying to dislodge his shock from his throat. "Um… really?"

I nodded, although half of my boldness had simmered by then. I'd really blurted that one out without thinking.

"Uhm… yes?"

My dad eyed Patrick again, and I saw him shrug.

"We can talk about it."

What I thought would be an awkward trip to California was actually… just that.

Brady slept in the guest room downstairs, my father slept on the sofa that was located handily close to his door, and I slept all the way upstairs in my bedroom. The funeral was terse and relief-filled; no one wanted my grandmother to suffer anymore, and we were all so exhausted from the tension. By the time we all got back to the house, I was ready to combust. I could tell Brady was antsy; it had been two entire days since he'd phased, and that was longer than he'd ever gone before, according to him. I knew he was a little stressed from suffering the wrath of my mother as well. After seeing how tense and stiff he was with my dad, she'd immediately warmed right up to Brady just to annoy him. I'd done so much eye rolling in the past forty-eight hours, I was afraid my eyes were going to stay that way.

I kicked the black dress to the floor in the direction of my suitcase, shrugging into a pair of comfy leggings and a long sweatshirt. The weather was still nice in California this time of year, but the nights could dip into semi-cold temperatures. I wanted to get out of the house and away from my parents and the tension that had settled back over the house. The past two days had been a whirlwind of strain and sadness topped with passive aggressive comments and a little too much wine for my mom. Although she acted like she'd moved on and all was fine and dandy with her, I knew she was bluffing. Gay or straight, my dad had ripped her heart out by having an affair with Patrick while they were still married. She acted fine, but she seemed almost still raw with hurt at times when she let it show.

I understood now more than ever why my father felt the need to put an entire state between them.

When love ended, it felt like an exposed nerve – there was no way to make it better. I guess enough time had passed that they could somewhat move on, but the lingering hurt still hung in the air like a dense fog.

I couldn't imagine what my parents were going through right now, and I guess selfishly, I didn't want to.

So, I did the same thing I did the last time things between them got ugly – I bailed. Last time I'd bailed and gone to Washington, and this time I was bailing and going to the beach.

I hurried back downstairs, hastily grabbing Brady's hand and pulling him off the kitchen barstool. He had spent the last two nights happily helping my mother get rid of the countless casseroles and pies that her friends had been dropping by all week. It was weird – what was a pie going to do when someone died? Did potato chips and cubed ham suddenly become okay when someone died? Was that supposed to make you feel better? I wasn't sure. But she'd been more than happy to let him eat his way through our new collection of 'pity food' as she so delicately called it.

"We're going down to the boardwalk," I announced, snatching my father's rent a car keys off the countertop. He glanced up from his coffee cup across the counter, looking too exhausted to argue or care. My mother barely flinched as Brady dropped his fork with a clatter and an apologetic look.

"Lex..."

The front door slammed behind us as I tossed the keys over my shoulder, half expecting to hear them go clattering to the concrete. I was met with a silent whoosh of air as Brady jumped to catch them with a little laugh.

I directed him down to the boardwalk; the ocean was only a five minute drive from where my mother lived. I wanted to get out and enjoy California for a brief moment before we flew back to dreary old Washington in the morning.

He parked the car in the sandy parking lot, his brown eyes flicking up to admire the way the sunlight was bouncing off the rippling waves as it began to set. It had been a mainly overcast day, but the sun was low enough to sink below the cover of clouds and give us a show as we got out of the car.

I wound my hand easily with his as we made our way down the path to the sandy beach.

"It'll be dark soon," I promised him over my shoulder. He nodded, flashing me a little smile.

We found a spot near some large rocks that littered this part of the shore and sat down, Brady pulling my back up to his chest as I settled between his legs. The air was drier here; unlike the thick humidity that sometimes cloaked my new home state, the dry breeze coming off the ocean had a chill to it. I wrapped his arms around my shoulders and settled against his chest with a sigh. As beautiful as my old home was, I did have to admit that the mossy backdrop of Washington did somehow whittle its way into my heart. I couldn't help but think it might have something to do with the shape shifter pressed into my back.

"So what were they fighting about when I came down? When you were stuffing your face?"

He chuckled. "Something about your brothers. Your dad wants them to come for Christmas I think. She wasn't having it."

"Doesn't surprise me," I mumbled, shaking my head. Brady toyed with a piece of my hair and snorted.

"I think my mother loves you."

"That makes one of you."

I exhaled with an annoyed huff and shook my head, refusing to look at him. Neither one of us was particularly lovey dovey. I mean, we cared about each other, but each of us was far too stubborn to go around all day smooching into our cell phones and texting that we loved each other every fifteen minutes. I don't even think we'd said it to each other since… well, since that night at his house. I guess I'd learned that I wasn't the type of girl that needed to hear an 'I love you' all the time just to keep my sanity. I knew Brady loved me, and that was enough. I'd given him a part of myself I could never get back. Call me crazy, but sometimes that freaked me out and sometimes it didn't. I mean, what we'd shared was a big deal when you think about it. Teenage girls are silly about who they give their v-card up to sometimes, and we tend to picture it in our heads for years and years before hand. Always building up the moment and crap like that. Glancing over my shoulder, I caught a glimpse of his profile as he stared out at the setting sun. I don't mean to brag, but… damn, I'd picked a good one.

The sun dipped lower over the horizon, the bright oranges and tangerines of the sunset molding into the water like melted butter. It was almost touching the horizon now, just minutes away from being gone for the night.

"I'm glad you came with me..." I admitted finally, my words cutting through the peaceful silence. Behind me, Brady shifted in the sand.

"It's nice to see where you came from. Where you grew up. It's cool to see it."

I glanced at him over my shoulder again. "Yeah?"

He nodded good naturedly, a spark of something mischievous gleaming in his dark eyes.

"Your mom is… don't hate me for saying this, but she's a piece of work."

"You call me a piece of work every day I'm alive," I teased with a snort. I watched the waves roll in, one after another after another. It was calming on my frazzled nerves.

"Right, but… that's you we're talking about. This is your mother," he sighed. "Talk about a force of nature. Your brothers are cool though."

"They're six and nine. What did you expect?"

He shrugged. "They're cool though. I'm glad I met them."

"Yeah, well… I miss them. I… wanted you to meet them, however dorky or cliché that is. Grant and Dylan mean a lot to me. I miss them when I'm not here, but… I needed to get out of California."

I turned in his arms, leaning sideways against his chest. "Can I tell you something?"

He raised one eyebrow quizzically, and I could see a smart-ass comment dancing on his tongue. But he bit it back, nodding. "Anything."

I bit my lip and tried to ignore how suddenly raw and vulnerable I felt.

"I feel like… well… at first I wasn't sure why I'd left California. I mean, I wanted to get away, make a change, but… I could never put my finger on exactly why I left. I just… knew I needed to leave."

He shrugged. "So what, you wanted a change of scenery? Not exactly a revelation," he teased.

"Okay, fine," I laughed. "But I guess I just thought maybe there was another reason why I left. Maybe. I dunno."

He nudged my side. "Are you trying to hint that it was nothing short of divine intervention that brought you to the lovely corner of the globe known as Forks?"

"What?" I feigned ignorance.

"I still maintain that my sexiness drew you from a thousand miles away," he muttered, nudging my side again.

I snorted back a laugh. "Whatever," I huffed, refusing to let my laugh bubble up through my chest. I stared out at the sun and tried to relax and enjoy the moment with Brady. Today had been a sad day. It had been full of reminders that life was not to be taken lightly, and that we would all someday be gone. While the thought that I had actually told Brady I loved him and given myself to him completely sometimes freaked me out if I overthought it (and I tend to do that). I had to remind myself that I was only going to live once – I needed to do it right. I needed to have no regrets.

Oh, damn it all to hell. I did love him.

"I do love you," I muttered out loud, barely loud enough for him to hear.

Brady shifted sideways, looking at me like he hadn't heard me. But I knew he had.

I could practically see the smug look he was giving me out of the corner of my eye, but I refused to let him ruin my moment.

Instead, I focused on the lapping waves as they rolled in. The orange light of the setting sun faded into pinks, then purples, then finally a serene blue. When only a crescent shaped sliver was left, I sighed.

It was a fitting goodbye for my grandma. She was at peace, and I'd learned young that life was short and not to be taken for granted.

I sighed. "Brady… do you believe in God?"

He didn't hide his surprise.

"What?!"

I shrugged, trying not to laugh. It wasn't meant to be a funny question, but I felt a little silly asking it.

"I mean like… are you religious?"

"Religious? Um… religious, no. Maybe… spiritual is better, I guess?"

"Oh."

"Why?"

I shrugged. "I just wondered. We've had sex… I mean, I think I have a right to ask you that."

"You do," he agreed. "You ok?"

I nodded, glancing down to pick at my cuticles. "I just… I wonder what happens to us when we're gone. Like I'm glad my grandma isn't suffering in her own mind anymore… with her disease and all, but… I can't help but wonder where she is now. What she's doing. You know?"

He nodded. "I've thought about that more than once."

I glanced at him. "Have you killed a person before?"

His eyes stared forward at the water. I expected them to turn cold, but… they didn't. I saw a flash of vulnerability that I hadn't expected to see.

"Person?" he was quiet a moment. "No. What I killed wasn't… a living thing."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "You mean like… like a vampire?"

He nodded. "I've killed vamps. Bad ones. Didn't deserve to live."

"How did you know?"

He shrugged. "It's what I was made to do. Was kill em. Just instinct, I guess, to put them out of their misery."

I blanched.

He frowned at me. "It's not like that. They're… they're technically dead."

"They don't feel? Or hurt? Do they… can they like… love?"

He gave me a dry smile, shaking his head. "That's a lot of questions. I mean… they're weird. Different, Lex. I don't know how to explain it. Half alive in a lot of ways, but..."

His eyes got a faraway look in them for a moment, and I wasn't sure how to react. How was something half alive, I wondered? How did he draw the line on what was okay and what wasn't? It seemed like a rather fine line.

"I do what I have to do to survive. Before you judge me-"

"-I wasn't!"

"-I know, but… before you judge me. I just have been in some situations that… I had to make a judgment call. I had to decide, you know? Me or them? I had to make that call and well… I did what I had to do to still be the one standing here, Lex. It's a decision I have to make every time I phase. Every time I go to help out with something, I put myself in that place where I can either kill or be killed. I'd like to think that whatever God or… higher power or whatever is up there," he motioned up to the brilliant sky, "would understand that."

I didn't understand – how could I? I'd never been put in a life or death situation like that, so I couldn't answer for him. I couldn't find it in myself to judge him, either.

"I guess… I guess I sorta do believe in God. Or… something. Sometimes I think maybe there is something else out there. Shit… there would have to be something else out there to be punished and rewarded the way I have."

I turned and looked at him, raising an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

He gave me a meaningful look. "Lexi… you have to have seen it already. You can't tell me you don't know."

"Seen what?"

Brady reached up, brushing a strand of hair away from my face. "Like I've said before…you have to know that the only good thing about me is you."


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28: Stealing Time

Lexi

Brady's sweet, albeit vulnerable confession to me rang in my ears for what felt like hours.

The only good thing about me is you.

How could I react to that? In that moment, as touching as it was that he'd confided something like that in me, it was also a blow to my heart. How could he think so little of himself? Sure he was an asshole, but he was also a caring, passionate, loving asshole with so much to offer. Did he not even see himself for what he really was? I'd gotten a glimpse of what his home life was like the one time he'd taken me home to meet his mother and things didn't exactly look like they were going well. I had to wonder what had really transpired between the two of them for Brady to look at himself with such low self-worth in his mind.

I stood on the beach, my toes digging into the rocky sand as the waves rolled up to my ankles. Glancing up shore, I squinted in the moonlight and tried to spot Brady's wolf form as he 'went for a run', as he called it. Once the sun had completely set and the beach was abandoned, he'd phased for a quick run and a check in with the pack back home. I grinned and pulled the ends of my sweatshirt over my hands. This supernatural boyfriend stuff was almost second nature to me by now! Of all the girls in the world, how had fate deemed me shape shifter girlfriend material? I'd never know what made me special enough to belong with someone out of a storybook, but I would take it.

After a few more minutes, I heard the soft patter of large paws against the sand. Turning, I saw Brady in his huge, black wolf form trotting up to me. He was so massive. So dauntless. His wolf form was enough to make any creature on the planet tremble with fear that was for sure. And he'd made it clear that he would protect me from anything. I suddenly felt untouchable and more fearless than I'd ever been.

He bumped my side with his huge head, snorting softly as I playfully pushed his face away. He nodded to me, signaling he was going to phase back.

We both glanced around just in case, the gesture almost second nature to me now. The beach was dark and deserted, but I still secretly feared for Brady's secret being revealed. He phased back, his body shuddering a few time before the shift took place, and he was standing in front of me, stark naked. I handed him his jeans and shirt, silently amused that he usually chose to skip the hassle of underwear completely.

"Thanks," he replied sourly.

"What's wrong?" I frowned.

He ran a hand through his inky short hair, the gesture causing it to stick up in a million different directions.

"I spoke to Embry. My dad was at our house, looking for me," he said quietly, his voice laced with concern. "And Quil is pissed at Claire. Fucking drama never ends," he growled.

I watched as he hastily yanked on his jeans, followed by his shirt. I shivered to myself against the cool breeze, but didn't say anything. He was clearly irritated.

"What do you think your dad wanted?" I asked.

"Who fucking knows? Now he's just showing up at my house? Fuck him. Shit..." he huffed, stalking back towards the car. I followed behind, trailing like a lost puppy. I hated it when he got like this – angry, dark, and practically belligerent.

"What's wrong with Claire?"

"She's drunk," he said shortly. "She went to some party with Regan, got fucking shitfaced and started acting all crazy and... and he and Seth had to go in and bail their asses out. He phased on the street like an idiot and took off. Seth was taking them back to his place for the night I guess. Not like he can drop Claire's drunk ass back at home. It never ends."

We climbed into the car, and I started driving home, my mind whirling. Claire and Quil had been on the outs with each other since Leah's wedding - it was like being on pins and needles with them when they were in the same room. If I thought Brady was a moody spitfire, Claire could be ten times worse when she was at her worst. She was rather tightlipped when it came to their relationship – it was weird, really. I knew Quil was her imprint; that was easy enough to see after Brady had explained imprinting to me. A fool could recognize their draw to each other and understand that there was a deep bond between them. Claire had known Quil imprinted on her for some time now, and I didn't understand what the problem was.

I drove slowly, hoping to prolong our private time. I wasn't ready to be home just yet under the watchful eye of my father. He seemed to think I was going to try something stupid with him sleeping right outside Brady's door like a guard.

"I don't get it," I admitted finally, glancing over at him. "Why are they always fighting?"

Brady laughed bitterly, shaking his head. "Believe it or not… you and I had it easy."

"Easy?" There was nothing practically easy about our relationship. What the hell was he talking about?

"Easy in the sense that… I met you when you were more or less an appropriate age. Not by society's standards exactly, but… you were at least near that. A hundred years ago no one would have thought twice about a girl your age and a guy my age, even my real age, going together. It just wouldn't turn heads like it does sometimes now," he explained. "But Quil met Claire when she was a baby. He imprinted on her right there, just like I did with you on the beach that time. But their relationship was different, sorta. It was hard to see you as a… how do I put this?" he sighed. "I didn't see you in that way right away. It took some time. For Quil, that time was just about fifteen years. They were just friends, and he was like a brother. Now…"

"Now she's certainly not like his little sister. She's grown up."

"Exactly," he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "So she's grown up now and shit's changed between them. They've been friends for so long that it's a tough shift to make. He's not handling it well."

"I guess I don't see what the big deal is. Isn't that a good thing?"

"Yeah, it is," he admitted, shrugging. I pulled into my mother's driveway and killed the engine on the rent a car.

"So what's the drama?"

"Well… he just isn't sure how to make that change. How to shift the relationship without screwing it up. Claire's not just some random hookup for him. She's his life. If he fucks it up now, he thinks it will be a scar on their relationship for the rest of their lives."

I gave him a skeptical sideways look. "Uh, he's kinda messing it up now. He's acting like a straight up jackass."

"Right, well… I'm not justifying it Lex, jeez… I've just been inside his head, and I know how he rationalizes it. No secrets when you're in wolf form, that's for damn sure."

I shuddered internally. As much as I loved my friends, I certainly wouldn't want them to be able to hear every errant thought than ran through my mind at any given time. Part of me wanted to kick Quil's ass; part of me pitied him.

"I won't miss this shit," he groaned unbuckling his seat belt. He turned to face me in the passenger seat. "I won't miss this a bit when you finally catch up to me, and I can retire from all of this."

I frowned. "You're looking forward to that? Retiring?"

He shrugged, reaching up with one hand to rub his temple. "Yeah. If it means walking away from this for forever, then definitely. My life has been ten kinds of crazy, Lex. A fucked up childhood, teen years spent phasing, being manwhore, a shitty person, and making a living murdering monsters. Yeah, I guess you could say I'm looking forward to retiring and having a bit of normalcy," he sighed, laughing bitterly to himself.

I swallowed, watching him blow out a stressed breath of air. He gave me a sad, crooked smile. "I'm looking forward to my nice, normal life with you, Lex. I want to put all of this behind me and just… be with you. Two normal, happy humans who can pretend like none of this supernatural drama bullshit ever happened. A nice, normal forever."

I walked down the hall of Forks High two days later, my mind still in a blur as I tried to process the last few days alone. When our plane touched down in Seattle on Sunday morning, I'd turned my phone on to receive a very frantic voicemail from Regan. Apparently Quil and Claire had gotten into a knockdown, drag out fight in Seth's driveway after Claire's drunken bender the night before. They'd screamed at each other and fought until Quil had gotten so angry he'd phased, only to have Claire deck him, and Seth phased to protect Claire, all right in front of an otherwise oblivious Regan. She'd found out her best friend was a werewolf and well, that practically all of our friends from La Push were werewolves.

To make matters worse, the three of us had had a rather awkward run in with someone I'd never met before and would have been happy to never meet- Brady's father. We had just gotten our bags when Brady's entire body went stiff and his eyes got dark and guarded - he didn't even have to tell me something was wrong. My father had been obliviously checking his emails on his phone when a dark haired man practically stalked up to us at the baggage claim.

"Nice to see you… son," he stated coolly.

Brady's shoulders straightened, his chin jutting upwards in defiance. "Dad."

I gaped up at the statuesque man that was standing in front of us, a carryon in hand. "What are you doing here?"

The meeting had been brief and incredibly awkward, Brady not acknowledging that I was standing three feet away, and his dad pretended not to notice other than throwing a cool look my way before stalking off. Brady had been in a terrible mood for the rest of the day after that, sulking through a Sunday night movie marathon with me in the basement. He'd left for patrols still angry, muttering something about going to check on his mother. While I was annoyed he was still being an ass about the run-in, I'd pulled him back for a longer kiss that the peck I'd gotten.

"Kiss me like you mean it."

"Why's that? I just kissed you."

I frowned. "You fight vampires for a living. That's dangerous work. Just give me a real kiss if you're leaving for patrol, okay?"

"Don't be ridiculous," he'd scoffed. He'd left in an irritable huff after that, slipping out the back door of my house and quietly padding across the lawn. He'd given me one last look over his shoulder before the darkness of night had engulfed him completely.

I saw hurt in that look.

Brady would never tell me he was hurting – his way was to get angry instead. I didn't understand it, but I was trying. But Brady would have to give at some point – I couldn't always be the one breaking and bending, right?

I made it lunch, but just barely. I could feel my teachers growing annoyed with the way they would call on me in clipped tones, their underlying message clear- stop staring outside at the rain and pay attention.

I slid my lunch tray onto the cafeteria table, ignoring the way my soup threatened to slosh right out of the bowl. Flopping down onto the plastic chair, I stabbed my apple juice carton with my straw and took a long pull as I glanced out at the rain. Zeke grunted a welcome at me through a mouthful of sloppy Joe, pausing only to unwrap another one of the dripping, greasy looking atrocities from the tin foil they came packed in.

"Hey yourself," I answered, watching him devour the next victim in nearly two bites. I wondered if most dogs I knew would have been more delicate about it. I glanced at Claire, who was simply glaring at her food.

"It's already dead," I teased, elbowing her side. "You don't have to try and kill it with your death stare."

She rolled her eyes at me, but eased her scowling. Zeke gave her a bemused look before his eyes flashed to Regan. I watched her green orbs widen as she realized he was looking at her. She'd been acting all funny since finding out about the pack's no-so-little secret over the weekend. Did she seriously not trust them? I got that it was a shock –I'd been surprised too. But how was she not just amazed with it all? It was magic, and it was happening to us in Forks, of all places. What did she have to be so upset about? I took another long sip of my juice and watched as Zeke took another ravished looking bite from the greasy sandwich.

"I'm not going to burst into one here at the lunch table, if that's what you're wondering," he said through a mouth full of food. He nimbly cracked open one of his two sodas, downing half of it before smacking it down on the table. I raised an eyebrow. It wasn't like Zeke to be short with her.

Regan ignored him, turning instead to me and Claire. She had deep, purple rings under her eyes like she hadn't slept.

"You couldn't have told me?" she asked with a huff.

I glanced at Claire, hoping she would take this one. I'd known about this little secret for a fraction of the time she had.

"It's not our secret to tell, Regan," she finally answered.

I'd wanted to tell her several times, but Brady had made no qualms about emphasizing what a big deal it was that Regan hear about Seth from Seth – Claire was right. Brady had told me what happened in Seth's driveway Sunday morning and okay, it wasn't an ideal way to find things out, but… at least she knew now. Seth had kinda spilled the beans himself by getting all hot and huffy and bursting into a giant wolf in his driveway right in front of her anyhow, so now she was in on it.

At least that was one less person I had to keep a secret from.

My mind went to Patrick and my dad. If things did work out and I did stay with Brady forever, there was no way they could ever find out about him. They were still a little irked and bothered by the fact that he appeared so much older than I was, but to tell them that their daughter's boyfriend was also a magical shape shifter? No way. I knew they loved me and would do just about anything to keep me happy, but no way were they letting that one slip through. No, this was a secret I would have to always keep from them and that killed me. I told my dad and Patrick everything about my life so far. I'd always been a daddy's girl, but moving hundreds of miles away with them to Washington had only solidified that choice for me. I guess I should have been happy that I at least had Regan and Claire to share these things with now.

"Brady would have killed me," I admitted. "I'm sorry, Regan."

I gave her a sympathetic smile, but she didn't look like she was taking the news any better. Not that I blamed her – it was a big secret to be in on, and it wasn't easy to realize how heavy of a burden it was.

"It's alright," she finally said. "I just… got the shock of my life."

I nodded, remembering the day Brady had shifted in front of me like it was yesterday. I looked over at Claire, who was still pouting and staring out the long windows of the cafeteria.

"Did you talk to Quil?"

I knew they were fighting, but I didn't understand the why behind it. She knew what he was, she knew they were imprints – what more did Quil need from her in order to be happy? From what I could understand, she was more than ready to take the next step in their imprint relationship and finally move from 'friends' to 'more than friends'. Quil wasn't having any of it yet.

"Yeah. Nothing has really changed..."

My heart broke for her. Brady had pursued me the entire time – what if the tables had been turned?

"Give it time," I offered, because that was the only thing I could think to say. Clare scowled back at me before grumpily turning back to stare out the window. Regan pushed her food around her plate, not really looking like my advice sat well with her either.

"Sorry," I sighed. Zeke shot me an understanding look from across the table as he twisted his napkin in his hands. Nothing felt like the right thing to say right now.

I pulled up in front of Charlie Swan's house, glancing at Regan as she checked her cell phone again. She must not have seen what she was looking for, because she simply frowned and shoved it back into her bag.

"Have a good night… and try not to think too much, okay?"

She rolled her eyes at me as she unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the door. Seth was a no-show after school that day, which was strange – he usually picked Regan up. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary to see his teal-green and white bronco sitting on the curb across from the school as soon as the last bell rang. But today, she'd tearfully asked me for a ride home when the spot he usually sat at was empty.

"I think that's impossible, Lex. How could I not?"

"Things will work out, I mean… they worked out for me, and who would have thought? Brady…" I snorted in the back of my throat and shook my head at myself. Just a short time ago I would have thought someone was crazy if they told me the jerk I'd met on the beach that day was to be my first real love. Hopefully only, I thought with a tiny smile.

"You're right," she sighed. "Alright… off to finish my lovely English Lit paper," she groaned, stepping out of the car.

I laughed. "Right – because at eighteen we know what the hell we want to do with our lives."

"I know, right? See ya," she sighed, slamming the door shut. I pulled away from the curb, carefully navigating the winding, slick roads back towards my house.

The days were growing shorter as fall progressed; I wasn't used to it getting dark this early in the day, but the gloomy weather of Washington certainly didn't help. I drove slowly over the slick pavement, squinting as the fog rose up, making it difficult to see. The days were still somewhat warm, which made the roads retain some heat – that is, until it got darker and the rain fell, which would make the steam rise up from the road. It created a thick fog that made it difficult to see and even more difficult to drive in. Turning down my radio, I drove as carefully as I could towards my house. My dad was working late tonight, and I didn't know what Brady was up to – I figured the last thing he wanted to do was tow me out of a ditch or fix another flat tire, so I paid careful attention to where I was driving.

My eyes were growing tired from staring at the road, but I held my focus the best I could as my mind thought back to Regan. At least Brady had prefaced what he was by dropping hints and even trying to gently explain the magical part of his blood to me before bursting into a wolf. I felt like I had some time to get used to the idea he wasn't normal before learning what he was. Poor Regan. Zeke had given me a play by play of what had happened after lunch in gym class, and I felt horrible that she had to learn his secret that way.

I was so focused on Regan's problem that I almost didn't see him. I screeched in surprise as my struggling headlights fell upon a man standing in the road.

"Oh my God!" I yelped, narrowly swerving to avoid him. I panicked, slamming on the brakes as I realized it was going to be too late. I felt the tires slide across the slick road, struggling to find their treated as I tensed and held my breath. The car jerked to a stop, the fog swirling in the headlights. Realizing I'd clenched my eyes shut, I opened them an inch and looked at the road.

Nothing.

I blinked a few times, un-prying my hands from the steering wheel. Nothing was there. Glancing out the side window, I held my breath and tried to play the image back in my head. There had been someone standing there, right? I'd seen it. For a moment I panicked and thought I hit him, but that couldn't be right – I would have felt my car hit something.

My hands shook as I placed them back on the wheel, my eyes still searching the foggy road in my headlights. Was I seeing things?

Not wanting to wait any longer, I eased up on the brake and didn't relax until I felt the engine churning to take off. I drove away a little too quickly, but I couldn't help it. That was strange. I know someone was standing it the road, by why hadn't I hit them?

The hairs on the back of my neck stood up as I tried unsuccessfully to brush the incident off. It hadn't happened, I told myself. I gripped the wheel to keep my hands from shaking until I pulled in the driveway. They didn't stop until my headlights fell on Brady, who was sitting on the front steps of my darkened house, wringing his hands together. He looked beyond agitated.

I opened the door and he stood quickly, his eyes dark. He was at my side an instant later, his bare chest shining with sweat in the muggy night air. He was close enough that I could feel the heat rising off his skin as he stood in front of me, scanning me with a panicked look.

"Are you alright?'

"Brady… I'm fine. What… what happened?" I asked, scanning his tall form again. He was barefoot, slick with sweat, and had nothing on but a pair of ripped cargo shorts. He smelled like rain and the woods and wild. He'd clearly just phased back to human form.

"I was patrolling and caught his scent."

"His…?"

He shot me a dark look.

"That vamp. That fucking bloodsucker that saw us in the woods that day. He's back," he practically spat. He began to pace beside my car, his bare feet slapping against the driveway. I glanced around the yard, scanning the perimeter of our neatly cut lawn with a panicked gaze. The fog was rolling over the dewy grass as the garage light shone on it, giving it a horror movie appearance. I shuddered.

"Is he gone? What happened? Why does he want to bother you?"

Brady shot me a worried look.

"It's not me he's after. A few weeks ago we caught up to him and… we got into a scuffle. He said something in Italian… when we cornered him… I didn't get what it was, exactly, but…"

I felt my stomach drop.

"I… I think he found me."

Brady jerked. "What?"

"I… I… I think he found me. I was driving here and I saw someone… something in the road. It looks like a man, but I braked and… he was gone. I thought I'd imagined it until just now, until you said something…"

"Where?!"

"Back up by the turnoff, by the access road. The one the winds by the river. I was driving here, and I almost hit him and on my God, Brady… what does he want?"

He stared out at the dark lawn, his gaze hard and steely.

"Shit."

"Brady, what… what do I do? He was out there, he was right there, I just…"

"I have a bad feeling."

I gulped. "Do you think he's after me? He's gonna kill me, isn't he?"

"No," he said quickly. His eyes locked to mine. "He'll die for this. For teasing you, for coming back here. I'll rip him apart with my bare hands if I have to Lexi. I can promise you that."

I followed his gaze to the trees. "He's out there, isn't he?"

A cold feeling had settled over my bones, making me quake from the inside out. He could be watching me right now for all I knew. Everything I'd ever feared or thought I was afraid of suddenly paled in comparison to a vampire hunting me.

Brady shook his head, tossing a look into the trees. "The guys are still out there, looking. I have Zeke and Jake guarding the house, the rest are out looking for him. Lexi, I… I got into a fight with him. Shit, I…"

"Brady… what happened? What did you do?"

He shook his head. "Jake warned me that messing with him would only make it worse, but I… I didn't listen."

He looked up at me, his eyes changing from fierce to apologetic.

"I egged him on and made him even pissier, and I'm sorry. I just made this worse."

I reached over, pulling him closer to me. The heat was still radiating through him, making his body practically vibrate beneath my fingertips. I ran my hands up his slick forearms, grasping them tightly. He felt like raw power. He felt invincible.

I felt terrified.

Some maniac of a vampire was out for me, and I was only a human girl. Not even one that was in good shape or like, good at running either. A supernatural being had me on its hit list, and I suddenly felt powerless.

"What can I do?" I asked. "What can I do to help fix this?"

He furrowed his dark eyebrows, grabbing my elbow. "Nothing," he snapped, leading me into the house. Once inside, he scrubbed his face with his hands as I dropped my keys onto the counter.

"Am I safe… here?"

He nodded. "The guys are in the woods. I already went through your house while I waited for you… no scent of him here, not that he would come this close. He'd have to have a death wish to come inside. This place probably reeks like dog."

I frowned.

"What?" I sniffed the air, glancing around my father's pristine home. "It doesn't smell in here… right?"

He shrugged. "Cullens always say we stink like wet dog. It's the wolf thing. They hate it, and always say they can smell us a mile away."

He gave a little grin. "Nothing comes close to their stench though."

I flipped on the kitchen lights and glanced around with a leery gaze, still half expecting a vampire to come tearing out of the coat closet or from behind a door and suck me dry. This was all very new and unsettling. The things I'd been told weren't real and were just fairytales my entire life were now things I should rightfully fear.

Well, mission accomplished.

He leaned on the counter, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Vamps fuckin' reek."

"Like wet dogs?"

"No," he snorted. "Like… rubbing alcohol and bleach mixed with musky perfume and cotton candy, then lit on fire with gasoline. It's sick, it's just… sharp and pungent and makes your nose sting. It's sweet and harsh at the same time, I can't describe it."

"Wow," I breathed. "Bad, huh?"

He nodded. Looking up, his eyes met mine.

"I'm sorry, Lexi."

I shrugged, even though I wanted to curl up into a ball and hug my knees and rock back and forth.

"Don't' be," I sighed. "I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. We both were."

He shook his head. "I shouldn't have had you out in the woods. It's so dangerous around here, all this supernatural shit running around… I thought it was safe, ya know? I thought with the woods smelling like us wolves and… and patrolling and busting our asses to keep Forks clean of all that, we'd be fine."

"I'm scared," I admitted. "But you can protect me. You and the pack, right?"

"I'd fight to the death for you," he answered without thinking. He didn't even pause.

I gulped again.

"Let's hope it doesn't come to that," I said slowly. "And he didn't even say anything about me. This could just all be a terrible… horrible, coincidence, right?"

Brady shrugged.

"Nothing we can do, right? Besides hunting him? I mean, you guys will catch him?"

He nodded, his eyes hard again. "I'm going to catch him and rip him to pieces… then I'm going to pile them up and burn him to a fuckin crisp."

"How do you know this is about me? What makes you think he just doesn't… like hate you, and that's why he's hanging around Forks?"

Brady paused, thinking for a moment.

"Because… I'm bad luck. Just when things are going great, it only figures that a blood thirsty leech would come around and try to take away the best thing that ever happened to me."


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29: The Beginning of the End

Lexi

So what do you do when you're a flimsy little human being hunted by a bloodthirsty vampire and your shape shifting boyfriend was hunting him?

I passed the time as best I could, I guess.

I lived my life as I had been – spending time with Brady, going to school, and living normally for the most part – albeit with a few extra glances over my shoulder once in a while. What that would do, I'm not sure – Brady had made it very clear that even if the odds were on my side and I knew enough to run and hide from a vampire that I wouldn't stand a chance.

A few weeks went by, I grew used to the constant patrols around my house, wolf howls, and constant check-ins with Brady. It wasn't all bad though with my dad starting a new project for work and being constantly busy and out of town, so it was nice to have some company. Of course, Patrick was home, but he worked full time. As the fall days grew shorter and shorter, I tried my best to just live my life as normally as possible. It wasn't easy, but I had things to occupy my time.

Regan acted weird for days after her naughty sleepover at Seth's house, and I was pretty sure it had more to do with what had gone down in the bedroom than the wolfy explosion she'd witnessed in his driveway the next morning. No, she seemed to take his wolf-side in stride. It was the other part that I think had thrown her off. It had been a few weeks since she discovered his uh, other job, and she grew distant and distracted.

"Are you okay?" I asked her as the final bell for the day rung. I winced slightly as the shrill noise pierced the air – Forks High still had real bells to signal the changing of the classes, not just a pleasant dinging noise that chimed through the loudspeakers like my old school in California. I smiled to myself as I packed up my books and walked out of our last hour class.

Regan shrugged into her backpack and waited until the rest of the students had filed out of the classroom to glance over at me.

"Can I tell you something?"

"Anything," I replied quickly.

Students filed past us, excited for the weekend. It was Friday – some big football game was set to be played tonight and it wasn't' supposed to rain for once, so everyone was all hyped up. I had no plans to go – I had an after dinner skype session with my little brothers, and then Brady was coming over for a while while my dad and Patrick went to the city for a gala – one of my dad's buildings was hosting its grand openings, and the architect was almost always a guest of honor at those things. I knew he didn't like leaving me alone with my much older, boyfriend, but I'd sat through one awkward as hell sex talk with him and Patrick a few weeks ago. That pretty much left things out in the open. They certainly weren't happy I was in a relationship with someone like Brady, but I honestly think they were more afraid I'd chose living with my mom over the two of them. I felt a little guilty for suspecting that was the reason they pretended to be okay with the idea of Brady, but… come on... most girls my age would leave that one as it was, right?

Regan sighed, her green eyes far away and unfocused for a moment.

"I think I might… how do you know if you might be…"

I waited for her to speak, holding my breath.

"Pregnant?"

I swallowed a lump in my throat. Shit, I had no idea.

"Well, didn't you uh… use, things?"

"Condoms?" she sighed. "No. Because I'm an idiot. I know better. I just got… carried away I guess," she sighed. We paused at my locker, Regan flinging her back against the one next to mine with a clank. "Sue is going to kill me, and Charlie will be disappointed," she groaned

"Do you know for sure?"

"No."

"Then take a test," I offered.

She winced. "But what if I am? That would make it… real."

I gave her a sympathetic glance. "But if you are, then… well, you'll know. Are you sure you are?"

She shrugged, eyeing the last few people milling past us in the hallway.

"No. There's only so many things I can know from a google search, Lex."

I thought about Regan and her problem as I drove home from school. What if I was pregnant? I'd never given a thought to that. We'd been super careful the handful of times we'd done it, but what if we hadn't been? What if I had gotten swept away, in the moment like Regan had, and I was accidently carrying Brady's half human, half wolfy baby?

I shook my head as I pulled into the driveway. I knew I wasn't pregnant – I'd had my period since Brady and I had last been together, and that was weeks ago. With school and my grandmother's funeral and being hunted by a bloodthirsty leech - as Brady called them, I'd been too swept away with the real world to even worry about my sex life, or lack of one. I did however, want to do it again… and sometime soon. The thought of getting Brady all naked and to myself left me more that slightly hot and bothered as I parked my car in the driveway and picked up my too-heavy book bag from the passenger seat.

But still, it was a scary thought. I didn't blame Regan for being completely freaked out at the idea that she could be pregnant. What would she do? I'd met Sue Clearwater – that woman was straight business. I wouldn't want to mess with her, much less break any of her rules. I was fairly certain getting knocked up senior year was breaking at least one of them. What would Regan do? Would she even tell them that it was Seth's? I thought about the fact that she lived with Seth's mother – it probably would come out sooner or later that he was the father of her baby. I couldn't' imagine that ending well.

I chewed my lip like I always did when I worry as I bounced up the side stairs and into the kitchen. Patrick was home – he worked normal hours compared to my dad. He was in the kitchen working on something for dinner, the Food Network blasting in the background. I pushed my anxiousness aside and chatted with him about my boring day at Forks High for a moment before stealing a few cookies from the cabinet and making my way to the computer desk in the corner of the kitchen. I skyped with my little brothers for a while as I waited for dinner, trading knock knock jokes and funny faces with them through the screen. I missed my little brothers. I was a lot older than both of them – Grant was six and Dylan had just turned nine, so they were 'little' to me in every sense. I know they don't understand yet what happened between my parents, and my heart ached for them in the years to come. Would they ever understand why my dad made the choice he had?

Glancing over at Patrick, I watched him hum to himself and cook. Neither he nor my father was what I would consider flamboyantly gay – not that I had any issues with that, but they could definitely pass for two middle aged guys who were just friends. I suppose that was because they had lived in hiding for most of their lives, denying who they really were to the rest of the world. I wasn't sure what my mother told my brothers about my dad and Patrick. I hoped she hadn't done any damage to their picture of him, but what could I do? They would be here for Christmas this year. It was finally my dad's turn to have them for a major holiday, and I knew we planned to do it up big. Tons of lights, decorations, and I'm sure more presents and toys that were completely necessary. As I watched them laugh and make faces back through the screen at me, I knew it would be worth it.

Patrick and I ate a quiet dinner together, just talking together and making our normal jokes. It was nice, I realized. He was like a second father to me – calm, laid back, and he let me get away with a little more than my dad normally did. By the time he showered and dressed to meet my dad in the city, it was dark out, and I knew Brady was due soon.

"Be good," he sighed, dropping a quick kiss to the top of my head.

"How good?" I challenged playfully.

He rolled his eyes, straightening his tie.

"Not as good as your father would be, but better than I would be?" he asked, giving me a charming smile. He straightened out, cocking his head to the side. "Be a good girl. Be smart, and responsible… and make sure Brady is out of the house by the time we get back. Does that work?"

I nodded, shrugging my shoulders at him.

"That works."

He frowned, taking a step closer. I was sitting at the kitchen counter, trying to be responsible by finishing my trig homework early. I was really killing time before Brady appeared, and the house would be empty, but Patrick didn't have to know that.

"You okay?"

I sighed, setting the mechanical pencil down on the granite countertop.

"I will be. Just a lot on my plate for right now. Looking forward to Thanksgiving break."

He nodded in understanding.

"How are things with Brady?"

I let a grin crack my solemn façade. "Good," I sighed. "Really good."

"You being smart?"

I glanced up at him, nodding in earnest.

"Yes. I trust Brady. A lot. He really cares about me. About what's best for me. I… I really love him, Patrick. And I think he loves me. Does that seem… weird?"

He sighed, rolling his eyes as he fiddled with his fancy cufflinks. He was dressed in a jacket and tie, his tasteful shoes squeaking slightly on the tile floor as he leaned against the doorway of the kitchen and watched me with a somewhat rueful gaze.

"No. You're an amazing girl, Lexi-Belle," he smiled, using his nickname for me. "It's a little strange to see you boss that six foot-something man around and watch him catch shit from your father, but… no, it's not strange that a guy would find you awesome. Not strange at all."

X0x0x0x0x0x0x

I settled on pretending to do my homework while the kitchen television played in the background. I'm not sure why, but suddenly the Food Network was suddenly groundbreaking compared to my trig homework. I would occasionally glance back at the scribbles and doodles in my notebook, but most of my focus was on avoiding doing any actual work after Patrick left.

I heaved a sigh, trying to go back to my work.

Suddenly, there were shouts coming from the front lawn. Frowning as I heard Brady's familiar booming timbre mixed with another one that was equally loud, I pushed back from the chair and made my way over to the window. Peering out, I saw Brady on the side lawn, the misty rain that had started to fall giving the large yard an eerie look. Making my way to the side door, I pulled on a hoodie that was hanging on the coat hook before unlocking the door and stepping outside.

Three pairs of eyes turned to face me – Brady, Jake, and his girlfriend, Renesmee. I felt instantly awkward and out-of-place in the midst of three perfect, majestic looking supernatural beings. Jacob and Brady with their tan, perfectly muscular bodies, and Renesmee with her long, bronzed curls and flawless pale skin. Talk about feeling out of place.

"Um, hi."

Brady looked fuming mad, while Jake didn't look any happier. Renesmee winced slightly and offered me a tiny wave, but quickly turned her attention back to the tension rolling from Jake and Brady. She crossed her arms around her middle as she stood awkwardly in-between them. She looked like she was in the absolute last place she wanted to be, and I quickly put the pieces together.

I looked from Jake to Brady, sensing the tension boiling between them.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Brady snapped. He quickly shot me an apologetic look for his tone, but his hands on his hips and his nearly black eyes told me he was far from fine. He looked positively seething. Nothing good ever came out of that look.

"Brady…" Jacob warned.

"Don't," he snapped again. "I did what I had to do. That leech was messing with me, and I had to show him that I'm not afraid to show his ass what's what."

"Brady, you know how dangerous that is!" Renesemee chimed in with her melodic voice. Her eyes were pleading with him as I stepped down onto the driveway and walked over to them.

Jacob and Brady were shirtless, wearing only muddy tennis shoes and ripped athletic shorts. A light, misty rain was falling against the black backdrop of the lawn, but I could still see Brady's wild eyes in the faint light from the front porch. Steam rose up from his skin. He'd shifted recently, I could tell.

"You're in danger?" I asked him, giving an accusatory stare. "I thought we said no more of that?"

He snarled in response.

"I'm done when the leech stalking you is in ashes at my feet!" he spat.

"Brady!" both Jacob and Renesmee pleaded, their panicky tones quickly interjecting.

"What?" he snapped. "She knows what's hunting her. We don't keep secrets."

"Still," Jacob warned, glancing at me. "We don't need to worry her. Lexi… listen, we had an incident tonight-"

"Don't sugarcoat it, boss. I started a war that I intend to finish."

"Brady-"

"Listen!" Brady roared, dodging around Renesmee to stand in Jacob's face. "if it was her-" he pointed at Renesmee, who looked utterly baffled and helpless – "If it was her he was after, this entire pack would be doing round the clock patrols with half of that vampy family of hers until we caught him, ripped him to pieces, and burned him. I want the same for him for messing with Lexi!"

"You need to calm down. This isn't the place to discuss this," Jacob replied sternly. Renesmee nodded in agreement, her eyes flashing to mine.

"Don't tell me what to discuss, alright?"

"Brady, you've made this a game for him. Alright? Are you happy now? You've made this a sport for him, and he's not going to stop until he gets when he wants or we kill him."

"So what's your point?"

Jacob shrugged, glancing at me, then at Renesmee.

"We need backup," he replied quietly, his dark eyes somber.

Brady made a disgusted sound.

"So you're suggesting we just… call in the other leeches to clean up our mess? Since we can't do it?"

"Hey," Renesmee spoke up. "Watch it," she added lowly. Then I swore I heard the beautiful girl growl under her breath.

"Whatever," Brady snapped, glancing at me. "I can take care of this myself. I'm not calling in backup. I don't need it and neither does the pack. We can handle this on our own. And if you don't agree with me then… then I'll handle it on my own."

"Brady," Jacob tried to reason with him. I felt my insides clench. Brady had explained to me the rules of the pack – Jacob was the Alpha, the leader. He could order him to do anything if he wanted to. I knew Brady didn't have to agree with it and that it would be almost physically impossible for him to disobey one of Jacob's Alpha commands. But the soft, pleading timbre of the hulking man's tone let me know that he didn't want to order Brady to succumb to his wishes. He didn't want to make the call and order Brady to obey him.

"Jacob," Brady argued. "This is my battle. Let me fight it. We don't need help. We can kill this fucker on our own."

Jacob sighed, obviously defeated.

"But what if we can't?"

Brady looked over at me, then back at Jacob as his question sank in.

A fresh wave of fear crawled over my limbs, prickling my skin. I didn't want to be afraid – I wanted to trust that Brady and the pack would protect me and that everything was going to be okay because honestly who was hunted by a bloodthirsty vampire? The fear I'd known before was displaced compared to this. It was different kind. It was more of a foreign fear of reading a scary book and then hearing something go bump in the night.

But this…this was different.

Brady was angry and seething, but I could see beneath it all that he was afraid more than anything.

He was panicking because my life was in danger, and I was seriously being hunted by something that wanted me.

Wanted my blood.

I sniffed, shuddering slightly as the feeling settled over me and things became clear.

I was in real danger.

0x0x0x0x0x0x0x

Jacob and Renesmee melted into the trees, their two seemingly different bodies seamlessly disappearing into the foliage; Renesmee was slender and almost willowy in stature, and Jacob was so tall and bulky with muscle they almost didn't look natural. But they moved with a grace that I could only wish for. Once they were gone, I turned to Brady. The brilliant floodlights on the corner of the garage shone brightly into the yard as I shivered next to him. It was dark out and misting a light rain, the lights making Brady's outline look positively treacherous.

Glancing out at the dark woods, I tried to shudder and forget what was lurking out there.

Waiting for me.

"Come inside," I pleaded.

Brady obliged. I could still feel anger on him, but what else could I do? I knew better than to try to talk - his bold, brash, think-later-act now side down. He followed me in, but I didn't want to talk.

I felt numb, like suddenly tomorrow would never come – I could only think in the now.

"Come upstairs."

"You don't know when your dads will be home."

I tried to force a smile. "Isn't that the fun?"

If he wanted to argue, he didn't. He let me lead him up to my bedroom and merely watched as I closed the door and leaned my back against it.

"What's this about?"

I shrugged. "Don't feel like being alone, s'all."

He nodded.

"Sorry about that out there."

I smiled. He'd cooled down in the short walk up the stairs. He sat on my comforter, his wet pants soakig into the material slightly. He thought better of it, standing with a jolt and giving me a sheepish look.

"It's okay," I chuckled softly. Crossing the room, I reached my hands out in front of my in the dim light. The only glow was from a silly strand of Christmas lights I had already hung around my bedframe. Not that it mattered – Brady looked ravishing in any light, especially to a girl who could count the number of times on one hand she'd been ready to ravish something. I felt like a schoolgirl around him – like a kid with a new bike that I couldn't ride yet because my training wheels wouldn't allow me. I could enjoy him somewhat, but I could tell not in the way he deserved. As self-deprecating as it was, I knew Brady had slept with girls who were gutsier and showier in bed than I was or even had the knowledge to be.

Imprint or not, that was more than intimidating.

"What are you doing?" he asked, looking down as my hands met his zipper. I glanced down at the fastening, then up at him.

"Nothing."

Unzipping them slowly, I pushed them to the floor. He was already half hard and growing rapidly.

"Doesn't look like nothing," he slowly drawled.

I let my eyes drift up to meet his. Liquid pools of chocolate stared back at me, waiting to see what I would do. He held his breath as I reached out and brushed my hand against his hard length.

"Maybe it's not. Is that alright with you?"

Before he could answer, I pushed him gently on the shoulders. Bending to my touch, he fell back lazily on my bed. His bare, tan skin glowed against the white fabric of my comforter. My double bed was small for the both of us, but I didn't mind.

I dug in my nightstand, producing a condom. After Regan's pregnancy scare, I'd insisted we never find ourselves as unprepared shape shifter admirers ever again. We'd been red-faced and unable to look at the surly old clerk at the pharmacy in the eye, but we'd each walked out of there with a package of Trojan Magnum condoms all the same. Maybe the clerk thought we were kidding ourselves by buying the larger brand, but we knew better. Regan didn't want to even buy them given the state of things with Seth, but I'd practically insisted.

Brady raised an eyebrow.

"You've got plans I don't know about?"

I straddled his waist.

"I have an agenda, yes."

With clumsy hands, I unwrapped the package and fumbled getting the rubbery thing on him. If Brady minded my inexperience, he didn't mind. He did that thing where he held his breath and watched me like I was his favorite superhero or something as I slid it on. My hands shook, but not from nerves. From need. He began pushing my clothes down and off and away as I secured the condom to the base of him. When it was finally done and we were naked, I leaned down and practically shoved my mouth against his.

We both let out a sigh as our lips came together. It almost sounded like relief. He slowly pushed up inside of me, inching his way slowly before I forced him to hurry it up. Giving in, I lowered myself all the way down into his lap. He rose up to meet me, his body surging against mine in the most blissful way. The discomfort was gone and all that was left was bliss.

For the first time in a while, I finally felt like everything might be okay.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

"I could ride you," I offered, sliding into the cold seat of Brady's truck the next morning.

He smirked at the double meaning before slamming the passenger side door shut.

I gaped at my own use of words as he walked around to the driver's side and opened the door. He fired the engine up with a dull roar and continued smiling to himself.

"I mean like… on your back. In wolfy form," I snapped, crossing my arms.

"Oh, I know you can ride me," he chuckled. "And it's technically in wolf form. What's with this 'wolfy' word you've made up? Wolf form, woman. Wolf."

I slapped his arm and turned away to stare out the window as he pulled out onto the main road. We drove for almost half an hour, winding our way through the frosty landscape. Fall was slowly disappearing and fading into winter, I realized. As harsh as the weather in Washington could be, it was beautiful. The last of the fall colors were tinged with an icy frost that morning, the temperatures dipping unseasonably low the night before. Brady had called me early this morning claiming he had something to show me. I of course followed along happily, eager to hold onto the morning high I had woken up with. Brady had to be gone before I woke up, but I was still riding the wave of bliss from the night before.

To say I was anxious to remember my troubles and return to real-life was an understatement.

When we arrived at the beach, I was surprised. The late fall wind whipped around us as we stepped away from his truck, but I didn't care. What he'd brought me to see was positively beautiful.

The beach of La Push was rocky, the shoreline littered with jagged stones and not at all sandy like the beaches back home. Large boulders lined the shore, the rock formation housing jagged stacks of broken trees and branches that had been thrown against them with the force of the waves. It was calm today, but I'd seen the choppy black water bring in swells that would make California surfers jealous.

But Brady hadn't brought me to the beach to see the waves.

It was late morning and the tide was low. The air was cold, but I would brave it to look at the sight before me. My rain boots crunched against the rocky shore as we made our way closer to the water to have a look.

The sunlight was fighting its way through the heavy clouds of La Push, trying its best to shine through. Bits of rays would succeed, shining down onto the rocky shoreline that was covered in bits of ice. The waves had frozen mid-leap in some places, the icicles forming against the rocks in little glittering waves. The way they glittered in the patches of sunlight almost didn't look real. I smiled as more sunlight broke through the clouds, casting a bright glow onto the already breathtaking scene. More and more pieces of frozen waves caught the light. The scenery was breathtaking.

"I love it," I smiled, glancing over at him.

He gave me a knowing look.

"Was patrolling along the beach before you woke up. Saw that it finally froze. Thought you'd like it," he mused. I felt his arm go around my shoulders. He was in a ratty pair of jeans and tennis shoes, but was finally wearing at least a sweatshirt. His body heat seeped through the clothing. I leaned against him and stared out at the postcard scene before me.

I scanned the shoreline where the jagged rocks met the forest. Even in the daylight, the woods of La Push could seem dark and daunting.

"We safe here?"

He glanced up, his eyes doing the same. He nodded.

"We're on Quileute territory. I think the pack has pissed on every tree between here and Forks, so yeah."

I wrinkled my nose. "So?"

He gave me a cocky grin. "So, it reeks like wolf. No vamp in his right mind would come on this land. Smells like death as far as they're concerned."

Shaking my head at his words, I turned back to admire the view before me.

"This is so pretty. Nature freaking rocks," I laughed.

He chuckled. "Says the girl who told me last week she would scream if it snowed before December."

I wrinkled my nose.

"I just hate the way everything freezes and dies here. And it gets so cold it like… hurts your skin to even go outside."

Brady pulled me around to his front, wrapping his arms around my sides.

"You like the heat, do you?" he teased.

I grinned, leaning up on my toes. I pressed my mouth to his and couldn't fight the tingles that shot up my spine at our contact.

"Something like that."

He grinned, kissing me again. He pulled away with a groan as his phone began to vibrate in his jean pocket. I stepped away, letting him answer. I wrapped my arms around my middle and watched the tide as it lapped at the icy rocks, slipping further and further down the shore with each passing minute. Glancing over my shoulder, I watched Brady flip his phone off and send whoever it was directly to voicemail.

I didn't have to ask who it was. Brady had been avoiding talking to his father for weeks now. As someone who had a super close relationship with my father, I couldn't imagine going weeks at a time not speaking to him. Sure, Brady's dad was an asshole, but he seemed like he wanted to at least work on their relationship. Wasn't that at least a start?

I kicked at a pebble. Brady was too stubborn for that. I loved him with my whole heart, but I hated that part of him – that part that would argue to refuse to compromise until he was blue in the face. It was a part of him that I didn't particularly like, especially times like now.

"You gonna answer him ever?"

Brady slid his phone back into his pocket and grunted.

"No."

I sighed. "Brady, he's your dad."

"Irrelevant."

"No, it's really not," I argued. I knew it was fruitless to try to convince him otherwise, but I had to at least try. It killed me to know that Brady was holding onto a grudge with his dad.

"Listen… I… I know he's done some bad things to you and your mom, but…. he's been trying to get in touch with you for weeks now. Aren't you the least bit curious to know why?"

He shook his head.

"No. And he can go to hell."

"Brady…"

"Lex, you don't know him. You weren't there all those years when he abused us. He made my mom feel like shit and made me feel about as unimportant as he could. I was an inconvenience to him, Lexi. I was never good enough to amount to anything, and as far as he's concerned, I never will be."

"But he seems like he's sorry…"

"Yeah, and what do you want to bet he wants something? He always does. You know when the last time he was nice to me, to my mom?"

I was quiet, my eyes staring down at the shore. Brady was making me feel about two inches tall right now, and I hated it. I was just speaking my mind. My frustration grew the more he spoke.

"It was when he wanted me to build the carriage house for your dad. He thought it would be a good income with a hot new architect in town. And what do you know? Your dad chose him to help restore more than one building downtown, as I recall. Coincidence? No, Lexi, it's not. He used me to get something for himself. That was the last time my dad was nice to me. He told me not to fuck it up in fact."

I paused, sighing in defeat. "Brady, I didn't mean to-"

"Just… back off it and leave it alone, okay? I'll talk to him when I'm good and ready. Spoiler alert – that'll be never. Just let it go," he snapped. The tips of his ears were bright red and his eyes were dark – I'd pushed a button.

I turned and stomped up the beach, no longer caring if Brady was offended or not. The rocks made my rain galoshes slip and slide against them, and I probably looked ridiculous, but I didn't care. I just wanted to get away from that gigantic ass, and let him think about how much of a gigantic ass he was being.

What the hell? I thought. I was only trying to help. I loved him. I wanted him to be happy and fix things with his father. Was that so bad? Brady acted like it was against the law that I wanted him to have no more demons in his life. He was over his past – I loved him for who he was despite of what he'd done. I'd helped people see that there was more to him than just a man-whorish drunk who slept around and snapped at people. He was a person, a person worth loving and having as a friend. Brady was a good person to have on your side when you needed someone. I wanted others to see that too.

I broke into the woods, the ice-fringed ferns snapping at my knees as I tromped through them. I wouldn't go far – I just wanted to give him space enough to realize that I was pouting because he'd snapped at me without even listening to what I had to say. I wasn't about to let him get away with that crap anymore, no sir.

I knew we'd make up – we always did. He'd say he was sorry for being an ass, and he'd be sincere about it. He still had a hell of a temper that could crack at the drop of a hat. I never worried he'd lash out and hurt me. Somehow I knew with Brady, I'd always be safe.

I made my way just barely inside the line of the trees – I could still see Brady's outline on the beach. He was facing the water, staring out at the tide.

I shook my head. I would let him stew for a while before going to see if he would come to his senses. Eventually I knew he would.

I wove around a few of the tall, ancient trees, brushing my fingertips against the chilled moss that grew up the sides. As much as I hated winter here, the frosted scenery around me was rather beautiful. The clouds had won the battle with the sun and were once again making the scene look like something out of a gloomy nature documentary, but I could still appreciate the beauty of it all.

I stopped suddenly, feeling strange. Like I was being watched.

I wasn't alone.

Turning, the first thing I saw across the small clearing were his blood red eyes.

My breath caught in my throat.

The world around me seemed to freeze.

I stared at him, a feeling of iciness settling into my bones. He stared at me with his red eyes, his pale skin sticking out against the lush greens and browns of the forest in which we stood.

I froze. It was the man I'd almost hit with my car a few nights ago. I wasn't crazy – it was him. This must be the vampire that was hunting me.

He looked at me like a cheetah would a turtle – and I knew enough about vampires by now to know my odds were just about the same.

"Uh," my voice caught in my throat. "Hello."

He didn't say anything. He just stared. I gulped.

"What… what do you want?"

He didn't speak. Instead, he took a step closer, then another. I backed up, my limbs jolting into movement. My eyes were held in his bloody looking gaze, unable to look away. I stumbled backwards, my hands shaking with fear. I felt my teeth rattle in my head as he stepped closer and closer. He didn't look anything like the Cullens I'd seen, or even Renesmee. He was graceful and beautiful, but more terrifying than anything I'd ever seen.

I suddenly realized that he was about to be the last thing I'd ever see.

I choked with fear.

"Brady," I whispered, my teeth still rattling slightly. My voice wouldn't cooperate. Damn it, why wasn't I screaming? My shape shifting boyfriend was just down the beach. He could save me! He could come, he could…

I tripped on a tree root, careening backwards against the base of a redwood tree. I gasped, the jolting motion of falling scaring my voice into action.

"Brady!" I screamed, the tone wavering. "Brady!"

The vampire shook his head.

"He will be too late."

I heard myself whimper as my fingernails dug into the muddy ground beneath me. I was trapped between the tree and my killer. Hope seemed like a distant dream.

He stepped closer. I squeezed my eyes shut.

"Brady!"


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30: Stolen Life

Lexi

Everyone likes to pretend that in a life or death situation they'd do the brave thing – just like in the movies.

In the world of make believe, the person telling the story often accepts their imminent death, says something incredibly poignant and stirring into the eyes of the villain, and then dies a hero's death without any trace of fear or misery. Or they stay vigilant despite whatever unfeasible and desperate situation and pick their moment or opportunity and barely skim out alive. They keep their head and their wits and they fight until the very end to save their own necks, and then they ride into the sunset with endless possibilities before them.

Unfortunately for me, neither of those looked like a viable option. Because the moment his crazed, blood red eyes locked onto mine in the clearing off the beach, I knew my breaths were numbered. Brady was fast, and he was supernatural, but I knew my luck wasn't that great.

It didn't stop me from trying.

"Brady!"

My voice struggled to work. Fear had me paralyzed. This was the terrible monster from my nightmares, and then my real life memories standing before me. He was the eerily pale, blood-eyed vampire that had been taunting us for weeks now. He was the killer that had, for some reason, decided I was his most interesting game yet. And here we were, alone. He the blood-crazed vampire that thought of this with a sneering smile, and me – the feeble, frightened, clumsy little human girl. I didn't stand a chance and I knew it.

The cold, misty forest air stood still. It was suddenly thick and made it hard to catch my breath. I struggled for air as the panic rose in my chest, clutching at my insides as it told me to flee. But I was frozen in sheer terror, my eyes locked on his blood red orbs. My limbs went impossibly rigid, the hair on my arms stood up, and a horrifying jolt of fear was zigzagging up and down my spine making it hard to think. My eyes began to tear up from not enough blinking, and I absolutely hated that I couldn't peel them away.

Never in my life had I felt sheer horror like this. This monster had me in his crosshairs, and I was completely useless with fear. There wasn't going to be a happy ending for me. I knew it.

"Brady!"

The vampire was toe-to-toe with me the blink of an eye. I staggered backwards in surprise to his sudden proximity. Just as fast, his icy cold, steely arm shot out, and my arm backwards at an awkward angle. I heard something snap.

Yes, I knew in that very second that there would be no happy ending for me whatsoever.

I cried out in agony as a miserable, pinching pain tore through my arm. The adrenaline kicked in, numbing it slightly as he hissed in pleasure. The sound of the air ripping through his impossibly white teeth made my already rolling stomach practically turn over inside of me. This was the most horrible thing I'd ever endured, and this monster was going to get to end me.

I was suddenly struck with how unfair everything was.

Every girly, day-dreamy wish I'd ever had was to grow old with Brady and surrounded by our grandkids was long gone in the blink of an eye – or the time it took for him to appear in front of me and break my arm.

My eyes burned against the cold and the fear. A few tears finally slipped out, bubbling over onto my cheeks. I sniffed miserably, wincing as the adrenaline wore off and the aching, white hot pain of my arm sunk in. This monster, this leech as Brady called them was going to get to murder me and there was absolutely nothing - nothing I could do about it.

Like hell.

"BRADY!"

"Yes," it spoke, hissing in my ear. "Scream for him. Scream for the dog."

I did as I was told.

A moment later, a blur of black fur came careening through the trees from the beach. I felt him drop my arm and yank my head to the side to expose my neck. My hair fell into my face, sticking to my already-tear stained cheeks. I could hear Brady snarling across the clearing.

"We meet again, dog," the vampire growled.

His accent was thick and foreign but his words were quite clear. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I was screaming at myself to fight back, to struggle, to say something, to do something to save myself, but the part of me that was the most conscious could only cower in fear. His steely, marble arms gripped my body, twisting whatever was broken in my arm even further out of place. I felt like I was listening to the entire scene from a distance, and the only thing real and up close was the sharp, stabbing pain where something had snapped when he grabbed me.

Brady must have lunged, because the next thing I knew, I was being catapulted upwards at a speed that made my stomach lurch. My arm hung limply at my side as the vampire suddenly stilled. I could hear Brady below us in his wolf form, growling and snarling ferociously. His anger was palpable as I listened to his jaws snap below.

Good, I thought. Rip him to pieces, Brady.

Part of my paralyzed brain was only focused on the pain and the fear I felt –another tiny, miniscule little piece of it could still focus on the anger I felt that this horrible creature was going to kill me.

I didn't want to accept it.

"Let me go, leech," I stuttered through chattering teeth. Between the cold and the pain, I was quickly losing my wits.

"Your canine lover still believes he can save you from me, il mio dolce. But he is mistaken I think…" He growled in my ear. "Shall we see how badly he wants you to himself?"

I opened my eyes and fought to bring myself to the surface of consciousness only to wish I hadn't.

We were in a tree. Not just any tree, but one of the tall, moss-covered trees that seemed to go up and up for miles. He danced from branch to branch, jarring my body what seemed like unnecessarily hard each time he could. I felt hot tears of pain slip from my eyes and they fought to stay open. I caught a glimpse at Brady below, my stomach lurching from the height. He was clawing the bottom of the tree with all his might. As if he believed his rage alone could saw it to the ground.

"I shouldn't play with you," he groaned, suddenly stopping his movements. His hands moved faster than lightning as he turned me towards him in his arms, my body limp with fear and pain and shock.

I let out a whimper of misery as my arm sang with pain. It was surely broken, but what could I do? Opening my eyes slightly, I once again saw his blood red irises staring back at me. Had my body been able to obey my brain at that point, I would have shuddered in fear, but all I could do was stare.

"Why?" I choked out, my voice barely a hoarse whisper.

"Because your blood sings to me, dear girl. I knew I had to have a taste of you when I caught your scent in the woods that night. Your wolfish lover has made this the most interesting came yet."

"Let… me… go," I half groaned, half pleaded.

He shook his head.

"That is not part of my plan, unfortunately for you." He leaned in closer, his sweet breath blowing across my cheeks. My stomach churned as I realized this was it - my life was coming to a sudden end. I struggled in his grasp, my efforts doing next to nothing against his cold, steely limbs.

"I will enjoy this greatly," he growled, flipping my body forwards. My back was to his chest as one cold arm forced me against his body. My vision swam slightly as I realized just how high up in the tree we were. I soon forgot all about the height.

Without one quick motion, my head was ripped to the side. He brushed my hair away with a feather light touch as something in my neck snapped in protest.

That dulled in comparison to the sudden white-hot pain of his teeth sinking into my flesh.

I screamed.

I mean, I screamed. I'd never felt anything like this before. It was like a row of searing hot scalpels was being dragged across my soft skin, inching deeper and deeper with each passing second. I failed to notice the warm blood – my own blood – seeping down my neck, the height of the tree, Brady, my broken arm… all of it faded away and dulled in comparison to the feeling of the vampire's bite.

Brady still snarled and jumped below, but soon my ears picked up other sounds. Hopeful sounds. The desperate sounds of wolf howls cut through the air, causing the vampire to still. His bright red eyes were suddenly wide with the promise of a challenge.

"It appears as though our time together is being cut short."

I gasped in agony as the exposed gash from his teeth in my neck was exposed to the cold air. It felt open and wet with blood, but the only thing I could concentrate on was that it burned. My neck felt like it had been ripped open and was almost sizzling with a pain that my mind had to even fight to comprehend. My mind tortured me in that split second, flashing a picture of something fatty and greasy frying on a griddle. This felt like that multiplied by a thousand.

I felt something cold and wet against my skin, lapping up the warmth around the burning gash.

"Your blood is as perfect as I imagined," he groaned, rubbing his free hand up and down my side. "If you survive, I hope we meet again someday."

I was too busy struggling against the sea of pain spawning from my neck to register his words. I felt his arms leave my waist and my body careen forward from the tree branch. I twisted around mid-air, my blurry eyes focusing on his face as I fell backwards, hurtling towards the ground with nothing blocking my fall but the wind.

Then, everything went black.

Funny, I thought death would come swiftly and be peaceful.

It was neither, at least not for me.

People never really think about death – well, okay they think about death but they never really think about how they're going to die in order to get there. We usually worry about what's waiting afterwards for us once we've crossed the bridge of never coming back to this life. I'd never really thought about how I would die – just that I thought it would be light and serene. That I'd follow a light full of hope up to wherever I was headed to next, floating on a cloud of tranquility.

But it was none of those things. It was dark, and black. It was a sea of unending uncertainty. I felt heavy – not at all how I'd expected to feel once I was gone and departed from my body. This was the strangest feeling ever. I didn't feel peaceful or light or relieved. I didn't have the sense of completion I expected to feel in the back of my mind.

No.

There was none of that.

I felt burdened and angry. Weighted down. There was pain and agony, but it was in a different part of my brain now and was being held down with denial and darkness. No, all I could focus on was the fact that I was not going where I was supposed to go once I was dead. Was this my purgatory? Was something still supposed to happen? Was I going to get a choice in whether I stayed or went?

I felt imprisoned. Unable to move. Pinned down by a blanket of the shadowy unknown where my body was no longer my own, and all that was left was the feeling that I was losing control.

A feeling of despair settled over me as everything else, everything I knew – faded away.

Slowly, things came back to me. I was me again. I was Lexi, and I had a body and a memory and recognition. I wasn't lost – I was still myself. Maybe I would make it out of this after all!

But then…

As soon as the realization that I was me again hit me, I immediately wished it hadn't. My limbs gained feeling back bit by bit, and I realized something terrible was holding me back from whatever step was next for me.

I didn't understand what was happening to me. My body still felt heavy, like I was trapped in a dream. But there was pain – so much of it. Everything hurt. My arm, my back, my legs, my neck.

My neck.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I gasped in surprise.

I felt like a piece of my flesh had been suddenly ripped away from my skin, but I didn't have enough control over my body yet to scream – only enough of my mind had returned to register pain and fear and sheer agony as everything else fell to the wayside. The exposed skin felt like it was boiling near the surface and being scraped with a blade all at the same time. I'd seen a glass blower working once – he was someone my dad knew, and he'd taken me to his shop to show me how he heated the glass and bits of metal in an oven and they became so hot, they formed a silvery liquid that was like mirrored water. I felt like a mixture such as this had been poured into my open wound, and I could feel it dripping further into my body. I pictured the white-hot molten lava seeping through the gash, mixing with my blood and tissue. It spread under and over my skin, inch by miserable inch. I knew nothing else but the pain in my neck and the memory of that horrible fucking glassblower, and I felt like I was drowning.

"What is it now, you miserable dog?"

"What did you do? What did you do to her?"

This was pain as I'd never felt it. This was pain as I'd never dared to imagine it.

It was hot and feral as it ripped through the delicate veins of my neck, searing a trail of inferno down into my body. I didn't understand what was happening – hadn't I fallen? Why wasn't I dead, surrounded by fluffy white clouds and singing angels? Why wasn't my grams here? Why did it hurt so much?

"Think about what you want more. Revenge, or her? Chase me now or stay with your love and watch her burn."

I fought to comprehend, to make sense of anything that was happening, but my mind came up with nothing. I was far from perfect in my life, but I couldn't think of a single solitary thing I'd done to deserve a punishment as strange and cruel as this one.

My neck throbbed with an unbearable, radiating agony.

Oh my god, I thought. I was going to burn like this. It would spread through my entire body until I was completely charred. Would it ever end? The higher and higher the inferno blazed, the more aware I became that I was going to burn from the inside out, and it would not be quick. No, this horrible molten lava that was now tearing through the delicate skin of my veins and skin and tissue was taking its sweet time as it traveled further into my body.

Then it intensified.

It intensified a thousand times over.

Hotter and hotter I burned, the poisoned fire spreading, ripping its way through my veins. This has to end, I thought. There has to be some cause, something wrong. Someone has to help me! I can't burn like this forever! It has to stop! Someone, please help me!

But time fell away, as did reason. Forever suddenly seemed like something completely possible.

The blaze continued.

"Lexi! Oh my God, Lexi! Baby… Can you hear me? Lexi, please, please…"

I was lost in bewilderment. I wanted to return to the part of my mind that could answer back to the phantom sounding voice somewhere near me. It sounded strong, but fearful. Like it could help me.

The wave of pain pulled me further under, all rational thought drawn to it. I tried to separate it, to think of anything else, but I was alone. Alone as the agonizing flames licked their way through my insides.

"Lexi, I'm so sorry… I did this. I couldn't protect you, I couldn't save you and now…"

It crept down my spine, taking its time as it burned every rib to a crisp. It seeped down my arms, over and under every inch until it radiated in my fingertips. Even my nail beds suddenly felt like torched wasteland of space on my body. It slowly crept into my chest, encasing the heart in my chest I'd forgotten about. Every movement the devilish fire took inside my body, I was now painfully aware of.

"I fucking hate myself for doing this to you. I let him get to you. I was so… oh my God, Lexi…"

There was pressure on my arm. I wanted to scream, to gasp, or rip it away from the feeling of it. It pushed the pain further into my bones, allowing it to spread like poison. I was frozen in an agonizing hell with no hope of understanding why.

"Lexi… come back to me."


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31: The Undead

Brady

My sobs and tearful pleas fell on Lexi's lifeless form with no response. I gripped her limp hand in mine as I crouched on the muddy ground next to her, naked and feeling so void of hope it felt like my heart would cease and my chest would cave in.

Lexi was gone.

I wove her lifeless fingers with mine, trying to glean whatever last shreds of warmth and life was lingering there. I had tuned out the pack. Their hunting calls and fearless snarls as they searched for the ruthless creature that had committed this horrible act fell on deaf ears.

I felt inconsolable.

Lexi was still crumpled on the ground in front of me, surely swimming in a sea of pain and confusion as she clung to the last bits of her life. I knew it would be over soon, but I selfishly didn't want it to be. Of course I didn't want her to hurt or suffer, but I was unwilling to let her go. Her face was unreadable as she lay crumped on the ground, unmoving. How had I let this happen to the thing that was most precious to me in this world?

"We lost him."

I wiped my eyes and tried to wake from the horrendous reality that was suddenly my life. The tiny shreds of bliss I'd felt by knowing Lexi and loving her felt like they were over before they'd begun. And for what? For a vampire's game?

"I'm sorry Brady. We lost him," Astin murmured again.

Quil growled. "Find him," he snapped.

Gone. The fucking bloodsucker who had killed Lexi was just gone. I wouldn't get to find him, sink my teeth into him, or rip him to pieces. I wouldn't get to pile his steely limbs into a pile and burn it to ash, the sickly sweet smell filling the air.

A noise I didn't realize I could make fell from my lips as another wave of agony washed over me. My heart wasn't just breaking – it was imploding in a fiery heap of useless tissue inside my chest.

Tears. And screams. Lots of screams. They all poured from me without any semblance of a filter as my pack brothers phased back into human form and gathered around the clearing. Jake, Embry, Zeke, Quil… I could smell their familiar scents around me as my world collapsed.

Silence fell on the clearing. The only noise was the sound of the raindrops hitting the frail fern leaves. I heard Astin whimper as Seth came sliding into the clearing. I stared down at Lexi's body as I tried to collect myself.

I heard growls of disgust and a few paws stamped the ground in answer to whatever wolfy question Seth was apparently asking. I didn't know, and I didn't care. I felt the air shimmer a few seconds later, signaling a phase nearby.

I glanced up with a protective snarl as Seth knelt on Lexi's other side. Embry followed suit, lowering himself to my eye level. They were both looking at me like I might snap.

They weren't wrong. My grief was substantial, but so was my rage. That heartless fucking leech was out there somewhere, and I knew once I could see past Lexi's death… I would avenge her.

Embry's dark eyes scanned Lexi's body, his eyes focusing on the gaping wound in her neck. Her heart beat had slowed, signaling that she was almost to the end.

"She'll wake up," he said, so quietly I almost didn't hear him.

He had to be joking. Her injuries were extensive. Her arm was broken, she'd lost a lot of blood, and I couldn't even fathom the injuries to her neck and back from her fall from the tree. What on earth was he talking about?

I followed his gaze back to the wound on her neck. He couldn't mean…

"She… she what?" I forced out.

He nodded to her neck, then glanced at Seth for confirmation.

Seth shifted his weight as he crouched on her other side. "She's been bitten, Brady. She's not dead. She'll wake up," he explained.

I stared at the bite on her neck as blood still slowly seeped from the wound. The venom had probably slowed the trickle of blood – vampire venom must have healing qualities I didn't know about. I thought people either died or… were changed. My pain was magnified as I realized what my pack brothers were telling me. They thought the bite she'd received was enough to change her – that she would survive this gruesome mess and wake up as a vampire.

But did that explain why her heart was still beating, I wondered? I was perplexed that she was still living, but of course I didn't want to question that. Could it be that the venom from that one bite be enough to change her? I didn't know much about vampire transformations. Didn't care to. I didn't know what the difference was between biting, feeding, or changing someone with a purpose. The Swan girl had been changed with her husband's venom in a syringe and about a dozen bites, but he certainly hadn't been feeding off his dying wife.

I was suddenly angry with myself and frustrated that I didn't know more on the subject.

"She'll… she'll be a fucking leech! She'll be one of them!" I snarled, silently praying I was wrong. My mind instantly conjured a picture of my sweet, beautiful imprint – but I couldn't imagine her with pale, icy skin and blood red eyes like the newborns I'd killed over the years.

It didn't make any sense. She couldn't be that – she wouldn't.

But what would you do? The voice asked. Would you be able to kill her? Put her out of her misery, and not live the life of a murdering leech? Would you be able to rip her to pieces and burn her body?

No, another voice entered my mind. Sanity, probably. I could never kill Lexi. Or any form of her.

Seth's voice cut through my thoughts again. "Brady…she'll still be Lexi. She'll still be…" he swallowed, shaking his head, "she'll still be her."

I fought the ripple of rage that shot through my spine at his words. I spoke through gritted teeth, "Let's see Regan get bitten by a fucking vampire in front of your face… and then you let me know how you think I should act."

He didn't respond. I think he realized it was pointless. I held Lexi's cold hand and tried not to picture her baby blue eyes with a shade of blood-laced red.

We were quiet for a long time before he spoke again. "We need to call the Cullens."

"And what will your precious Cullens do? Hmm?" I snapped. I broke then, another sob burning its way up my chest and out of my throat. I hadn't felt pain like this before. It just kept bubbling and brimming in the hole inside my chest where it felt like my heart used to be, demanding to surface. It was too much for one person to possibly feel. I should care that I was sobbing like a little baby in front of my brothers, my pack…but I didn't. This pain was too much to hide, to even think of hiding. I didn't stand a chance against it.

"They might help us," he argued, "They'll know what to do when…"

I winced as he trailed off. His unspoken words seemed to hang in the chilly air. They honestly expected her to survive this and wake up?

But she wouldn't, I remembered. If she did by some miraculous reason transform into a vampire, she wouldn't wake up alive.

Lexi would be the undead.

I shuddered at the thought of what they actually were. Parasites, I thought. Deceivingly beautiful, icy monsters that lived off of blood. Neither living nor dead.

Embry picked up one of Lexi's arms, glancing at Seth as he did so. He gently held it to his nose, running it across her skin. He placed it down by her side as if she were a china doll and glanced at the ground.

"Well?" I snapped.

He looked surprised. "I thought you didn't care," he sniped back. Seth gave an irritated growl in the back of his throat, clearly warning Embry to tread lightly with me. Seth - always the peacemaker, I thought with an annoyed growl of my own.

"I care about her, okay? I care about her so fucking much, and…I wasn't able to save her. And now…"

Seth shook his head again, giving me a pleading look. He could tell I was ready to break again.

"She'll wake up, Brady. She'll be better again. She's going to be… different, but… she'll be alive."

I fought back another slew of tears and laughed bitterly. "Alive? You call what they are alive?"

He nodded, looking away. I knew how Seth felt about the precious Cullens. Edward was still one of his best friends. After years of resistance, I'd accepted our peaceful treaty with the vegetarian family for what it was. A safety net if we needed it and a strange alliance that had worked in the favor of both sides more than once. But how did he honestly expect me to feel about my imprint becoming one of them? While his was at home with warm skin and a perfectly beating heart?

I suddenly smelled what Embry was talking about. I could still smell Lexi, but the scent of her blood was slowly changing, intermixing with something else. It wasn't as cloying as the scent of vampire, but I could tell something other than her own blood was racing through her veins.

"So that's it then? She's turning?" I asked, glancing over at him. I gripped her lifeless hand in my own and tried to blink back tears. I saw him nod, and I broke again.

X0x0x0x0x0x0x

I kept vigil over her body for hours – the wintery light was fading as the already short day turned to night. More and more of my pack brothers appeared in the clearing, signifying that the hunt for Lexi's killer had ended. They showed up looking listless, tired, and beaten. It didn't matter though – my vow to find him and kill him was fresh in my mind.

"When I get him… I'm going to rip his dead heart out…" I growled. I reached over to run my fingertips down Lexi's cold cheek. Where was she, I wondered? Was she unconscious, or swimming in a sea of pain right now? What was the venom from his bite making her feel besides pain? Anger, regret, fear? So many unknowns made it all feel so hopeless.

Jake padded up, still in wolf form. I knew he was trying his best to be a leader and stay alert and in command, but how could he look so calm in a time like this? He exchanged a look with the rest of the pack that was still phased, and I knew it would be soon – he'd called the Cullens several hours before, and it wouldn't take them long to get to where we were.

I stared at Lexi. If the venom was indeed working, there was no sign of it. Her heart had slowed to only a few soft thumps every few seconds and was nowhere near as strong as it should be. I thought of how many times the sound of her steady heartbeat had been my center; I'd listened to it and it of all things helped me stay calm. It helped me guide my mind back to a place where I could make sense of everything and remember what was important. It was one of the things I would miss the most about being around her.

What would the Cullens do, I wondered? Would they know some magical way that we didn't to fix her? Or stop the venom and somehow heal her? I held onto that hope as the rain started to fall steadily around us. The icy leaves provided somewhat of a barrier from most of it, but the cold droplets kept me present in the horror that was in front of me.

Dusk turned to dark as the rain continued to fall. Every time I thought I was out of tears, new ones seemed to find a way to fill my eyes. All I could do was stare at her and think, I failed you.

She'd been still for a long time – too long. I didn't understand what was happening.

"She'll really wake up?" I asked Jake finally, breaking my silence.

He was still in human form, pacing around the clearing. He nodded. "It might take a few days, but-"

He paused mid-sentence, his eyes flashing to Lexi. I glanced down quickly, my breath catching in my throat. Her fingers moved. I stared down at them in disbelief, willing it to happen again.

"Lex?" I gasped, my voice hoarse.

Her fingers twitched again, making me reach out and grasp her hand. She yanked it away with surprising force and they were suddenly both balled into fists. A short, struggling gasp came from her mouth, followed by a sharp intake of breath. A panicked whimper came next, followed by a jolting shudder down her back. Her heart began to speed up. I glanced up, meeting Jake's eyes, then Embry's, then Seth's.

"What's happening?" I pleaded. "Lexi? Lex, can you hear me?" I leaned over her, my hands going to her arms. She twitched again as I waited for her to respond.

Her eyes flew open into a lifeless stare. I felt the breath leave my chest with a loud whoosh as I stared down at her once-innocent gaze. Instead of a sea of blue, her ocean-like irises were now streaked with red. The whites of her eyes were stained a terrible pink, like she'd burst ever blood vessel she had. Her eyes were trained above her to the trees as her mouth fell open.

I jumped at the sound that came out. The most terrible, blood-curdling scream I'd ever heard came ripping from her throat, cutting through the silence. It echoed through the trees and bounced off of every surface a thousand times. Or maybe that was just me. My hands flew to my ears as I felt myself crumpled to the ground.

The noise was like a dagger to the heart. It was filled with more agony and pain than I could have ever imagined was possible. My questions were answered – the venom was working, probably tearing through her system and causing excruciating pain with every passing second.

She screamed again, the noise sounding dry and desperate like it was the last possible noise she could stand to make. But she continued. I felt myself crack miserably as another sob wracked my body. Lexi howled in pain, the noise of her cries more than I could bear.

"Lex," I heard myself whimper. My head in my hands, I heard my pack brothers around me as the noise took effect on them.

"Lexi baby… I'm so sorry," I managed to choke.

I jumped when she cried out again, her mouth snapping closed as she began to clench her teeth. The air hissed in and out of her jaws as she began to breathe. The noise sounded strained and painful as she balled her fists tighter and tighter. Just when I thought I couldn't take any more, she stilled. Her heart sped up in her chest. I could only hope that whatever pain she was experiencing had made her black out.

I heard Zeke growl. Jake stamped his foot, shaking his head. They heard it before I did – vampires. I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up as I prepared to defend Lexi against whatever else was out there in the black woods.

Seth held up his hand in caution – I stared at him as he listened carefully. He finally exhaled, nodding slightly.

"It's Edward… and…"

He trailed off, visibly confused. I stared into the darkness and waited for the mind-reading Cullen to appear. He appeared in the clearing like a pale bolt of lightning. Seconds later, the blonde female appeared next to him, her eyes already wild. She tossed her blonde hair over her shoulder and raised her nose into the air with a defiant gaze around the circle of wolves.

"Rose," he breathed. "Edward," he greeted urgently, striding forward. He grasped the vampire's hand before nodding at him. I watched him firmly grasp the pale white hand as if Edward was one of his own. But he wasn't, I reminded myself. He's a vampire, just like the one who turned her…

Edward's eyes flashed to mine. I forgot he could hear my thoughts – not that I cared. I had other things on my mind.

He wasted no time. In another flash he was kneeling at Lexi's opposite side, his strange golden eyes trained on the gash in her neck. His sister peered over his shoulder, her gaze suddenly unreadable.

I swallowed my pride and asked the question burning in my gut.

"Can you… stop it?" I asked, "The venom?"

Edward looked up at me, his gaze somber. He paused a moment before shaking his head of unruly bronzed hair. "The Venom is too far along to change it. She's already changing."

I shuddered, nodding in understanding. My tears fell again, this time too quickly for me to wipe away or try to stop. It didn't matter anymore really. Lexi was not only gone, she was going to be one of them. She was going to turn into one of the very monsters who had ripped her life from her. The moment he'd bitten her and tossed her from the tree tops replayed over and over in my mind as I fought to forget. I gripped her hand and held it to my face.

I'm so sorry I failed you, I thought.

"You shouldn't…touch her," he muttered softly, his eyes flicking up to meet mine. He glanced at his sister, who nodded in agreement.

I growled before I could think.

What's it to you? I thought.

I jolted when Lexi screamed gain. The noise was cut off with a gurgling sound that made us all wince. Whatever was happening to her had to be so excruciating it was difficult to even imagine.

"Don't tell me how to treat my imprint!" I snapped. I didn't want to snap and growl and sob over her body, but I felt so exhausted and broken with grief that I didn't know what to do anymore. I didn't know how to help her, or what to say or do that would make this living hell any better.

"You're hurting her," Edward explained gently – far nicer than I would have said it. He stood, walking over to Seth.

I stilled, my mind racing. "You… you can hear her, can't you?"

"Yes."

Edward could hear Lexi's mind.

"What… does she know? What happened to her?"

"She's drifting in and out. She doesn't realize what happened. There's not much we can do now but wait."

I hung my head. "Is she… is she in pain?"

I didn't miss the look exchanged between Edward and his sister – like they knew what was happening, and it was all too terribly horrible to even talk about. That wasn't what I needed to hear.

"Yes. The venom is traveling through her body right now, burning out all of her human cells. The process is…"

"Excruciating," Rosalie cut in. She stepped closer to Lexi, kneeling down next to her. I'd known of the blonde vampire now for over a decade, but my interaction with her had been close to nonexistent before tonight. She was one of the Cullens who made herself scarce when the pack was around, and it wasn't hard to tell why. She looked less than comfortable to be surrounded by a pack of us but strangely… she looked up to the challenge. Seth had always admitted to me that even with the different Cullens' talents and gifts, Rosalie was the one he was the most frightened of, and he could never put his finger on why. Now seeing her up close, I could understand.

Like the rest of her family, she was poised and flawless, her icy white skin void of any imperfections. Her features were perfectly symmetrical and aligned as if she'd been carved from marble. Her golden eyes held a sharp fierceness that made me afraid to hold her gaze for more than a few seconds.

Rosalie ran the tips of her fingers down Lexi's arm, her eyes suddenly mournful. Lexi whimpered softly at the touch, but remained otherwise still on the damp ground.

"I remember every detail," she said slowly, her melodic voice stoic and calm. "To burn like this is… something she'll never forget."

I felt rage for Lexi's pain bubble up in my chest again. What was her point? Was she only here so we could take a stroll down memory lane?

"So why are you here, Blondie? If I remember correctly, sensitivity isn't exactly your style."

Her head flashed up, a warning growl filling the space between us. "I know what this is like, dog!" she growled at me. I heard her powerful teeth snap in response as she stared at me with her cold glare. I watched her turn back to Lexi, carefully reaching down to move a piece of hair from my imprint's face. Normally I would snap at Rosalie for touching her, but I was paralyzed, to be honest.

"I know what it's like to have your life ripped away from you," she whispered, her voice newly calm. "I know what it's like to have it tossed aside like a piece of trash for someone else's revenge."

She sighed, leaning back on her heels. She stared across Lexi's body at me, her eyes trained on mine. I couldn't look away.

"I know what this is like," she whispered again, her eyes flicking down to stare at Lexi.

I swallowed my pride.

"Can you help her? That's all I care about."

Rosalie glanced at Edward, the two of them seeming to have some sort of silent conversation.

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose and glanced at Lexi's body. "I can hear her mind. She's fighting the pain right now, but… we can help her in any way we can. To ease the change."

I stared at my lifeless imprint. All hope seemed lost. But now the question was, can I let the Cullens step in and help Lexi in ways I couldn't? Did I trust them with my imprint, even if she was going to be one of them?"

Rosalie shifted, rising to stand. "Will you let us help her?"

I stared at her. "You swear you'll help her get through this?"

The blonde vampire's eyes seemed to tear up, but I knew that had to be impossible. She nodded, smiling sadly. Her gaze shifted to Lexi.

"This girl… this girl was me… I know what it's like to have your life taken from you… at the very start of it. Before you've even lived. I know what it's like to wake up a…" she trailed off, shaking her head with emotion.

I could barely nod.

Rosalie knelt, carefully scooping up Lexi's body with the care of a loved one. I watched, powerless, as she cradled Lexi's head in her steely hands like a baby. Before I could blink, she had taken off.

Edward looked after her, his mouth opening in surprise at his sister's speed. "Can we set up at your house?"

Seth nodded. "Of course. You don't have to ask."

"Thank you," the vampire responded shortly.

"No," Seth sighed, "Thank you. We couldn't do this without you Edward. Rose too."

Things happened quickly then. The pack began to move, everyone antsy for the next step. I swallowed. My throat was raw. In a few days we would have a newborn vampire on our hands.

My hands shook. Lexi would be a vampire.

"We'll take her to the house, and get her cleaned up. Carlisle will be here in a few hours. He's done this many times Brady, with his own children. We can help her."

I glanced at him, trying to reign in the raw emotions fighting to bubble up. I wanted to lash out, to scream, to phase and go hunt down that miserable leech who did this to her and rip him to pieces. Edward stepped closer to me, giving me an understanding nod. He'd heard me.

"Thank you," I muttered. Edward turned in the direction of his house. Before he could disappear, I held out my arm.

"Wait!" I pleaded, my hand meeting the icy marble beneath his sweater. I blanched, pulling my hand back in surprise.

"Yes?"

"Can I…" I trailed off, unable to find the words. Can I be there with her? I want to be there when she wakes up. I need to see her make it through this… if I could just see her open her eyes one more time, I…

Edward stared at me, reading my mind whether I wanted him to or not. I felt raw as he picked through my brain and memories of the day.

"It would be a risk. You are… are all, human."

I snorted. "Fuck the risk. I want to be there. Will… will she know me?"

As the rest of the pack turned to head towards the Cullen house where Seth had been living, it was soon just the two of us. I hastily tied my shorts to my leg and waited for his answer.

"It's hard to tell what's leftover sometimes. But most likely, yes."

"Do you know… what will happen?"

Edward nodded, shrugging. "She'll wake up. Alice will be here soon, and she can tell us more. Come to the house with us and just… sit with her awhile," he seemed to say against his better judgment.

I glanced around the empty forest and tried to figure out what to do. Did I go and listen to her burn? Or did I start the hunt for revenge tonight?"

Edward reached out to touch my shoulder. "Come back with us. We'll get to that," he said calmly. "That's a promise."

I gave him a nod before phasing. I followed him through the woods, my long wolf legs struggling to keep up with his speed. We arrived at the Cullens house a short time later, and things were already in motion.


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32: Planning The End

Brady

An hour later, it was still dark out. I stood in the corner of the Cullen library as Rosalie and Edward flashed about the room with dizzying speed getting ready for Carlisle's arrival. I slid into a hard chair next to the floor to ceiling windows, watching with glazed eyes as they began to work on Lexi.

"Here," Rosalie said, thrusting a syringe into Edward's hands.

He gave her a questioning look. These two had me utterly befuddled. They spoke in hushed whispers too quiet for almost my ears. It took me almost twenty minutes to figure out that Edward's grunts and small noises were answers to Rosalie's internal thoughts as they moved about the room.

"It's worth a try. It could help ease the pain."

Edward nodded, inserting the needle into Lexi's arm. I watched him pump her full of something I could only hope would ease her suffering. He carefully stuck her still tan skin several times, in several different places. Rosalie pulled her hair into a messy ponytail, barely pausing to roll up her sleeves. Her pale, expensive looking blouse was already ruined with Lexi's blood – the blonde vampire hadn't even paused or flinched to pick up my bloodied, mangled imprint. I wondered how much restraint that had taken her. I studied her as she worked – she didn't appear to be in any sort of pain or discomfort from abstaining from Lexi's blood. Huh. She must actually want to help her, I realized. A basin of ice water appeared and she began running a cloth of cold water up and down Lexi's arms. Rosalie had cut her clothes off of her before I'd arrived, donning Lexi's lifeless body in a blue hospital gown.

At some point soon after, I let my head rest against the cool glass of the window and my eyes drifted closed.

I could only hope I would wake from the nightmare that was suddenly all I knew.

"She likes that. I can… she's starting to think a little clearer now," Edward muttered. I jerked my head up, licking my lips. Rosalie was still bathing Lexi in cold water. I couldn't see Lexi's face, but the blonde hair hanging off the side of the operating table that had suddenly appeared in the middle of the room looked freshly washed. Her skin was clean of all the blood, and her arms were resting across her stomach. Her heart still beating faintly in her chest.

Thump…thump…..thump.

I sighed. She was struggling. The smell of bleach hung in the air, making me want to gag.

Edward glanced over at me, realizing I was awake. "We don't want her to smell any blood. Even the scent of her own will set her into a frenzy," he answered.

I nodded as Seth stepped through the door. He looked as tired and weary as I felt. He went straight to Edward's side.

"When will Alice be here?"

Edward glanced at the clock. "She sent me a text a while ago… about twenty minutes now. They went to get… supplies before we left. Said they'd meet us here."

"The whole family?"

Edward nodded.

I sat up. "What do you mean, 'supplies'?"

Edward turned to me, his golden eyes calm. "It might help her to have some blood right away. Might make her less apt to do something… rash," he answered quietly.

Like murder the whole town, I thought darkly. As soon as the thought entered my mind, I felt ashamed for it. The imprinted, somehow romantic side of me was trying to reason that she would wake up. Lexi was going to open her eyes, and yes, she wouldn't be herself, but she would at least speak to me again. But she'll be a monster, the rational side argued. She'll be one of them. She'll hunt and kill and drain things. She'll smell like them and think like them, and she'll never be warm again.

I focused on her heartbeat. It was still slow and struggling. I didn't have any idea how much time had passed since the bite or even how long her transformation would take, but it all felt like a lifetime. I felt utterly clueless and helpless. My imprint would be a new species, and I wouldn't even be able to help her. Even if she was a monster, what would that do to our imprint bond? I'd been pinned down with my shock and grief, I hadn't even paused to consider what all this meant. I didn't know though – if there wasn't a book on imprinting, then there certainly wasn't a book on what to do when your imprint was turned into a vampire against her will.

I slumped against the window and watched Rosalie work across the room. She adjusted the hospital gown Lexi now wore. Reaching over, she gently moved her other hand to rest on her stomach, pausing to pat it lightly. She really was being careful with her – I respected her for that, for what it was worth.

"It's moving out of her veins," Edward murmured sometime later. I straightened up again, peering towards the operating table. Rosalie stood vigil on one side while Edward stood at the end of the table, watching her closely. "It's settling into her tissues."

"Carlisle thinks the bones repair last," Rosalie chimed in, noticing I was staring. I nodded, gazing at Lexi's profile. She didn't look any different yet – just bruised and slightly paler than normal.

Seth looked over at me. "Are you okay?"

I grunted, not taking my eyes off of Lexi.

"We can talk, you know," he offered. "If you want to."

I had to send Seth away shortly before dawn. His questions about feelings and pacing were making me crazy, so I told him to go do what I no longer could – go be with his imprint. He left with little coaxing, as any imprinted wolf would. I felt another stab of pain in my heart. I could already feel a void where Lexi used to be.

The rest of the Cullens arrived in a whirlwind just as the light was starting to creep through the trees. It was hard to tell – the weather was still dark and gloomy, and it was a typical short winter day with longer hours of darkness. But they arrived nonetheless in a bustle of activity and their signature hushed voices and movements so fast they looked like the Flash.

Carlisle appeared in front of me, his steely hands taking mine before I could protest.

"I'm sorry this happened to you, son," he said gently, his golden eyes calm. "We'll get her through this. We're prepared."

Esme offered me a kind smile as her husband darted off, appearing at Lexi's side. I watched him run his fingertips up and down her arms, assessing Lexi's injuries.

"She isn't as bad as I was," Esme murmured to me.

I looked up at her in surprise. "Were you… attacked?" I asked. I didn't know proper vampire etiquette. Was it impolite to ask them how they were turned? I felt like a fool assuming most of them were turned by choice.

Edward glanced at me. "Only Bella," he answered my thought.

Esme glanced at her son, then back at me. "No… suicide. Carlisle found me in the morgue. Heart still beating, just barely," she sighed, shaking her head. I fought back a shudder as she spoke so calmly about apparently attempting suicide and barely escaping being buried alive. So matter of fact. "I was much worse than Lexi. She'll make it."

Emmett appeared next. "And we'll find the one who did this to her," he grunted. He shared a pointed look with Edward. I heard several growls echo around the room, and I realized I was very much alone in a house full of vampires. Friendly or not, I still wasn't going to leave Lexi here alone with them. I hid a wry smile. Maybe this was my normal now.

Edward nodded to Emmett, and the two turned to me. "Come upstairs. We need to talk."

Carlisle looked to Rosalie and Esme. "Can you watch her? Call me if anything changes."

I reluctantly followed the doctor and the other two upstairs to the kitchen. Seth had been living here for years, but somehow with all of them in, it again felt like it was their home. I settled onto a stool at the counter as Alice appeared in the doorway carrying a white box.

"I can see her," she sighed, her amber eyes vacant. Her husband, the creepy one, materialized next to her and gingerly took the box out of her hand. I watched with an open mouth as he began pulling bags of blood out of it and stacking them neatly in the refrigerator.

She eyed me. "I must be getting better. It only took him coming upstairs to get a clear picture."

I frowned. I wasn't in the mood for cryptic talk. "What?"

She sighed, her vision going hazy again like she was seriously spacing out. "I see vampires because I am one, I sort of see humans because I was one, and I can't see wolves because you're a different breed with which I have no common ground," she sighed, explaining it like she'd said it a thousand times. She waved her hand and took a seat beside me like we were old friends. "You've been hovering around her for hours now, I couldn't see past you. But now that you're upstairs I can see her…" she trailed off. "I'm getting better at this wolf thing, you know," she said pointedly at Carlisle.

He shrugged at her like she was a child bragging about an art project before turning back to me.

"Jasper has been doing some work overnight," he began. I glanced over at the scar-riddled, mood-changing vampire in the corner of the kitchen. He nodded at me, and I nodded curtly back. What did he have to do with this?

Edward took his place beside Carlisle. "He was securing your alibi from yesterday."

I froze.

"What… what? My… what do you mean?"

The Cullens all shared an uncomfortable look while they waited for me to piece together the meaning of what my needing an alibi meant.

"People will realize I was the last person to be seen with her. They'll think I killed her."

Carlisle nodded. "I'm very sorry. But we thought this was the last thing you'd' want to get caught up in right now."

I was suddenly fighting the urge to cry again. Tears burned at the backs of my eyelids as I thought about what that meant. People were going to think that I was some psycho boyfriend who did something sick to her. They would think I murdered Lexi.

I hung my head. "Do her parents know yet?"

Edward shook his head. "Seth is at the station right now waiting for us to reach out to him. He's going to help us make sure this all goes smoothly."

"Smoothly?" I snapped. I bit back tears. "Like how?"

How could the faked murder of my girlfriend go smoothly?

Edward looked at Carlisle for help. The patriarch gave me a woeful look. "Bella had Renesmee help her this morning before Lexi's parents woke. They broke into the house, took a few of her possessions, and forged a note. They made it look like she was leaving. They left it open – to maybe look like a suicide, or maybe just that she was running away."

I stared at him. "What? Why would they do that? That doesn't even make sense, it-"

"They had to," Edward argued. "It was the only way we could figure out to make your alibi work. If they think she was killed or murdered somehow, the first person they go after is you. Excuse us for thinking that might be the last possible thing you'd want right now."

"But Lexi was a happy person. She would never have just… left her problems. That's not her," I argued back. I thought of how happy she was – how stubborn and headstrong. There was no way her dad and Patrick would buy that story. Unless they thought I'd made her unhappy? Or that she'd gone back to her mom's in California? I thought back in my mind, scanning every inch of my brain that I could still get to function at this point. I remembered all the times she'd talked to me about her parents' divorce, the fights, and the humiliation her mom had endured when her father had come out. I remembered her telling me her dad felt guilty for taking her with him to Forks and leaving her mother behind. Lexi did feel bad about not being there for her little brothers, but… it still didn't make sense. She wouldn't have been unhappy enough to just leave. I met Edward's eyes – he'd definitely heard my thoughts.

They won't buy it, I insisted. Lexi was a happy person. She wouldn't have abandoned her life at the drop of a hat.

"We've arranged for someone to come forward with an alibi if you should need it," Carlisle continued.

I looked up at them, frowning. "Arranged? Do I want to know?"

The Creepy one spoke. "Over the years I've come to know a gentleman in Seattle that can make anything possible given the right amount of funding. Let's just say… we had the right amount to offer him to make this happen."

I snorted. "So what, am I like in your debt now?"

Carlisle blanched slightly, his eyes hard. "An innocent life has been taken, changed forever. Money is no object here. You owe us nothing for this. We can disappear in less than a day. You have a life to live. If we've learned anything here today, it's that life is precious."

He didn't stutter. I swallowed back my anger and nodded at him. "I'm sorry, I'm just… this is new to me."

He gave me a nod and looked to Edward. "What does Brady need to do to ensure this all goes smoothly?"

Edward uncrossed his arms, giving me a focused stare. "Alice went back to First Beach with Jacob where you parked your truck yesterday morning and got your phone and your vehicle and brought them here. She sent texts to Lexi's phone a few hours ago with it that looked like they were from you – we made it look like you dropped Lexi off back at home before her dad or Patrick got home yesterday. Seth is going to say you were here with him all night, having a guy's night with a few others."

"The pack will back me up," I sighed. The faces of Seth, Jake, Embry, and Quil all flashed in my mind. In hard times like these, I knew I could count on them. I leaned back in the chair. "So when the police check her phone records…"

Edward nodded again. "You need to text her this morning and ask how her night was. Ask why you haven't heard from her. Bella is going to drive the phone to Seattle today, send one final message to look like it's from Lexi, then destroy the phone. That way she'll still appear alive, but you'll be in the clear. Her family will think she's disappeared."

I slouched against the back of the barstool and stared down at the granite countertop. It all seemed to well planned, so official. They made it look easy to explain a missing person, a missing life. But that's the thing - none of this was easy.

I felt exhausted, my stomach churning, like I might throw up.

I went back down to the library one more time to see Lexi. She looked the same – slightly pale, bruised, and clammy. Dead, I thought. If it weren't for the quiet whimpers and occasional twitch, she looked dead.

Alice handed me my phone as I stared at my imprint. She was so still.

"Send a few now before more time passes," she urged. "It's early yet. In a few hours, go to her house and tell her dad you haven't heard from her and you're worried," she finished, her voice purely business. I studied her as she talked – Alice was tiny, poised, and looked visibly calm and unshaken. I felt unhinged next to her.

My fingers shook as I took my phone from her and typed out a few normal text messages to Lexi's phone.

Alice stood beside me, her strange golden eyes watching and nodding in approval before I hit 'send' on each one.

"Now go get some rest in one of the guestrooms. You can shower there, and I'll lay out fresh clothes for you before you go to her house."

She turned back to Lexi, patting her hand and focusing on the clock. What did she see?

I could only grunt in response. The weight of the day, mixed with fatigue, grief, and shock was finally wearing on me. I looked at Lexi again and tried to let it sink in that she would wake up.

"Alice?" I asked, my voice hoarse with exhaustion.

She turned back around blinked at me. "Yes?"

I swallowed. "She'll… she'll make it?"

Alice offered me a weak smile. "She will. I'll know more when you leave… I'll be able to see better and definitely give you a time, but… yes, she'll live."

The slight confirmation helped. "Okay. Will… do you think she'll still be my imprint? If she's not… human?"

Her amber eyes grew sad for a moment before she shrugged. "I honestly don't know," she sighed. "We've never… this hasn't happened before."

I nodded and headed back up the stairs out of the library. I heard her call out my name as I reached the top.

"Brady?"

I paused, turning to look at her. "Yeah?"

She glanced back at Lexi, then up at me. "I don't know what will happen. She'll wake up, but she won't be… the same. I want you to know that. She'll still be Lexi, but she'll also be a newborn vampire. Our treaty and new family ties to the pack are something we respect and value, but… she won't be herself for a while. The only thing she'll have is her instincts. Our trust with you is learned. You have to remember – we were, at one point… enemies."

I nodded, the tightness in my throat returning. "How long do we have?"

Alice glanced at the clock in the wall, then back at Lexi. "She'll wake at dawn on the third day. A little over forty eight hours from now, she'll open her eyes," she replied, her tiny voice quiet.

In just over two days, Lexi would wake. And in two days, she would be a newborn vampire.


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33: Another Life

Brady

For as upset as I was, sleep found me easily once my head hit the pillow. It was a dreamless, heavy sleep that held me under in an almost stranglehold. Before I knew it, a firm hand was shaking me awake.

Jake stared down at me. For a moment I forgot he couldn't age – his face looked as worn as an old man, with deep lines and a three day beard. His jaw was tense and his eyes were hard as he spoke. "It's time."

He handed me some new clothes and my cell phone. I checked the time – not a lot had passed. I'd only been asleep for a few hours, but already felt a hundred times better. That is, until I sat up and realized why I was at Seth's house in the first place. Sleep had given me a miniscule respite from the nightmare. Lexi was downstairs, still burning with the change. That hadn't been a nightmare – my imprint was turning.

"How is she?"

Jake shrugged. "No major changes. Yet. Carlisle thinks the venom will repair her neck and her spine any minute now. He said until that happens, most of the exterior stuff will come last. He said the appearance is the last part to change."

I nodded. He grunted in the direction of the shower and only then did I realize I was still covered in Lexi's dried blood and mud. I stood under the streams of hot water until my skin felt like it was going to melt away from my bones.

After showering and dressing, I found my truck that Alice had put in the driveway. Alice stood with Esme in the doorway, her golden eyes unfocused.

"You'll be fine…I…think?" she sighed. "Just try to act normal. Concerned."

"You're so strong," Esme murmured softly as I walked past them out the front door. "Show it now, Brady."

I faltered a step at her words. Was I strong? Could I do this? I was going to Lexi's house and face her dad and Patrick and act like I didn't know their daughter was missing. How in the world was I going to pull this off? My confidence was waning. Before I could even open the door to the truck, my knees bent and I wretched in the driveway. My body wouldn't obey as I tried to pull it together. No, it was insistent on purging. I wasn't off to a good start. I spat into the ferns on the side of the Cullen driveway and winced at the taste of bile in my throat.

When I got to her house, I had to remember not to falter. The Cullens had been so careful, so meticulous in their planning to make sure I looked innocent in all of this that I knew I couldn't falter now. Patrick opened the door, his ashen face showing what he already knew. I followed him into the kitchen where Lexi's father was clutching her note in his hand. He held it out to me to read with a shaky hand.

"Did you know about this?" he asked, his voice quiet.

I read the note, not even realizing until halfway through that this was the note Bella had forged in Lexi's neat, rounded handwriting. The words barely registered in my mind as my eyes scanned each line. I was in a daze. I needed to keep it together or not only would I have lost Lexi, but I would be placed in the middle of a possible disappearance investigation I had no chance of talking my way out of.

I blamed myself for what happened to my imprint. Lexi was on the other side of Forks right now, vampire venom from that horrible monster burning through her. And yes, that was technically my fault. I'd tried to stop it, and I'd failed. But I would have never done anything to hurt her, and I knew that. But if the fingers were pointed at me for whatever reason in this whole thing, what could I say? Did I risk explaining the supernatural and exposing what we were, just to keep my own tail safe? No, I knew that wasn't an option. So what was? I knew my only hope was to keep myself calm and believable and stick to the story Alice had reiterated to me at least twice before I'd left.

"Call the police. Now," I urged, my voice firm. "They might be able to stop her before she gets too far from Forks."

They both jumped up from where they sat, racing to the phone. Within minutes the Forks PD was in the driveway, Charlie Swan hurrying to the door. Seth walked in behind him, nodding solemnly at me.

"Patrick… we'll find her," Charlie assured him gruffly. "Lexi's a good kid. Smart. She'll be fine, and we'll get her home."

"This isn't like her Charlie. This isn't something she would do," her father insisted. He turned to me, his face drawn of all color. "You had to know something," he said to me. "My daughter wouldn't just leave."

I didn't have to fake the emotion in my voice. "I know," I replied. "We'll find her."

I spent the next six hours with Ian, Patrick and Charlie, the three of us going over and over the stories of the last time we'd seen Lexi. Seth returned to the station to alert Seattle and all the other neighboring counties of Lexi's disappearance even though it hadn't technically been long enough. Ian was desperate to find his daughter, and I couldn't blame him. If I still thought there was a chance of saving her, I would have done anything.

But I knew better than to think Lexi was still able to be saved.

It was just before six when Charlie clapped me on the shoulder. "Best to head home, son. Nothing more we can do. Just let us know if you hear from her."

"I will Chief," I nodded solemnly. Standing, I walked over to where Patrick and Ian were sitting at the kitchen counter, looking numb. I looked them both in the eye and didn't hide the tears that threatened to fall.

"I love her, and I'll do whatever it takes to bring her back," I said. "Please believe me when I say… I didn't see this coming. I love her with everything I have and…" I bit back a sob. Patrick squeezed my shoulder and Ian could only nod. I headed back to the Cullen house barely hanging on. When I pulled in the driveway, it looked no different than it did before. The tall, modern looking house that used to belong to the vampire family was bright with lights on with blinds open, but everything was completely still. Seth's Bronco was nowhere to be seen. I would have to go in alone.

Inside, I found Esme in the kitchen where the smell of a roast greeted my nostrils. She peered around the corner as I entered, offering me a timid smile.

"Everything go okay? Alice couldn't see," she explained with a shrug. I paused at the counter and eyed the crock pot sitting on the counter.

"As well as it could. Charlie came over and took statements, and Seth put out the word that she's… gone," I swallowed. "Just said what Alice told me to, word for word."

"That's probably best," she nodded. "Hungry?"

I wanted to say no and turn my nose up at her cooking, but my gurgling stomach stopped me. "I need to see her first."

Turning to leave, I paused at the counter where a sleek laptop lay open. A browser displaying a fancy looking array of an online clothing boutique stared back at me. "Is that… for her?"

Esme glanced at the open computer and nodded. "I took the clothes Rose had to cut off of her and tried to figure out some sizes. I thought she might need a few pairs of clean clothes when she wakes up. She might spoil a few a first, so… I thought… it might help."

I wanted to thank her. I wanted to express the gratitude I felt towards her family during this time of uncertainty and chaos in my life, but I couldn't. The raw emotion and exhaustion from the past few days just boiled up in my throat, effectively sealing it closed. I had to turn and leave.

Esme would forgive me – or at least I hoped she would. I replayed her kind words over and over in my head as I walked down the stairs into the library where Lexi still lay on the table. I played out different scenarios in my head where I would have said the right thing – the polite thing. Instead I'd just choked back more pitiful tears and run away with my tail between my legs, so to speak. I paused at the bottom of the steps – Edward was sitting upright on one of the rolling stools, his back rigid. His eyes met mine, and I knew he'd heard my thoughts. He nodded.

Rosalie turned to glance at me over her shoulder, but otherwise paid me no attention. Her mate, Emmett, was pacing in front of the windows. The rest were nowhere to be seen.

"Bella took Jasper and Alice into town. They're sitting down the street from the police station, keeping an eye on things. Without wolves around them, Alice can see what they're doing," he explained.

Carlisle appeared in the doorway, his knowing gaze meeting mine. "We'll know what they're thinking that way. So far, your alibi is holding steady. Alice says they don't suspect you or foul play."

"That's… good," I muttered, my eyes finally resting on Lexi. She was still – very still. Moving closer, I realized that the changes of the venom were slowly taking effect. My heart sank even further in my chest as I realized this was really it. No turning back. Lexi was going to wake up in a day and a half and be a complete vampire. Her lingering tan was gone – her skin had paled slightly, although it wasn't as white as the rest of the Cullens yet. Her cuts and bruises were almost completely healed, as was the crescent shaped bite on her neck. The abrasions from her fall from the treetop were still visible but instead of angry gashes and scrapes she simply had raised pink lines.

"The venom will heal her. Every scar, every cut, every freckle or imperfection… gone," Rosalie sighed, reaching over to smooth Lexi's hair.

"Her eyes?" I asked. "She… in the woods," I stuttered, picturing the way her ocean-like irises had been stained with blood when she'd opened them to scream in horror. "They were red."

"Newborns," Carlisle explained, walking over. He tossed a handful of bloodied rags into a silver trash can on the floor and lit a match, holding it to the pile. "I'm sure you'll remember their eyes… are red. Their own blood lingers in their tissues, then with a steady diet of human blood, it… keeps them red. A darker, richer red. Lexi's will be practically glowing red when she wakes."

"I remember," I muttered, picturing the newborn army we'd fought. Well, I didn't fight. I'd been just a pup at the time, freshly phased and barely in control of myself. I'd stayed home with Collin at the Alpha order of Sam. That didn't matter though – the guys had replayed their memories of the horrific sight of several dozen newborns racing at them with lightning speed enough over the years that I felt like the memory was my own.

Carlisle's voice broke my thoughts. "Then should Lexi… decide to inherit our choice in diet, her eyes will slowly turn ochre, then slowly fade into a less noticeable amber," he explained in a scientific tone. "The lighter color draws less attention, and with control and practice she might even be able to go out into society again."

"Lucky society," I muttered to myself. "That's to say if she doesn't slaughter all of Forks and half of La Push."

My mind tried to conjure up a picture of Lexi with blood red eyes and sheet-white skin, her fangs drenched in the blood of helpless victims. It was difficult to picture her like that, but I did it before I could stop myself.

Edward let out a quiet growl. "We don't have fangs," he sniped.

Carlisle shot him a warning look.

Edward straightened and took a short breath, regaining his composure. "We don't have fangs, and neither will she. We will do everything in our power to help her when she wakes, and that includes taking every precaution to get her to transition without risking any innocent lives."

Carlisle nodded, his gaze returning to Lexi. "Edward is right. We plan to keep Alice close by to watch her decisions, and Emmett and Rose have already agreed to escort Lexi everywhere she goes. Edward will be able to hear her thoughts and warn us should they turn…ravenous," he said tightly, "and with the help of the rest of the family, I believe we can turn this around."

I felt my chest tighten. "How could we turn this around?" I demanded. "If we could, that fucking monster would be burnt to a crisp and my imprint would still be a human!" I snarled, bringing my first down on the metal medical cart next to me. The crack echoed in the large room. Rosalie rolled her eyes, Edward pinched the bridge of his nose, and Carlisle barely flinched.

I glanced down at the dented metal beneath my fist. "I'm sorry. I just… this is a lot."

Rosalie's head snapped up. "Yeah? How do you think she'll feel when she wakes up?"

"Rose…" Edward warned.

Her yellow eyes latched onto mine and held. "No, he needs to hear this, Edward. When Lexi wakes up, her entire world will be completely shifted. Nothing will look the same, feel the same, or be the same," she snapped. Her voice cracked slightly as she took my imprint's hand. "She's going to be scared and out of control and confused. She won't ever be able to see her family again – ever. She's going to wake up in a houseful of strangers but feel completely alone."

I watched Rosalie as she glanced out the windows towards the darkening forest. "She's going to wake in a day and a half, Brady. She needs people to be strong for her because she won't be able to concentrate on anything but how different her world suddenly is and… and how much she'll want to kill."

I blinked at Rosalie's last word. My eyes shifted to Lexi, who was still motionless on the table. Every now and then her hand or foot would twitch, but she was otherwise a statue. Lexi wasn't a killer – she didn't have a mean bone in her body. Maybe a stubborn one or a sarcastic one, but never murderous.

"That won't matter," Edward cut in, interrupting my thoughts. "Until she gets herself under control, her strongest personality trait will be her thirst."

I thought back to his wife when she woke. We were all so amazed at her control. What about her? I thought.

"Bella went into it prepared. She knew what she was getting into; she was ready. Focused. She knew what she would be. Lexi is just going to wake after a traumatic experience that she may or may not even remember, and she's going to be a vampire. You have to remember that, Brady. As much as it hurts you right now, you have to remember what she'll be."

How could I forget? I thought, glancing around the room. All four of them watched me closely. I just couldn't picture Lexi as one of them.

"I'm going for a run. Maybe then the fortune telling vampy can see Lexi clearly if I'm not here," I snapped. Giving Lexi one last glance, I brushed past the doctor and towards the library doors as fast as my feet would carry me. Once outside, I took a running leap off the porch and phased in the air. I barely heard my shredded clothes hitting the ground as I tore off into the forest.

I found myself running until I was actually unsure of where I was. I knew I'd run further than this before – probably when I was pissed off at my dad about something or if one of the guys had said something stupid to set me off. I hadn't raced off so far North in a long time. There was something about having a temper tantrum that just said run. Get out. Go far from here. Run until nothing matters anymore.

But it had been ages ago that I'd felt this lost and angry. Sure, I was still a jealous, short-tempered, mouthy, egotistical asshole, but I rarely let my rage get the better of me anymore.

Since I'd met Lexi, I realized.

I slowed to a trot, the chilly winter air barely cutting through my thick coat. Lowering my nose to the ground, I gave it a fleeting sniff to try to scent out where I was or if there were any vampires around. I wasn't actively hunting after Lexi's killer, but I wouldn't turn down a chance to run into him.

Nothing. Just damp, cold earth.

I ambled through the thick woods, my mind running in circles. Some of the other guys back home were patrolling the town, running extra shifts around Forks and La Push in case the scumbag came back. I could hear them through our linked minds, but they felt miles away.

I found a spot overlooking a small inlet and slid to the ground. The wintery wind whipped around the rocky shoreline below, but my fur kept me from feeling the brunt of it. I'd been running all night – aimlessly navigating the dense forest of who knows where. I was avoiding the inevitable because I didn't know how to handle it. I was clueless enough about having an imprint it seemed, but having an imprint that was turned into a vampire? I didn't even know how to begin to understand how to handle that.

If I even could.

There was Jake and Ness, but she had been born a half-vampire and he'd imprinted on her as she was. Lexi was the first human imprint to be changed after everything had taken place. And I was assuming we still shared an imprint bond. I blinked, the realization fully setting in that our imprint bond was likely broken as her change became complete.

It was just as Alice had said – we were enemies. I honored our truce with the Cullens for the sake of peace and for Jake and Ness, but wolves and vampires were just supposed to hate each other. We were supposed to kill each other. I felt no remorse for hunting down and killing the vampires I'd managed to hunt over the years. They were monsters – murdering, awful, predatory monsters.

It was what Lexi would be in a few short hours. I felt my heart clench in my chest. I couldn't exactly have a watch in this form, but I figured it was close to dawn. In twenty four hours, Lexi would open her eyes and be reborn as an entirely different species, and I had no idea of what that would mean for us.

I knew there probably wouldn't be an 'us' anymore.

But that was probably for the best, right? What if the first thing she did when she woke up was run into town and slaughter a half the high school? What would I do when I had to hunt her down and kill her for doing what she had done?

My chest tightened again in the same way it did when I was missing Lexi. I still felt every urge imaginable to run back to the Cullen house and keep vigil by her side.

But I couldn't.

I needed to separate myself now, and get used to it. There was no way I could possibly have a newborn, bloodthirsty vampire for an imprint. I needed to face the fact that our bond was probably gone.

Oh, how I would miss her.

I closed my eyes and let the wind blow through my fur as I stared down at the water below. Memories of the all-too short a time we'd had together flew through my mind.

How pissed she was when I showed up at her prom.

The first time I'd caught her peering through the window at me while I worked.

Sneaking through her window.

How beautiful she was when she was angry, or frustrated, or just being Lexi.

I lowered my head. Her heartbeat.

I could imagine the sound in my mind, the steady thump thump thump that sometimes kept me sane. It was a constant; a steady noise of peaceful tranquility that I seemed to always hear when she was around. Of course I paid attention to everything else around me when we were together but her heartbeat was the calming white noise I relied on to keep my calm and always put her first.

In less than a day, it would be gone.

Without thinking, I was back on my feet. Slowly at first, one foot in front of the other – then I was running. No, flying. I was darting through the dark woods, my paws churning against the frozen mud of the forest floor.

I had to get back to her. I had to listen to her heartbeat one last time.

I slumped forward, resting my hands on my knees. Alice had warned me to stay away; she would be dangerous and she needed to see what she would do.

I believed her.

It had taken me several hours to run home from wherever I was. I had arrived back at the Cullen house to see Lexi again before she woke.

I wasn't ready for how different she looked.

Her tan was completely gone – her skin was pale and smooth, with every cut and bruise gone. The broken bones were whole again. The gash on her neck healed into a faint, silvery scar.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head into my hands. I'd been in shock after seeing her. Esme ushered me upstairs, fed me food I could barely taste, and urged me to try to get some sleep on the couch. I'd woken up in the late hours of the night and the looming fear of the unknown had kept me up ever since.

I could hear the Cullens getting ready. Esme was in the kitchen with Bella, the two of them debating how to give Lexi the bags of blood they had ready for her – in a cup, or through a straw? Edward, Emmett, and Jasper were in one corner of the library, ready to assist at any moment. I heard the doctor fiddling around with his instruments while Rosalie and Alice argued quietly about what clothes to dress Lexi in. Neither felt it was appropriate for her to wake up in a paper hospital gown, but they couldn't agree on what colors would suit her best.

Did it matter, I thought? She was going to wake up and be a different person. Did it really fucking matter what brand of designer jeans she was wearing when she made her first kill?

Bile rose in my throat at my treacherous thoughts.

Lexi might be a murderer in just a few short hours. What if she got past the Cullens? What if she had some horrible gift that allowed her to best them all and sneak into the town to kill people? I'd met gifted vampires before, around the time of the Volturi war. Some were interesting and even borderline amazing – others were so terrifying it was enough to keep you up at night.

My eyes lifted up as a car turned down the driveway. The light was visible through the trees – dawn was fast approaching. The rumbling of the car engine grew closer. Seth. I didn't really want company right now, but I guess it was sort of his house. He walked inside a few minutes later, his steps full of trepidation.

I didn't look up at him.

"They… they said it would be best if I wasn't there when she wakes up. Changed their minds. Said it was too dangerous for me to be in the room," I stated, answering his unspoken question.

Lexi's heart was pounding downstairs. I think I came more unhinged with every thump. It was getting quicker now – like her adrenaline was spiking. I just hoped she wasn't in pain much longer. She'd cried out a few times since I'd been back. It sounded painful.

"They?"

I nodded. "Yeah. The whole vampy clan is in there with her right now," I tried to explain, but the thumping of Lexi's heart just got louder and more desperate sounding with every pulse. "Jesus, can you hear that?" I heard myself whimper. I dipped my head and sucked in a shaky breath.

This was it. Lexi's time as a human was coming to a close – she was about to wake up.

Thump. Thump. Thump…

Seth paused, listening with me. I knew he heard it too – our sharp ears couldn't miss that. I sucked in another shaky breath, wringing my hands together. They were trembling too. All of the idle chatter and hushed whispers between the Cullens downstairs halted. The entire house was cloaked in silence, save for the sound of Lexi's frantically beating heart. It was beating impossibly fast now. I winced. A few tears slid down my cheeks.

"This is the last time… the last time I'll ever hear it," I explained, wiping at my eyes. "Her heart. Do you know what that sound does to me?" I asked him.

Seth sat down on the couch next to me, clapping my shoulder gently. He nodded. "It's calming."

I sniffed again and dipped my head. "When I was so angry and about to… d-do something stupid, she… the only thing that would calm me down sometimes was to listen to that. So steady… so beautiful," I whispered. My voice cracked with emotion.

"We're here for you," he said, rubbing my shoulder. I heard the front door open, and a few seconds later Embry appeared in the doorway. He took a seat on my opposite side, the two of them watching me closely. I let the tears fall – I didn't care anymore.

"It's gonna be okay," he offered calmly.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

I held my breath. I'd never heard her heartbeat so loud and frantic before. The house was so quiet and the sound of it was so loud… I had to squeeze my eyes shut.

Thump thump thump thump…

I focused on the sound, using my hearing to hone in on every detail. Every last beat.

There was a quick intake of breath – Lexi, I realized.

The last beat of her heart echoed in the silence.

Thump.

Then, nothing. My head flew up, the breath I'd been holding coming out in a rush of air.

It was over.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 35 – To Wake and to See

Lexi

"When she wakes, what do we tell her?"

"The truth. Tell her what happened – she needs to know."

"But she barely knew we existed before all of this happened to her. What will she think?"

"I didn't know either – I woke up not even knowing what I was."

"I know Alice, but you also woke up in a roadside ditch. We have the opportunity to educate her and introduce her to this slowly. We can guide her and help her along… what is it?"

"I just saw… it won't be long now. She's going to wake just after dawn. Not long at all."

I listened to the voices around me. They had drawn me out of the sea of pain I'd been trapped in for what felt like years. Everything was black and perfectly balanced on pins and needles in my mind. The pain was still agonizing, but it had dulled compared to what it had first been… what was that, days ago? Weeks? I couldn't be sure. All I knew was that I was anchored in the white-hot oblivion that had seemed to swallow me whole. I was still aware of the pain, but I'd almost become used to it. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I laughed. Used to pain? That didn't even sound like me. I was the girl that passed out when she got a flu shot. I wasn't exactly what you'd call 'tough'.

There were people near me, I realized. I felt like all I'd known was the scorching fire my entire life, up to this point, and everything happening around me was something fresh and entirely new. The pain was all I recognized, and the only thing I could remember.

But the woman… or was it a girl? She'd said it wouldn't be long. Her voice was small and childlike, but sounded somehow… all-knowing.

Someone touched my hand. My hand! I could feel it – it was painless. How had I missed that? My mind reeled at this new realization that a part of my body was somehow suddenly free of the excruciating flames.

When had that happened? How long had I been like this?

More touches – my feet! I could feel them as well! The hands were feather light as something rough was pulled up my legs. I winced as the pressure seemed to push the flames further into my bones. I remained as still as possible as the touches continued as I drifted in and out. It was difficult to pay attention as I suddenly became aware of my heartbeat.

The sound echoed in my ears, threatening to drown out the noises around me. It was so loud. Had it always been this loud? Panic began to creep through my fiery veins.

"She's becoming aware," a voice said. It was male, I realized. The people speaking before were the girl and the woman.

"Is the pain fading?" the woman asked. Another light touch to my hand.

"Yes. But she's focused on her heart. She's panicking," he answered.

How did he know? I thought.

"You can hear her though? She's going to be alright?"

"Yes, Rose. She'll be fine. She's just… distracted. Talk to her."

Rose? Who was Rose? And how could he hear me? I felt my brain ache as I was bombarded with a million thoughts all at once. The questions and the pain and the confusion all swirled together in the huge, black space as I fought to focus on only one. I failed miserably. I wanted to cry, but I felt like I couldn't even remember how to do that. When would this end? My heartbeat quickened even more, if that was possible. I felt like I was collapsing into myself, forever doomed into an oblivion of pain and torture and -

"Lexi," the woman spoke. Her voice was smooth and pretty, just like a movie star from the black and white movies I used to watch late at night. I hung onto it.

Lexi.

Lexi, I thought. That's my name. My name. That simple concept seemed so… impossible after how long I'd been burning. It felt like I was hearing it for the first time as she spoke it.

"Keep talking to her," the man spoke again.

"Lexi," she repeated, "you're going to be alright. You're safe. My family brought you to our house after your accident. I know… I know you're in pain right now, but… but it's going to all be over soon."

Am I going to die? I thought miserably. Please, I begged, Kill me now. I want to die. I don't want to be stuck in this fiery hell forever…

I heard murmurs… so low I couldn't catch them. I felt a rush of air leave my mouth as I fought to stay cognizant and not be pulled back under by the flames licking at my insides and the blackness of oblivion. I wanted to know more.

I had to hang on.

"You're not going to die. You're going to wake up soon, and everything will be okay. You're safe here, and my family is going to help you through this. Things will be… different. But you aren't going to die, Lexi. I promise you. It will all be over soon."

I felt hope.

"You're going to be alright," she promised again. "You're going to make it, just like I did and you're going to be alright."

More pain left my limbs as her flowery voice filled my ears, but I couldn't focus on that. No, the only thing I could seem to grasp was the pounding of my heartbeat in my ears. Harder and faster it went, the thrumming taking up every square inch of my working conscience. I could hear her trying to talk to me, to calm me, but my heartbeat seemed determined to drown it all out.

THUMP... THUMP... THUMP.

"Lexi, listen to me. Stay calm, it will all be over soon…"

But I couldn't listen. I couldn't move, I couldn't think, I couldn't do anything but fixate on the frantic thrumming of my heart. It was hot - much, much too hot – would it explode? Would it shatter within my chest, singed against the molten hot bones of my upper ribcage? I felt like I could open my mouth and breathe out the flames that had tortured me for what felt like an endless amount of time.

One word floated to the front of my mind, allowing my singed brain to hold onto it: hell.

This was my hell.

This was hell and I was burning on a molten pyre. The epic finale would be the explosion of my heart. I pictured the fragile tissues of it as they ripped apart, melting into the flames.

"Lexi…"

Another touch on my leg. It was free of agony too. I wanted to celebrate, to cry, laugh…

"You're going to wake soon. Stay calm, Lexi, please... please don't be afraid."

Don't be afraid? I wondered. Afraid of what? How much worse could this hell be? What worse could the demons from my nightmares do?

I felt a touch on my shoulder, closer to my heart. Every touch of the mystery hands drew my attention to a completely different part of my body, and I realized the areas I was becoming aware of again were either spiking with heat and agony or miraculously free of any pain. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. The fire spiked at the top of my skull as I pictured the flames making one last horrifying round of my body before ultimately letting me melt away into nothing. It crept downward, leaving my brain and ears and my face finally alone. I felt myself sigh with relief. Down it sunk, the fires cresting and then retreating like the waves on a shore. I tried to picture the cool blue waters, but all my traitorous mind would conjure were images of scorching waves of blazes and lava. I felt like everything I'd known before – and I knew I'd known something, but I couldn't remember what. I hadn't always been lost to this sea of agony, had I?

THUMP... THUMP... THUMP.

"It's receding," the man murmured. "It's finishing up."

"Soon," the girlish voice promised. I heard her inhale sharply.

A rumbling sound – my mind stumbled for the word as I fought to focus on something, anything but the sound of my heart.

Car, I realized. It was the sound of a car.

"They need to leave," the woman muttered. Her lilting voice was tinged with something sharp. "It won't be safe for them here."

"It's just Seth," the man argued. "They'll know how to stay clear of her. He won't put Brady in danger."

The words he was speaking were familiar somehow, I knew – but how? I forgot to worry about it further as the fires continued to lick at my insides, swirling in torturous circles in my chest. My heart began to panic, stuttering and thrumming.

THUMP... THUMP... THUMP.

This was it. I was going to die, right there on the table I could feel beneath me. My heart was going to explode, and I was finally going to die.

The pain would be over.

More movement in the room – it felt like a big, airy space. I could feel the breeze as two more people entered, their footsteps lightly touching the floor as they walked gracefully. I shouldn't have been able to hear that or even focus on it with my chest contracting and throbbing the way it was, but I could.

"Jasper went with Bella and Renesmee to meet with the rest of the pack. They're helping do a sweep of the perimeter, making sure no one is around…" a new male voice spoke.

"Will she wake soon?" said another female.

"Any minute," the girlish voice answered.

"Lexi," the original female voice spoke, "don't be afraid. It will all be over soon, and we're here to help you."

THUMP... THUMP... THUMP.

Harder and harder my heart struggled, flailing wildly within my chest. I realized my teeth were clenched - I felt them grinding against one another as I sucked a violent breath into my lungs. A pitiful wail of raspy air left my throat as my heart stumbled. I squeezed my eyes closed and waited for it to stop, and it finally did.

THUMP.

THUMP…

Silence.

I whimpered. It was over.

I was finally dead.

I exhaled in relief as every fiber of my body relaxed all at once. My limbs went slack, my teeth unclenched, and I stopped gripping whatever it was I was lying on.

The pain was… gone.

I opened my eyes, staring upwards at the light above my head. It was bright, but my eyes weren't bothered by it. I stared at it for a moment, frowning as I realized that wherever I was – and I knew I had to be dead – that there was an overhead lamp. Was this hell? Purgatory? Heaven?

I hated to think one had to burn like that to get into heaven.

"You're not dead, Lexi," a man's voice said softly beside me.

I sat up in an instant, the movement unnaturally fast but somehow it felt normal. I blinked as I realized I was surrounded by people. Strangers. I was in a white room full of strangers! It all felt terribly peculiar, and I began to panic. My fingers gripped the table I was on, the cool metal crunching like Styrofoam beneath my hand. I glanced down at it, then up at the man who was speaking to me. What on earth?

I was in a room. No, a library… slash... two-story office? Rows and rows of books lined the upper floor – old books, by the smell of the dust on the pages – and the bottom floor where I was held, a long, ornate looking table, several computers, another long shelf of books, and in the corner was a cluster of what looked like hospital equipment. This was all very strange…

My eyes flashed back to the man in front of me. I wasn't alone – not by a long shot.

"I'm Edward Cullen. This is my family. You've met us before… at Leah's wedding. You remember that, don't you?" he asked.

I glanced at their faces. Their strange, beautiful, porcelain like faces. I blinked again, my eyes focusing on the blonde woman in front of me. My eyes focused in on hers, easily picking up the differentiating flecks of yellow and amber in her strange, gold eyes. I'd seen her before – the man, Edward, wasn't lying.

So I knew them, but what did that mean? I quickly forgot about the fact that I was in a room full of strangers before realizing I felt so strange. Panic began to bubble up in my chest, a breath of air rushing into my mouth as I took a deep breath – It felt so weird to breathe! Instead of relief from the air, I could taste things in the air as I smelled them. Things I never knew there was a taste for – flowers, dust, wood, leaves, moss… and something else pleasant. This isn't right, I realized. I inhaled again, testing the air as the strange people stared at me. I didn't like this. I was starting to really panic now. My hand flew to my chest as I readied myself for my heart to start pounding inside my chest.

Only it didn't.

I cupped the spot below my collar bone where my heart should be, expecting it to start racing at any moment. But it didn't. Nothing.

Suddenly it all came racing back to me. The pain. The burning. My heart pounding inside my chest, surrounded by fire and threatening to explode. What had happened to me? I was afraid. I should be trembling, I realized. But I wasn't – I could be completely still – like a statue. This wasn't right – something wasn't right!

I went to stand, but the motion felt all wrong. The room became a carefully constructed blur as I moved to put my feet on the ground and instead, found myself all the way on the other side of the room. There was a crashing sound as I pressed my back up against a bookshelf in the corner, my eyes still glued to the people standing around the table. A few books came flying off the shelves in what felt like slow motion behind me, landing on the floor with a large crash.

How had I done that? Again, the feeling that something was indeed not right began to take over and cause me to panic. And then it happened – the fire returned. I gasped for air, trying to not panic but I couldn't stop it! The burning seeped back into me, a fiery blaze swelling up in the back of my throat. It was the most uncomfortable, fiery itch I'd ever experienced. My hand flew to cup my throat as it roared hotter.

My skin.

My neck not forgotten, I clutched it with one hand while I held up the other. The skin before me was pale and smooth, the snow-like complexion so unlike my own.

I froze. This wasn't my body. Oh my god, this wasn't my body. One of the people across the room shifted, holding up his hands. I realized it had only been a second or two since I'd stood up from the table and he was walking towards me.

"Lexi," he called softly, his voice calm. He was tall and blond and so statuesque it was laughable. Was he going to hurt me?

"What happened to me?" I finally spoke. The voice was not even my own – it was smooth and light and not anything like how I usually sounded. What was happening to me?

"Lexi… you're safe here. No one is going to hurt you," the blond man spoke. "My name is Carlisle. This is part of my family. You've seen some of them before. We're friends of…" he trailed off, glancing at the bronze haired man behind him. He shook his head as if to tell him not to speak further, his own golden eyes shifting to me.

"I'm Edward, Lexi. My wife, Bella, is Regan's cousin. We're the Cullens."

I knew that name. I'd heard it before and I felt myself relax slightly. I couldn't sense any danger nearby, but that still didn't explain why I felt like I wasn't even in my own body any more. Not that I would have remembered what my own body felt like – I tried to remember things from before the burning. Before the lava-like hell had ripped through my veins, charring me inside and out. But it hadn't, I realized. I held up my hand in front of my face, flipping it over several times. The movement looked too fast and jerky, but it felt normal. But wait, what was normal? What was my normal before whatever that hellish fire? Had the blazing inferno burned away all that I was, all that I had been before?

My mind felt like it could think of and solve anything almost instantly – my eyes were darting around the room - was it a library? A strange doctor's office?; surveying the people in front of me - three men, one woman, and a teenager, counting doors (2), tallying the number of clicks of a second hand (21,606), and the number of breath's I'd taken since I'd woken up (19). But I couldn't make it remember anything about myself or what was normal.

The copper haired man, Edward, stopped forward. "You're Lexi. You're eighteen years old. You live in Forks, Washington. You're at our home, and you're safe."

I nodded in understanding. I felt like I should be shaking like a leaf, but I was still. Too still. My eyes fell on the table in the middle of the room I'd jumped up from only minute ago. The metal sides were crushed in an awkward, condensed angle. My eyes zoomed forward without my permission – like a highly focused camera would - and focused on the shape of the warped metal. My fingers had done that, I realized, holding up my hand. They'd crushed the metal, and it was definitely metal and not Styrofoam like I'd thought it was.

Oh my god, I thought. What had the Cullens done to me? Had they killed me and brought me back to life as some weird, freaky superhero? Or a messed up science experiment?

"What did you do to me?" I asked. My voice was betraying me – it should be still and strong like I felt, but instead it was shaking.

"Nothing," the blonde woman said. "I'm Rose. Rosalie. I met you at L… at a wedding, several months ago. I'm Edward's sister," she explained. "We didn't do anything to you. You were in the woods, down by First Beach and you were attacked. We found you and brought you here until you were better."

The woods, I realized. The woods I was in when I was attacked. I could remember the green, the smell of the salt of the ocean, the way the ferns felt against my legs as I'd walked. I could remember being in the woods and then suddenly being afraid.

A jolt of fear ran through me as I remembered his eyes – his blood red, terrifying eyes.

"He attacked you, Lexi. He was a vampire. He bit you and threw you from the treetops," the copper haired man spoke again. "We were called to help you, because we're vampires too."

My mind struggled to comprehend what he was telling me – it fought to remember why I was in the woods and why I'd been bitten by a vampire in first place – that was something out of a fairy tale.

"We can talk about that later," the copper haired man promised. "We need to get you fed."

I froze. They were vampires. I'd been bitten by a vampire. I didn't feel like myself. I didn't feel even human.

Hours seemed to tick by as I stayed, backed against a bookshelf, and the Cullens stared at me as I pieced everything together. And then suddenly wished I hadn't.

"I was bitten. So I… I'm a vampire," I stammered out. It made sense – I didn't feel like myself and like I wasn't human anymore because I wasn't – I wasn't myself anymore.

"You… you're right," Rosalie spoke. "You're a vampire. And so are we. And Lexi... we're here to help you. No one should have to go through this alone and… we've all been in your shoes before. We can help you do this."

Panic leapt into my heart again, and I expected it to start pounding – but it didn't. No, my dead heart stayed cemented in place, never moving. The panic was all in my mind. My rapidly working, imaginative mind. I thought of all the horror movies I'd seen in the past – just the pictures that the word 'vampire' brought to my mind. Memories were hard to conjure up – my memories were selective and few as I stood there trying to piece everything together. The other Cullens were quiet as Rosalie crept forward. Her hands were up in a nonthreatening manner, and I didn't feel like she was a threat – but my instinct was to be afraid and defensive.

A growl sounded in the room.

Their eyes widened. Edward gently pulled Rosalie back, and that's when the monster of a vampire with dark, curly hair stepped forward and put his hand on her shoulder.

They all watched me with cautious, accusatory stares and unblinking eyes. Hell, none of them even moved an inch before I realized that the growl was from me.

I pulled my lip between my teeth – the action didn't hurt, but it did make me realize that my teeth were now in fact razor sharp. My tongue worried the front edges of them as my speedy brain catalogued just how sharp they really were. Holy shit.

"I'm… so I'm a monster now?"

Carlisle shifted his weight in a fidgety way, licking his lip. "No, Lexi, we're not. We're vampires… not monsters. I think you'll find the two are very different."

"How?" I demanded, my guard still up. I was in a room full of vampires – just because I was one myself didn't make me feel any better about my situation.

"We don't harm people," he explained, "we only hunt animals."

I swallowed. "Hunt?"

He nodded. "Tell me… did you eat meat as a human?"

I nodded, second guessing myself. "I… I think I did, yes. I can remember meat."

He offered me a tiny smile. "Then this is no different. We also eat animals. Only… one part of them. We aren't the vampires in books and movies and nightmares. We're a family who live a slightly unconventional life and only hunt animals to survive. We do not harm humans or upset them in any way."

"We keep it a secret," Rosalie chimed in, stepping away from the burly man's grasp. They exchanged a fleeting look before she inched her way closer to me. "We don't hurt anyone, and we don't' tell anyone what we are. We're not monsters, Lexi. And neither are you."


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 36: The Hunt

Lexi

I felt so strange.

Rosalie coaxed me away from the bookshelf I'd backed into and effectively crushed. Turning around, I gasped in horror when I realized the damage I'd done to the old-looking books.

"Were those expensive?" I asked in a high pitched, panicky voice. I felt like I should be blushing and my heart should be pounding as the other people – no, vampires in the room moved to the side. I needed to remember I was in a room full of vampires.

Shit, shit, shit, I thought without control. I looked at Carlisle, who seemed to be the leader, and he offered me a kind smile despite the fact that I'd unknowingly destroyed half a library.

"Everything is replaceable. Please, Lexi, go hunt and we can talk some more."

Rosalie slowly reached out, taking my hand in hers. Her grip was warm and firm, but not threatening. She wasn't a threat, I realized. My mind reeled – I felt like a caged animal.

Edward stepped forward. "It will help you to hunt," he urged. "May we come with you?"

"Hunt," I repeated slowly. "Hunt…"

"The burn you feel… in your throat?" he asked.

"How did you...?"

He gave me an understanding look. "We all suffer from it. It's just something you… deal with as one of our kind. But drinking will help it. And to get something to drink, you need to hunt."

I gulped in fear, which only ignited the fire in my throat that was suddenly noticeably burning even hotter. Yes, there it was I realized. Every swallow, every breath, every tick of the clock made it burn hotter and hotter. Ouch, I thought. "It hurts."

"Come," Rosalie prodded. "Why don't we take you hunting together?"

Okay, so I wouldn't have to alone. That helped – a little. I paused mid step, my body immediately frozen. "Will I have to kill something?"

Rosalie paused, mid-step and exchanged a fleeting glance with her family members. They were completely silent for a moment as an awkward pause settled over the large room.

She gave me a kind smile. "Not if you don't want to. I can… help."

I chewed my lip, running my razor sharp teeth over it again and again. "What if I can't kill anything? What if I try and I just… can't? Will I starve to death, or… or will my throat still hurt like this? Because this really, really hurts."

Another awkward glance around the circle of people standing around us. "You… might be surprised."

I glanced at the other people in the room – two women who had been noticeably calm and quiet in the corner. One stepped forward – the girl, or at least – the one I thought was a teenager. She looked like she'd been dying to tell me something the entire time I'd been awake.

"I'm Alice," she zipped to my side. I inhaled sharply, but tried not to look so shocked. "You're going to do fine. I know it," she laughed.

A caramel haired woman stepped forward, offering me a caring, motherly smile. She approached much slower than Alice had, her gait soft and almost tentative. "She's got a knack for that. I'm Esme. I'm Carlisle's wife."

The burly dark haired man slung an arm around her shoulder and flashed me a wide grin. "And one heck of a mom."

"Emmett is my husband," Rosalie explained when I gave him a questioning look. Wait, they were all together? This was the strangest family I'd ever met. Their names all sounded familiar, like I'd read them in a book a long time ago. I tried to think back to where I knew them from, but everything before the fire scorching through me was a confusing blur. I saw flashes of places, things, people… but nothing seemed to want to stick in the front of my mind, the wide open place where I could focus and see them clearly long enough to make any sense. Which was immediately frustrating because I felt like I suddenly had so much room for thinking and remembering things. Everything was all too much to take in...

"She's your mom?" I asked. "You look so..."

"Young?" Alice chimed in again. "We are. Esme and Carlisle pose as our… adoptive parents. My husband, Jasper and Edward's wife Bella went ahead to make sure we were clear to hunt."

"Hunt," I repeated. I didn't hunt. I didn't even really like being physically active – nor was I competitive.

"Once you've eaten, we'll explain more," Rosalie said, appearing on my other side. I remembered the pain in my throat and felt myself wince. It felt like someone had ripped my tonsils out with their bare hands. How on earth could they stand it?

"I'll feel better if I eat?"

She gave me a reassuring nod. "I know it hurts now, but we'll make it better. You might have to drink a lot the first time-"

"-Drink?" I interjected. "Blood. Vampire. Right," I said in a stilted voice. I had to drink blood. Because apparently I was a vampire now. A small, high pitched laugh bubbled from my throat – half astonished, still half horrified. I was a vampire, and I had to drink blood now to survive. They didn't mean eat, I realized. They meant drink. The rest of the family sensed my apprehension – they had to. They began walking toward the doors leading out to the outside and talking amongst themselves. Petty, silly things like the weather. I could tell they were trying to make me feel better. They had to know this was the most bizarre thing that had ever happened to me, and they were trying to make me feel comfortable. But I still couldn't help but panic.

"It's only hard the first time," she whispered reassuringly. "After today, you'll never pause to hunt ever again. Once you see how easy everything is now that you're… well, one of us… you'll see."

I walked forward, eager to do anything to quench the burn in my throat. It was an odd sensation; the fire was at the front of my mind (which suddenly felt huge, by the way) but felt like it had its own separate compartment. I could suddenly use other parts of my mind to focus on other things – ticks of the clock, the cars on the highway, the movement of everyone around me, my own breathing… it was a little dizzying. But… I wasn't dizzy.

Rosalie paused in the doorway – the office had a set of French doors leading out to a small patio behind the house. The neatly stained deck led out to a sprawling backyard that ended at a babbling river. Could I see the river? No, but I could certainly hear the water streaming over the rocks. Weird, I thought. The forest served as a backdrop, the thick ferns and tall, moss covered trees looming in the distance. I'd been here before, I realized. It felt fuzzy – like trying to remember something from when I was three.

"Would you go ahead?" she asked politely, her voice soft. I followed her gaze to Carlisle, who nodded and gave me another gentle smile – they were trying to be nice, but they kept looking at me like I was some kind of a time bomb. I didn't understand – was I dangerous?

Edward glanced between me and Rosalie and nodded. That was strange – they looked like they had just had some sort of unspoken conversation. He motioned to Esme and Carlisle, who gave him a grin before joining hands and walking in front of us to the patio. They took a few steps into the grass before Carlisle turned to look at me.

"We'll be out there making sure it's safe for you, Lexi. You can do this," Carlisle offered. With that, they turned and were off like darts into the trees. My eyes focused in on their retreating forms as they dashed away, easily following their movements for what I could only guess was… a mile? Holy crap, I thought. I wouldn't be needing contacts to do schoolwork anymore that was for sure.

Alice bounced on her toes, looking like a little kid that was impatient to go get ice cream. Edward snickered, but didn't say anything as he joined his… sister? Emmett and Rosalie walked with me onto the grass.

"Am I even… dressed okay? Wait, where did these come from?"

I realized I was dressed in a stylish pair of jeans, some dainty slip on flats, and a pale, flowy linen shirt. The material felt soft and delicate on my arms as I followed the four of them further into the yard.

Alice laughed. "You're welcome."

"I think you'll find you're dressed fine for hunting. Those are just clothes we had lying around," Rosalie assured me with a knowing smile. I returned it, albeit shakily. She and the Cullens were being so kind to me and I was practically a stranger. I must really be in dire straits, I realized.

I blinked, scanning the forest with my new eyes. It felt so different to not be in burning agony anymore – it felt like a lifetime ago that I was burning.

"How long was I out?"

Emmett swung his arms in circles as if he was getting ready to play a sport. "Bout three days. Seemed like forever, didn't it?"

I nodded, turning my attention back to the trees. Now that I was focusing on the woods instead of everything else, I was suddenly overwhelmed. It was all so stimulating – the smells, the sounds, the sights – I could hear, see, taste, hear, sense… everything. It was difficult to not let it all overwhelm me and curl into a ball crying right there on the lawn. I swallowed back my fear.

Oh.

There it was again.

The fire.

My throat ignited into flames again as I realized I did need to do something about it – it wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

"Do you want to start?" Rosalie asked gently, touching my arm. "Just try running. Do what feels natural and the rest will come. Just follow your instincts and your senses will do the rest."

I did as she suggested, turning and taking off into a run. Holy hell, I took off like a rocket. It only took me a split second to realize I was surging through the green woods, flying around trees and stumps and everything around me. I was running so fast it didn't seem like it could be real – could it?

I heard a laugh behind me, then another on my right. Edward, I realized. He was sprinting beside me, his legs churning so fast it looked like something in a movie. Another set of footsteps – heavier – and I realized it was Emmett. Rosalie came sprinting up to his side, a laugh bubbling out of her mouth as they met my pace and kept it. Glancing up, I realized Alice was overhead, doing a series of acrobatic twists and flips through the treetops. She would land and gracefully lope a few steps on the ground like a speedy gazelle before catapulting into the treetops to use the mossy limbs like an acrobat would.

I slid to a halt suddenly, my body rigid with… something. I picked up a scent of something. While the rest of the woods smelled of moss, mud and leaves, this smelled like food. It was like being at the mall and suddenly catching a whiff of the food court. It wasn't entirely appealing as far as scents go, but it wasn't awful. My mind told me to go after it – to chase it.

Go, a tiny voice seemed to whisper. Now. I turned my head to the south – wait, how did I know that was south? And paused.

Chase it, it seemed to whisper again.

I stiffened. My mind was telling me to hunt it. It knew that whatever was causing that smell would somehow ease the pain in my throat. How did it know?

I wasn't used to this – this intuition, this voice telling me what I needed to do to get to the thing that would ease my suffering.

Edward appeared at my side. "Instinct," he said softly, motioning ahead with a bob of his head. I was momentarily dazed and distracted by the perfect planes of his face and golden eyes. They were all so pretty…was I that pretty now too? Wait, food! I needed to focus. I peered through the thick foliage and realized I was staring through nearly a half a mile of trees to where a small herd of something four-legged and deer-looking stood drinking from the stream. Alice leaned over a tree branch above, her eyes bright as they darted between me and the animals as if she was watching a movie cliffhanger.

He smirked. "Elk. Those are elk. A good starter as far as hunts go."

"What do I do?" I asked, my voice quivering slightly.

Rosalie and Emmett circled back, joining me. "Do what feels natural," she urged.

"Just run on over to them and say hello," Emmett laughed. "You'll figure out the rest as you go."

He chuckled again like he was in on some sort of secret. I glanced at him, realizing he was only teasing. His golden eyes glimmered with jest as Rosalie elbowed his side.

I swallowed again and bounced on the balls of my feet. "I'm a planner, Emmett. I'm not really a 'figure it out as I go type of girl'.

He laughed with Edward as Rosalie put a reassuring hand on my shoulder and lightly squeezed. She offered another kind smile. "You can do this," she assured me. Her words and touch were comforting and almost… motherly. I nodded.

"Come on. Together," she urged. I felt fidgety, like I was going to burst out of my skin if we didn't move. She grabbed my hand and pulled me into a run, but this was different – this was predatory. I copied her stance, crouching lower and making my footfalls consciously quiet. We dodged around fallen trees and branches, our footsteps silent and stealth-like as we ran together through the woods. It only took a split second before the elk were in front of us, completely unaware of what was going to happen. My throat throbbed with agony, and I realized my tongue felt like sandpaper and it was just too much I couldn't-

I stopped on the opposite side of the bank, suddenly frozen with fear. I couldn't hear the little voice in my head anymore telling me to go, to hunt – all I could see were the elk. The poor, unsuspecting elk. What did I do? How would I kill them? My throat burned with a miserable fire as I balked and pulled Rosalie to a halt beside me. I couldn't really kill them, could I?

"Lexi, come on!" she pleaded.

The elk were aware we were there now. Their heads jerked up from where they were drinking from the stream, their eyes wild as they sensed imminent danger.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

I watched them scatter and start to flee, their hearts thumping in their chests as their hooves clattered against the rocky bank.

"I… I can't..."

Edward skidded to a halt beside us, glancing at me. "Emmett!" he bellowed, motioning to a large animal darting up the bank. Looking over, I watched the dark haired vampire come flying out of the green forest in a gigantic leap, soaring through the air only to land soundlessly and gracefully in front of the elk. I shrieked and covered my mouth as I watched him effortlessly grab the animal and quickly snap its neck. It went limp in his arms and then it was over. The others fled upstream, away from their fallen friend and out of danger.

I let out a cross between a gasp and a whimper as he carried the lifeless animal over to me. Rosalie squeezed my hand. "It's okay. It's over. It's not suffering."

My throat throbbed as I remembered the pain I was in and not the way Emmett had so gracefully killed it. I choked on my horror and took a few deep breaths.

"Is she gonna be ok?" he asked skeptically, glancing at Rosalie and Emmett. Alice appeared on the other side of the stream, holding her own elk as if it was nothing other than an empty plastic bag.

"Oh good, you got one too," she sighed. She met my worried gaze and grinned. "Well, I didn't see that coming! You almost had it. Then you panicked."

I nodded, still not sure if I could speak. This was hunting? This is what I needed to do? This was awful.

"Is… isn't there anything else I can… eat, or… drink? I'm..."

"Thirsty," Rosalie finished. She sighed and nodded empathetically. "I know the feeling."

"You need to drink. You'll feel better, and we can go back to the house and talk," Edward explained. "I know it sounds weird, but just… drink and you'll feel better. Not completely satisfied, but… better."

Emmett handed me the animal, the limp legs dangling from my arms as I accepted the erm, gift, I guess. I gasped as I realized I was holding what was easily a two hundred pound elk like it was nothing.

"I'm… I'm strong."

"Very. You're a newborn vampire. Nothin tougher' than that," he chuckled. Rosalie nodded with encouragement, and I lowered myself to the ground. I knelt on the rock shoreline, setting the animal down. It smelled… somewhat appealing, that was for sure.

"Right on the artery. On the neck," Rosalie coached. I nodded and squeezed my eyes shut. My teeth cut through the fur and skin with ease and then- oh my goodness.

It was like not eating for a week and then sitting down to thanksgiving dinner. It was a million times better than a cold glass of lemonade on a hundred degree day.

It was relief.

I drank from the animal and felt the warm liquid running down my throat, calming the fire that burned there like hot charcoals and soothing the seemingly never-ending itch that was becoming harder and harder to bear. I couldn't pay attention to the taste, the smell, the animal in my grasp, or any of the four vampires standing around me watching. Nothing mattered but the blood.

I sighed in relief as I sucked the last drops from the artery. I hadn't even realized it, but I was holding the animal upright to drain it. I dropped it with a shudder, jumping away as I realized I had just drained the carcass of all of its blood. It fell to the rocky little beach by the stream with a sickening crunch. I exhaled sharply – half out of relief, half out of disgust. I'd drunk all of its blood, and now it was just a unmoving carcass on the ground. The lifeless eyes stared up at me. They would never blink again, I realized.

The thought should have made me repulse and wretch, but it only made me want more. I swallowed, testing the flames in my throat. It still itched with a scratchy burn, but it was far less prominent.

"Is there any more?" I heard myself wail in a shaky voice. Edward disappeared into the trees on the side of the creek bed, appearing with another limp body.

"I… got you one too," he offered.

I snatched it from his hands much faster than I thought was both appropriate and possible. I was like a greedy toddler reaching for a piece of candy I wasn't supposed to have. This one came easier – I sucked it dry in a matter of minutes, the blood coating the flames in my throat so efficiently I could have cried. I pried my mouth away from the dead elk's neck with a final gasp and shuddered in relief.

I looked over at Rosalie. She nodded, her eyes slowly scanning me as she offered a timid smile.

"That was… good," she said, her voice stilted. I followed her gaze to the front of my shirt.

It was drenched in blood.

I gasped, my hands flying to my face and throat. I was covered in elk's blood. I whimpered, panicking as I realized it was still dripping down my throat, my chin, and all down the front of the silky blouse I wore. It looked like I'd murdered someone in the worst possible way.

"Oh my god, oh my god..." I murmured, holding out my hands. I gasped as I realized they too were shiny with fresh blood. It was everywhere.

I was covered in blood and worse – I was a vampire. How much worse could this possibly get?


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 37: Learning to Kill

Lexi

"I'm…I'm covered in…" I wiped at my hands and arms and chest, pawing at my new pale skin to try to get if off. That only smeared it everywhere. The smell of it both enticed and repulsed me – how could I have just consumed so much of it? I fell to my knees beside the creek, plunging my hands into the water. They cut through a thin layer of ice that was fringing the rocky bank, but I barely noticed. I was too covered in blood to care about much else. My chest grew tight and I felt myself start to cry. I whimpered as I doused myself in the cold water, not even pausing when I realized the water should have felt cold but didn't. I should have been shaking, but I wasn't. I should have passed out from the sight of so much blood, and not to mention on me, but I didn't. I felt like an alien creature in my own body. This wasn't right – was it? I couldn't really be a vampire who hunted and ran faster than a speeding bullet and killed animals I would have considered harmless and cute.

Could I?

I heard myself whimper again as I doused my hands in the creek water again. The icy water began to wash away the bloody stains, but I still felt like my heart should be pounding by now. Even as panicked as I was, I could still hear every sound and sense everything around me. There were no tears, no pounding heart, no ringing in my ears. Nothing felt right. Nothing.

"Lexi…"

I scrubbed at my hands, but the elk's blood was sticky and thick. It had lodged in my fingernails and onto my pale, chalky skin. The sight of it made me panic even more.

"I'm…it won't come off!" I wailed, my cries echoing against the trees.

"Lexi," Rosalie repeated, couching down beside me. Reaching out, she stilled my hands in the water and held them in her own. I stilled, taking a deep breath. I looked up at her with wide eyes as I realized what a fit I'd been throwing. I felt so ashamed. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Emmett, Edward, and Alice were all standing behind her, watching me with blank faces. I felt so humiliated that I'd made such a horrible mess. I realized too late that glancing down at my clothes only made it worse. I looked like an axe murderer.

"You were only eating," Edward pointed out. I blinked up at him and thought, this doesn't feel like 'just eating', but kept my comment to myself.

"Shhh," Rosalie chided him, turning back to me. She dunked my hands back into the water, her hands carefully rubbing the rest of the blood away into the icy stream.

"It's everywhere…"

"I know. We'll fix it."

She helped me wipe the elk's blood off my arms and hands and assured me the clothes could be destroyed.

"The first few times are always a mess. I made quite the terrifying scene on my first try too. I'm sure we all did," she reassured me gently.

I barely noticed when the other three turned and nonchalantly made their way upstream at a slow walk. I finished drying my hands on my jeans and tried not to look at the dried blood beneath my fingernails. Rosalie and I were alone. I glanced sideways at her and tried my best to not feel inferior next to her, but that was impossible. My new eyes could easily detail every line and curve of her perfect face. I surely looked like a mess. I felt like a raggedy old doll being held up next to a supermodel.

"I'm horrible at this," I sniffed. I wiped my cheeks, expecting there to be tears, but there were none. I stared at my dry hand and let out a shaky exhale.

Rosalie watched me in silence, no sound but the wind in the trees and the rush of the water in the creek beside us. If I hadn't been so upset, I would have marveled at the babbling brook in the middle of the wintery forest, but I was too distracted to worry about that now. I was a vampire and I was horrible at it. I'd seen the way Emmett had mechanically snapped the neck of the animal, effortlessly stalking, catching, and killing it in a matter of a second. I'd only succeeded in making a mess and…crying without tears.

"Crying without tears isn't really the same, is it?" she cut through my thoughts.

"No," I sniffed.

"Do you at least feel better?"

I swallowed, testing the fire in my throat. It was almost nothing – still uncomfortable, but more like a sore throat now instead of a blazing inferno. I nodded.

"You need more," she guessed. I bobbed my head again like a petulant child, refusing to meet her gaze. She carefully walked across the rocky little beach in her heels, I realized, and daintily picked up the other carcass.

Alice had killed it. I'd forgotten it until now, but as soon as she held it up my eyes immediately zeroed in on the animal's neck. My tongue grew thick with a cloying, sour flavor as I salivated at the sight of the dead animal. She held it up, exposing its long, thin neck.

"I'll help this time," she offered sweetly, motioning me forward. I bit into it without hesitation this time. She held it to my mouth as I drained it, the lukewarm liquid sliding down my throat and dulling the ache. Normally I would have balked at the feel of the elk's fur at my lips and the taste of the cooling blood, but I couldn't think of anything better in this moment than the feeling of it as it filled my stomach and seemed to warm my bones.

I finished, carefully wiping my mouth. Nothing. I'd drained it without spilling a single drop. I felt a small rise of accomplishment in my gut. Maybe I could do this.

"See? Just takes practice. I ruined a few silk skirts in my day. You'll get better at it. Now grab that one – we have to bury them. Don't want to chance a hiker finding elk with their necks mangled like this."

I followed her lead, picking up the first animal and walked after her as she left the rocky shore and entered the woods. She looked so out of place, I realized. Perfect blonde hair, immaculate clothes, heels….and carrying something that looked like road kill. She offered me a tiny smile before grabbing a sapling that looked five or six years old and uprooting it like she was picking up her purse.

"Toss it in," she instructed. I did as I was told and buried my kill. After the tree was replanted and the leaves on the ground carefully rearranged, I felt a little bit better – it was like nothing had happened.

"Where did the others go?" I asked.

She glanced out into the woods, shrugging. "Probably gave us time to chat. Just us. Edward, my brother….he's…he was trying to be nice."

"What do you mean?"

She started walking, motioning for me to join her. "We…some of us…our kind…have gifts."

"Gifts?"

"Yes. Well, we call them gifts. More like special abilities."

"Like what?"

"Promise you won't be upset?"

I shrugged halfheartedly, nodding. "I'm covered in blood and I'm a vampire now. I think I've already met and exceeded my quota for upset today."

She laughed softly, tucking her blonde hair behind her ear. "Well, when he was turned he was somehow given the gift to….hear people's minds. People, and…vampires."

"He can?"

"Sounds crazy, but…"

I turned my upstream in the direction of where Alice, Edward, and Emmett had disappeared to give us space. First vampires, now gifted vampires? It still didn't seem real.

"It does, but that's…sort of neat. So could he hear me when…?"

"When you were turning, yes. He helped us know what to do to help you. Most of my family wasn't turned into this by choice. I certainly wasn't."

"You weren't?"

"No, but…that's a story for another time. I'll share it. We'll have time. Plenty," she sighed. She paused, looking over her shoulder at me. "If you didn't already guess it or know it, vampires….don't ever age."

"I….I feel like I knew that," I paused, stopping in my tracks. I tried to remember how I knew anything about vampires, but it was escaping me. My mind before today, before waking up – felt fuzzy. I struggled to recall anything about my life or who I was before the terrible fire that had ripped through my body. And trying to remember it but only seeing blurry pictures and faces grew frustrating in the split second it took me to try. It felt like waking up from a dream and trying to remember every single detail –it felt impossible.

Our feet crunched against the half-frozen ferns and dead leaves covering the ground as we walked. In the distance, I could hear the other members of Rosalie's family talking and laughing as they traipsed through the forest.

"How would I know about vampires?" I asked.

She shrugged. "Forks has always had more than just vampires. I'm sure you have a lot of questions."

I nodded, sensing there was more she wasn't telling me. Not that I blamed her – my emotional outburst when I'd woken up was probably causing her to be cautious. Reaching out, I lightly pinched a sapling branch in my fingertips. It snapped with a satisfying crunch at only a whisper of a touch from me. My mouth quirked- that was weird.

"I feel…strong. That's not just me, right?"

"No," she laughed softly, "That's not just you. You're what we call a 'newborn'. A new vampire. Carlisle could tell you more science behind it, but essentially more of you human blood lingers in your tissues as a newborn, making you stronger. Stronger than any of us, actually."

I thought back (with perfect recollection) to their faces when I'd woken a few hour before. They'd all been clearly anxious and borderline terrified of what was going to happen – of what I was going to do, I realized.

"But I wouldn't hurt anyone," I quickly assured her. "I've…I've never hurt anyone. I don't think…I don't think I've ever even hit anyone. I think…."

She smiled. "It's alright, Lexi. We were just being cautious. Not all newborns are as controlled as you were."

"I wouldn't say controlled," I muttered, holding up my hands. They were pale and icy white as I turned them over in front of me. Not a single freckle or scar on them. I felt like they could rip down the entire forest. "Is that why you all looked a little terrified of me when I woke up?"

"Maybe," she sighed. "We were really more worried you'd be upset. This isn't an ideal life, Lexi, I won't lie to you."

"But vampires are strong?"

"Very. But as a newborn vampires you're susceptible to your emotions running wild, your senses being in overdrive…it's very overwhelming. It can be hard for even the most sensible person to control one's self when you're new to this life. It's a lot to take in. Don't be upset with yourself if it's difficult at first. But you'll learn your body and how to control it. We have nothing but time to practice. Don't let today get you down – this isn't easy to take in, despite how easy everything feels physically."

"Tell me about it," I agreed. I let my new eyes scan the trees around us, taking it all in. I could see every shape, every color, and every molecule, it felt like. Crazy. And that was only one of my senses. The rest were in overdrive as well, taking in every minute sound, smell, taste, and feeling they could. It was disturbing and exhilarating all at the same time.

We walked slowly for a few more minutes, Rosalie stopping patiently every time I was distracted by a breeze or a tree or a shuffle of dried leaves. I couldn't help it – everything was so overwhelming. I knew I'd been a human, but I felt like I'd been blindfolded and forced to wear earplugs the entire time. Everything was so vivid and new that even a walk in a halfway frozen forest had me reeling.

"We should catch up to the others," she sighed. "Do you feel like you've had enough to drink?"

I tested my throat – it still hurt, but not as badly as it had before I'd hunted. Well, tried to hunt.

I was about to tell her no when I felt my nostrils flare on their own accord. An icy breeze made the tree branches ruffle slightly the frozen ferns brushing at my calves. An aroma much more enticing than that of the elk filled my nose and mouth and made the sour taste return. I licked my lips and swallowed.

"Venom," she said quietly. "That taste right before the hunt is venom."

I listened to her, but another part of my seemingly endless mind was already a million miles away. I let out a shaky breath as my head jerked to the North, my eyes zeroing in on something large and brown moving through the landscape. Then I heard it.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

I sucked in another breath as I realized I could hear its heart beating blood through its veins. I couldn't tear my eyes away.

"This will be fun," I heard her chuckle.

"I…I…I need to go," I mumbled, barely able to control my own limbs. It was like another part of me had taken over – a wild, feral part that didn't ask for permission or worry about the consequences. It was the part that wanted to run and hunt and tear whatever I was smelling that was so wonderful to shreds just so that I could bask in the hot, warm liquid-

It was over before I could even blink twice. My feet propelled me through the ferns and saplings, barely touching the mossy floor as I tore across the short distance towards the beating heart. It was as easy as breathing, really – all of it. I didn't pause, I didn't think – I just let the instinct take over. My hands were around the neck of the large cat before it could even sense me – I'd ended its life before it even had a chance to jump in surprise. It let out a gurgled growl of surprise as I twisted its neck opened my jaws. They sliced through the fur and sinew like it was something I'd done a thousand times.

Relief – but this time, real relief.

I felt the blood running down my throat, a few drops missing my lips and dripping down my chin and onto my clothes again but I just didn't care. The blood of the animal was a hundred times more filling and savory tasting than that of the elk. When it was drained I heard myself let out a disappointed growl as I gripped it in my hands. I closed my eyes and savored the feeling of the warm blood running through my body, coating and soothing it. It was euphoria.

A wolf's howl pierced the air.

My eyes opened, scanning the wilderness. It was twilight, but my enhanced eyes could easily see the scenery despite the fading light. Everything took on a blue-ish white glow, but was otherwise the same.

It sounded again, in the distance. I strained my vision, searching through the now-misty woods to find the source of the call. It didn't frighten me. A strange feeling of nostalgic Deja-vu washed over me as I waited for it to come to me.

I knew that sound.

I dropped the mountain lion at my feet, letting it hit the forest floor with a muted crunch. Rosalie zipped to my side, placing her arm on mine.

"Lexi…"

I could hear its feet hitting the ground – the telltale thumping of something on four legs as it turned and loped away. It was faint, but I could tell the source of the sound had turned and left.

The wolf saw me feeding and made that noise….

It came back to me suddenly, swirling in front of my eyes like an old, out of focus black and white movie. The wolf howling. The cold woods. The blood red eyes. The feeling of his hand holding mine while I burned…

I stared out into the empty forest and my lips could suddenly form his name like it was my own.

"Brady."


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 38: More than Bittersweet

Lexi

"Brady," I heard myself utter.

I'd been so wrapped up in my new body that I had barely bothered to worry why so much of my head was a jumbled mess when I tried to think of anything before my accident. Before the burning…

My mind seemed to hurtle forward, thrusting memories of the burning to the forefront of my mind. It was a struggled to push past it and remember anything further back. The wolf's howl had cleared a path through my brain into the past, or so it seemed. It was difficult, but I could form his face in my mind. Remember things from before was hard – as soon as I remembered the way his tan skin and strong jaw looked, the memory seemed to float away and out of my grasp like a balloon towards the sky.

They were at my side in a moment.

"Wolves," Alice muttered. She shared a look with the others. A pointed look. Another trace of the scent blew by my nose, clouding everything else.

The Cullens hovered around me, their golden eyes wide with worry as I made a sound I can only describe as an angered growl. It felt so natural – the rumbling, guttural noise that flowed from my throat as the scent lingered in the air. Enemy, a voice whispered within my mind. The same voice that had urged me to hunt and kill and drain the elk. It was pushing me forward a second time – towards the wolf.

Towards Brady.

I started forward, but stopped. I could remember him, but the trace of the scent floating through the air made a flag of caution rise up in my mind. Stop, it begged, danger.

But how did it know?

Brady wasn't dangerous to me….or was he? I felt myself start to panic as the indecisive feelings began overwhelming. They rose like water; it felt like they would brim up and swallow me whole. I froze as I stared in the direction of the wolf's howl, unable to decide what to do next.

My skin itched as I fought the urge to bolt after the noise of the wolf – of Brady, I realized, and rip it to pieces. My eyes stared in the direction of the scent, wide and unblinking. I wanted to chase the wolf and kill it – it was making my senses go into danger overload. But Brady….

"They're one in the same," I heard Edward mutter. I glanced over, his eyes darting up to meet mine.

I opened my mouth to speak, but my mind was whirring so quickly I couldn't even form the words to ask him what he meant. This was so confusing…

"Brady has been following us," he continued. "I could hear his thoughts… he wanted… he wanted to make sure you were safe with us," he added with a pained look. I remembered Rosalie telling me he could hear my thoughts as well as the thoughts of everyone around him. My dead heart felt like it should have stuttered with pain at the thought of him.

"I feel so… strange… again," I whispered. Again Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, and Edward exchanged worried glances that I didn't miss. "I want to go after him. I want to…I need to see him," I insisted.

Rosalie shook her head. "Lexi…"

"We're natural enemies," Alice said softly. "But we've had a treaty with Jacob's and Sam's pack for years now."

I struggled to remember it all – the wolves, the pack, Brady being a shifter. It was difficult to conjure the memories in my otherwise sharp mind. It was incredibly frustrating. I heard myself growl in defeat.

"It's going to be okay, Lexi," Rosalie assured me, placing her hand on my shoulder. I shrugged her off and walked slowly – which felt strange now – to the edge of the creek.

"This stream signifies the cutoff," Edward explained, "Between our land and theirs. Our peace with the wolves is withstanding, but they respect it still to this day. They won't cross it knowing you're here now."

I nodded. I understood what he was trying to tell me – they had a treaty worked out with the wolves and no one wanted me to break it. I stared out at the icy forest, realizing my body was completely numb to the cold and wind and light rain that had started to fall. It didn't bother me in the least. But that's because I was no longer myself. I was a monster now. A vampire. A cold, half dead, half living thing with no heartbeat and a thirst for blood. And a rage within me that quietly coaxed me to kill. That voice had urged me to go after him, to rip him up. I'd had to fight it to keep myself from obeying. I'd had to ignore it and it had been anything but easy. The forest had become eerily quiet as the four statues across from me stared. I could feel their trepidation each time I figured out one more horrible detail of my new life.

"No, I get it," I insisted quietly, my throat going tight. "It's because I'm a killer now."

The Cullens finally convinced me to go back to their house. The run was all too short, but we'd been gone for hours. When Rosalie suggested a hot shower, I'd stood beneath the streams of steaming water for I don't know how long. I lathered myself up with every sweet smelling concoction lining the tiled shelf and washed away all traces of the animal blood and then simply stood there, watching the streams of water run down the shiny tiles. Eventually all of the dried blood ran down the white tiles and down the drain, fading from red to pink to finally just water. I was clean, but I felt far from it.

I closed my eyes, blinking slowly. There was no relief tied to it, I realized. Breathing, blinking, moving. I no longer felt the urge to scratch, sneeze, twitch, and fidget. I felt like a host of an alien body – or was it the other way around? It had only been a few days, according to what the Cullens told me, but I felt like my old self was already years behind me. I tried my best to concentrate on everything I could remember – really focus on it. I found that the more I tried, the blurrier some memories got. Others – Brady, the burning, my fall from the tree - came rushing back.

I don't get why people say death is peaceful. My death had been anything but peaceful. My death had been nothing but pain and tears and the sudden mourning of an unfinished life. No, my death hadn't been peaceful.

But you're still Lexi. You're still you, Rosalie had told me on the way back to the house. I didn't believe her – I couldn't. I was physically here now, but I wasn't myself. Maybe vampires were just hard creatures without souls. That's what I felt like, anyway. I didn't feel like Lexi anymore. She felt like a distant memory that was slipping further away with every tick of the clock. Her words may as well have fallen on deaf ears. I wasn't even sure if I was really alive – I had no heartbeat, no pulse, and hard, stone like skin that was so smooth and flawless I felt like a walking granite countertop.

I'd made the mistake of glancing in the clean, mirror-like windows of the house when we returned to the house. It seemed like the way I'd screamed had echoed from the trees for ages when I saw the ghostly white girl covered in blood like she'd just murdered an entire town. My clothes were covered in blood, mud, and dripping wet from trying to wash myself off in the frozen river. My eyes were as red as the blood that covered my clothes and my light-blonde hair was stuck up in several directions and contained a few dried leaves and burrs.

At least the fire was gone. Even with my new advanced mind, I couldn't come up with words to describe what I'd gone through after he'd bitten me. I gasped quietly, covering my mouth as the water streamed down on me. I remembered his eyes, I realized. His blood red, cold, dead eyes. My mind took me back to the fuzzy memory of being held in the tree, dangling in the air like nothing more than a windsock. Then he'd ripped my neck open and dropped me like I was nothing.

I wanted to cry. But I couldn't, I realized.

Instead I kept my hand cupped over my mouth and squeezed my eyes shut under the streams of water.

"When were you going to tell me?" I asked after I got out. I sat on the bed, wrapped in a silk robe with Rosalie gently brushing out my hair.

"Tell you what?" she asked. The hurt tone and soft cadence of her voice answered the question for me. She's been avoiding telling me about Brady and my family, of reminding me all that I had to leave behind.

"I'm new to this, but I know enough to do that math," I muttered picking at my granite-hard nails. Picking at your cuticles absentmindedly did nothing satisfying when your body was hard as stone. "I know how good those animals smelled. I can only guess how people smell. I can't ever go near them again, can I? My family?"

Rosalie stilled behind me. I didn't need to hear her answer.

"No."

I lowered my head, staring at my lap. The memories of their faces – my mother, father, brothers, Patrick… they were foggy, like I hadn't seen them in years. My eyes focused on the royal purple color of the bedspread beneath us, easily dissecting the layers of fibers. It was so strange to be able to see, hear, feel, smell… everything.

"I tried to go back," she murmured, sliding the paddle brush down my hair.

I glanced at her over my shoulder. "What?"

Her face looked angelic and nostalgic as she gazed off into space, blinking slowly. "I tried to go back to my house. I disguised myself of course, but I still went back to see if my family had… if they mourned me," she sighed, a slight hitch in her voice. "I wanted to check on my brothers. My mother, father… and see what had changed without me."

She sighed, gently dragging the brush down my scalp. "My life had stopped in its tracks. Frozen. But theirs… theirs carried on. I was a memory."

I looked at her questioningly over my shoulder again. "What happened? To you, I mean? To make you this way?"

She stopped brushing. She sniffed to herself and shook her head. "Would it make you feel any better to know that this… life… wasn't my choice either?"

My eyes lowered to the purple bedspread again, and I shook my head. "Not really."

Rosalie inhaled softly and continued slowly brushing. "Another time, maybe."

If I thought waking up a vampire was strange… well, I really hadn't seen anything yet.

First – vampires weren't anything like they were in the movies. I thumbed through book after book in Carlisle's library that evening as Rosalie sat perched on a nearby ottoman, gently talking me through everything. I felt like a stranger in my own body. I would no longer eat real food, I learned. It would feel like stones in my stomach and I'd have to force myself to cough it up if I ever had to eat it to look normal. Water wouldn't sate the burn in my throat, nor would alcohol, milk, or any other liquid – from now on my only selection was animal blood. Blood, blood, and more blood. But apparently the flavors varied.

"I can tolerate elk or even something as small as a squirrel if I just need a drink," she explained delicately, folding her hands in her lap. "If I know I'm going to be around humans… and things are going to be difficult for me… then I always overfeed or make sure I'm at least as well fed as I can manage before I subject myself to it."

"Human smell… bad? I thought after everything you've told me they would smell amazing."

She pursed her lips and stared at her lap. "They do... They smell like… a steak. A Thanksgiving meal. A freshly baked pie. Wonderful. But we don't partake in that… diet," she replied tightly, her golden eyes going a little unfocused. I watched her as she inhaled deeply and closed her eyes. She opened them, focusing on me. "You'll need to prepare yourself, Lexi. Human smell like the most wonderful meal you could ever eat. But resisting them is the most excruciating torture you'll ever endure. Your throat will burn, your mouth will fill with venom, and you'll have the most murderous, traitorous thoughts you've never heard yourself dare to think. But you will think them… someday. You need to be ready for that."

I shook my head and stared at my lap. "So I have that to look forward to," I muttered. I let my teeth scrape against my lip as I pictured the faces of people I'd come to know. They were blurry, but I could do it. Regan, Claire, Sue, Charlie, my teachers…. "I could never kill someone. Ever."

"I thought the same thing. And when I was first turned I… I thought I would be fine. My self-control was legendary and surprised everyone in the house. But… the first time Esme and Carlisle took me to a social in town I… I had to leave. Quickly. It didn't take long until I found out that my self-control was nothing that I thought it was. I needed to be careful."

A social? I thought. What on earth was that? For the second time that night, I wondered just how old Rosalie and the rest of the Cullens were. It wasn't the first time one of them had slipped a term in that I had only read in books or heard in old movies. Old ones. I was curious how old they all were, but that seemed like a personal question to ask to someone I'd just met. Especially someone I'd just me that adopted me.

"Acting human can be…challenging."

I stared at her, watching as she twisted her hands in her lap. She'd learned to fidget like a human that was for sure. No wonder no one suspected them. "But you seem so…"

"I know. It takes practice. Years of practice."

I blinked slowly, taking her words in. Standing, I walked over to the large, ornate mirror that hung on one wall. It took me a few seconds to work up the courage to look up and meet the gaze of my reflection. Even after preparing myself I still wanted to jump. I looked so… scary. Blood red eyes stared back at me from a face that was so pale white and perfect it belonged in some sort of twisted Sci-fi movie. The girl in the mirror was stone still, her creepy eyes staring back at me. Her smooth, porcelain looking skin had no freckles, scars, or imperfections. Hair that fell in soft, perfect looking silver-blonde waves below her straight shoulders. My posture had never been this good when I was human, nor had I ever been this pale or good looking. Stepping closer, I observed my reflection. Even without a stitch of makeup on, my skin was even and smooth, turning just slightly pink on my curved cheekbones. My lips were fuller and a deeper shade of pink than I remembered. My eyes moved upwards, focusing on the purplish bags under my eyes – that was the only downside, Rosalie explained. When we were thirsty, our eyes darkened to black and dark rings tended to appear beneath them. I guess as a constantly thirsty 'newborn' vampire, I'd have to get used to that. My eyelashes were longer and darker; reaching out, I lightly ran my fingertip down them to make sure I wasn't wearing any mascara. I wasn't.

The girl in the mirror was striking and terrifying. This wasn't me – and everyone would know it. I couldn't go back to my home because I looked like an extra in a Twilight zone episode. They'd know something was different right away – what would I tell them?

And I guess I'd want to kill anything with a pulse.

I swallowed, testing the burn in my throat. It had been subdued to an uncomfortable itch, but I could guess that it wouldn't be going away anytime soon from what Rosalie had told me. I would never look the same again, I'd never die, never sleep, never hear my heartbeat. I'd only ever drink animal blood and I'd have to avoid humans like the plague. But… all humans?

I turned around to look at her. She was thumbing through a thick magazine of interior design while I asked her questions. "What about Brady?"

She raised one blonde eyebrow. "What about him?"

"I… I remember him. Bits and pieces. It's weird, it's like my mind is coming back to me in fragments. It's really slow and it's hard to remember everything but….What about him?"

"Honestly? Brady is a wolf. You're a vampire. The two don't really mix I'm afraid," she said slowly.

"What do you mean?"

She exhaled and resumed flipping the pages in her magazine. "Well for starters… we're natural enemies. We've had a truce with them for years now because of Jacob and Renesmee, but I wouldn't voluntarily be spending any of my time with them," she sniffed. I sensed some tension there. I frowned. I fought to remember what Brady had told me about them – they were…bonded? No, imprints! I smiled to myself as I remembered the word.

"Jacob and Renesmee? Aren't they… imprints?"

She nodded. "Why?"

"Well… from what you told me earlier, Renesmee is a half vampire, right? Which is… really weird, even in this scenario," I mumbled. "I know Jacob is a wolf. How do they make it work? He doesn't want to kill her?"

Rosalie frowned. "I'm not… I don't know. But they do. But she's half a vampire. Not a full vampire, like you. I know… I mean I was there when you were bitten. Renesmee was born the way she is and Jacob imprinted on her right afterwards. I know Brady imprinted on you when you were a human, but… Lexi, I sincerely doubt that bond is still the same as it was before you were changed. The human part of you is…well, it's gone. You're a vampire now."

I glanced down at my hands. "I know. But I remember Brady and….don't you think he would remember me too? The human me? Maybe…."

Rosalie sighed deeply. "I sincerely doubt it. But…if this life has taught me anything, it's that…well, anything is possible."

"Have any other wolves imprinted on vampires?"

"Well, no… it's not something that happens every day. I don't think whatever… magic it is that allows them to imprint works on vampires."

"But Renesmee-"

"Half vampire, Lexi." She gave me a pleading look. "I don't know what would happen if you were to see Brady again. I really don't. But most vampires don't want anything to do with wolves if they can help it. They're our natural enemies and while they make good acquaintances and allies when you need them, I can't imagine you'd want to choose one for your mate."

"Mate?"

"Well… husband, boyfriend, lover… whatever you want to call it. Vampires use 'mate', wolves use 'imprint', and humans use marriage… we all have our terms. What I'm saying is… I don't know what you'd do if you saw him again. I don't think you'd exactly want to kiss him, Lexi. Most of the time I want to bash them over the head with a tree," she sighed.

I turned and looked at myself in the mirror. I wasn't myself anymore, that much was evident. But how would I feel about Brady? I focused hard, trying to remember him. His face came to the front of my mind easily enough now that I'd made myself think of him. I stared into the mirror, willing the memories to come back to me. They did… slowly. Standing in my front yard arguing in the rain… arguing at the prom… fighting in the parking deck at the mall… bickering in my dad's house… then my old bedroom. My bedroom! I fought back a blush, willing myself to calm down… before realizing I could no longer blush. I looked at Rosalie behind me in the reflection of the mirror.

"I really did love him. I want to see him again… just to talk to him."

Rosalie raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything for a long minute. "I won't keep you from him. But I don't know how you'll react. Your instincts are strong right now. You might want to kiss him or… you might want to pick a fight with him or rip his throat out."

I pictured Brady crouching before me in the woods – the memory was fuzzy, but I could at least recall the way his human form would shake and blur before morphing into a huge beast. I wasn't about to mess with anything like that, vampire or not. He was positively ferocious.

"Fight? With Brady? If he shifts, he'd tear me apart in no time."

She smirked. "Not so much. You're a newborn vampire, Lexi. You'd tear that pup limb from limb if you got the jump on him."

I whirled around to gape at her. "You mean… we might fight? Would he attack me?"

"No, I'm sure he wouldn't. He still… cares for you. He was nearly inconsolable while you turned and… we only made him leave because he has blood running through his veins. Stinky, dog-flavored blood, but still…"

"But would I attack him?"

"Probably."

I turned around to stare at myself in the mirror again. I couldn't picture myself fighting Brady. Of course we bickered and fought… about what I couldn't remember now, but surely we had. But would I seriously want to attack him? I could never remember being angry enough with someone that I'd wanted to attack them. I sighed. How much of me was really me, and how much was this monster I'd become? I didn't know – and that was terrifying. Glancing down, I held my hands up and turned them over. I was strong- I could feel how strong I was. I felt like a tightly coiled spring, ready to attack and rip something apart. But… I also felt like me. Somewhere. Deep down, at least. And the real me wouldn't pick a fight with Brady – I wouldn't pick a fight with anyone. I was sassy and opinionated, but I was more bark than bite.

"If you want to see him, I won't stop you. But… just give yourself a few days. I'll have Edward talk to him, ask him to keep his distance while you get used to this. Does that sound ok? Then in a week or so if you really want to see him… we'll arrange a safe meeting. Ok?"

"You would do that?"

She rolled her eyes. "I don't love the mutt, but I don't want to see you rip him apart in a fit of newborn rage. We'll make it safe for him, you have my word. For now just… focus on your memories and what makes you, you."

"I remember things, but… even things that only happened a few days ago feel like they happened years ago. It's blurry, but I can remember them."

She sighed, setting down her magazine. "You'll want to focus on your memories now, and think of them often. Your vampire mind is strong and sharp, but your human memories will be fleeting after time passes. I found that the more I thought of my fondest… and not so fond… um, memories… the easier they are for me to remember now. I can still remember things from my past and I make a point to revisit them often in my mind."

I bit my lip again as my curiosity overcame my need to be polite.

"How… long ago were you human? I mean, how long have you been like this?" I blurted out. Rosalie stared at me, her golden eyes surprised and then sad. Maybe I'd overstepped, but she didn't look too horrified.

"I'm… sorry," I stammered, "I wasn't a very… graceful and tactful as a human, and I guess I won't be as a vampire either. Especially when I'm nervous. Which I am right now. I erm… vampire etiquette is a new thing to me I guess you could say…"

She chuckled, shaking her head. "Don't worry, Lexi. You really don't have to be concerned with hurting my feelings or saying the wrong thing. I know you're new to this. I was born in Rochester, New York… in 1915."

I heard myself gasp. "1915? But that means you're…"

"Technically almost a hundred years old. Yes, I've done the math," she laughed quietly. Her eyes flicked up to mine. "I was… turned… when I was your age. Before I'd really gotten a chance to live. I've been like this ever since."

"Wow," I muttered. "Well… I'm sorry I asked. I take it you weren't turned under the best circumstances either?"

She shook her head sadly. "Most of us weren't. My sister in law, Bella… she met Edward as a human and wanted to be turned. Hers was by choice. But the rest of us, well… we each have our stories. The story of how a vampire was turned is a personal one, and one they share when they're ready," she replied, standing up. She gracefully walked over to me, taking my hand in hers. "You reminded me of myself when I found you in the woods after Jacob called us. That's why I wanted to help you. I can't imagine waking up alone in all of this, and surely you were already frightened."

I thought back a few days, although it wasn't without difficulty. I could remember dangling from the treetop, the blinding pain of the bite, and the feeling of careening towards the ground. I flinched.

"Thank you for coming to help me," I said, my voice tight. I felt like I wanted to cry, but I knew that was physically impossible. "I'm sorry to have… barged in on your family. I guess I can never go back to mine."

Rosalie pulled me into a hug. "We can be your family. I… I always wanted a family of my own. When I was a human. I can't have children of my own, but… that was the one thing I've always wanted to be. A mom," she trailed off sadly. She released me from the embrace, offering me a sad smile. "I'll do anything I can for you, Lexi."

I swallowed back the raw emotion I felt, making my throat flame hot with thirst. I would need to get used to that.

"Just… help me. Help me through this. I feel so… lost. And out of place. Help me so that I don't hurt anyone and I don't turn into something I'm not."

She nodded. "Of course."

I turned back to the mirror, staring at the girl who barely looked like me. "Help me figure this vampire thing out and get control… and then help me not kill Brady when I see him."

She watched me in the reflection, nodding solemnly. "Deal."


End file.
